Sequel: Elysian ›
Status: In Progress
Restless Insomniacs
Yale
It is a small white flower, one from the garden at my house. And I hold it between my fingers watching it twirl. I wait for Daria to get her drink and come back to my car and me.
It is a Wednesday morning and the third morning in a row I have picked a white flower with the intention of giving it to Daria. It is also the third day in a row I have thrown it from my window replacing it with a cigarette. I hold the delicate flower by it’s small stem out my window and just as I am about to drop it something stops me, it is Daria.
She is sliding in next to me sipping that drink that must weigh more than her. I smile and pause, I want so desperately to hand Daria this flower and see her smile. “What are you waiting for?” She asks fiddling with the radio, I shrug my shoulders and let the flower fall to the hard concrete.
What am I waiting for? I am waiting for the moment Daria looks at me and sees me, really sees me. Not as Yale the boy who buys her drinks and picks her flowers with no intention of ever giving them to her. But the boy who fucked up, the boy who is always in trouble and whose heart and brain are misshapen and broken beyond repair.
What am I waiting for?
I am waiting for the moment Daria realises I am nothing and she is everything. I speed through a red light going right past the entrance for school I do not want to be stuck behind four walls. I don’t even know what I want all I know is Daria is beautiful and that’s enough. “I want to meet your nonna” I tell her glancing at her briefly, she smiles at me a smile that makes my uneasy heart skip a thousand beats, and I want to kiss her. I want to hold her hands and kiss every inch of her body until she is nothing but my kisses but I know I can’t, she is delicate and I can’t break her not yet not when I am falling in… falling in what Yale, I think with bitter resentment hitting hard at my heart, falling in what?
I shake away the thoughts and focus on Daria and the directions she is spurting from her wonderful lips. I wonder briefly what they taste like but I can’t focus, not when all I can feel is the air around me as if I am falling from a great height, maybe it is just the wind or maybe it is how Daria’s voice sounds as she speaks, I don’t know. I don’t think I want to know all I want is to kiss Daria, so fucking badly.
It is a Wednesday morning and the third morning in a row I have picked a white flower with the intention of giving it to Daria. It is also the third day in a row I have thrown it from my window replacing it with a cigarette. I hold the delicate flower by it’s small stem out my window and just as I am about to drop it something stops me, it is Daria.
She is sliding in next to me sipping that drink that must weigh more than her. I smile and pause, I want so desperately to hand Daria this flower and see her smile. “What are you waiting for?” She asks fiddling with the radio, I shrug my shoulders and let the flower fall to the hard concrete.
What am I waiting for? I am waiting for the moment Daria looks at me and sees me, really sees me. Not as Yale the boy who buys her drinks and picks her flowers with no intention of ever giving them to her. But the boy who fucked up, the boy who is always in trouble and whose heart and brain are misshapen and broken beyond repair.
What am I waiting for?
I am waiting for the moment Daria realises I am nothing and she is everything. I speed through a red light going right past the entrance for school I do not want to be stuck behind four walls. I don’t even know what I want all I know is Daria is beautiful and that’s enough. “I want to meet your nonna” I tell her glancing at her briefly, she smiles at me a smile that makes my uneasy heart skip a thousand beats, and I want to kiss her. I want to hold her hands and kiss every inch of her body until she is nothing but my kisses but I know I can’t, she is delicate and I can’t break her not yet not when I am falling in… falling in what Yale, I think with bitter resentment hitting hard at my heart, falling in what?
I shake away the thoughts and focus on Daria and the directions she is spurting from her wonderful lips. I wonder briefly what they taste like but I can’t focus, not when all I can feel is the air around me as if I am falling from a great height, maybe it is just the wind or maybe it is how Daria’s voice sounds as she speaks, I don’t know. I don’t think I want to know all I want is to kiss Daria, so fucking badly.
♠ ♠ ♠
unedited and awful.