Trade

That day I woke up before Oli, I could see him across the hall in his bed, curled up and clutching onto the duvet, it was minutes before I realised I was actually smiling and I rolled over so I couldn't see him anymore.

What I resented most about that day, was that I was nervous.

I was nervous of seeing my parents.

I was nervous, and I resented the thought of going into a new house and that I'd never get to see the old one again.

I resented how hard Oli was trying to calm me down, I felt angry, not at him, but at the people that had put us all in this position.

I felt nervous as to how my parents would react to seeing me like this, and knowing what had been done to me.

I felt nervous about how they would react to Oli. Did they think he'd do all those horrible things to me? Did they think he was as bad as the others?

A million thoughts crossed my mind before I'd even got out of bed that morning. By the time we'd got to the car, if I hadn't been so wired I would've felt like I was going to pass out.
We drove in silence for the first five minutes until Oli put on a CD, I actually almost smiled when Kings Of Leon came blaring out.
"You like these guys?" He asked, smiling at me.
"Yeah, I do." He grinned at that and kept driving, not a mile under the speed limit.
"Are you nervous about seeing them?"
"Oh...yes. Do they know I can't stay with them?"
"Yeah I told them yesterday but they already knew." I nodded, a metallic taste flooding my mouth.
"You alright?"
"Yep. Just nervous." As we pulled up outside their new house, I felt even worse, my heart going into overdrive in my underweight chest.
"I'll just go knock on the door then come down to get you alright?" I nodded and he went, I felt like crying when I saw my dad open the door and he and my mum rushed down to greet me.
"Kellin!! Oh thank god come here." My mum flapped around like an over-excited chicken, just like old times, my dad waited until she was finished and pulled me into a strong hug, being purposely gentle.

Everyone was treating me as if I might break, and as it turned out, I resented that too.

I looked over his shoulder and Oli was standing away from us with his hands in his pockets.
"My god honey you're so thin..."
"I've put on weight since I've been with Oli." My parents looked horrified to hear that I had been skinnier than that and my dad carried me in. He didn't carry me like Oli did, I didn't like it. His arms didn't cradle me the same way, his head didn't arc towards me slightly. Oli hovered awkwardly outside before coming in and closing the door.

I couldn't help but notice how my parents were almost ignoring him, acting as if he wasn't there and I felt completely overwhelmed. Oli asked if he could use the bathroom and my dad replied to him, my mum acted as if he hadn't even said anything. The second he was out of the room I called them on it.
"You have to stop this!!"
"What?"
"Acting like Oli isn't even here! I know how difficult it is knowing that I can't come back home, believe me it's not as difficult as actually being the one who's been through all of this!! But Oli spent 100 million dollars just to save me from that, I was in hell, if the guy who had owned me hadn't decided to sell me and Oli had bought me? I would be dead right now. He has stayed with me every day, he's carried me to the bathroom, downstairs, cooked for me, looked after me, helped me start walking again, he doesn't want anything from me alright?? He's been out of this world kind to me ok? I'd appreciate it if you'd show a teeny bit of gratitude to him, this has been difficult for him too." They were shocked at my little speech and nodded.
"Of course we will Kellin, I don't think either of us realised that was the situation. But...are you sure he won't do anything to you?" My dad asked.
"I'd stake my life on it." They both sighed but agreed to be nicer to him.

When Oli came back down my dad asked if he or anyone else wanted a drink, my mum hurried off to make them and my dad spoke to Oli and thanked him. He looked quite emotional at that and nodded.
"Thank you very much sir..I really appreciate that. I want you-" he stopped when my mum came in and passed everyone drinks before carrying on.
"I want you both to know, that as long as Kellin is with me, I won't be treating him like a slave, not one bit. As soon as he's better and ok to walk again, he's free to do whatever he wants, and I don't want anything from him, I will never, ever hurt him and I swear I'll keep him safe." I think my mum needed to hear that as she actually offered Oli a smile, my dad was more accepting of Oli's presence in our lives and I knew he already knew that.

We stayed there for a long time before leaving, mum didn't want me to go, we all had to convince her that I'd come back to visit as often as possible until she let me go. Oli carried me back down to the car, I felt sort of embarrassed, him carrying me in front of my parents, but I had no idea why.

"I heard what you said to them." Oli said, looking straight ahead at the road as we drove back home. I felt myself going red and he glanced over at me.
"Thank you."
"I...it's ok...I mean I just don't think they get how nice you've been, hopefully they do now..." I trailed off awkwardly, picking at my fingernails.
The tension hung thick in the air and when we got out I was even more embarrassed than usual that he had to carry me. I guess the one godsend was at least I knew I wasn't heavy right?

I got home on the couch, and just burst into tears. I had absolutely no idea why, but I was far more than embarrassed about it.
Oli rushed to my side and gave me a hug, but it made my cheeks heat up and my heart pound and it wasn't helping.
"S-s-sorry...I need to go to the bathroom..." He carried me upstairs and I managed the walk from the door to the inside. I locked the door for a change, which Oli didn't like, and sat on the loo and cried. I didn't know what was going on inside my own mind and that terrified me.

I had a shower and realised I didn't have a towel or change of clothes. Then, just when things couldn't get any better, my legs gave way.
"O-Oli...?!" I called out hesitantly, I jumped slightly when he replied instantly from just outside, he must've been waiting for me to say something.
"Yep?"
"I forgot a towel....my legs gave up on me..."
"Oh..."
"Yeah." I put my entire head under the cold tap to try and cool myself down slightly but it didn't work.
"You locked the door." I cursed loudly.
"I...I should be able to get out-"
"No!! Stay where you are, you'll fuck up your legs if you push it too much." I knew he was right and sighed.
"Ok so what do we do?"
"I'll put it across with my credit card - hang on." I heard him go crashing down the hallway then return minutes later. The card slowly pushed the lock back across and Oli shouted in victory, making me smile.
"I'll be one sec." He ran off to get a towel, as he did I banged my head on the wall gently when I realised he'd have to come in to give it to me.
"Umm Kellin?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I come in?"
"Yeah..." Oli walked in, shielding his eyes with one hand, the other held the towel which he had at arms length, I couldn't help but giggle as he crashed his way around the bathroom before giving up and just looking where he was going, sending a fresh new wave of colour to my cheeks.
"Thank you." I squeaked and grabbed the towel off him. He left again and I sat for a while with the towel on me, slightly in shock from what just happened.
"Shit." Once I was all dried I had to call him back so I could get dressed.
"Were you waiting outside for me?" I asked quietly as he carried me to my room. It was his turn to stutter awkwardly now and it sent warmth through me.
"Yes...well y'know I mean...it's easier than going downstairs and having to run up here you know..." He cringed at using the same phrase twice and I giggled.
"Thank you." He turned around while I got dressed for bed.
"Sorry about all that. I won't forget again."
"I wouldn't mind if you did." His face dropped when he realised what he'd just said.
"No!! No no!! That's-uh, that's not how I meant it!! I meant like, it's no trouble, looking after you is no trouble and not to feel like you're putting me out or anything I...I should just go umm...shower, yeah." He walked off, one hand rubbing over his face and I watched him happily, flopping back down on my bed.

I realised then that's how I viewed it now. This was my bed. This was my room. I had lots of my possessions from home back now, but this was mine. I wasn't entirely sure wether that was a good thing, but I liked having Oli around, that much I knew.