The Beautifully Tortured

“Dean,” Castiel greeted when he opened his office door to find his client sitting comfortably in the waiting room, a knowing grin on the muscular man’s face. The doctor had been dreading this session for the past few days, secretly hoping his patient wouldn’t show up.

Stepping back, he gestured for Dean to come into the room and then slowly closed the door behind them. The patient took his place at the usual seating area, his legs casually crossed and his body clearly relaxed, whereas Castiel was stiff and more grave than he normally was.

“You okay, Doc?” Dean smirked.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Dr Novak answered curtly before finally taking his seat opposite the man. After a moment of looking at his journal, Castiel looked at the brunette with more confidence. “How have you been these past few days? After last week’s session, I thin-”

“Really? We’re just gonna ignore what happened at the weekend, then?” he snorted as he shook his head, causing the doctor to shrink a little as he tried to form a coherent answer. “I thought you in particular would want to analyse that.”

“You must understand, Dean, it’s not the…done thing, interacting with patients outside office hours. It can hurt the progress of the client and, well, you’ve been doing great and I do not want anything to change that.”

“So, what? We can’t have a little fun? It was only a few drinks at the bar, what’s so bad about that?”

The doctor’s gaze met his patient’s and saw how at ease he appeared, so he decided to take a page out of Dean’s book and loosen up, forgetting about the rules and what was ‘appropriate’ for now.

“I guess…”

“It was a pretty crazy night though, wasn’t it?” Dean grinned, sitting at the edge of the chair with his hands on his knees.

Castiel let out a soft chuckle, replying, “I’m usually not a big drinker.”

“Coulda fooled me and Sammy! You were throwing back the whisky like it was water,” the burly male laughed.

“I was trying to keep up with you guys! You’re both a bad influence. If it wasn’t for your brother and you, I wouldn’t have been so ill the next day.” The doctor cringed at the memory of spending the day clung to the toilet, his only companions being water and mouthwash.

“Lightweight!” Dean proclaimed, his smile becoming more contagious as Castiel let his own grin settle on his face.

The man couldn’t help but notice how different the session was compared to the previous ones. He hadn’t seen a genuine smile from his patient in so long, it was almost a relief for him to know that the pleasant expression still existed.

After a minute of amiable silence, Dr Novak spoke. “Though I don’t usually abide associating with clients outside the office, it did give me a good insight into you and your brother’s relationship. It’s even more apparent how close you two are.”

Dean only shrugged, his smile still lingering. “He’s my brother. I’d do anything for him.”

“And it’s clear he would do the same for you,” Castiel concurred. “You’re different when you’re with Sam. You visibly relax when he’s near, as if you feel more protected in his presence. Whether that only be physically or mentally as well, I’m not yet sure.”

The look on his patient’s face told the doctor that he didn’t quite follow what he was saying so Castiel elaborated. “Dean, I knew you held back in these meetings but now I know how guarded you really are. I can’t help you unless you truly open up. We need to look into what causes your defences to-”

“Look Doc,” Dean interrupted, putting his hand up to the man. “I can see you’re tryin’ to psychoanalyse me or some bullshit but you’re not gonna get far with that. You see, out there in the real world, I’m comfortable. At the bar? Hell, I’m more than comfortable. But in this room with Dr Novak, I’m anything but that. This is unknown territory so you’re gonna find things in me that ain’t really there.”

Castiel kept quiet for a minute, digesting what his patient was saying. He understood completely but all he craved was for the man to let down his guard without the aid of alcohol or being tricked into talking about his past, which usually ended with Dean storming out of the room.

“I wish you would trust me, Dean. Everything we talk about doesn’t leave this room and no matter what you tell me, I’m not going to judge you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I want to help you.”

“I don’t need any Goddamn help!” the patient erupted, causing Castiel to jump. Dean stared hard into the doctor’s eyes, the rage in his expression echoing throughout his body, making him uptight. A complete contrast to how he entered the room.

“Dean-”

“How can you be two completely different people?” the irritated male asked.

“I don’t understand,” the doctor replied, honestly confused.

“Cas-”

“Dr Novak,” Castiel interjected, not wanting the doctor/patient relationship to become personal, though that only caused Dean to explode.

“Are you kidding me?!” he growled, standing up from his chair to pace, his eyes darkening as he continued to glare at the doctor. A moment later, Dean huffed, “Why can’t I have these stupid sessions with Cas? Huh? He seems like a better guy.”

“I don’t know what you mean…?” Castiel answered, his gaze searching for any hints of information on his patients face but he kept coming up blank. He felt disheartened and uncertain, feelings he didn’t appreciate.

“Talking to you at the bar is a lot easier than speaking to you here. Cas seems almost human but Dr Novak is just a dick.”

“Dean-”

But before the patient could hear Castiel’s reply, he had stormed out the room with the door slamming shut behind him, leaving the doctor agitated and repentant.

Castiel hadn’t planned on going out that night, it was his roommate, Anna, who dragged him along with a couple of her work friends. He knew how it would turn out; Anna and her friends talking to some guys and Cas sitting alone at the bar with a beer and a bowl of peanuts. So when Dean suddenly came up behind him, calling out “Dr Novak!” and slinging an arm around his shoulders, he knew it was going to be a rather unique night.

What the man didn’t expect was to enjoy himself. Meeting Sam and putting a face to the name, while also finding out how gigantic he was, was a great experience, but more so was the revelation of how liberated Dean was outside of their sessions. And that knowledge only made the doctor want to witness his elation again, only during their meetings.

But that seemed unattainable.