Restless Insomniacs

I walk into school late, honestly I wasn’t even sure I was going to show up this morning, but something had pulled me from bed ten minutes after my alarm rang out and I had found myself eating and showering to get ready for school a sight that hasn’t occurred before ten am in at least six months. I guess that might be because I never really had a reason to get out of bed before today but now I feel like I might, even if she is just a reminder of a painful event in my life, it is better than forgetting.

I make a beeline for the third classroom on the second floor of the main building of my local high school, it is not my classroom, no I wouldn’t be caught dead there. It’s literature but rather Daria’s.

I stand outside the door five minutes before the end of class and for a moment contemplate leaving, I really don’t owe Daria anything, yet if I really wanted to leave I could have by now and I here I still stand, waiting.

I glance in the classroom and notice Daria in the front row staring out the window, not paying attention to whatever the teacher is saying. Her dark hair is falling over her shoulders and for a second I forget how to breath, I want to punch myself for feeling so ridiculous over a stupid girl, they are dime a dozen.

The class ends and I realise I have been standing her for five minutes watching the back of Daria’s head, I duck out of view before she turns around and catches me creeping. She had sat alone in the classroom and like yesterday is the last one out of the classroom taking her time, this time however she is alone but like yesterday she has not noticed me.

I clear my throat and call out her name. “Daria” She turns at the sound of her name and her face changes from one of almost pure sadness to one featuring a small upturned lip, her green eyes boring into mine, I clear my throat feeling awkward under her stare.

“What are you doing here?” She asks as if she expected I would disappear from her life, like I assume someone else has leaving her a shell of her former self.

Whilst Daria and I never ran in the same social circles I still remember the happy girl who caught turtles down at the local lake and let them go before naming them. I remember she would skip everywhere and was always smiling I am so curious as to what made her lose her smile.

“Well yesterday I had the pleasure” I make a face to let her know I am being nice, “Of meeting your friends and I figured today you meet mine” Daria raises her eyebrows in question and of feeling unnerved by my statement.

My friends, unlike Daria and her squad, are known for being unsavoury characters with bad reputations and dangerous pasts, they like me are the outcasts of the town. The dregs of society floundering to stay afloat in this crazy world, which may be why I am so intrigued by Daria, she is from the exact opposite world as me and my friends yet she is floundering too. Desperate to stay afloat but failing along the way. She has everything handed to her yet she can barely manage a smile, it makes me wonder.

I grab her hand after we make a pit stop at her locker to drop off her books, it is morning recess and she looks nervous. We make our way past the school gym and athletics field to the back oval where a few kids are playing football, freshman I suspect not yet jaded to the world like the rest of us here on this oval.

I refrain from tripping them as they rush past me promising myself and silently Daria to be on my best behaviour, it is the least I can do when she is so clearly uncomfortable. I take her past the field goals and to the back of the old equipment shed that has been deserted for more than a decade but never removed and show her my circle of misfit friends.

“What is she doing here?” A voice asks, it belongs to the only other girl here, the only girl in this misfit of friends up until this point.

She sits with her flame red hair falling in her face her red lips staining an ever present cigarette, she blows smoke towards Daria’s direction letting her distaste be known while staring at me from underneath heavy eyes.

She is high like usual.

“She’s cool Remy” I tell her with authority in my voice silencing the girl’s protests.

Remy eyes me with surprise and jealousy. I remember belatedly as Remy’s eyes fall to my hand that I am still holding Daria’s hand and I normally reserve that for no one not even Remy who I kind of hook up with on a regular basis.

Whilst Remy and I are not together by any official means I suppose she is the closest I have come to a real girlfriend in quite some time, finding myself bored with every girl at the school, until now that is. I guess I can’t fault her for feeling jealous and insecure.

Remy rolls her eyes but stays silent taking the cigarette from between her lips and blowing more smoke in my general direction, I am suddenly desperate for a cigarette, “Daria this is everyone,” I say with a sweeping gesture,

Daria fidgets nervously next to me and I suddenly regret bringing her here. I don’t bring girls to my home or to meet my friends, and I certainly don’t hold their hands and feel this weird murmur in my chest as the sight of them.

The only reaction Remy can get out of my chest is when she is naked and kissing much below my midsection. But Daria, she is different and a part of me, okay a big part, wants her to see me, the real me and accept me for who I am because that’s what my sister always did and I am desperate for that kind of validation again, absolutely desperate.

Oli laughs from beside Remy and I drop Daria’s hand taking a step to the side trying to put distance between me and this odd little girl, I feel like a jerk. “I’m Oli,” He says with a smile squinting through the sun obviously intrigued to see the girl that I finally brought around.

Oli is my best friend, or the closest thing to it, we have known each other since birth practically and he has always had my back. I have a soft spot for the big dope head, even if he gets me in more trouble than I can comprehend most days.

“This is Keith and this is Remy” I introduce glancing again at Remy who is eyeing Daria with open hostility, without even realising Daria takes a step towards me and reaches for my hand again, I ignore the butterflies flying around my stomach at her cold touch. I ignore how much I like it.

“And her twin brother Stomper” I glance at Stomper who unlike his sister has still yet to look at Daria, he is too busy inspecting the bruises on my knuckles obviously wondering where they came from and why I got in a fight and didn’t invite him to join.

If nothing else Stomper loves to fight, I see Daria notice the large scar that traces down the side of Stompers face and wonder just what the story behind that is, I don’t think he has ever told me, neither has Remy which is odd because she talks… a lot.

“Daria” Keith muses obviously stoned out of his mind, “Is that Russian?” I sit down opposite my friends and tug on Daria’s arm motioning for her to join me, she does a beat later, I haven’t wanted to sit this close to a girl since seventh grade when Jenny Hoffer was the first girl to grow breasts in my grade.

“Italian” Daria answers staring at a blade of grass in front of her,
I take a cigarette from my jacket pocket and take a long drag not offering it around because I don’t share, which is why it was so odd last night when I had offered this girl my cigarette and in a sense a part of myself, I haven’t shared a cigarette with anyone since my sister…

“Are you Italian princess?” I ask for no purpose than other to change the direction of my thoughts, Daria looks at me and smiles, really smiles for the first time and I just know she is remembering someone or something and I can’t help but smile with her, her smile is purely infectious.

“My dad is…Was...” She says correcting herself quickly, Remy lets out a bark of laughter and I pin her to silence with a deadly glare. I frown looking away from Remy and wondering what the story is behind Daria’s dad, she had told me last night she doesn’t speak of him and I have the strangest urge to pull the truth from her like pulling teeth.

I frown uncomfortable with how comfortable I feel around Daria maybe I just need to get laid.