To Fall Back In Love

A week ealier.

She bit her bottom lip, not really knowing what to say next. Well, in fact, almost everything had been said. She looked at her boyfriend. John shifted in his seat and his expression was pained and deathly serious and it kind of scared the shit out of her. Just like his words he had said a few moments before.

You have to choose.

"You're kidding me, right?" she finally asked and he lifted his gaze to her. "You want me to choose between your career and mine? This is ridiculous!" she stood up, trying to understand his words.

"I want you to choose between me and this stupid job hundreds of miles away! I can't even believe you've even considered this offer" he said and she looked at him, unable to believe that John was so selfish.

"You know what actually is stupid? Me. Yes, I am stupid because of supporting you! I've been always here and there for you and your friends! You wanted me to go on the tour? I was fine with that. You wanted me at your shows? I was fine with that! But I wanted to do all those things because I love you and I wanted to support you. That was my job as your girlfriend. And this is the first time when it's all about me and here you are, so...selfish, so...oh my God, you asshole!" she yelled at him as well, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Am I a selfish one? Look at you, damn it. You want me to leave with you to London for almost a year! Well, at least a year! What about my band? I’m not gonna quit it! We're about to leave on the tour! I'm not going to cancel it!"

He was so pissed off. How could she come and tell him that she was leaving for that long. She didn't even want to discuss it with him. She had already decided, and now she wanted him to take this step with her.

God, he desperately wanted a cigarette right now.

"I'm not asking for that, Jesus Christ! The only thing I want you to do is just...going to UK with me! Yes, now. Yes, in between the shows, but especially after the tour. I don't want you to cancel it. But yes, I want you to go there….to be there with me. It's only a year or so" she said quietly. She was so tired of this bullshit.

"I can't, Emma. That's my job and there are things that I can't change and you know it" he shrugged. He broke her heart. She knew that there were things he couldn't change. Of course. But it wasn't one of those things. They could change the dates when they were supposed to be recording in the studio. For later. Not just after the tour. London was a chance for the rest. For the new inspiration. It was an opportunity to develop their relationship. But John was just being stubborn.

"So do you still want me to choose?" she asked. He nodded. Emma took a deep breath. "Well, John this is...a big chance for me. I hoped you understand, because you have your dreams.. But if you want me to choose, ok. Ok! Now this is my turn to do something that I want to do, that I've been dreaming about for years" she said. She broke his heart.

"Fine. Then leave" he said quietly and her heart almost stopped. That was over. They were over.

"I love you" she added, hoping it changed his mind. But she saw him still sitting with his dropped gaze and she knew it hadn't helped.

And she left.

***

Please kill me now.

That was the only thought he had in his head since she left him alone at his apartment a week ago. And they hadn't talked since that day. Except for the moment when two days later she came to get her things back. He hoped that she changed her mind. But no. She had chosen London, not him.

Actually, he still had hope. Because today was The Maine's open show. John had this vision that she would appear somewhere. In the front row. In the line of screaming girls in front of the building. But she didn't. Probably because tonight was her flight to London. But he still had hope, even if his heart was in pieces.

Three songs left. It was their first show of this tour in Los Angeles. And one of the biggest they had ever had.


I bet you didn't expect that
She made me change my ways
With eyes like a sunset, baby
And legs that went on for days.
I'm falling in love
But it's falling apart
I need to find my way back to the start
When we were in love
Things were better than they are
Let me back into...
Into your arms.
Into your arms.


The crowd screamed in response to John's voice. He smiled, scanning the front row. His eyes landed on a blonde headed girl with a smile on her face. His heart stopped. His mind went blank.

Emma, he thought. He closed his eyes, and heard her voice.

"I love you."

John opened his eyes back up and searched the crowd for the face again. He found her. It wasn't Emma. Just another pretty blonde girl. Not his pretty blonde girl.

He felt his head start to spin. Ignoring the worried looks from his band mates, John stood up in the middle of the song.

And walked off the stage.

Garret and Tim found him in their dressing room.

They all heard the frantic shouts and the rest of boys were jamming on the instruments to buy them some time.

John was sitting on the couch, looking down at his feet. He didn't look up when his friends threw the curtain back.

"What. Are. You. DOING?" Garrett asked angrily. "You can't just leave like that! I mean, you can, but you shouldn't! What the hell is going on?"

John looked up, and Garrett gasped. John looked like hell.

"I'm sorry guys. I was singing the song about her and thought I saw her and that wasn't her and it all means that she hadn't change her decision" John mumbled.

"God, O'Callaghan. You have to pull it together" Tim insisted. John took in a shaky breath. Garrett sent a serious gaze to Tim. And sat next to John.

"Hey, we're here for you. And the fans are here for you. And believe me, they understand if you leave now and go on the airport."

John looked at his friends and smiled a bit. They knew he had to go to her. And they understood it.

"Two songs left, I guess. Well, don't finish a show. We'll figure it out. Just go and do what you should've done long time ago" Tim finally said, sighing. John hugged them.

"Thank you guys" he headed to the exit, but suddenly he stopped and turned to them. "I have an hour. I have to do something before I go. Let me finish it...somehow" he said. "Our fans definitely deserve it."

***

After explaining the situation to fans - yes, John was honest with them, like always - and promising that he'll write so many new songs about it and after Tim promised to do for those fans a special concert... John finally went to the airport.

He literally prayed to find her. And he almost lost his hope when he was running between other people and he couldn't find her anywhere.

"John?" he heard her voice behind him and he quickly turned around. He smiled, seeing her raised eyebrows and tears in her eyes. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"What are you doing here? Isn't that yours?" he looked at the large window and the plane behind it. She shrugged and nodded.

"I couldn't get on my plane. So here I am, sitting on my suitcase, wondering where I belong" she sobbed and he smiled, pulling her to him closer and hugged her. He kissed her forehead.

"You belong with me" he whispered. "And I belong with you. I want you to go to London and rock this city, and your new job and...everything. And I'm gonna be there with you and for you" he added. Emma looked up. "You're right, I'm so selfish. I just... I don't know. I was just scared that you'll not want to get back here or something. I was afraid of losing you. I love this place and I thought my home is here. But I realized that...it's not about the city. It's about you. Because finding you was like coming home. You're my home -"

"John..."

"No, let me finish. I need you to know that you're my home. And more. You're my music. You give me all the reasons to keep going on. I've been so...lost for the past week. So empty. Because things just don't feel the same without you. Then yes, I wanna go with you to London. I want your dreams to come true. I will follow you to the ends of the world, Emma" he finally said.

She was standing there, close to his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist and she was sobbing. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever heard.

"I'm sorry, I just.. I didn't think I'd hear all these things from you, when I was practically prying to get them out of you" she said as he kissed her forehead again. "I'm such a girl" she added and they both laughed. Emma suddenly pulled away. "John? Today was your open show!"

"Yeah, I skipped it" he laughed, seeing her terrified face. "But seriously, I skipped just two last songs. My fans told me to stop being an asshole."

"Aren't they the best?" she smiled, rubbing his jaw with her nose. He nodded with a laugh.

"I need to call the boys. And try to get a new ticket for you and for me, just after the tour. And...-" she cut him off, kissing his lips.

"Together. Always?"

"Together. Always."