Our Pain Will Shine a Light

Chapter 7
Ashley's POV

After Andy's withdrawal fit was over he fell asleep, and I carried him to my room. He quickly cuddled himself around my pillow which made me smile. I put a bottle of water and an Advil beside him just in case he might need it. Taking a blanket out of my closet, I started for the door when Andy opened his eyes.

"Stay with me." He mumbled.

"Okay. Go back to sleep. I'm here."

He waited until I was tucked in beside him to smile softly and close his eyes again. I sighed and reached out to push his wild hair behind his ear.

"I don't know what it is with you Andy Biersack, but you intrigue me."

I swear I saw a twitch of a smile before I too closed my eyes.
_____________________________________

"Ashley! Ashley please!"

I groaned and rolled over thinking I was dreaming then realization hit me. I turned over to my side, my instinct telling me that Andy needed help but he was still there, and the rise and fall of his chest was normal.

"Ashley please!"

I realized the noise was coming from the front door. Getting out of bed and opening the door, I realized it was Matt and he looked horrible.

"Matt what–"

"Ashley, where's Andy? Have you seen him? He wasn't answering his phone and his car is a wreck and I can't–"

"Hey, hey, calm down. Andy's here. He's sleeping in my room."

Relief washed over his face only to be replaced by anger.

"Ashley, he's just 19! He's a kid! I didn't know you would even—"

"Matt! I didn't sleep with him. He was having withdrawal symptoms, and he fell asleep on the couch. I didn't want him in the living room, so I took him to my room."

"Oh."

"You can come in if it would ease your worries.

He looked down at his dirty and wrinkled clothes and rubbed a hand through his hair.

"I couldn't–"

"C'mon. I'll give you some clothes, and you can have a shower."

He though it over for a moment and threw his hands up.

"Alright. Thanks Ashley. Thank you for watching over Andy too. I'm just trying to keep him alive for his family back in Ohio."

"I understand."

"He's troubled Ashley. He needs help, but he has too much potential to end up like me," Before I could make a protest he moved past me and to my bathroom that he knew well. "Oh and by the way, Andy loves coffee. It's been a while since he's had any. You should make him some."

"Yeah. Thanks. I will."

He nodded at me before closing the bathroom door.

I shut the front door and made my way to the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot, and after a couple of minutes the coffee was done. I fixed it to my liking and leaned against the counter taking small sips.

"Ashley?" A tired voice called from inside the living room.

"In here," I answered.

Andy's sleepy figure appeared in the archway of the kitchen.

"Ashley, I'm craving."

I put my hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes.

"Don't be afraid of it. I know it's hard but you have to fight it."

"How can I? I don't trust myself."

"Well I trust you. It'll be alright okay?"

He nodded his head and made a face.

"Ashley, who's in the bathroom?"

"Oh, Matt came over losing his shit because he couldn't find you. I told him to take a shower."

"Oh. That was nice of you... And is that coffee?"

"Yeah. Help yourself. I'll cook for you. Anything you like?"

"No, I'm not that hungry."

"You haven't eaten anything since yesterday morning I'm assuming."

He didn't say anything so I rolled my eyes and got eggs out the refrigerator.

"Ashley, I said I wasn't hungry."

"Who's to say that Matt isn't?"

He rolled his eyes and grabbed his coffee only adding a couple spoons of sugar. After making eggs, fixing a plate, and silently handing it to Andy who didn't protest at all unlike earlier, I went to my room to find clothes for Matt who was still in the bathroom doing his hair, I'm guessing.

"Ashley," I heard Andy's voice from behind me. I grabbed a random shirt from the closet and sat it aside, looking at Andy with concern.

"What is it?" I asked. A tear rolled down his face, and I approached him, wrapping my arms around his skinny body.

"Ashley, my parents," he sobbed.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"N–no...I just–I miss them so much, and I can't go back like this! They can't see me this way!"

"I know how you feel, but you still have a chance Andy."

"N–no I don't. My parents hate me now."

"That's bullshit. It'll be alright, okay?"

He nodded, looking into my eyes with those big blues. I used my thumbs to wipe them.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Always," I hugged him, and we stood there for a while before Matt walked in.

"Am I interrupting?"

Andy pulled away and smiled at me, shaking his head.

"No, you weren't. Ashley, do you have any paper?"

"Uh, yeah," I turned around and opened a drawer pulling out a brand new notebook, and I grabbed a pen off the top of the desk. "Here you go. Keep it."

"Thank you," he said smiling at taking the notebook from me.

Matt looked at us as if we'd lost it. Then he spoke, "Hey, Andy, let me have a word with Ashley here."

"Eh yeah," He said then he walked out of the room.

Matt waited until Andy was down the hallway to shut the door and gave me a glance.

"Something did happen between you two. Andy's smiling like an idiot, and I have never seen his face that red," His face was red? "Look I don't care what happened between you two, but all I'm saying is leave it. He's not yours to have."

"Not mine to have? Do you and him have something? I'm pretty sure he would have ran that by me."

"No. We don't. I don't even feel for him like that, but he's living a dangerous life. As long as he's on the stuff it controls him. I've seen a lot of people pick drugs over their friends and family. You need to leave him alone."

"I will not. I like Andy, and he's too–I won't let him ruin himself like my–"

"Ashley, is this about your mom? He's not your mother," That comment stunned me. Minus Andy and Roberta, Matt was the only other person who knew about my mom, I think he noticed my expression and he apologized. "Dude, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"No you shouldn't have," I said sounding more angry than I meant, "Your clothes are right there. I'll be in the front with Andy."

I walked out and shut the door behind me before he could say anything. Andy was sitting cross legged on the couch writing away in the notebook. When I approached him, he shut it hastily, but I didn't think anything of it. I can respect his privacy.

"Thank you. For everything. I feel better, but I'm still sore from that fight," He told me, his blue eyes shinning.

"I'll give you some icy hot for that."

I started to get up, but Andy grabbed my arm.

"Get it later. I want to be with you for as long as I can."

"Well too bad. We have to go Andy," Matt said appearing out of nowhere.

"Matt–"

"Andy we have to go."

"But I don't want to leave here. I don't want to."

"You're coming with me and that's final!"

"I'll be back okay? Thank you," he said in a rush, heading towards Matt who was already out the door.

"Wait Andy–"

Before I could finish, he kissed me, smiled, grabbed his notebook, and left.