So Much for That Happy Ending

The Deep End- Scary Kids Scaring Kids

And don't tell me
I'm afraid of waking up alone
You always knew it was better that way. You were always stronger than what you let show.

But it's waking up to find you've gone
I'll never forget that day. That day I woke up in an empty and cold bed, no traces of your warm body close to mine, cuddled to it like it always was.

Well you make it clear
I had my chances
You said it so many times. "I swear this is the last time."
I should have listened, I should have realized it before it was too late. I would take back all my mistakes if I could. All for one last chance. The one I wasted with no care.

Only one way left to go
So I'll follow it down
It would never be the same without you.

She goes straight
Straight for the deep end
Doesn't hesitate to dive right in
Be careful now
Be careful now
Look what I made you do. I can't even think of the consequences. But you don't even glance back while walking away. You would lose your courage.
All I wanted was you to be safe and sound.

So shes traded my love for comfort
Gives it all away
Why was it that I couldn't see you wouldn't be able to take with my mistakes with no end? I can't accept...I shouldn't have taken you for granted, not after so many chances.
I should have seen you would prefer comfort to the heartbreak I caused you everyday. No matter how much I loved you.
You couldn't take my mistakes forever, I know love.

So much for that happy ending
All our plans and dreams together...I'm sorry for screwing them up.
We both know who loses the most with it. You were my only shot at love.
It looks like there will be no fairytale written for us, no story to tell our babies. That was also lost now.

Now you make it clear
You've got your options
Between my neverending mistakes and a new beginning, I'll keep saying you deserved better. So much better...
And you made your option. You choose to give up on the lost cause I am.

Only one way left to go
So I'll follow it down
There would never exist such thing as up moments without you. From now on, down is the way to go. There was no better for me.

She can't hold her own
Who would have known
She is misery's company
And now I see the wreck you became, I see you losing yourself. The only thing that made life worth living, drowning in misery.

She got no place to go
No place to call home
She got misery's company
I tried to stop you untill you found somewhere else. You would go anywhere, no matter what, as long as my face wasn't present there. All you wanted was away from me.
From now on it's all down.

She goes straight
straight for the deep end
Doesn't hesitate to dive right in
Be careful now
Be careful now
Be careful!
Be careful now
It doesn't matter anymore to you. There's no way back, no turning back time. What I wouldn't give to change the clocks back to before all of this. But my chances are over...

She only come to me in my dreams
So sleep becomes routine
Its not healthy, its what makes you right
Its not healthy, its what makes you
So I'll close my eyes and imagine you're here, that things were different. But it doesn't take long untill reality settles in. Your image keeps haunting my dreams. It won't take me further.

She only come to me in my dreams
So sleep becomes addicting
Its not healthy, its what makes you right
Its not healthy, its what makes you
This is all I do now. Close my eyes and focuse on your image the longer I can. This is the only way I will have you again, so I'll stick to it. I'll crave it every minute. I'll sleep just to dream of you.

Hold her strings to haunt my dreams
Its not healthy, its what makes you right
Its not healthy, its what makes you
Never leave my mind. The memories are all I have now.

She goes straight
straight for the deep end
Doesn't hesitate to dive right in
She goes straight
straight for the deep end
Doesn't hesitate to dive right in
Be careful now
Be careful now
Be careful
Now I lie on my bed, all the memories rushing through my mind.
The first kiss, how I would tease you before, when we were in the playground and you broke your foot. All so out of order...
Those years when we broke apart, echother following their own path. The parties we had, the first time we met in kindergarten. Followed by the day I asked you out, the proposal in rose petals on the grass. Then way back to when you ran to your mother crying because I had taken your favourite toy from you.
13, 14, 5, 16, 19, 3, 17, 4... All popping in my mind so randomly.

Then I remebered the sound of your voice and how my insides would melt everytime I watched you smile, how good it felt to wake up feeling your warm body pressed to mine as we were entangled on the sheets, the sweet scent of your skin, how our lips fitted perfectly, the jokes we made, how seductive you could be, how you giggled at my shocked face after you said something extremely dirty and naughty like only you could.
And especially how we would lay together for hours, not saying a word, simply enjoying eachothers company, and still not feel awkward. That was us.
You were the only one able to leave me acting this deep, so not me.
You were my best friend, my middleschool crush, my highschool sweetheart. You were the person I loved, always did and always will.

My heart beat sped up as suddenly all the flashbacks stopped, only one certain moment in time appearing in my mind.
The last time your eyes met mine.

The phone ringed, breaking the silence inour my silent and empy house. It wasn't even home now. Not with you away.
"Hello?" I simply spoke into the receiver. If only I knew...
"I'm so sorry. They found her body near the shore."