Moves Like Jagger

“Do we really need to have a first dance?” Jack complained, flopping down virtually lifeless on the wooden floor of the small studio space he and Alex had rented to practice the dance they'd do together once they were officially married, his eyes squeezing closed in futile hopes of falling back asleep and getting out of going through with such an overused tradition. He'd agreed to do this a few weeks ago, but now he was definitely having some second thoughts. Who in their right fucking mind would want to learn the proper way to slow dance at six-thirty on a Monday morning? “It's so cliché!”

“That's exactly why we're doing it,” Alex countered, crouching down near Jack's head and reaching out to comb his fingers through the younger's hair, which was falling uselessly in said man's face, the near-black strands all but effectively blocking out the harsh ceiling lights shining down on them.

“Can't we, like, skip it and just do something else?” Jack pushed, not daring to open his eyes because he knew, he fucking knew, the look Alex would be giving him. It's been the same exact one since they'd officially started planning for the wedding, the puppy dog eyes and pouty lips that practically screamed, 'Please, Jacky, don't make me beg. You know you can't deny me, not with this face, please?'

It's not that Jack minded the fact that Alex wanted to plan nearly everything on his own, not really—less for him to do in the end, right? All he actually had to do was make sure Alex didn't get too overwhelmed and have a panic attack or something—and he wanted, truly wanted, Alex to have everything and anything his precious, little heart so desired, but seriously, a dance?

“Besides, our first slow dance happened back at prom, remember? We can't take it back now.” It was silent after Jack said that, and he could practically hear his heart beating in his ears. He almost stopped breathing; already knowing he hit some sort of nerve in the elder.

“Yeah, I guess you're right,” Alex agreed quietly, a sigh falling from his lips as his voice lowered sadly, pathetically. “If you really don't wanna do this, then I guess we ca-..”

Jack sighed as well, opening his eyes and looking up at Alex, who'd seated himself fully on the wooden floor and was now staring down at his hands as his fingers twiddled together clumsily in his lap, thick eyebrows knotted and, if Jack looked close enough, he was sure he even saw the beginning signs of full-blown tears beginning to glisten in his pitiful, brown eyes.

“No, I wanna do it. Come on, you know I wanna dance with you; of course I do,” Jack said, cutting Alex off and sitting up. He reached out, taking hold of the shorter man's hands, clasping them in his own and tangling their fingers together. He undid his right hand after a few moments when Alex still didn't look up at him and placed the side of his hand under said man's chin, tilting his head up again. Alex's eyes still looked at everything but Jack, and the younger leaned in to press their lips together momentarily, gently, putting as much of an apology into it as he could manage at such an unheard of hour. “There's nothing more I'd rather do than dance with you, Lexy.”

“Are you sure? We really don't have to,” Alex mumbled, his head drooping back down towards the ground.

“Of course I am, baby,” Jack cooed reassuringly, untangling his hand from Alex's to wrap his arms around the elder and pull him sideways into his lap, Alex automatically leaning into his body and pushing his face into Jack's neck.

It wasn’t that Alex was particularly sensitive or anything, but he knew what he wanted, what he's wanted since he so much as met Jack, and what with the stress of everything finally being pieced together, he was so close to just crying. All bride-to-be’s do at some point anyway, right? Somewhere along the way, it had been decided that, yes, Alex would be the one to walk the aisle and assume the position most females did, but he didn’t really care, as long as he got his perfect wedding with his perfect fiancé.

“It’s whatever, Jay. If you don’t wanna do it, then we don’t have to,” Alex said, sounding upset with the world, yet still finding it in himself to nuzzle into Jack even further for that little bit more of comfort; funny how it works like that.

“No, I want to dance with you, okay? I do,” Jack insisted, leaning away from his beau to get him to sit up and look him in the eye. “It’s just really early, Lex. You know how I get when I have to be awake and an active member of society before noon. Besides, I’m sure you haven’t forgotten prom; I just don’t wanna embarrass you like that again.”

Jack was.. well, Jack wasn’t the most graceful, to put it simply. Even just slow dancing and swaying in a gentle circle was too much for the clumsy, lanky man, who continually found ways to trip over his own feet as well as step on Alex’s. Later that night, nearly four years ago, Alex had told Jack that it was fine, that there wasn’t anyone else he’d rather be held like that by, and he’d sealed his promise with a kiss that, even though was the same as all the other kisses Alex ever gave him, made the younger feel impossibly more lightheaded than usual, his heart pounding mercilessly through his ribs.

It had taken weeks for Jack to figure out why that kiss had such an impact, such a lasting effect on him, and when he finally figured it out, it all made sense. He just wanted to scream that he loved the elder at the top of his lungs, but he was afraid someone else would hear him; what if Alex heard and didn’t feel the same? What if Alex played along because he felt bad, or because he only wanted to bre-..

“You’re thinking too much,” Alex whispered, nudging his nose against Jack’s cheek lightly. “If you’re trying to find a way out of doing this, I already said its fine, we honestly don’t have to; I’ll survive.”

“No, it's not that, I’m just remembering what happened after prom, when I figured out that I love you,” Jack explained, his gaze, which had been blankly pointed at the wall in front of them, moved to see the similar pair staring up at him curiously, now much more invested in the words filling the air. His eyes, which had been previously sparkling with unshed, disappointed tears, were now bright with excitement and love. “And because I love you,” Jack continued, slowly leaning closer to his fiancé, “that means I want to give you everything you could ever want, and if you want a first dance, then we'll have one.” He finished off his statement by slotting their lips gently together, but only momentarily.

Alex's eyes fluttered open when Jack pulled away, and though his body had released some of its pent up tension with Jack's words, he still seemed unsure; he loved Jack, just as the younger loved him right back, and he felt the same way: if Jack didn't want a dance, they wouldn't have one. His eyes moved down to his lap, eyebrows furrowing once again as his teeth chewed at his bottom lip. “I just don't want you to have to do someth-,” he started, and Jack had to hold in a frustrated groan. Why'd he have to go be a dick and cause all of this?

“Come on, we've only got this place for another, what, forty-five minutes? We should get at least a little bit of work in today,” he said, cutting Alex off and speaking a bit louder than necessary so that the elder would get the hint to just stop.

“But you don-..”

“Now, all I can really do is twerk, as you know, and if I'm as good at slow dancing as I was four years ago, we're gonna need a lot of practice,” Jack started, pushing Alex gently from his lap before standing and holding his hand out for the other man to take. “So just tell me what to do.”

Alex took Jack’s outstretched hand into his own before climbing to his feet, still not completely convinced that this is what the younger wanted. Of course, Jack sensed this and slid his arms around the elder’s waist, pulling their bodies gently together and then tightening his grip, his lips touching down to Alex’s forehead softly.

“Have you already decided what song you want to dance to?” Jack inquired after a few quiet moments, and Alex nodded against his chest. “What is it?”

“It’s Hard to Say ‘I Do’ When I Don’t by Fall Out Boy,” Alex answered, voice only just barely muffled by the fabric of Jack’s shirt.

The words had Jack’s brain screeching to a halt, face twisting with confusion and slight panic, body visibly tensing. What the fuck was Alex trying to say?

The elder couldn’t contain his slight laugh as he peeked up at his fiancé, and he leaned up to catch said man’s lips with his own, mumbling out an, “I’m just kidding, baby. You know I do. Relax, okay? I love you.”

Jack was still a little skeptical, but returned the ‘I love you’ nonetheless before once again asking which song Alex had picked out for the dance.

“I was thinking Beside You by Marianas? I don’t know, I mean, if you don’t like it, we can always change it, I just think it’s a cute song and.. I don’t know,” Alex rambled, leaning away from the taller man’s body to see him full on.

“Isn’t that song about, like, depression or drugs or cancer or something?” Jack mused slowly, wondering if this was yet another one of Alex’s sick, twisted jokes to—more than likely—get back at the younger for making such a fuss and upsetting him over something as simple as a dance.

“Well, I guess it kind of is,” Alex agreed with a nod, teeth pressing into his bottom lip, “but I also think that depends on how you look at it. If you go really in-depth then yeah, it probably is about depression and all of those other things, but on the outside it just sounds like a really sweet song. I don’t know, whenever I hear it, I just think of me and you.”

And god damn it, if Jack’s heart didn’t momentarily stop beating in his chest at those eleven simple words. He would admit that if you didn't try to search for some hidden meaning in the words, it was an extraordinarily cute song, and maybe he thought of Alex while listening to it as well. But Alex didn't need to know that, not with the scare he'd just given the younger.

"That sounds great, baby," Jack murmured, knowing he didn't want to make Alex upset again or they would be dancing to It's Hard to Say 'I Do' When I Don't—if there would even be a wedding at all—and pressed a kiss to Alex's forehead once more.

The elder's face visibly lit up, and the smile he gave Jack when said man pulled back was absolutely breathtaking, the dark-haired man's heartbeat stopping altogether before picking up tenfold. Alex leaned up to catch Jack's lips in a quick kiss before he untangled their bodies and slid his iPhone from his pocket, opening up the music app and scrolling through until he found the right song. Once found, he clicked on it, the music pouring from the speaker and filling the air, before making sure the volume was up fully and setting it to repeat.

After setting his phone down on the ground, Alex turned back to Jack and closed the distance between them, his arms moving to link at the back of the taller's neck. He smiled up at his beau encouragingly before undoing his arms to guide Jack's to his waist, squeezing said man's hands between his own before resuming his previous position.

"Now just follow my lead," Alex murmured, eyes gazing up at his fiancé's, who nodded numbly, already lost in the dark irises locked on his own.

The two kept it much more simple than necessary until the song, which was nearly halfway through when they started, finished, and only began to actually move around when it restarted. Jack was doing much better than he had with their first official dance, but he still had a few slip-ups, and Alex knows that's only because he's over thinking everything, already worried about fucking up, which is, in turn, causing him to actually fuck up. He isn't really sure how to make his beau less nervous, though, until the song starts up once again.

Leaning forward, he presses his forehead against Jack's, their eyes still piercing into each other's, before he opens his mouth, singing along quietly—yet loud enough for Jack to hear—to the words of Josh Ramsay.

"When it's in your spine, like you've walked for miles, and the only thing you want is just to be still for a while.."

Alex could hear the sharp intake of oxygen the other man took in, knowing his voice never failed to have that effect and always being sure to use it to his advantage.

"And if your heart wears thin, I will hold you up, and I will hide you when it gets too much. I'll be right beside you; I'll be right beside you.."

Jack visibly relaxed, his features no longer holding the worry of 'what if I..', his body moving with much more ease than it had been before.

"When you're overwhelmed, and you've lost your breath. When the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless.."

Alex took the opportunity to move around in circles a bit wider than they had been before, his lips twitching up into a gentle smile when Jack went along with not a single objection, physically nor verbally.

"When you try to speak, but you make no sound, and the words you want are out of reach, but they've never been so loud.."

Jack seemed to snap back into reality just then, his eyes widening before looking down, teeth chewing at his bottom lip as he watched his own movements. Alex almost sighed before tilting his head just so, his nose bumping against the younger's and gaining his attention back. Just like that, Jack was once again under Alex's spell.

"And if your heart wears thin, I will hold you up, and I will hide you when it gets too much. I'll be right beside you; I'll be right beside you. I will stay, nobody will break you, yeah.."

Neither is sure who the first to make the move is, but the next thing they both know, their lips are gently molding together, legs still carrying them in wide, sweeping circles along the wooden flooring of the studio. It's kept slow, innocent, and it's absolutely perfect to both.

The song continues on without Alex for help and soon enough, it's at the last chorus. That's when they pull apart, and the elder has just enough air left in his lungs to all but whisper, "I'll be right beside you; nobody will break you."