My Heart's Always With You Now.

“I can not wait to get you home” I chuckled as we sat in the car on the way home from the ball. She sat in the corner pushed up against the door sobbing to herself quietly. The car ride felt as though it was never going to end, the excitement I felt at being able to punish her was overwhelming.

“Have fun” Zacky smirked as the guys walked past with their girls off to bed. Bethany put a comforting hand on Lauren's shoulder whispering a few words that were inaudible to me. I clasped her arm tightly yanking her towards the stairs.

“Up now!”

She obeyed in an instance and started clambering up the stairs before stopping when she reached the top, I led her towards the end of the hall and pushed her through the door. “Please don't hurt me” She cried holding her hands up in front of her face in some weak attempt to protect herself.

“Hurt you?” I asked walking close to her and running my hand down her face softly. Her hands lowered and her eyes lifted to meet mine. I kissed her forehead gently before placing my mouth next to her ear, “Sweetheart, I'm going to fucking break you”.

She whimpered in fear and closed her eyes as I shoved her onto the floor and stood over her, “I'm sorry Shadows!”. Oh you will be sorry when I'm done with you. I lifted my foot before slamming it into her side and causing her to howl out loudly in pain.

“Shut the fuck up, if you keep everyone awake you'll make life so much harder for you in the morning”

I walked towards the cabinet in my bedroom and opened the door. I looked through my belongings before grabbing the item I wanted. I stalked towards her, the blade glistening as the light hit it and bounced back off. “Oh my god no!” She begged dragging her body away from me and towards the wall.

“Aww, I promise it wont hurt” I said sarcastically pulling her by her legs so she was laying flat on the floor. I got on top of her placing my legs either side of her waist to stop her moving. I used my left arm to hold her arms down while twirling the knife in my right hand. I viciously moved the blade so it was pressed against her neck, digging in so slightly.

Her breathing became rapid and her chest started to rise and fall quicker than before, I loved the fear on her face. I slowly dragged the knife across the skin on the side of her neck causing a trail of blood to slowly start seeping out, “Please! You don't have to do this!”.

“Oh I know I don't” I laughed sadistically, “But I want too”. I stuck the knife in the front of the dress and pulled it upwards causing the dress to rip into two sections and expose her bra as the fabric fell to her sides. Her eyes squeezed shut, tears dripping out of them and onto the carpet. I leered over her face, I wanted her to be fully aware of what I was doing, “open your eyes”.

She opened her eyes, her body shaking beneath me. I gave a victorious smirk and slid the knife across the top of her breast leaving a gash in its departure. She bit on her lip clearly in pain but continued to keep her eyes open, looking anywhere she could that wasn't me. I spun her over so she was laying on her front and tore the dress completely off her body. I discarded it to the side of the room and smirked down at her.

I ran the cold blade down her spine making her shudder and thrash around trying to get out of my grip. I grabbed her hair and slammed her face down on the floor making her whimper again. I lifted my hand and slapped it down on the cheek of her bum making her wince, I felt satisfied when I saw a deep red hand print start to emerge in the porcelain color of her skin. I took the knife and dragged it down her back digging it in deeply. I carved into her, leaving a mark so that she knew not to double cross me again. By the time I was finished no one would want her, she would be degraded like the girls downstairs.

I stepped back and admired the work I had done on her back. “Now I'm going to bed, sleep quietly and stop fucking crying. And don't even think about getting into my bed, I'll cut your fucking limbs off this time”. She pulled her legs up to her chest and cried harder than I'd ever seen a girl cry before. Or anyone for that matter. I rolled my eyes and got into bed making sure to put the knife away and lock the cabinet.

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“Morning” I smiled as I walked into the kitchen the next morning, everyone turned to look at me, concern written on their faces, “what?”.

“Why are you so happy?” Zack laughed putting the newspaper down and crossing his arms in front of him, “did someone get lucky last night?”. He sent a little wink my way causing my face to distort into disgust.

“With her?” I scoffed, “yeah I don't think so. She'd be so lucky”.

“What happened with her?” Zacky asked, he pushed his glasses further up his nose and took a deep breath. He knew what I was capable of. I could be sick when I wanted to be and he knew that. Hell, everyone knew that. He looked worried – whether it was for my sanity or the girl upstairs I wasn't sure, but he had no need to be.

“I taught her a lesson” I smiled smugly biting into the bit of toast that was in front of me, “and I think it's safe to say she will NEVER do it again”. His face dropped and a look of pain took over his face.

“You didn't hurt her too bad did you Matt?” he questioned. Silence over took us as I contemplated my answer. Did I hurt her that bad? She was silent when I woke up this morning, her cries had stopped after a few hours so I was guessing that the pain had subsided a considerable amount.

“No. No I didn't”

As if on cue Bethany came running down the stairs throwing everything that got into her path, including a few of the girls. Everyone stared after her confused as to what had caused her to be so furious. “YOU!” She growled pointing her finger in my direction angrily, I raised an eyebrow waiting for her to continue, “you are one evil, twisted, sick son of a bitch!”.

Zackys eyes widened in confusion, “what have you done now Matt?”.

“What has he done?!” Bethany retorted, she stepped closer to me and shoved me backwards nearly making me fall off my chair. I steadied myself before turning to her frowning, “you've ruined that poor girl! Her body is a mess Matt! You've ripped her to fucking shreds!”. Zacky leaped up off the seat and ran up the stairs, I rolled my eyes and followed after him.

“Oh my god” Zacky gasped walking in and leaning down next to Laurens body, she was shivering obviously having lost a lot of blood. He turned to me angrily, “Matt, we need to move her downstairs by the fire and we need to get someone to come check on her”.

“Just leave her Zack, she's fine!” I protested.

“Matt, do not argue with me right now. I swear to fucking god if you don't carry her downstairs for me NOW I will kill you my fucking self!” He snapped, I sighed and picked her up, not really caring if I hurt her even more, once we'd entered the living room I dropped her on the sofa making her scream in agony.

“What's going on?” Brian asked walking in. Bethany just pointed in the direction of the sofa and shook her head in disappointment. Brian curiously walked over to the sofa and froze when he saw her body, “you are a fucking cunt!”.

“Ouch Bri, words hurt” I muttered rolling my eyes, “cry me a fucking river”.

“You do realize that it's going to scar her? She's NEVER going to be able to get rid of that Matt. She won't be able to wear backless clothing, heck she won't even be able to go to the beach in a swimming costume any more” Brian sighed, he looked at me ashamed. Zacky walked in sharing a look with Brian as he did, behind him was the gang doctor, his eyes widening as he saw the mark on her back.

The doctor cleared it up the best he could, Lauren's constant flinching made it difficult as she wouldn't let him touch the deeper part of the cuts.

“I think we need to talk” Brian sighed, Zacky stood next to him, arms crossed and a stern look on his face. I groaned in annoyance wanting to just go back to bed. The three of us walked into the garden, spreading around on the benches. Minutes later Johnny and Jimmy walked out, anger on their faces also. I didn't understand their problem with the situation, none of them really cared about her.

“Would someone like to explain why she has the words whore sliced into her back?” Jimmy asked, his face one of shock and disgust.

“I sorted her out didn't I” I smiled cracking my knuckles.

“I don't bloody believe this” Jimmy sarcastically let out a laugh and turned to me, he slammed his fists down on the table in front of him, “damn it Matt! You can't just do things like that!”.

“Actually, I fucking can. Last time I remembered this was MY gang, my operation, my work and my fucking house. If you don't like how I run things around here then you're more then welcome to piss off” I snarled, the guys shook their heads obviously expecting a different answer.

“I'm not leaving for the sake of them girls” Jimmy whispered, “but if you lay another finger on her or any of the other girls for that matter, then I will personally put a bullet through your forehead”.

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I walked up the stairs stopping at her bedroom and peeked around the corner of her door. Her body was still shaking, her back was turned to me allowing me to see the full extent of what I had done. I slowly walked into the room being careful not to wake her up.

With shaking fingers I gripped the blanket and pulled it tightly around her making sure not to wake her up. I closed the curtains in the room and flicked the light switch off leaving her surrounded by darkness. I felt confused now. I was confused about the fact that one girl could make me regret something. I had never regretted doing anything – especially not when it involved acts of violence.

I was a violent person and always had been. If I felt as though I would achieve something then I would happily do it. And I knew that through showing her a certain level of violence, she would learn and would grow to understand that the way she had acted was unacceptable. However, seeing her innocently laying there, no sarcastic comments leaving her mouth, it made it harder for me to accept the fact that I had done what I had done.

It was unnecessary. I knew that. Everyone knew that.

I felt scared for the first time in ages. I felt afraid for her. This had proved that she could drive me to insane lengths and could make me turn into an animal. A monster. Someone that I had never been before and could not stand to be. It scared me because I knew that no matter how much I wanted to keep her safe from now on, there was a part of me that would snap at her. And next time she may not get off so lucky.