Our Pain Will Shine a Light

Andy's POV
I woke up with an intake of breath and a good stretch. When I accidentally kicked ashley, he woke up too. He hugged his pillow to his chest and without even opening his eyes he smiled.
"Good morning Autumn."

"Morning Ash."

"Sleep well?"

"Mm...of course I did."

"Last night was great," He said, pushing my hair out of my face and finally showing his eyes.

“Yeah, it was.”

I put my hands behind my head and stared up at the ceiling with a smug look on my face.

"You were so beautiful, you know."

"Gross. Shut up."

"Making you nervous?"

"Shut up!" I laughed covering my face to hide further embarrassment. I threw my pillow at him, and he rolled on top of me and our bare skin rubbed together.

"Don't forget that you're still in the bed with me."

"Oh my god, you didn't say that to me."

"Yeah too weird. ”

He rolled completely off the bed and stood up. I smiled and propped my head on my elbow enjoying the view.

"I don't have to go in today and you don't have to work until later, so what do you want to do today?"

"Don't know. I think mom and dad are leaving today though. I have to see them."

"You can call them over right now. While we get dressed they'll be on their way."

"Alright. And later can we go see Matt? We haven't been out there yet and I really want to see him."

"Sure. Of course we can. Now, are you going to make me shower alone or are you going to stop being lazy and join me?"

_____________________________________

"Ashley, this is too fancy!"

"No it isn't! You look good in blue."

Ashley had me in a blue vest and a black undershirt. It did look good on me, but today was a casual day.

"We're not going to a wedding!"

"No, we're not, so don't button the vest and roll up the sleeves."

"Fine."

I fixed the outfit to my liking before turning around and posing.

"Beautiful."

"Thank you."

There was a knock on the door and Ashley stood up.

"I'll go get it."

I straightened my collar in the mirror and walked into the living room to greet my parents.

"Hey sHow are you?"

"I'm...I'm great. I'm doing really really good."

I looked at Ashley whose smug face read 'I made him feel that good'

My face turned red at remembering last night's events, but it was only out of embarrassment. Ashley's grabbed my hand and we sat down in the same spots from the other night.

"So how have you two been getting along since yesterday?" Dad asked, looking at me specially with a grin, but a serious look in his eyes that only me and mom would recognize.

"Great." I said for the 50th time today.

"Well good. So Andy, what we talked about yesterday."

"Ashley, doesn't know yet Amy."

"Oh, he does. We've talked about it. Mom, Dad, I love you guys a lot which is why I can't go back. Going back home without Ash would put me back in the same position I was in. And besides, I can't leave the man I love here."

Ashley's smile went from ear to ear and his eyes sparkled. My mom looked a bit surprised, but dad just smiled with pride.

"Glad to hear it son."

"We're in love and I can't bring myself to leave him here."

"We don't expect you to Andy." Dad said again.

"Mom?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I completely understand."

"But?"

"But I miss you so so much. I know where you are, but I don't get to see your face everyday."

I grabbed Ashley's hand, squeezed it and held it up for them to see.

"But mom, I'm in love. I've never felt like I could be myself with someone. I can tell Ashley to shut up and he doesn't get offended because he knows that I don't mean it, but he does know when I do mean things and he laughs at my stupid jokes and he can make fun of himself and he's such a romantic and I love him. I love him. This man with the tattooed fingers and arms and long soft hair and oh god. Am I rambling? I'm rambling."

"You really think all of that?"

"Yeah."

"Well I love you too."

Oh god am I crying right now? Ash squeezed my hand again and kissed my cheek.

"I didn't realize. I'm sorry for being so selfish," Mom said.

"It's okay. So you're leaving tonight?"

"Yeah, at 8."

"Well do you remember Matt? Ashley and I are going to go see him. You can come with us."

"Yeah sure. When are we going?"

I looked at Ashley and he shrugged.

"We can go now if you want."

_____________________________________

We drove in separate cars on the way to the rehab center. We got there first and waited for mom and dad before we walked in. I was kinda dismayed at the conditions of the place.

"Ash this place is a dump."

"It could be worse. Your parents are here now anyway let's go."

When walking inside I expected it to feel like a doctors office, but in reality it was more like a bowling ally. It was a little dark, and the furniture was dingy. Ash asked for matts room number and we walked down a hallway or two before we got to it. His door was closed, but he opened up after a couple of knocks.

"Why the hell are—Andy?"

"Hello to you too buddy."

He laughed, punched me in the arm, and hugged me. He noticed Ashley as hugged him too, but paused when he saw my parents.

"Mr. and Mrs. B? Oh my god! How are you two?"

"We're good. Glad to see you're doing well too."

"Yep. Almost a month of being sober. It's not a lot but it's something. So Andy finally got the guts to call you. How did that happen."

"It was Ashley actually." Dad said.

"Yeah, I didn't tell him until they were two hours away."

"Good move. Knowing Andy, he would have tried to run off. Why are we standing out here anyway, I'd invite you in, but it's kinda messy in there. There's a couple of tables out back, follow me."

We sat around for about an hour or two before we had to leave. Matt and I shared a brotherly hug and it ended with me wiping tears from his eyes. Poor baby. I promised him that he'd be out in no time.

My parents had to drive back to their hotel. It was heartbreaking that I couldn't watch them leave, but seeing them was enough for me.

It was after work and Ash and I were getting ready for bed. He was digging though his drawer looking for pajama bottoms when he knew just as well as I did that he's sleep in his underwear. I just liked to watch him though.

"Hey Ash?"

"Yeah?"

"You know that I love you right?"

"Of course I do."

"Good. I'm going to sleep."

"Fuck it, I'll just sleep like this. And goodnight. I love you."

I smiled as he climbed in beside me and we shared a good night kiss. I watched him long after he fell asleep and only happy thoughts crossed my mind that night.