Trade

Only a few hours. Only a few hours until he'd be back. I was nervous, but so excited.

The past week we'd been talking on the phone every single day at some point, Oli hadn't been strange or upset again, which I was very glad about, and the tension was rising. I wondered what would happen when he got back, I wanted to kiss him again so badly. I wanted him back and in a few hours he'd be all mine once more.

Also, Matthew and I had got really close, I thought he was telling the truth, and seeing as he'd introduced me properly to Gates, who's actual name was Syn, and several other of his friends, and he'd helped me get back in touch with Vic and my other friends, I was nothing short of believing him.

I'd got changed into some new clothes, and was preparing dinner when the doorbell rang. I jogged to it - something I was extremely grateful I could do now - and Oli was standing there with his bags, that cheeky smile on his face and the twinkle in his eye.
I felt a grin spread across my own face and leapt forwards, he dropped his bags and grabbed onto me tightly, arms round my waist.

"God I missed you." He said, voice coming out choked up and hoarse, muffled by my neck. I pulled back and kissed him, breathing in his smell and feeling his rough yet somehow soft lips on mine again.

"You too-" He kissed me again, and we found ourselves on the couch in no time, eagerly unbuttoning each other's clothes. Oli suddenly pulled back, breathing heavily.

"What is it?"

"Are you sure? This is our first time I don't want it to be...I don't want...are you ready?" I pushed myself forwards on his lap again, forcing a groan from his lips.

"Yes I am. I've been waiting for you since you went on tour, it's been months, I need you."

"Fine, but let's go upstairs." We made our way up the stairs, falling into his bed in a tangle of limbs.

"Fuck your hands are cold." He mumbled as they ran down his back, relishing the feel of his skin on mine.

"Sorry."

It all happened so fast, quite embarrassingly fast to be honest, but Oli couldn't find it in himself to endure for any longer either. We both lay there, panting, hot, sweaty, hearts pounding in our cheats, the last dregs of arousal pumping through our most sensitive areas.

"Fuck..." He groaned, I laughed and coughed, rolling over.

"Yeah. Wow."

"Are you-"

"If you ask me if I'm ok, I will decapitate you." He laughed and pulled me on top of him for more kisses, our hips shuddering against one another every so often beginning to stir arousal in the both of us again.

We ended up skipping dinner.

Three times, let's just say we both slept pretty well for what was left of that night.

The next morning, I woke up, happiness slowly drifting through me. I looked up to see Oli staring into space, I sat up and he looked at me, smiling and pecking my lips.

"Morning."

"Hey, how are you this morning?" I smiled.

"I'm great. You?"

"Same. Wanna do something today? Let's do something crazy!!!"

"I had enough crazy last night." He giggled at me and pecked my cheek, a hand stroking down the side of my body gently, tickling me.

The rest of the day we lounged about and exchanged kisses, touches, and a few sexual acts, that night we had sex again. I couldn't have been any happier, just that I felt normal again, and I was so in love with Oli it was unreal.

So the next morning, I reached across the bed to find Oli but he wasn't there. It took me a few seconds to wake up properly and pull on boxers, wandering down the stairs to find him. None of the lights were on, the heating was off, the cold made me wince, but I couldn't be bothered to go back upstairs and get dressed now.

I went into the kitchen and he was sat there, on a bar stool, over a cup of coffee that had gone cold hours ago. His eyes were wide, unblinking, and he looked exhausted and drained.
"Oli?" His eyes flickered to me.
"Are you alright?"

"Oh god....Kel I'm so sorry..." He welled up and trailed off, a hand rooting it's way into his hair as his head lowered slightly to rest on his other arm.

"What's wrong? What's happened?"

"I....lied to you." I frowned in confusion, the cold tiles biting at my feet.

"What are you talking about?"

"That night when you called me....I lied....I told you....said that we'd just got off stage....I lied...it had been hours...."

"Oli just calm down and tell me what's wrong I don't understand-"

"I slept with someone. Twice. When you called, we were halfway through it."

My brain turned to fog as the news sunk in, then my stomach began to twist nastily and I felt sick, angry.
"You slept with someone? And thought it would be a good idea to tell me this the morning after my first real time with someone?! First time with you?!!" He flinched and I stormed up to him, about to slap him, but even though he'd just told me that, I couldn't do it and ended up slamming a fist down on the work top.

"I'm sor-"

"Don't!! Don't even...I don't wanna hear it..." I walked out and Oli followed me.

"Kellin I was lonely, and frustrated, I mean you and me weren't exactly getting anywhere-"

"Oh I'm so sorry for not being ready to fuck when I'd been raped for months on end!!!" Oli flinched again, sighing loudly. I started yanking on clothes as quickly as possible.

"No, I'm sorry. All I meant was that I was fucking desperate for it...and..and I got really drunk...and upset and he was just....there, and one thing lead to another-"

"Shut up!!! Just shut up!!" I shoved past him and ran down the stairs, holding back tears.

"Kellin please!!!" I slammed the door before he could say anything else.

Of course, it was raining outside, and freezing cold. I wrapped my hoodie round me tighter and stormed down the street.
Pretty soon I ran out of steam and slid down in a building doorway, crying into my arms.

I think I sat there for a long time, maybe hours, minutes, I wasn't really sure. But somehow I ended up at Matthew's house.

He answered the door in grey boxer shorts, rubbing his eyes. His eyes widened when he saw me properly and he pulled me inside.

I hadn't been back in his house since I left, but I must've been pretty sick because I didn't even notice until I woke up hours later that he'd completely redecorated in light colours rather than dark, and everything was neat and clean.

He basically stripped me down and pushed me into the shower, I couldn't even focus enough to be embarrassed, but I was soon dry, in big warm clothes and in bed. He tucked me in and sat up against the headboard, stroking my hair gently until I fell asleep.