A Bride to Be

I opened my eyes slowly to see nothing but darkness. A faint sound of beeping was heard from next to me. The smell of sterility hit my nostrils and it instantly made me sick. I hated the smell of sterility also knows as the smell of hospitals. It reminded me of sick people. Of all the people I have ever known I have never met someone who liked coming to hospitals. Why would they like it anyway? Hospitals were for sick and dying people. I looked to my right where the constant beeping came from and saw a monitor with a few lines going up and down in the same interval. I felt a lump in my throat as panic started to spread over me and as my body gained a bit of strength I realised I had tubes taped too my nose. I watched as the beeping got quicker and the lines got out of their interval as I started shaking. What was happening to me and why were I at the hospital?
A door was opened and the light was turned on. It stung in my eyes as my eyes tried to adjust to the bright light. Two people ran to me in a fast pace. My eyes were instantly met with a pair of brown eyes which belonged to a tall man with dark brown hair. He looked to be in his mid-forties. The other person was a woman. She was chubby with short brown hair and looked to be in her late-twenties. The woman came and took my hand as the man sat down on a chair next to me.

“Good to see that you have decided to join us, I’m Martin.” The man, who I guessed was a doctor, said in a cheerful voice. Why is he so cheerful? He’s in a freaking hospital for fuck’s sake.
I looked away from the man who smiled at me and to the woman who was standing next to me on the other side of the bed. I could see that there were a lot of flowers in the room – all of them in vases. The beeping noise had died down a bit and gone back to its old interval.

“You are a very loved person, so many people have been given you flowers,” The woman said in a sensible tone of voice. I wanted to say something to them but my mind was stuck. I had many questions but it was just like I didn’t know how to express myself.

“Okay, I’m just going to light in your eyes with this torch. Could you try to follow the light with your eyes?” Martin said. It hurt in my eyes when he shone in them and I could feel them get watery, but I did what he told me to anyway. “Looks fine,” He said and turned off the torch. “Okay I’m going to ask you some yes and no questions and all I want you to do at first is just to nod or shake your head, okay?” He asked and I nodded.

“Do you know where you are?” He asked and I nodded. It was pretty clear to me that I were at the hospital. I just didn’t really know why.

“Do you know why you are here?” I shook my head.

“Do you know who you are?” I nodded. Of course I know who I am. I’m Aimee King from St. Albans.

“That’s good,” He smiled a comforting smile at me. “Do you remember what you did before you came here?” He asked and I nodded again. “Okay, now I’m going to give you some questions that I would like you to try and answer. “Where do you live?”

“I..n… Lo…” I tried to talk but it was like the words didn’t want to come out of my mouth. Like I hadn’t said a word in weeks. The woman, who I figured out had to be a nurse, gave me a glass of water and I took a small sip of it. “In London,” I continued. I sounded like I had smoked five packs of cigarettes in one night.

“When is your birthday?”

“21st of March 1993,” I said as I looked at a bracelet around my wrist.

“What is your name?” Just as he asked the question I read the name on bracelet out loud.

“Millie Thomas!” Millie Thomas! Who the fuck is Millie Thomas? I’m Aimee King! Why am I wearing Millie Thomas’ hospital bracelet.

“Very good. We will have to keep you under observation for a few more days but you will soon be able to get out of here.” Martin said. “Grace will call your boyfriend and tell him that you have woken up,” He said and looked at the nurse.

“He will be so happy. He has been here every day waiting for you,” The nurse, who I assumed was Grace, said. She walked out of the room with heavy steps, almost sounding like an elephant walking. My boyfriend, I don’t have a boyfriend.

“Millie,” Martin said in a serious tone. “Do you have any slight idea why you’re in here? Any memory at all?”

“No,” I said. I wanted to correct him and I don’t know why I didn’t do it. Something inside of me told me that maybe something was wrong with me. Had I forgotten who I really was?

“You were in a car accident,” He said in a serious tone of voice. He studied me closely as I tried to think about what had happened. Why didn’t I remember the accident? “Your car collided with another car. The driver in the other car was under the influence of alcohol and in no state to drive. The other person weren’t as lucky as you.”

“Who was the other person?” I don’t know why I asked that question because there was no way that I would know the person who had probably almost killed me. And even though I had other questions, more relevant questions, this was the one that came out of my mouth.

“Aimee, she was the same age as you. You were very lucky,” Martin said and smiled comfortable at me.

“Aimee King?” I asked. Yet again I don’t know why I asked that question. Aimee King was me, I was Aimee King.

“Did you know her?” Martin looked surprised like he couldn’t really believe what he was hearing. I was confused as never before. They called me Millie Thomas and asked me about Aimee King. They must have mixed us at some point. But if they had mixed up our names wouldn’t our families have recognised it? Had my family even come to visit me?

“But I’m Aimee King,” I whispered.

“Look Millie,” Martin said and sat down on the chair next to me. “It is perfectly normal that you are a bit confused right now. You have been through a lot and your brain needs time to start taking things in. We don’t expect anyone to wake up from a coma and be their same old. You will have to understand that it will take some time for you to adjust to being awake again and everything might seem a bit frightened at first, but you have to give it some time. I’ll talk to your boyfriend and friends and tell them that you’ll need to be handled with patience and care and that you need silence around you. It’s also very important that they understand that it’ll take some time before you’re back to your old self and that they will give you the space you need.”

“I don’t understand,” I told him, a hint of sadness in my voice. Why didn’t he know who I was? “Where’s my family?” He gave me a sympathetic look before he answered.

“When you were giving up for adoption you parents signed a paper saying that they wouldn’t allow you to find them. Therefore we’re not allowed to contact them. Your boyfriend told us that you’re not in contact with any of your former foster families. If you want us too we can contact them,” I could feel a headache creeping up on me. All this incorrect information made me feel sick.

“I was not giving up for adoption,” I told him. How could they have messed it up so badly? Maybe they had never contacted my family. They had to think that I was the other girl, but if they thought I was the other girl wouldn’t my family have come to see me? And if they had come to see me they would have realised that it wasn’t me. Maybe the other girl had been injured so badly that it was hard to identify the person and then my parents had just buried what they thought was my body. They will be so pleased when they realise that I am alive and pissed because of this mistake.

“It’s perfectly normal for people with head injuries to shut out information about their past that may have caused some kind of trauma in their life. As you recover and get back to your normal routine your memory should start to remember things that it’s leaving out right now. For some people though, things will never come back,” Martin sighed as he looked at me. I wasn’t saying a word. I was looking at him intensely as I tried to devour every word he said. Could I really have forgotten who I was? No, that’s not possible. I know who I am! “The best thing you can do is to go back to your normal routine. You’ll have check-ups at the hospital once a week and we’ll make sure there is always someone you can call if you need to talk,” He said and gave me a reassuring smile before he got up from the chair. “I’ll tell you about all that later. Your brain doesn’t need all that information right now. You need to relax and get into things slowly.” My headache was getting worse and I had begun to believe that it was all a dream. I could probably wake up any moment. I lifted my hand to let it run through my hair – a habit I had had ever since I had my hair cut short. What I felt wasn’t my short, thick hair. It was long and soft and thinner. How long had I been in a coma? If my hair had grown that much; what would be legs and other parts look like then?

“How long have I been in a coma?”

“When you came here you were critically injured so you were put in to a coma in order to help your body and brain to heal. You’ve been in a coma for 28 days,” 28 days! My hair could not get that long in 28 days. I felt my body freeze and Martin approached me again. “You need to rest and not think about things too much right now. Your brain is like an old car. You’ll have to be patient when you want to go for a ride. It takes some time to start the engine. I’ll ask Grace if she got hold of your boyfriend,” How could I have got myself a boyfriend when I had been in a coma? Had I met someone who had been in a coma too and then it had been decided that we were going to date?

“I don’t want him to see me like this,” I said. The words that came out of my mouth weren’t the words I was thinking. My mind was really confused and it was like I thought something and said something else. I had wanted to tell Martin that I didn’t have a boyfriend. It was too late now though. “I don’t want him to see me with all these things attached to me,” I looked as good as I could down my body. I had drains going everywhere and I was pretty sure that I had a catheter and honest I didn’t want anyone to see me with one of those. “Can you please remove this?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to see your boyfriend first?” He asked me and I shook my head. It looked like he was thinking before he answered. “I’ll get the nurse and then I’ll go over the details with you and we’ll remove it. It will be very quick,” He left the room and after about five to ten minutes he returned with a different nurse. Martin told me that he would inject saline into my bladder in order to verify right away that the urethra was unobstructed after the catheter came out.

“I need you to take a deep breath now and I’ll pull the drain out. It’ll only take a few seconds,” Martin said and I took a deep breath. I felt a shiver as he pulled the drain out. “And it’s done,” He said and smiled at me. He told me that he needed me to pee the saline out again and I did it on my first try.
I had always hated coming to hospitals and I had always been embarrassing about it, but something about Martin made me calm and I felt like I was in good hands. And while he took my catheter out I forgot about Millie Thomas. It felt good to have my concentration somewhere else.

“Okay, that’s all I’m going to do for you now. Remember to take things slow and don’t talk about too many things. Your boyfriend is outside and Grace has given him instructions. I’ll make sure to let him in,” Martin said and he left with the nurse.

I waited a few minutes before the door opened. A blonde boy walked in with flowers in his hands. He smiled carefully as he approached the bed. I felt the panic creep up inside of me and I didn’t know if I should play along and pretend to be his girlfriend. But he would clearly realise that I wasn’t his girlfriend. You’d think that you’d know what your girlfriend looked like.

“These are for you,” He said and place the flowers on an empty bed in the room. “I know you already have so many but I don’t really know what else to buy,” He sounded sad and I watched as he looked at me intensely. I gave him a sly smile as he stood next to the bed. “I’ve missed you so much,” He said and I watched as he bent down and gave me a soft kiss on the lips. He sat down on the chair next to the bed and took my hand. “I’m so glad you are awake,” I hadn’t said a word to him and I didn’t know what to tell him. I didn’t know this boy even though he looked familiar. “I’ve brought some fresh clothes for you. The doctor said you’d be able to go home soon,” His voice sounded so happy even though he looked sad. I was sure I had seen him before and when he flashed me a bigger smile I knew who he was. What is he doing here? I’m positive that I don’t know him.

“Niall?” I asked. I didn’t know what kind of answer I expected from him. If I expected him to tell me everything was a joke and that I was in some kind of television programme.

“Mmhm,” he said and looked me in the eyes. I saw the hope in them as I was finally saying something to him. I wanted to tell him that I did not date him and that I didn’t know what was going on but I couldn’t. The moment I said his name his facial expression changed and he looked so happy. Like the world problems had been solved. So instead of coming clean I asked the only thing I could think of.

“Where’s my ring?” I had realised that I wasn’t wearing the ring that my grandmother had given me last year before she died. It wasn’t anything fancy but it meant a lot to me. I watched as Niall searched in his pockets and a hope filled me body. He had my ring. Even though everything was weird and that I didn’t understand what Niall was even doing here and where he knew about me it warmed me to know that he had kept my ring safe.

“Here it is,” He said as he slipped something on my finger. It wasn’t the usual finger and when I wanted to take it off to put it on the other hand I realised that it wasn’t my ring. It was a big fat diamond ring that looked mostly like an engagement ring. It felt like the world came crashing down on me and I began to sob uncontrollably.

“Shh, Millie, it’s okay,” He said as he drew circles in the palm of my hand. Millie. Who the fuck was Millie? Had I really hit my head so hard that I had forgotten about what seemed like a whole lifetime? I’m Aimee King!