With Me Tonight

"So hows Norman?" May asked me as we stopped the cross walk, waiting for the walking signal. May and I had become good friends the past few weeks ever since I met her and she stopped by my store with Missy(her daughter). She had also become my running buddy when Missy was at school, and I was thankful I had made a good girl-friend.

"He's good, I guess.. I don't know, I'm just surprised he hasn't gotten bored of me yet," I sighed. It was true, I was very surprised, the past few weeks I have hung out with Norman a lot and even with Mingus and his friend Sean, too. Of course I had been a little shaky with him, but I also still don't know why he's still here. I mean I'm probably confusing as hell and the only thing he gets out of me is hanging out. Sure, we can have a fun ass time, but we barely even kiss or do anything besides flirt a little, so I actually might have friend-zoned him a little out of fear, of course. I really wanted to be with him, there is something that is pulling us together... I am basically craving him and I love having him around, but I never did anything about it.

"What's there to get bored of?" May asked me with a small smile.

I laughed at her, "I don't know. I mean I basically friend-zoned him and I don't know why he's still around."

"Maybe because he likes you and isn't just trying to get in your pants?" She tapped her chin playfully, but then gave me a serious look. I just shrugged as the traffic stopped, allowing us to continue running. We had been working up the distances we've been running and we were now turning the corner to the street my apartment building was on after our 5 miles. It wasn't that much, but we were running to be healthy, not trying to run a marathon.

When we reached my apartment building we slowed down and stopped in front of the door, starting to stretch and catch our breath. "But seriously, why don't you just un-friend-zone him. It's beyond obvious that you're falling for him." May said as she lifted her leg up and held it behind her butt.

She was right, I am falling for him. Hell, I fell for him the first day I met him and that was the scary ass part. Fuck, I'm so sick and tired of being scared. "You should invite him as your date to Gus's wedding!" May started to get excited at her new idea.

"That's kind of a serious date."

"Exactly! It's the perfect way to un-friendzone him!" She threw her hands up in the air, trying to get her message across.

I let out a long sigh, "I don't know."

May huffed and followed me inside the building, heading up to my apartment with me. When we got inside I walked over to my fridge and threw her a water bottle before we plopped down on the couch. "So, any big plans for thanksgiving?" May asked, taking off her sweatshirt.

I followed her actions and stripped mine off too, leaving me in only my sports bra and harem pants. May and Gus were some of the only ones I was comfortable with showing off this much skin to, so I sighed happily as the cold air that cooled me down, even though it was pretty chilly outside. "Don't really have much, probably just gona hang around and eat a lot. You?"

"Driving back to my parents house with Missy for the holiday. Hey, hows the progress on getting tickets to Scotland?" She laid back on the couch, slipping of her shoes and laying her legs across my lap. "Ew. Your feet stink," I teased her.

"Embrace it!" She joked and moved her feet closer to my face. I quickly slapped them away and we laughed, sometimes I swear we acted like we have known each other forever, or just acted like teenagers in general. "I'm still saving up for the ticket and I'm also trying to find a good time to go, but with Gus's wedding and the store, it's hard." I told her.

"I'm sure it will work out soon enough, your family is not going anywhere." She said and then took a drink of the water. "If you want you can come with Missy and I down to my parents for Thanksgiving?"

"Na, it's alright, I don't want to be a burden," I waved her off.

"Nonsense woman! I'm not leaving you here and my parents will love to meet my BFF that saved me from my asshole boyfriend!" She sat up, looking at me intently. She had had an asshole boyfriend that was the shittiest father I have ever met and I helped her get rid of him and helped her through it, knowing my own fair share of assholes. I sighed, "I'll think about it, thanks."

She threw her arms around me in a quick hug before she got up off the couch and grabbed her sweatshirt. "Missy has a half day today because of conferences so I'm gona get goin, text you later!" She slid on her shoes and went over to the door.

"Mk, try not to be too bitchy to the teachers!" I called after her as she opened the door. She flipped me off quickly and we both laughed before she left, shutting the door behind her.

I sighed and hopped of my couch with my water, shuffling into my bedroom and plopping onto the bed. I noticed my little Lego figure of Norman on my bedside table and grabbed it. He insisted on him taking the one of me and me taking the one of him, which I happily did. Maybe I should invite him to Gus's wedding as my date? I mean we are kinda close and there is no denying that I like him, but what if he says no? What if I let him in as more and he crushes me?

I set the Lego figure back on the table and sat up Indian style, pulling out my laptop. I opened up my browser and typed in Netflix, May had gotten me hooked on Breaking Bad and now I watched it a ton. It took ten years for my stupid computer to load on this website, but it eventually did. Gus and I shared a Netflix account since you had to pay for it, so I laughed at the movies he was recently watching. Some were hardcore action movies and others were romantic comedies, probably Veronica's doing.

I was about to type Breaking Bad in the search bar, but one of Gus's recently watched movies caught my eye. That looks like Norman. I giggled at my thought, but thought I'd humor myself by seeing who the actor was that looked like him. While it was taking ten more years to load, I grabbed my water bottle and unscrewed the cap while the loading screen continued.

When the screen finally loaded I literally choked on my water when I saw the bigger picture. It fucking looked a shit ton like Norman! I coughed trying to get my breathing back under control from the water going down the wrong pipe and then looked back to the screen. It must be his secret twin or something.. "There's no fucking way." I mumbled and scrolled down, looking at the actors. "What the FUCK?!" I shouted to myself when I saw Norman Reedus listed.

I squeezed my eyes tight, then opened them again, thinking I was seeing things, but his name never left. "What the fuck..." I whispered as I clicked on his name, being linked to a new page full of shows and movies he's been on that's on Netflix.

I quickly opened a new tab and googled his name, only to receive a billion results and a Wikipedia page on him. What kind of joke was this? Someone was pranking me right? How could I have not noticed he was famous, otherwise?

I opened a few of the links, astonished by what I found. I found a link to a tumblr tag under his name and I quickly clicked on it. I was impatiently shaking while it loaded, but my jaw dropped when I scrolled down under his tag. He was fucking famous. As in really famous.

There were pictures of him as different characters from different shows and movies along with pictures from photo shots. I couldn't deny that he looked absolutely fucking gorgeous, but I felt my self shrink at all the fan girls. Some loved him and when I looked at their pictures I saw that they were gorgeous also. I continued shrink when I saw multiple pictures of him with girls and they were hugging tightly, looking like they were having a great time and some where he was kissing them on the cheek. Possibly other actresses?
I saw a link to his twitter page and I didn't care that I was being a stalker. "Fuck." I mumbled when I saw how many followers he had. He even had the blue verification symbol! I scrolled through his tweets that were just him being normal Norman, but one caught my eye.

@wwwbigbaldhead: "Belle. whatababe. x"

There was a picture attached and it was of me playfully pretending to lick the little Lego figure of him. I scrolled down to see some of the replies and apparently this wasn't the first tweet about me. I didn't mind that he was tweeting about me, I just minded some of the replies. Sure some of them were nice and made me feel good, like when random people said I was pretty or that they hoped Norman was happy, but others...

"Is that his new girlfriend?? NORMAN IS MINE!"

"She's ugly. Norman can do better;)"

"What happened to his other girlfriend? Isn't he still with her?"

"TEAM EMILY KINNEY AND NORMAN!! Bethyl!"

"Put your tongue back in your mouth, slut."

"She's probably just in it for the fame and money. Stupid bitch, I would LOVE to have Norman."

I slammed the laptop closed and jumped off the bed, starting to pace. There were so many damn emotions going through my head. How did I not know? Why didn't he tell me? I was so pissed at him for not telling me, but then again it wasn't really THAT big of a deal, he would still be Norman to me. But, why wouldn't he at least tell me?

I also felt jealous at the beautiful girls he had taken pictures with that he must have acted with. Why would he chose me over them? He had so many people that loved him and he is still with me who friend-zoned him?... Maybe he friend-zoned me, too.... Maybe I shouldn't be jealous right now. Maybe I didn't have a reason to be....

And his mean ass fans weren't making me feel any better.

I ran over to my phone and called the first number on my speed dial. "Gus!"

"Belle? Whats up?" He answered.

"You're not busy tonight are you?"

"No, what's goin on?" He seemed to sense the overflow of emotions in my voice.

"I need to get fucking wasted. McSorley's tonight." McSorley's was my favorite Irish bar here and my favorite New York drinking buddies are always down there.

"What happened?"

"Long story. I'll tell you tonight if you come."

"Alright, I'll stop by after I close up shop, wh-."

"Thank you! Bye." I hung up the phone before he could ask anymore questions and ran into the bathroom to shower. Letting a few angry and upset tears fall.

After taking the longest shower of my life to waste time, I got out and sat on my bed, still dripping and wrapped in a towel. I just looked at the Norman Lego figure for a while, not knowing what I was supposed to feel. Was it even fair to feel jealous or hurt?

A Sonic Youth song started playing on my phone and I knew that Norman was calling me because that was his ring tone. I decided to ignore it, not knowing exactly what I would say, but when it started to ring again, I started tapping my foot anxiously and gave up with an agitated groan and grabbed it, sliding the screen to answer it. "Yeah?" I snapped, sounding a little harsher than I would have liked.

"Uh, hey, Belle. It's Norman. Gus just called me-"

"Gus called you?"

"Yeah, he wanted to know if I was with you, said you were freaking out."

"I'm not freaking out!" That was the most unconvincing thing I had ever said.

"You sure? Is everything alright?"

"Just fine."

"Babe..."

"It's fine, Norman. Just tired."

"Okay. Wana get some take out tonight?"

"I have plans." I grumbled into the phone, even though I would have loved to just stay in and eat take out with him. "Sorry, I'll text you later. Bye." I hung up and immediately felt bad for being so cold and lying, but I just had too much in my head right now. Too much for my anxiety and hurt to take. I needed to get drunk. Wasted.

*

I stopped in the mirror before exiting my room, looking at my choice of outfit. I had on a black lace, tank top/blouse and a pair of light blue skinny jeans. The running was doing my body wonders.

I shut off my lights and closed my door before pocketing my phone and walking down the hall. I stopped when I spotted the picture frame in the living room and with out thinking I went over and picked it up. It was a picture of me and Cam, I was kissing his cheek while he made a playfully disgusted face. The frame next to it on the table was one of me, Sofie, and Boom while I was teaching them to fish and they were completely disgusted by putting the live worm on the hook. I missed them so much. Especially Cam, but there was no plane ticket that could take me to go visit him.

A knock on my door made me snap out of my depressing thoughts and I sighed in relief when I opened it and saw Gus standing there. Time to get wasted. I wrapped my arms around him for a hug, needing my best friend. "Ready for some much needed Belle and Gus friend time?" He asked me and we broke away from the hug.

I looked back at the pictures on my table quickly, then turned back to face Gus. "Yes."

I threw on my jacket and we walked out of my apartment building, passing Karen on the way. We both flipped her off and then made our way outside with out saying a word to her, neither of us wanted to start something tonight. "So, trouble in paradise?" Gus asked, looking down at me.

"Norman's famous." I blurted out and Gus just chuckled at me.

"Well yeah. Wait, did you not know?" He raised his eyebrows.

"No. I didn't know and Norman never told me. I mean it really wouldn't have been a big deal if he did tell me, but he didn't. And he's friends with a lot of really pretty and famous girls. Also, his fans hate me and I'm falling for him, but were stuck in a friend-zone that I'm too fucking scared to get out of." I rambled on, not being able to keep it back from Gus.

"Shit girl, you need a drink." He draped his arm around my far shoulder as we neared the bar. "But, Belle, you need to stop being so scared. He's not Eric. Not everyone is gona hurt you."

"I still wana get drunk."

"Not a problem." He chuckled and we entered McSorley's. It was your typical Irish pub, but in the back was the wooden bar filled up with people drinking and laughing. The bartender caught sight of us and his face lit up. "GUS AND BELLE, no fucking way!" The guys at the bar all turned around and saw us. "AYYEEE!" They cheered and we both laughed. It was like a small piece of home here. Some of them were your typical chubby drinkers, others were older and more Irish, and some were more my age and handsome. Only a couple of them had girls in their laps or on their hips and that was normal, most of the girls here weren't "cool enough" as they said. A few guys got up and gave Gus big manly hugs and then bowed playfully in front of me. "Me lady." I laughed at them. "I fucking missed you guys!" I told them and then cheered again.

"Were ya been?" George, one of my big ass drinking buddies that looked more Irish than he is, asked.

"Been busy as hell with the store, but we figured we could us a drink." Gus responded.

"Not just a drink," I shook my head. "I'm here to get WASTED." They all cheered again and pulled us over to the bar. I hopped up onto one of the bar stools and Rock, the bartender, slid me a drink. I'm not sure how he got the nickname, I think it had something to do with one time he got drunk and dry humped a rock or something. "I'm gona get you so drunk that I knock that accent right outta ya!" One of my buddies called over to me, making me roll me eyes and down my drink.

I looked over and saw Gus was fitting in right away again with his old buddies, making me roll my eyes again at how stupid they looked, chugging drinks.

I spent what felt like hours drinking away, trying not to think of what a shit person I felt like and pushed everything aside, trying to enjoy the time with my old friends again. But, I was struggling. I wanted Norman to be here to hang out with. I had the best time with him. "Will ya sing for us, Belleeee?" Sam, another friend, slurred out. Apparently I had a good singing voice that they loved to hear, especially when I was drunk and would put on funny performances with them. Sam started to bat his eyes at me and lean so he was showing off his chest. He had always been handsome, but just because he was attracted to me doesn't mean I'm attracted to him.

"Ye can keep battin' ya eyes all ya want, doens't mean I'll sing for ya, pretty boy." I stumbled out, causing him to chuckle along with the loud drunken laughs of the others.

"Aw come on, Belle. Sing for us!" George whined.
I rolled my eyes and hopped up on the bar, not caring that there was a small stage in the back. Rock put on some music and I smiled when the Beatles came on. I didn't sing too well because I was too drunk to get most of the words out, but I still put on a drunken show for them and was secretly enjoying myself a little. When the end of the song came I did a small dance and shook my ass, that received a few whistles and more drunken cheers.
I laughed as I jumped down from the bar and downed another drink. I shrieked when I felt a hand hit my ass and I turned around to see Sam standing there with a smirk. "Sammy! Hands off!"
He just chuckled and put his hands up in the air, but gave me a wink before turning away. I had known Sammy for the longest out of everyone and he would occasionally hit on me, but I was too good of friends with him to allow that.
More drinks and drunken laughs and stories were told for the next few hours and they were right, they had knocked the accent right out of me.

The bar started to die down and not wanting to crash here, Gus and I decided we would take our treacherous walk home now. After drunkenly yelling goodbyes, we gripped onto each other for dear life, trying not to fall, and started our walk back.

We received quite a few bad stares as we stumbled up to our apartments, but they only made us giggle. Gus made sure I got to my apartment, then he gave me a lazy hug goodbye and went up to find Victoria.

*

Even the sound of flushing the toilet made my head pound even harder right now. I fell back on my ass and leaned my sweaty head against the wall after emptying out my stomach for what seemed like the 100th time. Normally I can hold my alcohol down fine, but this hangover was killing me. I couldn't even remember last night after getting at the bar, but I didn't have any bag gut feelings, so I know I didn't do anything bad.
This hangover would pass, and I'm glad it was just a hangover and not the flu or something, because when I get sick, I really get sick. Ever since the shark attack, my immune system plummeted, either from some drugs they gave me to keep me alive, or just the crucial injuries of the attack.

I groaned and crawled over to the sink, holding onto the counter to lift myself up. I brushed my teeth as thoroughly as I could to get the disgusting taste out of it and then soaked a wash rag in hot water.

I dragged my feet into the living room, wincing every time the bright sun caught my eye, and fell onto the couch. I put the rag over my forehead and sighed at how good it felt. Gus and I decided we were just gona keep the store closed to day because we were both too drunk to work and it was Sunday anyways, so it wasn't that big of a deal. We also decided we were going to start hiring more employees so we didn't have to work such long ass shifts everyday. I was a little hesitant on the idea because walking in on Eric fucking one of my employee's wasn't something that made me jump to higher new ones. Especially female ones, but I agreed, knowing it would take some stress off and I could go see my family sooner.

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, trying to maybe fall back asleep, but I was interrupted by a knocking on my door. I groaned at the noise and wished it to go away, but it didn't. I rolled off the couch and stumbled to stand up and make my way to the door. "Can you stop with the fucking knocking." I groaned and opened it.

"Norman." I mumbled, great.

"Jesus babe, are you okay?"

I probably looked a little disgusting, but like hell did I care right now. "Just hungover. Now is there something you want?" I growled, not knowing why I was being so mean, probably because of my headache.

"You haven't been answering your phone since yesterday," he fidgeted with his hands.

"I told you I had plans." I growled.

"Why are you pushing me away again, Belle?" He stepped closer.

"Why didn't you tell me you were famous, Norman?" I mocked him and he stopped in his tracks, not coming closer anymore. "Did you want me to fucking embarrass myself? Did you think it would make me see you differently? Or were you just waiting to get in my pants so then you could leave?" I snapped at him, seeming to strike a cord with my last question.

"I didn't say anything because I didn't think it was that important and I didn't want you pushing me away! And I guess I was right that you would because your doing it right fucking now." He growled.

"I'm not pushing you away cause your famous. I don't give a fuck that your famous, honestly I'm happy for you, but I don't want to open my computer to find another reason to doubt you or myself! I don't want to see all of these pretty girls you've fucked and I definitely don't want to become one of them!" That was a small lie...

"God Belle!" He ran his hands through his hair. "I'm not here to just fuck you and leave! Do you think I'm that type of asshole? I don't know what the hell you've been through before, but you need to get over it because I'm not going to just fuck you over! I'm here because I like you! I more than like you, Belle!"

"Just go!" I yelled, making him look at me puzzled. I felt tears brim my eyes. I was begging myself not to do this. I was begging myself just to breathe and let Norman in, to stop being weird. "Can you just go, Norman?" He continued to stand there with a set, but shocked look on his face. "GO NOW. You have your chance!"

"I DON'T WANT THAT FUCKING CHANCE!" He yelled back at me, a vein in his neck popping out, making me flinch.

"Please, just go." A tear was threatening to escape my eye. Show no weakness, right?

"What are you so fucking afraid of Belle?!" He started yelling again, but not as loudly.

"I'm afraid that you'll end up like Eric, or my brother, or my fucking dad!!" I spit out, but remembered how he didn't know their stories. His expression seemed to soften when he noticed I was close to tears and he yet again tried to step forward. "Belle.." He tried reaching out to me, but I stepped back and took a deep breath in. "I-I can't." I whispered.

"Babe...'

"Go! I don't want you here." I snapped, ignoring how much I was begging myself to stop this.

"That's bowl shit!"

I pointed to the door. "GO! And don't fucking come back!" I yelled desperately, and he must have seen something in my eyes or just had enough of me because he cursed under his breath and then walked out the door, slamming it behind him. Good, he needed to hate me.

The tears that were threatening to spill, overflowed and ran freely down my face. My head was pounding 10 times worse and all I wanted to do was collapse, so I did. The deed was done, Norman had left. I was some fucked up girl that already seemed to get his fans to hate me and I'm sure he would chose one of those pretty actresses over me. It made my heart break, but it was better that he left now than later when I got more attached to him.

I slammed my fist on the ground. My fears had gotten ahold of me once again. I let them control me and made my first sliver of fucking happiness leave. More tears fell and I started to wheeze through my light sobs. I wanted Cam. I wanted my brother. I wanted my family. But, I also wanted Norman. Because I think I fell harder than I thought for him. I had already gotten too attached...