I Can Feel You in My Bones

I roll out of the bunk and stretch up, yawning. Those tiny fucking holes are not comfortable to sleep in but I am in no positon to complain. The bus isn’t moving so we must have arrived at wherever we’re supposed to be.

“Morning, Ivy,” greets Monte, as I step into the front lounge. “There’s coffee,” he adds, gesturing to the counter.

I smile at him and start pouring myself some coffee, still not completely awake.

I’ve been with the guys for a couple of days now, it still feels so surreal.

The band have offered to give me a ride to California to meet up with my brother. Their tour was heading there anyway and they had a spare bunk. They assured me it wasn’t a problem.

I’m so thankfully they took me in, I have no idea what I would have done and they have been so nice to me.

“What’s the plan for today?” I ask casually, sleep still coating my voice slightly.

“Show’s at eight, that’s really all I know,” says Monte, with a shrug.

He’ the only one out here, I think everyone else is still asleep. It’s only about nine AM, which I’m sure is closer to five in Rockstar time.

--
It’s difficult to feel clean when you’re living on a bus which a bunch of dudes but I do my best to freshen up before changing into some clean clothes and stepping out of the bus’s bathroom.

I wander into the back lounge, where Robert is sat staring intently at the TV screen as he plays his videogame. I sit down beside him.

“Whatcha’ playing?”

“Game,” he responds, not taking his eyes from the screen for even a split-second.

I smile, rolling my eyes and make myself comfortable on the couch to watch him play. I’ve got nothing better to do.

After a few minutes I hear a thud as someone gets out of their bunk, I hope it’s TJ.

I’ve always had a thing for TJ. It’s so weird actually being around him, I’ve been playing it cool but I’m secretly very afraid of doing something stupid in front of him. I mean it’s TJ Bell.

TJ’s been super cool though. In the few days I’ve been staying here we’ve talked one-on-one a handful of times, he’s a fun guy.

A few seconds pass and TJ appears in the doorframe, leaning against in casually. “Morning,” he greets groggily. I think he’s hung over.

“Just,” I reply with a smirk. Robert says nothing, completely engrossed in his game.

TJ drops down on the couch beside me, also watching the screen.

I feel my heart flutter but manage to keep it together. I’m so pathetic.

“What were you up to last night?” I ask.

TJ chuckles. “Who the fuck knows. It got a little crazy,” he admits.

I don’t get invited to the after parties. In this country you have to be twenty-one to drink, so the clubs won’t let me in. I get to stay on the bus.

“Morning,” yawns Craig as he joins us in the back lounge. He glances around the room for a moment before taking a seat on the other side of me.

“What are we doing today?” TJ asks him.

Craig shrugs. “Think there’s some press to do before the show. We’re not playing ‘til later than usual today,” he says.

“I’m hungover as shit,” states TJ, putting his head down in his hands.

“Aw, poor baby,” I mock.

“Sure. Laugh it up, hotshot,” returns TJ. “You can’t even get served.”

“Probably for the best, I’d drink you under the table,” I tell him, playfully.

TJ hum disbelievingly.

“It’s probably true, man,” counters Craig. “She’s Australian, they’re immune to the negative effects of alcohol,” he jokes.

“Can you lot do this somewhere else,” whines Robert, pausing his game. “I cannot focus with all this going on.”

“Sorry,” I apologize, as TJ and Craig just laugh at him.

--
My brother has been texting me again. He hasn’t outright said it yet but I know that he’s worried about me traveling with the band. I get where he’s coming from, it’s a group of strange men and he’s my big brother after all, but he has nothing to worry about. I’ll be at his place in a just a couple of weeks.

Craig comes out of the bathroom, pulling me out of my own head. He has changed and is seemly ready to go out and face the world.

“Are any of you comin’ with me?” he asks, looking around the front of the bus where Monte, Michael and TJ are all sat.

Monte sighs as he gets up, followed by a slightly more resistant Michael. TJ remains seated.

“The only place I’m going to sleep,” he tells Craig, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Whatever, man, I’ll see you later,” Craig tells him. “You too, Ivy,” he says, waving down the bus to me.

I wave back and the three of them leave together.

I decide to crawl back into my bunk, sliding the curtain closed behind me. It’s the only place I can get any peace, or privacy.

I respond to my brother’s mildly concerned messages before I start aimlessly browsing the internet. This bus is pretty decked out, the bunks all have cute little DVD players, but don’t have any DVDs with me; I didn’t exactly anticipate this.

I hear moment outside, presumably TJ heading to his bunk for that nap.

My curtain slides open, scaring me slightly, I jump.

“Sorry,” mumbles TJ. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Nah, it’s alright. What’s up?”

“Nothing,” he tells me, shaking his head. “You mind if I join you?”

I shrug and move to make room for him in the small space. “Any reason you can’t sleep on your own?” I question as TJ pulls himself in.

“It’s lonely all by myself,” he says light-heartedly, lying down right up against me, there isn’t really space from him not to.

“Whatever,” I mumble. I’m sure as fuck not going to complain.

I reposition my phone so it isn’t shining light in his face and he quickly drifts off. I feel his chest move against me as he breathes. He looks so cute.

I catch myself staring at him and quickly stop, turning my glaze back to my phone. I cannot be acting love-struck around TJ. There’s no denying that I have a crush on the guy, but I have to keep it together. I’m barely legal by American standards and I don’t want to freak him out.