On Your Side

John decided to sit at the bar alone once he got his second drink. He just needed a moment to himself. What was he doing with Jenna? He knew he had made some sort of bubble to live in with her, but was he that far off what reality? He breathed in before gulping half of the dark liquid in his glass.

"You ok?" He heard and he looked down at the glass knowing very well who the voice belonged to.

Jenna placed her hand on his shoulder as she rested against his side.

"I don't know anymore." He mumbled and she slid her arm through his.

"John..." She whispered and he had no choice but to look at her.

"I just, I know I'm getting my hopes up. I've tried to tell myself that and yet I allow myself to get caught up in you, and pretend like nothing but us exist and I need to stop that for my own sanity. I know it isn't your fault, and maybe I was hoping that I just loved the idea of you, or loved you because I couldn't have you, but being around you these past few days made me realize none of that is true..." He stated and she immediately bit her bottom lip.

"I just think we need to put space between us. I'm not saying cut each other out completely. I'm just saying this all day, everyday thing has to end. Although, I don't want it to, it has to." He added at a whisper before looking back at his drink. It hurt him to say all of this, but it had to be done and he knew that.

"Ok..." She managed to get out, "I'll just go home with Garrett..."

John nodded unable to look at her in fear of giving in. He knew the empty feeling that would take over when he was finally home and alone in his bed. Hell, he had been content with that feeling for years, but it seemed like all of that was forgotten in the time he had spent with Jenna and now he dreaded the horrible feeling waiting on him.

"I..." She began and he immediately cut her off, "Don't say you're sorry. Didn't we talk about that?"

"I wasn't...I was just going to say that I am going to miss you." She whispered, a blush hitting her cheeks from such truthful words.

John sighed, standing from his seat which put them too close for comfort in his mind. He slid his hand to her cheek as he stared down at her.

"I'm going to miss you too." He whispered, his thumb rubbing her skin as she stared up at him.

"Jenna, I'm not saying don't call me when you're having a problem or want to talk. You better. I just think some distance will be good."

She managed to nod and he shut his eyes as his forehead touched hers.

"You're upset. Why?" He questioned, knowing her silence meant one of two things, either she was mad or upset and he chose the less of two evils.

"I'm not."

"You are. You get quiet. Like you are now."

She pulled back, shaking her head no, "I'm just going to go ahead and go..."

"No, Jen..." He quickly said, grabbing her hand in order to stop her from walking away.

"Yeah, I should anyways. I'm exhausted and I have homework to finish..."

He groaned and pulled her in, "Please don't do this to me."

"Do what?"

"Make me feel even more guilty. I'm trying to do the right thing here."

"I get that. I just want to go home."

"Ok..." He whispered, dropping his hold on her and watching her walk away. Garrett must have decided to take her back because he watched the boy leave the table. It didn't take long for Kennedy to appear next to him.

"So..."

"I don't want to talk about it."

Kennedy shrugged, "Fine. We won't."

John looked over at him and Kennedy spoke, "I'm just saying, I know you are conflicted on what to do but you being fickle all the time isn't going to make it better."

John groaned, "I'm not trying to be it's just, if I don't put space between us I'll continue to live in this dream world I've made up with her and I know it won't last."

"You don't know that..."

John scoffed, "But I do. Eric will make her fall in love with him again and she'll want to be with him of course and then I'll be here all alone and hurt even more than I should be simply because I gave into her."

"Jeez, you have no faith. It's depressing."

John rolled his eyes, "Do you honestly think I have a chance?"

"Yeah, I do."

John shook his head, "Then apparently we're both crazy..." He stated before drinking the last of his alcohol.

""I'm going home."

"Your house or hers?" Kennedy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"My house. She does not want to see me right now."

"Mhm. Right. But what would happen if you chased after her?"

John chuckled, "Wow, didn't know you were a hopeless romantic, Ken. Emphasize on hopeless..."

"I'm just saying, you want the girl. Why exactly can't you fight for her again? I mean, last I checked you and Eric weren't on good terms so what's holding you back from going for it?"

"Didn't I say there weren't sides? I feel like you're picking my side..."

Kennedy rolled his eyes, "Answer the question, John."

"I really don't know. I haven't thought of it that way actually..."

"Well, looks like the only hopeless one is you, buddy." Kennedy stated, patting John's shoulder before going back to the table.

John shook his head before heading for the door. As much as he didn't want to agree, Kennedy made a valid point. Nothing was holding him back now.

Once Garrett dropped Jenna off she changed in pajamas and slid into her bed. The warm, fuzzy feeling from the alcohol now long gone.

She sighed, staring up at the ceiling in her now dark room. She honestly didn't know what she wanted and she hated that. Shouldn't she know by now? Her thoughts were interrupted by a tapping sound and she immediately sat up. After thinking she imagined the sound she heard it once more. She slowly moved from the bed, following the sound to her window. She breathed in before moving the curtains. Once she saw nothing staring back at her she opened it and stuck her head out only to see Eric standing on the ground below.

"Eric? What are you doing here?" She quietly shouted if possible. A grin hit his lips as he stared up at her, "Garrett told me he dropped you off and also added that you were not so happy so I thought it would be a good idea to check on you. Going to let me in?"

She nodded and closed her window before flying down the stairs to let the boy in.

"Hi." He spoke once she opened the door. A smile hit her lips as she stepped aside to let him in.

"Kind of late to be creeping outside someone's window isn't it?" She joked and he chuckled, "Ah well, maybe, but your neighbors know me so I don't think the police will get involved." He whispered as they crept back to her room.

She laughed softly as she shut her door and he pulled off his jacket before falling into the pink chair that sat in the corner.

"So what's wrong?" He asked as she crawled onto her bed, crossing her legs underneath her as she faced him.

"Nothing, I just..." She began, shaking her head, deciding not to finish.

"You just...don't want to talk to me about it." He responded with a weak grin.

"I can't. It's you and..."

"It's me. You know, before we dated we were like best friends."

"Is that what you thought?"

He cocked his head to the side, "Were we not?"

Jenna chuckled, "Maybe..."

"I feel like I've been living a lie..."

She smiled and he boldly moved from the chair and sat on the bed beside her.

"And I thought we were just friends now so..."

"Well, we both know that isn't true." She mumbled staring at her hands in her lap.

Eric sighed before falling onto his back and she glanced over at him.

"Ok, so we won't talk." He stated, sliding his hands behind his head.

"Well you won't. I probably will..." He added causing her to laugh.

"I can talk."

"I know you can, I heard you."

She rolled her eyes before laying beside him, "You know what I mean."

"I know, I know. I got it. Well, then what do you want to talk about? If you say the weather I'll push you off this bed."

"What? No." She giggled and a smile hit his lips, "Fine, ready for school?"

"Even worse than weather. No. I am not looking forward to it."

"You're about to graduate."

"Too far away..."

"And I'm super jealous that you get to spend 8 hours a day with Alex!"

"Oh shush." She spoke through her laughter.

Eric chuckled, "How's John?"

"Good, I assume."

Eric nodded and Jenna spoke, "You shouldn't be mad at him."

"I'm not."

"But you haven't talked to him."

"I can't."

She sighed as her eyes met his, "I can't Jenna. Knowing he wants to be with you just doesn't settle well with me..."

"I don't hate him just so we are clear." He added, brushing his fingers against her cheek.

"I know. You couldn't hate anyone."

"I don't know whether that's a compliment or not."

Jenna chuckled, "It is."

"Mhm." He mumbled relaxing on the pillow, his hand still pressed to her cheek.

"I miss you so much." He whispered, "I know I shouldn't tell you things like that, but being here with you just makes me realize it even more."

"It's ok. I miss you too." She replied with honesty. She did miss him. It seemed like being with him made her realize how much she truly did though.

He grinned weakly and inched closer to her. Her eyes immediately shut once his nose hit hers. Between him stroking her cheek and hearing him breathe she soon drifted off to sleep.

She woke up the next morning, her head on Eric's chest and his arms lazily around her. She didn't bother to move. The feeling she had in that moment was hard to even describe. She just knew she enjoyed it. It felt; natural.

It wasn't long after that she felt Eric stir beneath her and his arms tighten around her.

"Are you up?" He asked softly and she chuckled, "Yeah. Are you?"

Eric laughed, "Nope. Not at all."

She giggled against his neck and he stroked her hair.

"This made me happier than it should."

"What do you mean?"

Eric shook his head and she moved off of him, sitting up as she stared at him.

He sat up, bushing her hair behind her ear and kissing her forehead.

"I should get going."

"Why?" She whispered and he messed with his hair as he glanced at the clock on the nightstand.

"I got a meeting at noon."

She nodded not going to argue although it was only 9.

"So, this weekend..." He stated, moving from the bed and grabbing for his shoes.

"So this weekend, date with me right?"

A grin hit Jenna's lips, "Sure, Halvorsen."

"Great. Well..." he said, moving to her and she couldn't help the butterflies now in her stomach.

"Have a great day at school tomorrow." He whispered and she bit her bottom lip as she nodded. He grabbed her, pulling her up so she was eye level with him and she swore her heart stopped beating.

"You know what's going to happen this weekend right?" He whispered and she forced herself to shake her head no.

"I'm going to kiss you."

She gulped trying to rid herself of the feeling like her heart was now in her throat.

Eric pressed his lips to her cheek before dropping his hands from her, "See you soon, love."

Jenna fell back onto her bed, her heart now beating rapidly and her mind filled with Eric Halvorsen.

Maybe he was right, maybe he would be able to woo her all over again.