I Can Feel You in My Bones

The sunlight, coming in through the slit in the blinds, is keeping me from falling back to sleep. I roll onto my back and look up at the white ceiling, biting the urge to look over at the bed.

I heard TJ stagger in around two and could smell the booze on him as he passed. I suspect he won’t be up for a good few hours.

Sitting up I stretch out, my back hurts from sleeping on this dodgy couch but I’ll live.

I can’t quite shake this unclean feeling, it’s in my head sure, but I think I’m going to take a shower anyway.

--
Showered and changed I stand at the mirror applying my makeup as slowly as possible. I don’t want to have to leave the safety of this bathroom.

I heard TJ get up about ten minutes ago and I’m not sure I’m ready to face him.

I finish my makeup and lean against the sink to type a quick message to my brother, he likes it when I check it and I will do anything to stay in here.

As usual Trevor responds almost immediately.

I really want to tell him about what happened with TJ, but I know it’ll just worry him so I’m not going to. I wish I had someone else to talk to.

There is a knock at the bathroom door. I look over at the closed door but say nothing.

“Ivy, open the door,” says TJ’s tired voice.

I don’t respond, staying still where I stand. TJ tries the door, which is locked, before knocking again.

“Let me in,” he says, I can hear he’s losing his patience. "I've gotta piss."

I gather up my things and open the door for TJ, moving past him without saying a word.

I know I’m just making it worse by making a big deal out of it but I’m honestly still pissed, and a little hurt. It really doesn’t help that I had a terrible night’s sleep on that fucking couch.

I very seriously consider leaving before TJ comes back out but before I can make my escape I hear the bathroom door open.

TJ stands in the doorway, looking over at me. “Do you want to talk?” he asks dryly.

I stare back at him, my jaw clenched, saying nothing.

“Fine, allow me. I’m sorry if I pissed you off,” he starts.

“That’s not how you phrase an apology,” I tell him bitterly. “Not if you mean, it at least.”

“Are you going to let me finish or no?” he asks, crossing him arms.

“No,” I return evenly. “I don’t think I can talk to you right now,” I tell him.

I know if I try to talk to him while I’m still angry we’re just going to fight, especially if he uses that tone of voice. I need to get out of here.

Before TJ can say anything further I leave the room. I have nowhere else to go so I make my way straight to Craig’s room.

I knock on the door and shift from foot to foot awkwardly. I hear movement inside the room and take a moment to try and get a hold of myself.

I really don’t want to cry right now.

The door opens and Craig smiles as he sees me. “Hey, Ivy. What’s up?” he says warmly.

“Hey, do you mind if I hang out here for a bit?” I ask him, unsurely.

“Yeah sure, I’ve been with Robert all morning. If someone doesn’t take my mind off it god know what I’ll do,” he says with a goofy smile.

“Hey!” shouts Robert in offence, from in the room.

Craig chuckles and moves aside to let me in. “You alright?"

I shrug, looking down at the floor. “I had a fight with TJ.”

“That sucks, I’m sorry,” Craig tells me. “You want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” I tell him plainly. I don’t want to make a scene.

“You sure? You can talk to me if you want,” he says, putting a comforting hand on my back. “And you can chill here as long as you want, it’s no problem.”

“Thanks,” I say, flashing him a small smile.

Craig returns the smile. “You and TJ will make up,” he assures me.