The Ocean's Love
Chapter 2
I have a weird sense of humor, but a good taste of music. At least, that’s how I see it. I’m listening to one of the most amazing songs ever right now. It’s called Forever and Always and it’s sang by Parachute. It’s about love, like most songs. It’s weird, because I have never been in “love”. I mean, having a crush on someone isn’t the same as being in love. To be honest, I have no idea when you’re in love, but that’s because I’m not smart enough for that.
Today’s Sunday and I feel like my whole weekend is ruined by hockey. I love hockey, but having 3 matches in 2 days, wherein you have to do your homework and be prepared for your brother’s birthday, is too much. I’ve had 5 matches in 9 days and it’s unbelievable how tired you can get of it. I wish my coach would be tired too so that he doesn’t want to plan another game too, but he doesn’t get tired of screaming to me and my teammates. I know he wants us to be better and be prepared for the competition – since these matches were just prepare matches – but I really get frustrated by him, because the only things he sees are the things I screw up, which aren’t very many things. If he goes on like that, I will think I’m not good enough for this team, even though I know that I’m one of the best players of the team. My friend’s dad said he thinks I’m the best and some other parents of friends or teammates say it too. It makes me feel great because it’s finally something I’m actually good at. I mean, I can’t sing, dance, paint, draw etcetera. Whenever I sing, this weird and stupid voice is coming out of my mouth and everyone feels like (s)he wants to die. It’s more like screaming than actually singing. Oh, and the dancing part... I was good at it, that’s what my dance teacher said – yes, I took dance lessons. I also took tennis lessons, but that didn’t work out, because I hated my tennis group and I hated to go to this very tiny town close to our town because we always went by cycle. Oh, I must say: that’s a thing I’m good at: cycling. Not as in races, but my legs are just extremely strong and I have a good condition. Those are two points you need to be good in it.
I finished my “Sunday” text today and today is Monday, so I’m sorry for being someone who sucks in everything. Today was a horrible day, because my body is full of abrasions and my muscles hurt like hell. It really feels like hell, because I can’t move properly. It’s like there are a few muscles not moving when I run or walk and it hurts a lot. My whole weekend was ruined by hockey, like I told you earlier this chapter, and that’s why I didn’t do some of my homework. I actually hate it to be behind, but I’m too tired to do it right now – oh God, yes, I know I’m lazy. I’m also kind of sick, because this weather makes me so cold and I get a stuffy nose of it which is horrible because I always breathe through my nose and now I have to breathe through my mouth which makes my mouth extremely dry. I seriously wonder how I can live on this planet with everything I make a point of, because I make a point of something ninety-nine percent of the time I actually live. It’s hard to be me, but it’s harder to live with me.
But about this stupid school day – which isn’t weird since it’s school –, I felt stupid because one of the guys, who actually has called me beautiful, was sick too, but I guess he was sicker than I was since he went home after the first period. His name is Johannes, which is a very old Dutch name, and I don’t know if I like him or if I just think that he’s cute, because that’s something real different. I do know that I have thought about him a lot when he was in England for three months, I really missed him and that’s weird because I don’t miss a guy very quickly, but he hugged me at the last party of school he went to that year: Christmas Ball and since then I guess I feel something for that boy, but like I said… I have no idea.
Today we have watched a very interesting movie about how the earth is made, but the man who was the narrator of it didn’t have a nice voice to listen to – you can listen to his voice by yourself, the film is called Making Of Earth, or something like that. I promise you I will tell you some other day. But with his incredibly slow and boring voice he told us: “Five billion years ago there was nothing in this universe except for the sun, rocks and gravity. The rocks got together by gravity and slowly formed a planet: our earth. That happened 4.8 billion years ago. It took three hundred million years to form the planet, but it was a toxic fireball. The planet Theia, which was as big as the planet Mars is right now, approached the fireball with a speed of 15 kilometers per second and finally hit it. Some rocks released and formed another ball: our moon” blah, blah, blah. It is incredibly weird to think that the world we live on has been a fireball first. And after that, 3.9 billion years ago, there was a meteor shower – that’s how Google Translate translates it – of twenty million years. I repeat: twenty million years. That’s insane! We watched the movie with geography and I’m not interested in that subject, but I am interested in how this planet has been created.
So that was today’s day and I know I told this many times: I hate it. I hate school.
I’m not really in the mood to write more, but I want to tell you one thing what actually changed my life in a positive way. It’s been eleven months since I had a surgery and the reason for that was having my meniscus of my left knee nearly split in two because there was a big tear in it which caused it. Before the surgery I have been coming to the physiotherapy twice a week, but nothing helped. Their diagnose was that my knee was irritated, but that it’d heal very quickly, but it didn’t. We were spending our fucking money for something which didn’t help at all. I wasn’t able to hockey my full hundred percent for two whole years and it killed me, it actually killed me. I wasn’t allowed to hockey indoor, which takes three months and that killed me even more. I was afraid I didn’t have the chance to go on with playing hockey and that I couldn’t sport at all anymore, after a few years, which made me cry very hard sometimes. I also wasn’t able to bow my knee for 45 degrees without help. With help I couldn’t even reach it to my butt. When we were in the hospital with a surgeon and a sport arts, the surgeon tried to help me reach my butt with my heel, but it hurt so extremely much that I started releasing a few tears. He immediately knew that it had to be my meniscus, but he wanted to be sure so we had to return to the hospital in two weeks to make an MRI-scan and yes, there was a huge tear in my meniscus. He told me not to hockey for the time between then and the surgery, so I went to see my team playing and when they saw me in normal clothes instead of the colors orange and brown – ugh, yes I know, ugly mixed colors – they all told me that they needed me. A few minutes before the match I was allowed to tell that I had to be operated and I started crying, because I love hockey so freaking much. I must say that I cry very fast, but most of the time I cry because I’m afraid of my father’s reaction or whenever I’m incredibly frustrated.
So after the surgery I wasn’t allowed to play hockey for a certain two months, but I had to go to another, but very good physiotherapist and I they said that I was able to hockey really fast and that one sentence made me so happy. I seriously smiled like a freak when I heard it. It was in the winter, so the indoor hockey had started again and I came to see it sometimes, because I loved watching my team playing hockey. We were very good, as good as my team is now – since I have a new team every year. We play a very high class – I’m sorry, but we call it class and I have no idea how to call it in English – and we might be able to go to a higher class. I’m happy to say that, because I will actually learn something of that higher class and I won’t be stuck in the sub top class. I just love to say that everything turned out to be not so bad and that I’m not injured anymore.
Today’s Sunday and I feel like my whole weekend is ruined by hockey. I love hockey, but having 3 matches in 2 days, wherein you have to do your homework and be prepared for your brother’s birthday, is too much. I’ve had 5 matches in 9 days and it’s unbelievable how tired you can get of it. I wish my coach would be tired too so that he doesn’t want to plan another game too, but he doesn’t get tired of screaming to me and my teammates. I know he wants us to be better and be prepared for the competition – since these matches were just prepare matches – but I really get frustrated by him, because the only things he sees are the things I screw up, which aren’t very many things. If he goes on like that, I will think I’m not good enough for this team, even though I know that I’m one of the best players of the team. My friend’s dad said he thinks I’m the best and some other parents of friends or teammates say it too. It makes me feel great because it’s finally something I’m actually good at. I mean, I can’t sing, dance, paint, draw etcetera. Whenever I sing, this weird and stupid voice is coming out of my mouth and everyone feels like (s)he wants to die. It’s more like screaming than actually singing. Oh, and the dancing part... I was good at it, that’s what my dance teacher said – yes, I took dance lessons. I also took tennis lessons, but that didn’t work out, because I hated my tennis group and I hated to go to this very tiny town close to our town because we always went by cycle. Oh, I must say: that’s a thing I’m good at: cycling. Not as in races, but my legs are just extremely strong and I have a good condition. Those are two points you need to be good in it.
I finished my “Sunday” text today and today is Monday, so I’m sorry for being someone who sucks in everything. Today was a horrible day, because my body is full of abrasions and my muscles hurt like hell. It really feels like hell, because I can’t move properly. It’s like there are a few muscles not moving when I run or walk and it hurts a lot. My whole weekend was ruined by hockey, like I told you earlier this chapter, and that’s why I didn’t do some of my homework. I actually hate it to be behind, but I’m too tired to do it right now – oh God, yes, I know I’m lazy. I’m also kind of sick, because this weather makes me so cold and I get a stuffy nose of it which is horrible because I always breathe through my nose and now I have to breathe through my mouth which makes my mouth extremely dry. I seriously wonder how I can live on this planet with everything I make a point of, because I make a point of something ninety-nine percent of the time I actually live. It’s hard to be me, but it’s harder to live with me.
But about this stupid school day – which isn’t weird since it’s school –, I felt stupid because one of the guys, who actually has called me beautiful, was sick too, but I guess he was sicker than I was since he went home after the first period. His name is Johannes, which is a very old Dutch name, and I don’t know if I like him or if I just think that he’s cute, because that’s something real different. I do know that I have thought about him a lot when he was in England for three months, I really missed him and that’s weird because I don’t miss a guy very quickly, but he hugged me at the last party of school he went to that year: Christmas Ball and since then I guess I feel something for that boy, but like I said… I have no idea.
Today we have watched a very interesting movie about how the earth is made, but the man who was the narrator of it didn’t have a nice voice to listen to – you can listen to his voice by yourself, the film is called Making Of Earth, or something like that. I promise you I will tell you some other day. But with his incredibly slow and boring voice he told us: “Five billion years ago there was nothing in this universe except for the sun, rocks and gravity. The rocks got together by gravity and slowly formed a planet: our earth. That happened 4.8 billion years ago. It took three hundred million years to form the planet, but it was a toxic fireball. The planet Theia, which was as big as the planet Mars is right now, approached the fireball with a speed of 15 kilometers per second and finally hit it. Some rocks released and formed another ball: our moon” blah, blah, blah. It is incredibly weird to think that the world we live on has been a fireball first. And after that, 3.9 billion years ago, there was a meteor shower – that’s how Google Translate translates it – of twenty million years. I repeat: twenty million years. That’s insane! We watched the movie with geography and I’m not interested in that subject, but I am interested in how this planet has been created.
So that was today’s day and I know I told this many times: I hate it. I hate school.
I’m not really in the mood to write more, but I want to tell you one thing what actually changed my life in a positive way. It’s been eleven months since I had a surgery and the reason for that was having my meniscus of my left knee nearly split in two because there was a big tear in it which caused it. Before the surgery I have been coming to the physiotherapy twice a week, but nothing helped. Their diagnose was that my knee was irritated, but that it’d heal very quickly, but it didn’t. We were spending our fucking money for something which didn’t help at all. I wasn’t able to hockey my full hundred percent for two whole years and it killed me, it actually killed me. I wasn’t allowed to hockey indoor, which takes three months and that killed me even more. I was afraid I didn’t have the chance to go on with playing hockey and that I couldn’t sport at all anymore, after a few years, which made me cry very hard sometimes. I also wasn’t able to bow my knee for 45 degrees without help. With help I couldn’t even reach it to my butt. When we were in the hospital with a surgeon and a sport arts, the surgeon tried to help me reach my butt with my heel, but it hurt so extremely much that I started releasing a few tears. He immediately knew that it had to be my meniscus, but he wanted to be sure so we had to return to the hospital in two weeks to make an MRI-scan and yes, there was a huge tear in my meniscus. He told me not to hockey for the time between then and the surgery, so I went to see my team playing and when they saw me in normal clothes instead of the colors orange and brown – ugh, yes I know, ugly mixed colors – they all told me that they needed me. A few minutes before the match I was allowed to tell that I had to be operated and I started crying, because I love hockey so freaking much. I must say that I cry very fast, but most of the time I cry because I’m afraid of my father’s reaction or whenever I’m incredibly frustrated.
So after the surgery I wasn’t allowed to play hockey for a certain two months, but I had to go to another, but very good physiotherapist and I they said that I was able to hockey really fast and that one sentence made me so happy. I seriously smiled like a freak when I heard it. It was in the winter, so the indoor hockey had started again and I came to see it sometimes, because I loved watching my team playing hockey. We were very good, as good as my team is now – since I have a new team every year. We play a very high class – I’m sorry, but we call it class and I have no idea how to call it in English – and we might be able to go to a higher class. I’m happy to say that, because I will actually learn something of that higher class and I won’t be stuck in the sub top class. I just love to say that everything turned out to be not so bad and that I’m not injured anymore.