Forever and Always

Alex was sitting by the kitchen table, waiting for Jack, his fiancé, to come home from work. He’d cooked Jack’s favorite food which was now on the table, just waiting to be eaten. Jack was taking longer than usual to get home today, but Alex wasn’t worries, he probably had some errand to run or a meeting or something like that, it wouldn’t be the first time. Alex got up from where he sat and went to get his cell phone from the bedroom. He took it and wrote a message to Jack before going back to the kitchen, phone still in his hand.

“Hey baby, hope you’re fine, hurry home, I’ve cooked your favorite meal. Love you Jacky, be safe!”
He sat down again, thinking Jack would be home any minute now. But the minutes grew longer and longer and Jack still wasn’t home. Alex couldn’t deny it any longer, he was starting to get worried. Every time he heard something in the driveway he’d rush to the window to see if it was his fiancé, but every time he would return to the table in disappointment, more worried than before. He called one of his best friends, Rian, to see if he’d heard anything from Jack, but there was no such luck. He tried with Zack and Matt too but neither of them knew where Jack was.

It had now gone an hour and a half from when Jack was supposed to be home and Alex was about to have a mental break down by now, he was so worried he didn’t really know what to do anymore, every single sound sounded like a car in the driveway or footsteps on the porch. Every time he heard something he’d get hopeful, only to be disappointed yet again.

When it had been two hours since Jack was supposed to be home the phone finally rang. Alex shot up from his chair and hurried over to the phone.

“Hello? Jack is that you?” He asked frantically, feeling himself calm down a little.

“Hello, sir. Have I reached Mr. Alexander Gaskarth?” A very formal voice said on the other end. Dread spread through Alex’s body like poison and he felt himself go numb with fear. What had happened? Who was this formal person and what did he want?

“Y-yes that’s me.” Alex said with a shaky voice.

“Mr. Gaskarth, we are calling from John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore and we are sad to inform you that your fiancé, Mr. Jack Barakat has been in an accident, he is still alive but we suggest you come as quickly as possible.”

Alex somehow managed to reply something to the man before he hung up, the numbness still residing in his veins. This couldn’t be happening, why was this happening? They weren’t even married yet, was it supposed to end like this? Was this it?

Alex’s mind flashed to last December, when Jack had proposed.

---Flashback---

“Jack, where are we going? Please tell me, you know I hate surprises!” Alex said with a pout, looking up at Jack from where he stood beside him in the small elevator.
“Baby, it is a surprise no matter how much you pout or how cute you are. It is our anniversary and I want it to be special.” Jack said, chuckling a little at how childish his boyfriend could be sometimes.
“Being in New York is special enough for me Jack, simply being with you is special” Alex said, leaning his head on Jack’s shoulder, nuzzling his nose in his neck. He could feel Jack’s lips in his hair, kissing lightly.

After about five minutes they had finally reached the top of the skyscraper. Jack grabbed Alex’s hand and dragged him out on the roof. The view was amazing, they could practically see all of New York from here. Jack put down the basket he held in his other hand and started unfolding a blanket on the floor. He then started to retrieve food from the basket; a baguette, strawberries, grapes, champagne, chicken and other tasty things. Alex could only stand there, watching his boyfriend with amazed eyes because this was the most romantic thing someone has ever done to him.

When Jack had taken out four candles, lit them and placed them in the four corners of the blanket, he took Alex’s hand again and pulled him down on the blanket. They sat there just eating and talking about everything and anything, it was so beautiful and romantic and Alex knew it would be something he would always remember with a smile on his face.

After everything was eaten, Jack and Alex lied back on the blanket, simply watching the stars, something that Alex had always loved doing, ever since he was a little boy. Suddenly Jack sat up, motioning Alex to do the same. When Ale sat up, Jack turned to him with a serious expression on his face. He took Alex’s hand in his and looked him deeply in the eyes, biting his lips in what seemed like nervousness.

“Alex, I have to say something.” Jack said, determination evident in his voice. He got down on one knee before he continued to talk. “Alex, I want you forever, forever and always. Through the good and the bad and the ugly. I want us to grow old together. So Alex, will you be mine, forever and always? Will you marry me?”

Alex stared at Jack with wide, teary eyes. He could never in his life have imagined that Jack would propose today, but it made him very happy because of course he wanted to spend his forever and always with Jack, no doubt about it.

“Y-yes of course I will marry you Jack, I’ll be yours, forever and always.” Alex said, before Jack took his face in his hands and kissed him lovingly on the lips.

---End of flashback---

When Alex came back to reality again he had somehow made it to the hospital, driving without even noticing the traffic around him. He parked the car and rushed inside, heading for the front desk immediately.

“Hello, I’m here to see Jack Barakat. You called me a while ago and told me to come quickly.” Alex said, panting slightly from running.

“Oh yes, are you Alexander Gaskarth, his fiancé?” The woman at the desk asked.

“Yes I am.”

“Then please come with me, sir. This way.” She said, motioning him to follow her through the maze of corridors. On the way to Jack’s room she explained that Jack had been hit by a drunk driver on his way home from work. Alex tried to listen as she told him what was wrong with Jack but he had a hard time concentrating because reality had finally started to catch up with him and the numbness he had felt before was now replaced with fear and panic. He could feel the tears trying to push their way past his eyelids but he forced them back, trying to calm down and keep a straight face as they finally stopped outside a door.

“I’ll be right outside if you need me Mr. Gaskarth, I’ll leave you two alone for now, okay?” the nurse said, placing a calming hand on Alex’s shoulder. He took a deep breath before opening the door.

On the other side of the door he was met by the image of Jack, lying pale in a hospital bed hooked to several machines. Alex had to swallow hard to prevent a sob from escaping his throat. He had to stay strong for Jack, now was not the time to break down. He took another deep breath before he made his way towards the bed. When he was halfway through the room, Jack turned his head and looked at Alex, a smile appearing on his face as he reached out his hand slightly towards Alex, motioning him to come closer and take his hand.

“Oh Jack!” Alex exclaimed as he rushed to his fiancé’s side, taking his hand in a way too tight grip, holding it like it was a lifeline, the only thing to keep him from falling apart, which in a way was true.

“How are you feeling, baby?” Alex asked, feeling slightly stupid because of course Jack didn’t feel good, he was in a hospital bed with life threatening injuries for god’s sake!

“I’m fine, Lex. It hurts, yes, but now that you’re here everything is better.” Jack said, smiling as he rubbed the back of Alex’s hand reassuringly. This only made Alex feel worse, it became harder and harder to fight the tears but he still wanted to be strong, Jack was always the strong one and the least he could do was to return the favor now.

They simply sat there in silence for a while, Alex because he knew that if he tried to speak he’d only start crying and Jack because he was too tired to know what to say.

“Alex, do you remember when we talked about the future? About the house with the pool on the hillside, overlooking Baltimore? About how you always said you wanted two kids, a boy and a girl, while I wanted three, two girls and a boy?” Jack asked, his voice hoarse and tired.

“Yes of course I do love” Alex whispered as the first tear finally escaped from his eye. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I want it to be reality for you, I want you to buy the house on the hillside and live there till you grow old, with your son and daughter and husband or wife.”

“Jack, why are you saying it like it will be with someone else other than you? You know you are the only one for me.” Alex said, a whimper escaping as he tried as hard as he could to keep his voice from cracking.

“Because Alex, I know as well as you do that I will not be alive to see the sun rise tomorrow, and I want you to know that I want you to move on, I don’t want you to throw your life away just because I’m no longer in it. I would not be able to rest in peace if I knew that you lived a life alone in misery. I want you to be happy Alex, regardless of if it is with me or someone else.” Jack said, squeezing Alex’s hand.

“No, don’t say that Jack, you’ll be fine, you’ll make it and we will move into that house together and live there for the rest of our lives, we can even have three children Jack, I don’t care!” Alex cried, he had finally lost it, he couldn’t be strong anymore, not even if his life depended on it, which it sort of did, since Jack was his everything.

“Alex, sweetie, please don’t cry, it’ll be fine some way or another. I know you can make it baby, you’re so strong and brave darling. The only thing I’m mad about is that I never got the chance to marry you, I will never be able to see you walk down the aisle towards me, the happiest smile plastered on your face. I will never see you in a tuxedo again and I will never be able to carry you over the threshold on our wedding night.” Jack said, letting a single tear fall because he had always dreamed about their wedding, even long before they were even together Jack would fantasize about how their wedding would be, how Alex would look in a black tux, walking down the aisle, what their vows would be and where to go on their honeymoon. The knowledge that he would never live to see that day broke his heart.

Alex looked at Jack with pain in his eyes, because he couldn’t imagine marrying someone that wasn’t Jack. He would never be able to even look at someone in a loving way again because he would always feel like he cheated on Jack, and on himself for the matter. Suddenly an idea popped up in his mind and he reached excitedly for the button to call the nurses with and pressed it.

A nurse came rushing in immediately and asked what was wrong.

“Nothing.” Alex said. “Do you have a priest at this hospital ma’am? If so, can you call him here because I want him to marry us” he asked politely with an excited smile on his face. Jack and the nurse looked at him like he had lost his mind and in some way it was probably true, but he didn’t care about that right now.

“Um I’ll see what I can do sir.” The nurse said smiling with a pitying look on her face.

“Thank you, ma’am. And can you see if there are a married couple that are willing to let us borrow their rings for a while, before I can buy our own?” Alex said, still excited about his sudden idea. The nurse left the room to get the priest and the rings.

“Alex, what are you doing?” Jack asked, amusement evident in his voice.

“Making your dream come true, of course! Well, you won’t be able to see me walk down the aisle in a tux or something like that but at least you will be able to marry me and that’s always something, right?”

“Oh Alex, I love you and your crazy ideas, but yes, it is something indeed, it is absolutely enough for me, as long as I get to call you mine officially at least once I will be able to die happy.” Jack said, placing his hand on Alex’s neck, making him lean down so that they could kiss.

---

In a matter of minutes the nurse came back with a man following in her wake, she smiled when she saw the two men share a loving kiss. Alex eventually broke the kiss and turned to the two people by the door. The nurse reached out a hand where two rings lied.

“Can you marry us, father?” Alex asked the priest, giving him a pleading look.

“Of course, my child.” The priest answered before flicking through the pages in his bible to get to the right part. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join together these two men and in the name of God pronounce them husband and husband…”

The priest talked for bit longer before finally asking:

“Do you, Jack Bassam Barakat, take Alexander William Gaskarth as your wedded husband, to love him and comfort him, in sickness and in health for the rest of your life?”

“I do.” Jack said, tears running down his cheeks as he squeezed Alex’s hands.

“And do you, Alexander William Gaskarth, take Jack Bassam Barakat as your wedded husband, to love him and comfort him, in sickness and in health for the rest of your life?”

“I do.” Alex said, smiling through the tears as he looked a Jack, the happiness was evident on his face and Alex thought that this was, in a slightly morbid way due to the circumstances, the happiest moment in his life.

“You may now say your vows, Alex if you could begin please.”

“Jack, I know you probably think I’m crazy for this but the only thing I want is to be able to call you mine officially, I know you don’t have much time left in this world but I want you to know that I will always love you, forever and always. I know you told me to move on, to lead a happy life even if it was to be with someone else, but I know, no matter how much I love anybody else in this world, it will never, ever be a love as strong as the one I feel for you Jack. Because you are my soul mate, my other, better half and I will never be complete without you by my side, that is the truth.”

The beeping from the machine monitoring Jack’s heart starts to slow down and Jack squeezes Alex’s hand again, pulling him closer as he started to talk in a low, hoarse voice.

“Alex, I love you forever, forever and always. Please just remember even if I’m not there, I’ll always love you, forever and always.”

Alex leans in, placing a kiss on Jack’s lips.

“Forever and always.” He says at the line on the machine goes flat.