Sequel: Elysian ›
Status: In Progress
Restless Insomniacs
Daria
I do not know what possessed me to follow a boy I haven’t spoken to since seventh grade to his car but something in me feels I can trust Yale. Something tells me he is different so I accept him hand and follow him wherever he takes me, which is his car funnily enough.
I sit next to him in the cramped quarters of the passenger seat, and I am not sure what I am doing here. I am about to make up some excuse to leave when he breaks the silence first, “Let me see your arm” He says softly, I glance at the ripped cardigan and then at Yale.
As pretty as my bruises are I am not yet ready to share them especially not with Yale who will no doubt judge me for loving them the way I do. So I make no effort to move and show Yale my multi-coloured arm so he grabs my hand and holds my arm out for inspection, his breath tickles the hair on my arm.
I cannot help but notice what perfect lips Yale has even with that silly lip ring, I cannot help but notice Yale’s offset nose with the little ball ring pierced through it, it looks as if it has been broken in the past. And I definitely can’t help but notice how he makes my breathing shallow.
I do not like the effect he is having on me, but I am not able to move with him holding my arm so delicately like it might break at any minute. He gently traces one of the bruises and sends a tingle up and down my spine. Alex never acknowledged my bruises, he pretended they weren’t there and it is nice to know I am not going insane imaging wounds that are not really there.
“What did you do love?” Yale asks a concerned look on his normally harsh face, he is making it hard for me to think and for some absurd reason I want to reach out and touch his face, like desperately. I want to feel the small layer of stubble around his mouth and chin but I don’t. I just stare back.
I am not sure what to answer because I am not really sure of what I did do or if I really did anything at all, all I know is I made a mistake and like always I got punished. “I’m… I’m not sure… I think he finally realised I don’t love him” I am not sure why I am being honest but the words simply tumble from my mouth and I am glad for once to finally be honest, to tell the truth, to tell my truth finally. That Alex Michaels is a monster and I got stuck in his path.
Yale turns away from me dropping my hand and at first I think I have done something wrong, that by telling the truth I have pushed away my saviour. But instead of being mad and yelling he simply turns the car on and starts the engine. I stare at the road wondering if leaving school with a total stranger is such a good idea but before I can voice my concerns he is driving off, leaving the school and my worries behind.
“Guys an arsehole” Yale says with a determined look on his face, I do not know why he cares about me or why after having everyone be so rough he is so gentle with me, like he understands I am on the verge of snapping in half and breaking forever, but I will admit it does feel nice. It is a feeling and a nicety I haven’t experienced in such a long time I realise that I actually miss it.
It hurts to admit.
“Yale?” I ask my voice meek, he glances at me and questions bubble within my stomach and my throat as I let myself feel comfortable with this virtual stranger, the most important question bubbling over and slipping out my mouth, “Why did you help me?”
“I’m not a total arsehole princess” He answers truthfully a small smile falls on both our faces and I turn back to stare at the road as we drive into the parking lot for a small lake. I have so much I want, need to ask Yale but for now I am content in comfortable yet restless silence, something I thought for sure in the past would kill me.
We sit in silence for feels like hours but is probably only minutes. I am no good in gauging time gaps it seems until I finally speak the words that are so simple to think but difficult to say that hold so much more than they say, and I really hope Yale understands, “Thank you”
“I come here sometimes” Yale tells me in response, he is not looking at me and I flush red with embarrassment maybe I shouldn’t have thanked him, he is refusing to acknowledge it at least I think until he continues sharing his own difficult truth with me, he talks with such sadness I feel sorry for the boy I once assumed was heartless, “When things get shitty”
I am not sure what he is referring to but I understand what he is trying to say without outright saying it. I understand the words but not their true intended meaning and for right now that is enough, to sit in comfortable silence with a perfect stranger. And I think his words might clue me into why I feel so comfortable with him, because Yale like me is broken and that is oh so comforting.
We drive back to school an hour later, we continue to sit in the same restless silence as earlier, Yale is the first to break it like earlier and I am eternally grateful I want so desperately to talk to him, get to know the callous boy that just proved to me he really is anything but.
“What do you have now princess?” I blank for a minute before remembering a maths test I have in about five minutes. I do not understand why he calls me princess, it is an odd nickname and I am not entirely sure it fits the way he seems to think it does.
“Why do you call me that?”
Yale laughs as if I have asked him the silliest question, I frown because I don’t appreciate being laughed at especially when I feel so vulnerable. I fight back tears and angry words but before I can protest and argue with him he is speaking and I am grateful he interrupted me, “What are you going to do once you get back to school?”
“That doesn’t answer my question”
“I don’t care” Yale says taking his eyes from the road for the first time since we left the park to stare at me, he grabs my hand and looks at the bruises for a moment before quickly turning his attention back to the road, he does not let my hand go though, not even as he changes gears. “Promise me something?”
I want to tell him anything because I am eternally grateful and indebted to him for saving me but think that is too intense and go for a cool alternative, “What?”
“That you won’t go back to him” Yale’s voice is filled with sadness and concern and I can’t understand it, obviously this isn’t just about me someone in Yale’s life, someone important to him as gone through something similar and as much as I want to agree with Yale’s request I can’t because I am addicted to Alex Michaels.
“I… I” I cannot promise that, I cannot make a promise to a perfect stranger and simply desert someone who depends on me so deeply, I just can’t.
The look in Yale’s eyes is one of pure heartbreak and I know now for sure this is about way more than me, and for some reason whilst I can’t say yes I also can’t say no. “What am I supposed to do?” I ask instead, I am not sure why Yale is asking me such strange requests or why I feel so obligated to fulfil them but I do and it is driving me insane.
I sit next to him in the cramped quarters of the passenger seat, and I am not sure what I am doing here. I am about to make up some excuse to leave when he breaks the silence first, “Let me see your arm” He says softly, I glance at the ripped cardigan and then at Yale.
As pretty as my bruises are I am not yet ready to share them especially not with Yale who will no doubt judge me for loving them the way I do. So I make no effort to move and show Yale my multi-coloured arm so he grabs my hand and holds my arm out for inspection, his breath tickles the hair on my arm.
I cannot help but notice what perfect lips Yale has even with that silly lip ring, I cannot help but notice Yale’s offset nose with the little ball ring pierced through it, it looks as if it has been broken in the past. And I definitely can’t help but notice how he makes my breathing shallow.
I do not like the effect he is having on me, but I am not able to move with him holding my arm so delicately like it might break at any minute. He gently traces one of the bruises and sends a tingle up and down my spine. Alex never acknowledged my bruises, he pretended they weren’t there and it is nice to know I am not going insane imaging wounds that are not really there.
“What did you do love?” Yale asks a concerned look on his normally harsh face, he is making it hard for me to think and for some absurd reason I want to reach out and touch his face, like desperately. I want to feel the small layer of stubble around his mouth and chin but I don’t. I just stare back.
I am not sure what to answer because I am not really sure of what I did do or if I really did anything at all, all I know is I made a mistake and like always I got punished. “I’m… I’m not sure… I think he finally realised I don’t love him” I am not sure why I am being honest but the words simply tumble from my mouth and I am glad for once to finally be honest, to tell the truth, to tell my truth finally. That Alex Michaels is a monster and I got stuck in his path.
Yale turns away from me dropping my hand and at first I think I have done something wrong, that by telling the truth I have pushed away my saviour. But instead of being mad and yelling he simply turns the car on and starts the engine. I stare at the road wondering if leaving school with a total stranger is such a good idea but before I can voice my concerns he is driving off, leaving the school and my worries behind.
“Guys an arsehole” Yale says with a determined look on his face, I do not know why he cares about me or why after having everyone be so rough he is so gentle with me, like he understands I am on the verge of snapping in half and breaking forever, but I will admit it does feel nice. It is a feeling and a nicety I haven’t experienced in such a long time I realise that I actually miss it.
It hurts to admit.
“Yale?” I ask my voice meek, he glances at me and questions bubble within my stomach and my throat as I let myself feel comfortable with this virtual stranger, the most important question bubbling over and slipping out my mouth, “Why did you help me?”
“I’m not a total arsehole princess” He answers truthfully a small smile falls on both our faces and I turn back to stare at the road as we drive into the parking lot for a small lake. I have so much I want, need to ask Yale but for now I am content in comfortable yet restless silence, something I thought for sure in the past would kill me.
We sit in silence for feels like hours but is probably only minutes. I am no good in gauging time gaps it seems until I finally speak the words that are so simple to think but difficult to say that hold so much more than they say, and I really hope Yale understands, “Thank you”
“I come here sometimes” Yale tells me in response, he is not looking at me and I flush red with embarrassment maybe I shouldn’t have thanked him, he is refusing to acknowledge it at least I think until he continues sharing his own difficult truth with me, he talks with such sadness I feel sorry for the boy I once assumed was heartless, “When things get shitty”
I am not sure what he is referring to but I understand what he is trying to say without outright saying it. I understand the words but not their true intended meaning and for right now that is enough, to sit in comfortable silence with a perfect stranger. And I think his words might clue me into why I feel so comfortable with him, because Yale like me is broken and that is oh so comforting.
We drive back to school an hour later, we continue to sit in the same restless silence as earlier, Yale is the first to break it like earlier and I am eternally grateful I want so desperately to talk to him, get to know the callous boy that just proved to me he really is anything but.
“What do you have now princess?” I blank for a minute before remembering a maths test I have in about five minutes. I do not understand why he calls me princess, it is an odd nickname and I am not entirely sure it fits the way he seems to think it does.
“Why do you call me that?”
Yale laughs as if I have asked him the silliest question, I frown because I don’t appreciate being laughed at especially when I feel so vulnerable. I fight back tears and angry words but before I can protest and argue with him he is speaking and I am grateful he interrupted me, “What are you going to do once you get back to school?”
“That doesn’t answer my question”
“I don’t care” Yale says taking his eyes from the road for the first time since we left the park to stare at me, he grabs my hand and looks at the bruises for a moment before quickly turning his attention back to the road, he does not let my hand go though, not even as he changes gears. “Promise me something?”
I want to tell him anything because I am eternally grateful and indebted to him for saving me but think that is too intense and go for a cool alternative, “What?”
“That you won’t go back to him” Yale’s voice is filled with sadness and concern and I can’t understand it, obviously this isn’t just about me someone in Yale’s life, someone important to him as gone through something similar and as much as I want to agree with Yale’s request I can’t because I am addicted to Alex Michaels.
“I… I” I cannot promise that, I cannot make a promise to a perfect stranger and simply desert someone who depends on me so deeply, I just can’t.
The look in Yale’s eyes is one of pure heartbreak and I know now for sure this is about way more than me, and for some reason whilst I can’t say yes I also can’t say no. “What am I supposed to do?” I ask instead, I am not sure why Yale is asking me such strange requests or why I feel so obligated to fulfil them but I do and it is driving me insane.