Silent Poison

Autum could tell the he'd just gotten out of bed. His hair held a beautiful messiness to it underneath his grey hood, and he didn't bother with shoes.
His hands were shoved into his pockets.

He had literally just gotten up. His eyes were still groggy and tired.
Feeling her heart racing in her chest, she was across the room in two steps, putting her arms around his waist, letting his heat envelope her in something that felt safe.
With her eyes closed tightly, his arms enclosed around her and every knot inside untied. Against her ear, his heart beat radically.

She gulped scared that he was only pitying her like a child
Her breath stuttered at feeling his thumb stroke her cheek bone encouraging her to tilt her head up. She obliged willingly, and his lips met hers like smooth silk, stealing her breath like he always did.
If he was playing her now, she'd let him.

She didn't have the energy to fight him, everybody else, and herself. It was tiresome, and she wanted to give up, but she didn't mind this, its enticing allure making her feel like she'd be okay because he wasn't going to let go
He parted her lips skillfully with his tongue intensifying the kiss, making her stomach ache. His hands moved up her waist a little underneath her top.

She felt like she was burning up. His lips moved down her neck. She sighed contentedly, weaving her fingers through his hair underneath his hood. This is what it felt like, this intense ache. This is what it was like to feel wanted, to feel loved.
"Autumn..."

"Autumn." His voice was firm, almost cold, but she could hear the hint of worry as he yanked her hard out of her hard from her daydream. She blinked, staring at him blankly.

"What happened?"

"I was just getting caught up with my three bestest friends." She feigned perkiness.

"Oh shit."

"Don't worry about it. They're gone. You can leave."

And like that, he did, but not without hesitating first, his hand on the door knob. He looked back at her. He wanted to argue. She could see it clear as day.

She turned away and settled at her vanity. The door closed quietly with a subtle click. She rubbed her face. It throbbed where she was hit. They stared at her as she sat there alone.

"Rumor has it, Blake broke up with her." Ryan said.

Jessica watched Autumn use her fork to poke at her food. She wasn't touching it.

In fact, she pushed her tray away and just stared out the window void of any emotion. Allie sighed heavily.

"Leave her be. She's been through enough." She murmured, shifting a piece of ham around her plate with her fork.

"Whatever. All I know is that she's the bitch everyone said she was."

Chris jaw clenched tightly but he stayed quiet and continued to write in his notebook. The lead of his pencil broke.´

He clicked the mechanical pencil and started writing again.

"You don't know anything." Allie said coldly. Everyone stared at her confounded by her attitude.

"Do you even know what happened after she dumped Chris? People cornered her and beat her." Devin snorted.

Kylie hit him hard in the arm.

"What!? I'm sorry if I don't believe it. Nobody's ever seen any marks except for her fat lip today."

"That's because the bruises weren't on her face. People at this school don't like her and are starting to hurt her, and she's not doing anything.

She's giving them their nice grades, test scores, all of that crap, but she isn't getting back at them when they come after her. She's letting them hurt her. "

"She's right." Ricky spoke up.

"When I came across her this morning in the hands of those girls she wasn't struggling to get free. She was going to let them kick her ass."

"Something's wrong."

"Why do we care?"Allie asked.

"Because she's been like this since she dumped Chris. Would the person who dumped somebody else really be like that? She's...I don't know. Something's wrong with this."

Chris stared at her now. She seemed so void of emotion as she listened to her iPod. She wore her usual except that her hair was down to hide her face. It was as if she wasn't in her body. They hadn't talked since the day it all ended. This morning wasn't really talking. She shoved him before he could really say anything.

Angelo had woken him from a dead sleep. Throwing on a hoodie and jeans, he had hurried to make sure she was okay. He had only told him that she had been ganged up on. He didn't say that she looked dead. That her eyes had dark circles under them and her hair had grown dull. She didn't look like herself, didn't act like herself. None of the girl he knew was there.

Allie left the dining hall upset. Ryan followed in tow.

"I wasn't believing it, but it's like she's quit. Whoever wants to take her down will, and she has a lot of enemies." Balz said.

"She's going to end up dead or something."

Chris listened faintly and watched as Autumn went to reach for her messenger bag, for her laptop more than likely then stopped and let her hand drop. She continued to look out the window. Near the end of the lunch period, she got up and threw her untouched lunch away. A few students watched shooting daggers at her back.

Not thinking, Chris got up and raced after her needing to know why she was like this, what the reason was. If TJ had anything to do with how she was now, hurting her, he was a dead man. Following after her, she didn't even have the feistiness in her walk like she used to. She walked slowly.

"Auty."

She kept walking. At least she still had her ignorance. Chris grabbed her by the arm making her stop. She didn't turn around to face him.

He'd already given her a pitiful look today. She couldn't handle another one. Life was hellish enough.

"Are you okay? I heard about Blake dumping you. I'm sorry."

"I dumped him. I'm just helping his popularity, and helping me by not getting my ass kicked even worse."

"So it's true."

"Yup. A fake relationship got my ass kicked quite a few times."

"Fake..."Autumn slipped from his light hold and went on walking down the hall. Chris followed her back to her room asking why she never said anything.

A grave feeling came over him filling him with anger at himself. He wouldn't have let her get hurt if he had known. Nobody would've had a chance to touch her.

But, Autumn was Autumn.

"It wasn't your business. You did what you were told. You can leave me alone now. You got what you wanted from me." She said quietly, setting her messenger bag by her desk.

Chris stopped at the door, opening it to leave. I wish I could fix you, be what you want, what you need. Just tell her…she should know now since it's too late.

"That fake relationship was real to me from the day it started. I tried to fight it, tried to tell myself continuously that there could be nothing there because you're just another girl. Somebody I could bed and not care about. But I couldn't help how much I've always wanted you since freshman year. I'd watch you and how you were, never letting anyone get the best of you…I wanted the best of you. Even if you thought it wasn't real, it was real for me. I'm glad I had the best of you for a little while."

The door closed with his exit and instantly Autumn's legs gave out from beneath her leaving there sobbing in the middle of the room.

Her chest hurt terribly as her breaths stuttered in and out. Officially knowing what had happened between them, that it wasn't as fake as it seemed didn't make the agonizing emotions fade. They increased tenfold leaving her feeling as if she were dying. And though she wasn't dying, she wished she was. It was real. She could finally admit it. It was real, and she hated herself for being terrified.

"Why are we here?" Allie huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I came to check on her. I don't know what you're doing here." Kylie said, knocking on Autumn's door.

"I came so I didn't to lose a friend." Kylie said.

Allie knew she didn't mean Autumn. She knocked on the door again after receiving no answer.

"Maybe she isn't here." Allie said and started to turn and walk away.

"I don't think so." Kylie said and grabbed the door knob. It was unlocked.Walking in, both girls stopped dead. Autumn sat on the floor in shorts and a tank top, sheets of music around her and her little brown book beside her. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail.

Messy tendrils hung from it, and the scrape on her forehead was very visible. Her guitar leaned against the wall behind her and she had her purple guitar pick between her teeth as she was leaning over, writing music that had come to her an hour after her sobbing. Her eyes were still bloodshot.

"What do you want?" she snapped having pulled the guitar pick from her mouth.

"You didn't answer." Kylie said.

"I'm busy."

"Right. We'll go then." Kylie said, giving Allie a look.

"No we won't. We thought that you could use a few friends right now. You haven't been doing well and everyone can see it."

"Why do I care about what other people see?" Autumn asked.

"Because you don't like anybody seeing your emotions and everybody can see them now." Kylie said at seeing Allie unable to come up with an answer.

Autumn stopped writing and looked up at the girls with the most sarcastic look she could muster. Autumn sat down on the end of the bed. Kate remained where she was. Autumn and her stared at each other. The tension between the two grew thick quickly.

"Really?" Autumn said as if amused even though she wasn't.

"I learned a few things about you just like you learned a few things from us."

"Hm."Autumn continued to write.

"What are you writing?"

"A song." Auutmn replied with a 'duh' tone.

Allie rolled her eyes.

"I see that. What's it called?"

"I don't know. I usually don't title a song until it's finished."

"You don't care that we stay do you?" Kylie asked.

Autumn looked at the both of them. She honestly didn't. granted she tried getting them to leave, but they didn't. She wondered if she was losing her bitchy touch, but having them here was comforting. And, maybe they could keep her from crying again.

Her eyes were sore from earlier and probably still blotchy.

"I don't mind at all." She said keeping her head down.

Allie moved around Autumn and sat at her desk.

"Are you okay?" Kylie asked after a short silence.

Autumn's breath stuttered. Okay? She wasn't okay. That was something she hoped to reach one day. She shook her head afraid to speak in case her voice would quiver like it did when she cried. She blinked away tears trying to form. Her hand quivered as she finished the chorus.

Chris, the one guy nearly every girl had told her how the only girl he wanted, the one he could actually care about was her. Autumn dropped her pencil and ran her fingers through her messy long hair. The conversation Kylie and Allie had settled into stopped.

"What's up?" Allie asked sensing her distress.

"I have to tell you guys something."

The music in her head was getting jumbled with everything dealing with Chris making her thought process more complicated. She scratched her temple. Where do I start?

"What?"

"You can't tell anyone."

Autumn told them everything, and it was easier than talking to a therapist. They didn't say anything possibly because they were too stunned, but Autumn wasn't entirely sure. There were no words, now judgment, no threats. Just raised eyebrows and jaws that hung open. It kind of made Autumn want to laugh.

"So you two were never dating?" Allie asked-

"Not really. I don't know. In the beginning, we weren't and then…I don't know. Today he told me something, and I—"

"Love him?"

Auutmn's silent cry answered the question. Kylie and Allie exchanged looks.

"I—I didn't want this. I didn't ask for this. I protect myself from stupid things like this and it's his fault! He did this! He hurt me! I hate him!" Autumn screamed, tears falling down her cheeks again.

Kylie and Allie stayed the night with her. They barely said anything, but in the end that didn't matter. Being there mattered. It meant that Autumn wasn't alone. When morning came they left Autumn to get ready for class.

Autumn debated about whether she wanted to go to class. She skipped her afternoon ones yesterday. She could do it again. Grabbing her black hoodie, she put it on and left her room for the mailbox. The linoleum was cold on her bare feet. Business was still going well. There were four envelopes in her mailbox. One of them was from one of the girls that had beat her not long after the 'break up. Those bruises faded, but every person who laid a hand on her hadn't faded from her head. There was a list.

She made her way back to her room, looking at the requests. It was too much too hope that she'd hear back from any of the colleges.
In an instant she was thrown against the wall, the mail in her hands flying and the breath knocked from her lungs.

"You little bitch. You got my sister expelled and since I consider you a harpy from hell I'm not worried about hitting you." Auutmn tried to yank free from her assailant, but he held her arm tighter making it feel as if she were getting pin pricked all over her arm. She held back the whimper that threatened to expose how scared she was. It was Vicky's brother and he was a weight lifter, but dumb, dumber than TJ. He stood four inches taller than her.

She looked up at him wide eyed. He was going to hit her. This time she could break something.

"Get the hell away from her."

Autumn tried looked past the weightlifter to see, but he was huge. Ricky walked towards them fast coming up alongside them. He was wearing his school uniform. He grabbed the guy and shoved him back. Blood rushed through her arm making it feel tingly. She rubbed it.

That's going to bruise.

"Stay away from her."

"Or what?" the weightlifter snarled.

"You can't protect her. There are a lot of people who want a go at her. Whatever's happened to her has made her weak…bitch"

Ricky stood in front of Autumn, guarding her. She stared blankly at the two young men. The weightlifter smirked then walked away. She wasn't sure what just happened only that she wasn't being killed from internal bleeding right now.

"Are you alright?"

"Uh yeah." she bent down and picked up her nail.

"Thanks."

"No problem. You're going to be in class today right?" he asked.

"I don't know."

He nodded only making their encounter even more awkward.

"He doesn't talk about you." he then said.

Autumn stared blankly at him. Oh…"But I can tell he wants to.

"Oh." Autumn stared down at the floor.

See you around."

For some reason he sounded like he meant it.

Autumn went into her room and stopped to replay what just happened in her head. Ricky Olson stuck up for her…he was the one who disliked her the most. First it was Allie, Kylie, and Kate and now him. Was this the part where everything got better?

She looked down at her mail then tossed onto her bed and went to her closet and pulled out her school uniform along with red heels and a black tank top. After dressing, she went to her small bathroom and put on her make-up and decided to leave her hair down instead of putting it up. The messy, voluptuous layers framed her face gracefully while also covering up her forehead. She nearly looked like her old self.

She went to all of her classes and though the whispers about her hadn't faded, she ignored them and focused on her school work. Her iPod came in handy and blocked out all the whispers too. That's what it was all about in the beginning. Getting through all of this meant getting the hell out of PA. Now more than ever she wanted out.

"You saw Autumn last night right?" Jessica whispered to Allie who sat across from her.

"No." Allie said sarcastically.

"I was only there and heard how she and Chris weren't even really dating. I can't believe she's letting people beat the hell out of her because of how she 'dumped' him. "

"There's something there."The librarian stared at the two girls skeptically. They both hunched down a little in their seats.

"Where?"

"Between Chris and Autumn. Think about it."

"I am, and we're not getting in the middle of it. Like any teenager, the two of them will move on. It's not the end of the world. We are not playing cupid."

"It's not just going to go away. It's going to torture them for months and maybe years.

"Allie, there's nothing we can do to help them. They're both hard headed, and ignorant. And strangely, that makes them perfect for each other."

"Then we think like Autumn. What would she do? You know this would be a piece of cake to her."

"She's not a matchmaker. She's a hacker. Everybody knows that."

"But she's smart and clever."

Jessica sighed and tapped her pencil against her book.

"Say, I agree that we should do something so that these two morons can work things out or at least talk. What would we do?"

"Get our hands on Autumn's song book." Jessica said, a conniving grin spreading across her face.