Junior Year

These past few days I've had this sensation of self-loathing. Really stuck in a jam I guess. It's really been carrying over from day to day. I just haven't talked to my summer love in a while. I really want to talk to her but I don't know if it'll be awkward. Even if this doesn't happen, we could be really good friends. But I still really want this to happen. I guess I shouldn't give up on this relationship if I really want it, because it's difficult to wait, but even worse to regret. I should persevere. My martial arts instructor told me something once. It was like, "Perseverance is like jam. Jam takes a while to go bad be cause of it's preservatives. You should be like jam, and not give up on what you want, and persevere." She's still just on my mind. I have this urge and want to talk to her, but I guess I don't want it bad enough to text her. But even if I did, it'd be hard to hang out because she's kinda far away and her family doesn't have their own car yet. On a side note, we only lost our water polo game by 8 goals. Best game yet, and still improving. Maybe I'll text her this weekend. Will I persevere, or will the fear of...actually. I don't know what I'm afraid of. It would be a good idea to figure out what I'm afraid of. Once I find that, maybe I can finally conquer my fear.