Lips Like Morphine

Part fifty two:

"Here Raabbit.. " I smiled handing him another bowl of soup. He’d been feeling sick for the past few days. Just like when it all began, I was playing nurse again. "Thanks Hell.. you’re an angel.. " He croaked. He sounded so sick it just wasn’t funny anymore.. the doctor said it was just the flu.. it would pass in time. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bam roll his eyes at us, he was working at the dinnertable. "What, Bam? What’s annoying you this time? " I snapped. It had been going on for the past few weeks new.. ever since we got back from the cabin.. he’d pick the smallest things to blow up and be pissy about. He looked up again and raised an eyebrow at me. "What? Did you hear me say anything!? " He protested. "Actions speak louder than words dear" I said purposely rolling my eyes at him. I walked towards the kitchen to put Raabs old bowl in the dishwasher. I didn’t hear him following me. "What the fuck is your problem lately Hell? Don’t period’s only last a week? You’ve been nothing but a nagging bitch lately! " He said harshly grabbing my arm. I gasped and looked at him with wide eyes, he’d never even touched me before. Well.. he’d touched me of course.. But never when we fought. We had some little fights before, mostly over nothing.. I know this wasn’t exactly what you’d call abuse or something.. but it was definitely painful, and more than I was used to from him. "Let go Bam! I’m not being a bitch.. you’ve been the one picking fights constantly! What’s wrong with you? " I yelled frustrated. He grunted and let my arm go in a swing, making it connect harshly with the cabinets behind me. I cringed and immediately grabbed it with my other hand. "Just.. shut up.. fucking shut up.. " He grunted walking back to the livingroom. I let out a frustrated yell and threw down the rag I was holding. I had it.. I needed to get out of here. I stomped upstairs, grabbing the keys to my lamborgini. "Where the fuck do you think you’re going!? " Bam yelled from the table. I whipped around, furious now. "What, I need permission now, FATHER!? " I couldn’t quite read his face. "Fuck it.. I’m outta here.. " I mumbled slamming the door behind me. I made my way to my car.. furious, yet not really knowing why. What the hell were we doing?

"I just don’t get it April.. do you think it’s me? Did I do something? Did he mention something to you? " I was sitting at the original margera dinner table.. staring mindlessly into my cup of tea. She sighed. "I have no clue dear.. It’s a mystery to all of us, that what goes on in my son’s mind.. " She said stirring her steaming tea. "It’s been going on for weeks now.. at night.. everything’s pretty much fine.. He always wraps his arms around me when we sleep, and I still feel as content as I did the day we started dating. But during the day, it’s like I can’t do anything right anymore! Goddamn it.. With all the shit he’s got me thinking, I can’t even find the inspiration to write anymore! " I groaned and dug my nails into the tablecloth. "Don’t beat yourself up over it Hell, that’s all I can tell you. Bam has his times where.. where he’d best be left alone, completely. He doesn’t mean to hurt people, but in his frustration about something else it often does happen, unintentionally. " She said looking at me with a slight smile. "So I’ve noticed.. " I mumbled.

I spend the entire afternoon at April and Phil’s.. when I figured I’d better head back, see if Bam was willing to talk about it. I downed the last of my tea and stood up to hug April. "Thanks April.. it means a lot that you’re willing to listen.. " She chuckled. "Anytime dear, you know it. Just as well as I know how difficult Bam can be.. " I smiled slightly before grabbing my keys and walking out to my car. On the front steps, I ran into Jess, literally. "Hey.. " He said grabbing both my shoulders. "I don’t know exactly what’s going on.. just that my brother’s being his pissy self once again.. " He started a little doubting. I was just about to say something when he continued. "It’s just.. I was kinda waiting for this to happen. In just about every longterm relationship Bam has had.. he’d start to show some kind of selfdestructive behaviour.. at lack of a better word. " I raised my eyebrows. "No.. not selfmutilation.. I mean, relationship wise.. You’re good to him.. probably the best he’s ever been with. " This caused me to blush slightly. "He’s not used to everything going smoothly, he can pick fights over the littlest things. Just to prove to himself that things aren’t perfect. But most of the times.. he doesn’t know when to stop proving it to himself.. he drives people away. Please don’t let this come between you.. " I was touched by what he was doing for his brother.. they had a strong bond. I nodded. "I won’t.. really. I just needed a place to vent for a while. Even if we weren’t fighting today.. sometimes that little brother of yours can get a bit overwhelming.. " I said with a wink. "It won’t make me love him any less though, don’t worry.. " A relieved smile came over his face. "That’s good to hear Hell, really.. " I smiled back. "Now, if you’ll excuse me.. I’ll go see if his highness can accept my apology.. " He smirked a bit. "It’s his fault too you know.. " He said looking at me once more. I chuckled softly. "I know.. but I’m figuring the only way for him to start talking normally to me again is if I apologise first.. Sort of have a clean slate before I start accusing him of stuff again.. " I said biting my tongue a little. Jess laughed. "Fine fine.. you go.. good luck.. " He said smiling as I walked down to my car. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. "Thanks.. " I said softly before opening the door.

"I’m baack! " I said throwing my keys on the table beside the door. I was greeted by a coughing fit from the livingroom. I walked to find Raab on the couch, under three blankets, watching spongebob. "Hell!? " He said, eyes wide, utterly astounded. I raised an eyebrow. "No Raabie.. it’s santa clause.. Who’d you think it was? " I said laughing slightly. He looked down. "I didn’t really know after the fight.. " He muttered. I leant my head on the couch he was laying on. "It wasn’t world war three you know.. " I said trying to cheer him up. He smirked but didn’t answer. "Where’s Bam.. ‘ve you seen him? " I said looking around. The house was just too quiet. "They went to the bar.. " Raab said before coughing again. "They didn’t think you’d be back anymore.. " He coughed again. I rolled my eyes. "Figures.. I’ll just go to him then.. thanks Raabit.. " I said ruffling his hair before speeding out the door again. If I’d only stayed and asked what he exactly meant by that..

I swung open the door, only to be slapped in the face by the smell of smoke and cheep beer. I blinked a few times, adjusting to the sight. I smiled at the security guard and made my way further into the bar. I looked around but saw no sign of the guys anywhere. Then I mentally slapped my self. Duh, the usual booth in the back maybe? Nice going Helena..

I froze.. Christ, is this the thing you get when dating a celebrity? We’ve experienced it before, but tonight seemed to sting even more. Probably because he didn’t push her off. Bam was sitting on the end of the booth, a busty redhead practically mounting him. Sure, "officially" He wasn’t doing anything wrong.. But that didn’t take away the hurt. There he sat, with that halfass smirk on his face.. enjoying the double d chest pushed in his face. I slowly inched closer.
"It’s good to know you care this much about our relationship.. so much that the first whore in sight is a decent substitute.. Glad to know where I stand Margera.. " I spoke icily calm and softly. Despite all the noise around us, he heard me. His head snapped up and his eyes widened at the sight of me. Now it was my turn for a halfass smirk. I turned on my heal and walked out again. Outside, I allowed the first tears to break free from the confinements of my eyes. "Hell, no, come back.. wait up please! " Bam came stumbling out after me. Not so much drunk, as he was wanting to go after me.. I saw him drunk.. he wasn’t now. "What was I supposed to think.. you running out like that.. I thought we were over! " He yelled flailing his arms up in desperation. I closed my eyes, not believing what I just heard. When I opened them I saw him standing there, helpless.. I laughed through my anger and my tears. "Are you that fucking naive Bam!? One fight does not mean we’re over.. I was MAD AT YOU.. that’s it. You’ve been mad at me constantly these past weeks.. did you see me assume we were done!? You need to cut back on those fucking soap opera’s.. fucking drama queen." I had never cussed him out so much.. ever.. I stepped in my car and started the engine. "And for god sakes, find another way to deal with your problems, sorrow knows how to swim! " I said referring to his way of grabbing the bottle when times got a little rough. I pulled out and drove to my house. Which, even though we fought, still wasn’t my home.. that would always be the castle.