Our Pain Will Shine a Light

Chapter 14
Ashley's POV
The next morning.

"No, it's fine. Just find anything. He won't mind, seriously. You're going to wake him up so go."

I heard Matt whisper a reply and the door closed with a soft click. I felt Andy move to sit up and with a lazy effort I reached out to grab his arm.

"Don't go."

He sighed and crawled back in bed with me.

"Good Morning."

"Hey, Autumn. What time is it?"

"Just 7:30. You have to go see about that job today at 10."

"Yeah I know. You're coming with me too by the way."

"Why?"

"I have to keep an eye on you, and if you see something you like, we can save up for it."

"Okay, but if it's too expensive, I won't even think about it."

"Fair enough."

We laid there for a few more minutes when I finally decided to get up.

I pushed the overs off of myself, and I heard Andy suck in a breath and his eyes trailed down to letters arched across my stomach. OUTLAW

"See something you like Autumn?"

He covered his face in embarrassment, and I snorted before opening the door and leaving him alone. I went to the bathroom first then I made my way to the kitchen. Matt was patiently standing beside the coffee machine.

"Hey Ash. I made coffee. Hope you don't mind."

"Of course I don't. Want any toast or anything?"

"No, I'm fine, but I need to talk to you about something."

"Alright, go for it."

"I'm going to rehab in Northside."

"Northside? That's a way from here."

"I know, but I'm telling you this so you can tell Andy. I can't bring myself to do it because he can't come with me. He's better off here with you."

"Wait you want me to tell him that? Why can't you?"

"Because I just can't handle it. He's like a brother to me, and I know he'll try to follow me. Again, I want him here with you."

I looked at him for a second and sighed.

"Alright Matt. Good luck."

"Thank you for everything. Tell Andy that I love him. My phone still works, and I'll get in touch with him soon."

"Okay."

"Take care of him. I don't care what he does. Don't give up on him. Please."

"I won't, and that's a promise. Now don't forget this."

He grabbed his coffee from my hand and walked out of the front door. Oh god. I did not want to explain this to Andy, but I didn't really have a choice.

Sighing, I got two cups out of the cabinet and poured coffee into both of them. I fixed mine to my liking and cut up an apple to eat. Andy came into the kitchen about ten minutes later.

"Hey, is it alright if I wear this shirt today?"
He said holding a shirt up to his skinny frame.

"Yeah, you can wear whatever's in there. How do you want your coffee?"

"Black, little sugar. Where's Matt?"

"Why don't you go shower then we'll talk about it."

"Talk about what? Where is he?"

"Come sit down."

"No. Tell me. Now."

"Alright fine. Matt's going to rehab in Northside, and he didn't want to tell you because he knew you'd try follow him. He wants you to stay here with me."

"Stay here with you? Ashley I like you a lot, but he's my best friend. I have to go with him."

"Andrew, that's not what he wants for you."

"I'm a grown man! I don't need Matt to make my decisions!"

"But I want you here too."

His anger faded quickly, and he looked down at his feet then back up at me.

"You do?"

"Of course I do. I'm not lonely anymore. I don't think about mom all day and drink my feelings away because I've been worried about you. Please stay here. I can go get that job and I can support us. After all, you said this was home. Remember?"

He looked at me for a moment then a grin made its home on his face.

"When did you get all soft?"

"I guess you do it to me," I confessed.

He walked closer to me, grabbed my hands, and pulled me close resting his forehead on mine.

"You know, you're one of the best people who've walked into my life."

"Same here Andy," I closed the gap between us and connected our lips. I felt him smile into it and then we pulled away. "I should probably go get dressed."

"Yeah you should."

He kissed me again, and I pranced towards the bathroom, ready to shower.

_____________________________________

"This is the place. Mitchell's Music Mansion."

"Try saying that five times fast," Andy joked to himself, and after briefly going straight faced, he snickered.

"You're nerdy, you know that?"

"Shut up." His face was serious, but I knew he was only kidding.

We walked through the doors and started looking around. The place was nice for it to be on this side of town. Each area was sectioned off for your musical needs, and the prices weren't bad either.

"My dad played bass before he left. He had one like that," I told Andy pointing to one of the guitars mounted on the wall.

"My dad bought me a thunderbird when I was 15. Looked exactly like Nikki's Gibson that he used to play, but mine was white."

"That's neat. Did you bring it to Cali with you?"

"I did, but those punks stole it when they beat me up."

"How come you didn't tell me?"

"Didn't see a need."

I looked at him, ready to open my mouth, but a man walked over to us.

"Excuse me. You two talking about a Gibson Thunderbird, with the black stings and painted white?? Got AB scratched into it? Over there under the used sign."

Andy looked from the black haired man to the direction of the USED GUITARS 15% OFF sign and rushed to the area.

"Ashley this is mine! This is it!"

"Well since it does seem that way, I'll give you 50% off," The man said.

"Ashley, this is what I want to buy. I want it back."

"Then I guess we're getting it...right after I apply for the job. I'm Ashley Purdy,"

I shook the mans hand, and he nodded.

"I figured. CC sent you over right? I would bother to give you an interview, but since I almost kinda own this place, you've got the job. Jacob Pitts, but call me Jake."

"Jake. So you own the place?"

"Kinda, but not really. My granddad's best friend owned this place, but he gave it to his son and so on. Our family's were always so close that now one of my good friends owns it, but he travels a lot and can't keep up with the place so that's my job. I'm a co-owner if you'd like to use that term."

"Oh, well thanks. You already know I'm Ashley, and this is Andy, Andy Biersack. That's his guitar up there. It got stolen."

"Stolen? I didn't know that. There's a kid who works here, and he was doing all the work and stuff. I didn't realize that he didn't bother to check. I figured it was alright because it was already here, but we don't take stolen goods. I'll have to talk to him about that."

"So them how much did you price it for?" Andy asked.

"Well, it's very similar to Nikki's. There are a couple of different things of course, mainly the color, but everything else is to a T. The fact that it's older makes it better. We priced it at about 800."

"800?" Andy exclaimed.

"Your old man probably paid more, but since Ashley here is now a new employee, I'll take off 50%"

"400? I'm not going to let you pay that Ashley."

"But, it did seem to be stolen and it goes against our policy so, I'll let you have it free."

"Free?" Andy and I both said at the same time.

"Only if Ashley here agrees to work Tuesday though Saturday. We don't open on Sunday, and I'll be here Monday, but not on Saturday. For this job, you need knowledge on music. For example, a kid comes in, he shows you his guitar and says he needs a replacement for his 3rd string. What string do you get him?"

I only had to think about it for two seconds, but I answered fairly quickly.

"A G string."

I heard Andy chuckle to himself, but Jake didn't seem to notice.

"Good. I take that you already know a lot about guitar, but what about wind instruments?"

"I have a little knowledge. Try me."

"Alright. A kid comes in with a saxophone, and they say they can't get a sound on the reed. What would you look for?"

"Well I'd ask how long they've been playing on the reed. Then'd I'd ask how long they've been playing so I could check the size. And brand name is important too. Sometimes it's really that you're not adjusting your lips correctly."

"Alright. They've been playing for 2 years. What size do you give them?"

"It really all depends, but I'd recommend a 2 1/2."

"Very good. Last question. An old man comes in with a Beetles Vinyl. He wasn't to sell it to us. What do you say to him."

"I don't know."

"'I'm sorry sir, we don't take vinyl or cd, but I can recommend Sid's across the street. Tell him an employee from Mitchell's sent you."

"Oh. Alright. Cool them. When do I start?"

"Two days sound okay? I'll be here so you can always call on me. We don't have a uniform, but you fit in just fine right now. Thanks."

"No, thank you. C'mon Andrew."

"Wait, my bass."

"Oh right. I have your case back here."

_____________________________________

When we got home, Andy used the rest of the day to nap, and I watched a couple of movies. When Andy finally woke up, he fixed himself some coffee and took a seat beside me on the couch. I smiled and kissed his cheek to have him turn around and kiss me back but on the lips, and he laid his head on my shoulder.

"Ashley, I'm being serious when I say how thankful I am for you. You're really something."

"I'm thankful for you too. You do something to me, and I have yet to figure out what it is."

He gave me a soft smile and that gaze that he held right before he kisses me. I cupped his face and connected his lips to mine. When I thought we'd pull away, he pulled me closer and deepened this kiss. I was caught off guard and opened my eyes, but his were closed. I let myself go and pulled him in my lap. Our kissing session quickly turned into a frenzy to get closer to each other. He pulled away from me and lifted my shirt off. His hands roamed over my bear chest, and he was sucking on my neck.

I felt myself getting aroused, so I stopped him.

"What is it?" He asked, a panicked look in his eyes.

"Nothing. Just not in here."

I stood up balancing myself with him in my arms, and I rushed to my room. Throwing him on the bed, I balanced myself on top of him, and we continued where we left off.

His shirt came off, them my pants and then his. When I realized this was really happening I started to reach for the condoms in the drawer, but then I thought about it.

"Andy."

"What is it?" He asked again, his chest rising and falling quickly.

"You said you haven't been with a man, but have you been with anyone else at all?"

He looked up at me for a second and shook his head.

"No." He answered quickly.

Shit

"Andrew, we need to stop."

"W–Why?"

"You're still a virgin. You should do this with someone you love."

"But Ashley I—"

"Andy."

"You're right."

I rolled over on his side and prayed that my problem would go away.

"I'm sorry. I just don't want you to regret it later."

"I understand." His voice was shaky, and I cursed myself for it.

"I'm sorry." I said again.

"It's alright."

"It isn't. I should have stopped it before it became something."

"Ash..."

"What?"

"Shut up."

Even though I was upset with myself I still managed to crack a smile.

"Deal."