New Beginnings.

“They won, they won” I heard a little two year old voice yelling in the living room. I smiled as I walked in, the little two year old was bouncing around, for someone so young they all ready had the love of hockey.
“Mamma, Hawk win” Lucas began “We see cup?”. It was the night of June 9th, 2010 the Chicago Blackhawk’s just won the Stanley Cup and their captain Jonathan Toews was going to be bring that cup back here to Winnipeg. I wish I was as excited as him, but seeing him all over the TV, was so hard. How do you explain to your little boy, the daddy he keeps asking for just won the Cup?

August 2007;
“Your family is moving to Winnipeg, that is such great news” Jonathan said.
“I know, but you will be in Chicago all the time, it’s not really going to matter” I told him.
“Kenadie, this means no traveling to see each other in the summer, we can be together longer” Jon said.
“Jon, you are going to play in the NHL, you should be more worried about that then summer” I said.
“I know, but you know how I feel about us, I don’t want to lose that, what we have is amazing” He said. I smiled. Who knew this boy I latterly ran into on the first day Shattuck St. Mary’s would be the one I wanted to spend my life with, or so I though everything was just that perfect.

October 2007;
“Jamie, I’m pregnant” I finally got out. My best friend was standing in my room, while I was on my bed balling.
“You have to tell Jonathan” She told me.
“I can’t, he’s in training camp, I can’t ruin his career before it even starts” I told her.
“He can do both, please just tell him, he will find out” She began “He will be so hurt if he finds out any other way”
“I can do this alone, He won’t be around and I cant just move to Chicago” I told her.
“Kenadie, you guys are meant to be together, how are you going to explain this to him” Jamie began “You guys can get through anything”
“Please don’t tell him” I begged her.
“Just do the right thing” Jamie said.

I woke up to Lucas jumping on the bed. I loved my little boy and I wouldn’t change anything about my life. We have had some up and downs, Jonathan and I broke things off in November of 2007, to this day he does not about Lucas, I tough it would be best. He tried to remain friends, but I just kept pushing away. I felt like I could ruin his career if he knew the truth. Another best friend, Luc Bourdon who was from my original hometown and was friends with Jonathan tried so hard to get me to spill. Though he still was there for me through out my whole pregnancy, he was playing in Manitoba, so I made sure to see him play whenever I could, but sadly he never got to meet little Lucas.

May 29th, 2008 was the worst and best day of my life. I remember it so clearly. I got a message from Luc that morning saying Good Luck with everything, I want to know as soon as baby arrives. It was my due date for Lucas. A few hours after, I turned on the news and I was not ready for what I heard them say, Luc Bourdon killed in Motorcycle Accident. I spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon crying. My family was so sportive. Then late afternoon, my water broke and the baby was ready.

Thankfully Labour wasn’t a long one, I had a good one compare to others. When they placed that little boy into my arms, I knew everything was going to be okay. I had a named picked out, but I knew he needed a more meaningful name.
“What are you going to call him” my mother asked.
“Luc” I began “Lucas Jonathan Fraser”
“Beautiful name for a handsome boy” my father said.
“He’s named after the most important people in my life” I began “Luc messaged me this morning, and told me to make sure he was the first to know, I’d give anything just to be able to tell him that he is here and that he was right that was it was a beautiful baby boy”
“He’s looking down smiling right now, I just know it” my mother comforted me.

Last month we celebrated Lucas’s two year birthday, we very lucky to have Suzanne and Charlene come out for this special day, they were Luc’s mother and girlfriend. I wanted them to be involved because I was close to them growing up, and I knew it would have been what Luc wanted.

I also had a surprise message from Jonathan, he just wanted to make sure I was okay, he knew how close I was to Luc. My family still thinks I should just come out and tell him everything but now I know its too late. I knew he had moved on, or so I had heard. I was still so very proud of him and I knew he was going to great things in his life and this past year, he had done three major ones. I would love to just give him a huge hug, but now things are so different.
 
“Kennadie, what are you going to do?” My father Peter asked
“I don’t know” I began “I have a little boy who wants nothing more than to see the cup, but it would be too hard to face Jonathan”
“I don’t want to be in the middle, but I know how much this means to him” Dad began “I will take Lucas”
“Thank you Daddy, that means so much to the both of us” I told him. That felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
Summer was almost normal for us, other than fact then every time you turn around there was something about Jonathan. I knew I was hurting him but not telling him about his little boy, but at the time I though it was the right thing to do.
 
“We see cup today” Lucas was running around the house singing. I just smiled, in that way he does take after her father, he has a passion for the game all ready and he was only two. He was playing with mini-sticks as soon as he could sit up. He started liking the Hawks after his grandfather, and for some reason he took to Toews, you asked him and that was his favourite player.
 
It was a warm late July day. Jonathan was bring the cup home today. Lucas was so excited, he just kept bouncing around. I was so grateful that Dad was going to take him. I just prayed that Jonathan doesn’t put two and two together. I got Lucas dress in his Toews shirt and a pair of shorts. I pilled the sun block on him. He looked adorable. They were all ready to go.
“Mama, coming?” Lucas asked
“Mama, can’t, but you and Grandpa have fun okay” I told her “Be a good boy” I kissed the top of his head and gave him a hug.
 
Dad and Lucas headed off. I really hope this was a good idea, Jonathan would know my father when he seen him. They parked their car and headed on to the rink grounds. Lucas was still bouncing around. The crowd was huge, but that didn’t scare him, he wanted to see the cup and Toews and he was determined to do so. I would have loved to be there, and see his excitement, but I just couldn’t handle it.
They got in a line up, and waited and finally Lucas was right in front of his favourite player. Jonathan smiled and shook my fathers hand
“Peter, it’s been too long” Jonathan began “Who is this little one”
“Lucas” He told him with a huge smile. They got their picture taken, and talked for a few more minutes.
“How’s Kennadie” Jonathan asked. My dad began to speak but he was cut off.
“You know Mama?” Lucas asked. That stunned Jonathan.
“Kennadie has a son” Jon asked.
“She’s my Mama” Lucas told him.
“Long story, but Congrats Jon, we are all so proud of you” Dad told him. Then they had to leave to let other people have their turn. They headed back home.
 
“How was it?” I asked Lucas as she walked in the door.
“Jon knows you have a son” Dad told me.
“Mama, you know Tazer” Lucas asked.
“You know Mama went to the same school as him” I told him.
We tried to go on with the rest of the day, Lucas did have fun but wasn’t happy that I didn’t tell him I knew Jonathan. It was just too hard. I though things would just go back to normal, everything would just stay the same. I was definably wrong. Later on in the evening, there was a knock on our door. I was closest so I walked over and opened it. I was surprised to see the person behind the door.
 
“I’m not surprised to see you here” I told him.
“I think we need to talk” Jon replied.
“What are you talking about” I asked. Lucas ran into the room at the same time, he was excited to see Jonathan again.
“Him” Jon replied. He did look like him, and now seeing them side by side. You could tell they were there was some relation.
“Luc, can you please go in your room, Mama and Jon need to have a grown up talk” I told her, and he ran back into his room.
“Is he mine” He asked. I looked at the ground, everything was about to change.
 
“Yes” I began “I’m sorry, I found out when you were in training camp your rookie year, and I couldn’t be the one to end your career before it even started”
“We would have worked this out, Kennadie” Jon began “I was so hurt when things ended, you knew I loved you and wanted to spend the rest of my life with you”
“It was too much too soon” I told him.
“Do you know how I felt today, seeing this little boy who looked like me, with your father and then finding out she was your son” He replied.
“Jonathan, I’m sorry.” I began “We both were young, so much had happen and you were gone, and I knew you were ready for greatness and I wasn’t going to take that away”
“We could have worked this out, Were you going to him from me forever” He asked.
“I really don’t know, you don’t know how hard it has been to watch a little boy idolize her father and not even know it” I told him.
“I can’t believe you, of all people would keep something so huge like this away from me” Jon began “I would have wanted to be apart of my own child’s life”
“I’m sorry” I began “I was young and scared”
“Where do we go from here, I want to be apart of my son’s life” Jonathan said.
“You can see him anytime you want” I told him.
“Does he know” He asked.
“No, he doesn’t” I told him.
“I want to know everything about him” He asked
“May 29th was my due date, and he came on that day” I began “It was a bitterly sweet day, I knew as soon as I seen him, I knew his name would be Lucas, Lucas Jonathan Fraser, he was my reason for making it through Luc’s accident.”
“I wish I would have been there” Jon said.
“You have no idea how sorry I really am, I though it would be for the best at the time” I told him
“What’s he like?” Jon asked
“Amazing, we are so lucky to have a son like him” I began “He loves hockey, he loves the Hawks”
 
“Lucas, can you come in here” I called for him. He raced back into the kitchen.
“Yes Mama” he asked
“Remember, how you asked where Daddy was, other kids had one but you didn’t” I asked him.
“Yes” he replied.
“I want you to meet your Daddy” I told her. His face light up, he gave Jonathan a huge hug.