You Are My Light

Castiel liked lights. Lava lamps, Christmas bulbs, fiber optic decorations, you name it- they fascinated him. He would sit for hours, just intently staring at them, riveted. Not many things interested the man; least of all, people. He had long since concluded that all people were the same- horrid, detestable creatures that only wanted such luxuries as sex, money, fame…nothing worthwhile. Castiel was…peculiar. That was how most people described him, although not many people actually knew him, well, not really. Not one single person had taken the time to get to know the wonders of his brilliant mind…he was “too weird”. No one had stuck around long enough to get past the monotone, the blank stares, the disinterest he seemed to have. Not even his own family had cared enough to get to that point. No, instead they stuck him in here- a mental hospital. Castiel was a selective mute; he never spoke. Not since he was fifteen had he uttered a word to anyone other than the occasional mumble to himself. He was now a young man of just twenty years old, with no life beyond these white walls that had been his home for a little over a year. Oddly enough, he was considerably well-liked here- he was quiet, he never made a fuss, and he was easy to get along with, since he never really did much of anything. One orderly in particular, Anna, the Monday-Wednesday-Friday ‘nurse’, so to speak, had taken the most interest in him. She was a pretty young girl with red hair and kind hazel eyes. She ensured that Castiel got his own private room, and she was the one who had bought the object he was looking at now.

His attention snapped back to it, ah, it was so lovely. It was a ball that held spinning fiber optic threads. Anna was the first one to figure out that Castiel was fascinated by colorful objects. It started when he reached out to touch her bright red lanyard, on an impulse, and only spiraled from there. Anna was the only one Castiel would touch and the only one he let touch him. His blue eyes squinted intently on the spinning object, watching with fascination as it threw lines of light across the dark room, the only color in the white hospital. He thought back to his birthday, when Anna had brought him a red balloon. It had no string since that was considered a danger to himself, but he loved it all the same. He played with it for hours, bouncing it in the air on his fingertips. That night he had slept with it in his bed, next to him.

When he woke up the next morning, he saw that the balloon had popped. Anna came in to find him clutching the deflated thing in his hands, with tears in his big blue eyes. Later that day, she had come into his room with a box. The box contained the fiber optic light he was looking at now.
Someone knocked on Castiel’s door. He ignored it, instead tangling his fingers through the color-changing threads. Another orderly, Rufus, opened his door. “Castiel….you have a visitor.” Rufus sounded shocked, but not half as shocked as Castiel felt. Not once, never, had he gotten a visitor that wasn’t another patient or someone who worked here. It was enough to make him turn away from his beloved light, and look at the stranger who entered his room. He was a tall man, who looked to be rugged and muscular. In other words, nothing of interest to Castiel. He went back to his light, ignoring the stranger that stood by his bedside. “Uh, hi, Castiel. My name is Dean.” The man -Dean- waited for a response. “Oh, right, they told me you don’t talk…listen, I have some very important things to tell you. I came here because..because you’re in danger.” Dean waited in silence again, hoping to elicit a response from me. “Look dude, I understand you’re looking at your light thingy, and it’s cool, it really is, but I feel weird talking to you when you’re turned around..so could you..?” Castiel just wanted this strange man to leave him alone, and so he reluctantly tore his eyes away from the light. He flicked on the lightswitch next to his bed, lighting up the room. He unplugged his beloved color light to avoid distraction. And then, he turned around.

Castiel was glad he did turn because he saw something he didn’t notice before. Dean’s eyes, their color….they fascinated Castiel. He jumped up, abandoning all his rules, grabbing the side of Dean’s face. He leaned in closely, studying his eyes, peering right into them. Dean looked shocked at first, his posture stiffening and his eyes widening in alarm. But when he realized Castiel was not going to hurt him, he stared right back.

Castiel couldn’t stop looking at Dean’s eyes, the way they held so many colors at once. They were a clear green flecked with gold, fringed with dark lashes and surrounded by laugh lines. The two were now perched on Castiel’s bed, with Castiel only half listening to what the other man was saying. His big green eyes were too distracting for him to focus on words. “I’m called a hunter…I hunt things, Castiel. Things, not animals. Those things that your parents told you were just made up ? Yeah, those are real…It’s all real, and my brother and I, we hunt them down, you know ? Well listen man –Castiel, you’re in danger. There’s demons that want you dead…we don’t know why yet, but we’re going to figure it out and save you, okay ? But I need to bust you out of here…” Dean looked at the smaller man, at his thin frame sitting cross-legged like a child, and then back up at his crystal blue eyes, trying to determine if he understood him. Castiel’s head cocked, and he nodded ever so slightly. He had no reason NOT to trust this man, and almost nothing to keep him here…one day he would come back for Anna, but for now, he needed to get back into the world.

“Okay, I’m going to come to your window at midnight, two hours after lights out. I’m going to knock underneath the window, three times. DO NOT open it unless you hear THREE knocks, understand ?” Castiel nodded again lightly, although he didn’t understand what Dean meant by “open the window”. Surely he had noticed the bars over the window ? Dean left shortly after running through the plan, and Castiel went back to watching his light.

They had told him that Castiel was different, but…wow. Dean had almost lost his cool when he suddenly jumped up in his face, but something in the troubled man’s pure blue eyes calmed him. When Dean left his room, they told him that he never touched anyone, and that he never even registered that he heard them. Dean began to question what made him so special….how did he break through to him ? All he knows is, the kid looked happy when he was staring at that color-changing thingy…so Dean went out and bought him a present.