Summertime Sadness

Nathan:

Things have been going well lately. The hype of us winning the Memorial Cup hasn't warn off yet, but I'm more focused on the NHL Draft now. I'm predicted to go top 2, the other guy I'm "battling" with for the number spot is my good friend Seth Jones. We recently met in the Memorial Cup and many eyes were on us and the comparisons and contrasts on who was better at what started to begin. "Well Nathan is good at this," and "But Seth can do this." Ultimately, I'll just be happy to get drafted. Although, I am a bit nervous. It's a lot, and I am only 18. Luckily I have Nicole who has been a good way for me to distract myself from all the draft hype. I have to leave soon for the NHL Scouting Combine so I decided to spend the next few days with Nicole. We've gone out to lunch, gone shopping, just walked around town. Although walking around town didn't work too well cause wherever we went a crowd seemed to soon follow. Tonight I told her to just come to my house and we could spend the night just talking and hanging out.

I decided to put a blanket outside by the pond in my backyard for us to lay out and be alone. I also put a bunch of Nicole's favorite treats into a basket to surprise her. By the time I set everything up Nicole texted me saying she had just pulled in. I ran back in the house and met her at the front door. I opened it and tried to look like a sexy model. "Why hello gorgeous." I gave her a wink and she just laughed. "Hey handsome." She kissed me on the lips and I just smiled as we pulled away. "What?" She looked at me curious. "Nothing, just fireworks. Like always." She couldn't help but smile and she gave me another kiss. "So what do you have planned for today Nath?" I held her hand as I led her through the house to the backyard. "Well, I thought maybe we could just sit outside for awhile. Just relax." I

slid open the door to the back porch and she just smiled. "Aw Nathan, I love it." We walked down to the blanket and each took a seat across from each other. Nicole looked at the basket and gave me a curious look. "What's in here?" She put her hand on the lid and tried to sneak a peak. "Now wait a minute. It's supposed to be a surprise. Don't ruin it." I frowned at her and she handed me the basket and say patiently waiting. "Well then, surprise me." She smiled as I reached inside. "I thought you might like some of your favorites." I began to pull out the items one by one and she laughed. "Fun dip, pop rocks, nerds, and Capri Sun juice pouches. Nathan this is perfect." She leaned over and gave me a kiss. "Thank you, I love it." "Of course, anything for my girl." We both smiled as she grabbed a blue fun dip and ripped it open.

"I haven't had fun dip since-" "Since Valentines Day the first year we met." She shook her head as she ate her candy. "That's right! You found out it was my favorite candy and stuffed my locker with just fun dip and then you left a note taped to the inside of my locker." I chuckled and then we both quoted the note I left in unison, "Nicole, would you like to go out with me? I could help you eat some of these. - Nathan" we both laughed and took sips of our juice. "I can't believe it's been three years already." I laid down on the blanket and Nicole curled up next to me. "I know. Crazy how fast the time has gone." We sat in silence for a few minutes before Nicole spoke up.

"Hey Nath?" "Yeah Nicole?" I could feel her moving a bit uneasily. "Why have you been spending the last few days with me, and like doing stuff we normally wouldn't do?" I was unsure if I wanted to tell her the real reason or not, so I didn't answer for a few minutes. Nicole sat up and she knew I wasn't telling her something. "Nathan talk to me. What's up?" She tucked her hair behind her ear and pulled her knees to her chest as she sat and waited for a response. "Look Nicole, I just wanted to spend more time with you. Because of, you know." She looked confused. "I know what?" I sat up across from her and just decided to tell her what was up. "Okay look. The draft is coming up later this summer, and I have the combine soon. And we just won the Memorial Cup, which is awesome. But, it's so much all at once for me. And I'm afraid that I will be too busy to spend time with you over the next few weeks. So I just wanted to make up for the time I might not have later on." She smiled at me and held my hand.

"Nathan that's sweet. I get it, but is that really it? I still feel like your not saying something." I sighed and looked up at the sky. "Nicole I just, I'm scared. There I said it. I'm scared for all of this." "Well Nath you are only 18, this is a lot, but your gonna do fine. You will do great at the combine and whatever happens at the draft happens. Everyone is still going to proud of you no matter what happens." She reassured me but she wasn't getting it. "Nicole, I'm not worried about the combine or the draft, well I am, but that's not my main concern." She again looked confused. "Then what am I not hearing?" "The reason I'm scared is because I'm scared of loosing this. I'm scared of loosing you Nicole. That's why I'm doing all this stuff. Because I'm afraid that when I get drafted, I'm not coming back home to play for Halifax. I'll be far away, I won't be a thirty minute for you to come watch me play. And I'm not sure I can handle loosing you and what we have." I put my head in my hands and she wrapped her arms around me.

"Hey, who said I was going anywhere? Just because you are gonna be miles away doesn't mean I'm gonna leave you. I will still be a phone call away. I'm always gonna be there for you Nathan, I would never let distance change that, and you shouldn't either." I looked up at her with tears in my eyes. "But, were used to being around each other constantly. We've rarely been apart for long, and I don't think I want to risk loosing you because we try and do the long distance thing and it fails. I don't want to fail you." She wiped my tears and have me a kiss. "Nathan, you could never fail me. Okay? Never." We laid back down and Nicole comforted me as I tried to regain my manly-ness and stop crying. But I was being completely honest with Nicole. I'm not sure I want to risk what we have by attempting a long distance relationship. But something tells me Nicole isn't willing to give up.