Here Comes the Sun

I knew something was up when Mom came home with tears in her eyes. She never had tears in her eyes.

Ever.

When Dad left her after I was born, she didn't cry. When she had to have heart surgery two years ago, she didn't cry. When her aunt died last month, she didn't cry. When she wasn't able to pay the rent and we almost got kicked out of our house, she didn't cry.

I've never seen Mom cry in my entire life. And it has been hard at times. Really hard. I was halfway convinced that she was born without tear ducts.

So why cry now? Maybe she just got something in her eye on the walk home. Yeah, that's it. Just a piece of floating dust. Nothing to go crazy about.

But then I heard the sniffling. I was making a sandwich in the kitchen, so I could clearly hear Mom from the doorway only three steps away.

And she was definitely sniffling.

"Calm down, Alana, it's cold outside. Probably just a runny nose or something" I muttered to myself, spreading peanut butter onto some toast.

"What was that, honey?" Mom asked softy. Her voice was a little raspy, alarming compared to her usual voice. It was as smooth, warm, and as comforting as a cup of hot cocoa. Wow, that sounded good right now.

I looked straight at her and furrowed my eyebrows. Something about her just seemed... off.

"Nothing." I replied after a pause, continuing to spread PB on the toast. Asking in the most casual voice I could, I said,

"Hey, Mom, you feeling okay? Sounding a bit rough this morning." I could see her shoulders sag a bit more than they already were. Wow. Mom's posture was usually so perfect.

She sighed heavily and ran a hand through her blonde hair. It was greying a little and getting thinner with each day. A sign of clear distress.

"Alana, you and I need to talk." Her voice was tired and strained. "Something has come up and... We have some serious decisions to make."

I looked up, alarmed, and put my knife down. This sounded serious. I grabbed a wine glass and popped open a new bottle of her favorite, letting it gush into the crystal glass.

I softly pulled Mom's coat off of her and hung it up. I guided my hand around her waist and sat her down on the couch next to me, handing her the wine.

"Sip, then speak." I demanded. She obeyed.

I watched intently as Mom swallowed her sip of wine and prepared to talk. She looked unhappy. I was anxious to know what was wrong.

"I got laid off." She said simply. I was shocked.

"B-But... But you were their best employee!" I argued.
"You worked there for ten years! How can they just fire you like that?"

I saw it with my own eyes. I saw a tear slip down Genevieve Leah Hairrison-Ellis's face and down her neck. I have witnessed the impossible.

"Alana, the company is going out of business anyway. I don't know why they made the choices they did, and it isn't in my power to reverse-" Her voice broke and she lost it, burying her face in her hands.

I wrapped my arms around her shaking form, making what I hoped were calming sounds.

"Sh-sh-shh... It'll be okay. We will get through this together. It's okay. Don't worry..." I rocked her back and fourth.

She finally mopped the tears from her face and straightened up.

"I'm sorry. I'm a mess. I promised myself I would stay strong for you..." I hugged her closer to my chest.

I had always visioned my mother as the strongest woman in the world. Able to withstand one hardship after another. But now I was the stronger one, reassuring her with my comfort. I tried to stay calm on the outside, but hundreds of questions were colliding against each other in my head, begging to be asked.

I pulled away from Mom's shaky figure and held her at my arm's length. I looked her straight in the eye.

"Mom, listen. Stop crying. We will get through this. We will. Together. Us. I will do all I can to support us, and you will, too. We are not giving up that easily. Do you hear me? We will figure this out." I said firmly. She nodded and weakly wiped her nose with a handkerchief.

I pressed the wine into Mom's cold palm and rushed off into the kitchen. We had to do something. The rent for the house is already paid off, Mom made sure of that yesterday. But that meant we had next to no money until Mom would get her next paycheck. Which.. now she was not going to get at all. I needed to get a job. But I could only work part time, because of school. It would take weeks for Mom to find a well paying job... maybe months.

Ideas swirled around in my head as I leaned against the wall. We needed to move. Move somewhere the rent wasn't so high. And get Mom a job. And me, I needed a job, too. Maybe Starbucks. Yeah, Starbucks would be fun... Or maybe the O'neill Surf Shop. I heard they let you get off work on good surfing days. That would be nice.

I sighed and walked back into the living room where Mom was curled up on the couch.

"I'll be back soon. Take care of yourself. There is some toast in the kitchen if you get hungry." I said softly to her.

"Where are you going?" She mumbled quietly.

"Surfing."