Rolling With The Thunder

"I don't know why I came here.. I should just leave.."

Brain was standing tall in his door way. H had on nothing but a pair of gym shorts. His hair was wet, still dripping every now and then and his smile.. The one thing about him that caught my attention. It seemed to be brighter than ever.

"No, no, Bella, stay. Please?"

"This is stupid Brian. I should have never called, I should have never came, I should have just never met you. Maybe then my life would be semi-normal."

"I figured you'd say as much.. Just.. If we can't come to some sort of agreement or ya know... Figure something out for us, than you can leave and never ever talk to me again and I'll leave you be."

"Fine.. Let's talk.." I whispered letting Brian hold my hand to lead me inside. His house hadn't changed very much, but then again he hadn't been home in two years to do much with it.

"Okay.. I'm not gonna sugar coat shit because well.. I care far too much about this situation to do that. I wasn't lying when about what I told you when I left. I had no choice. I was twenty one. I was stupid and dumb. I cared but not like I do now. Being on the road for two years straight and every spare second we had we were recording an album can change a person. It can change the way you see yourself."

"What are you getting at Brian."

"What I'm trying to say is I'm home for five months. I have no concerts. I have zero recording to do until then, I want to try. I want to forget about all the negative shit that's happened over the past two years and just... pick up where we left off. We might have been crazy and we probably were a little too wild but that's okay, I just.. I want to be happy again. I was happy being with you. You were the one sane piece I had in my life."

"Brian I--"

"I know, you're mad, you probably hate me and would much rather stab me in the vocal chords and ruin my life like I did yours than be with me again but I'm not the same guy I was Bella."

"I understand that. I do, I'm not the same innocent little Bella I was. I was nineteen. I fell madly in love with a rockstar who for what ever reason had a thing for me for all over three months and the he up and left me. Do you know what that does to a person? Do you know how badly it fucks with their mental stability? Do you?"

"No but I--"

"Exactly. You don't know what you did to me. I couldn't leave my house and go out with my friends for almost a year. I was too afraid of everything reminding me of you, and it does. I did everything I could to get my mind to shake you but I couldn't. I'd dial your number sometimes after you left to beg you to just be with me even if you were thousands of miles away but I knew better. The only sane thing about me became Jess. She knew how bad I was hurting. She was the only person who remotely understood me. She knew how badly I wanted and still want to hate you but I don't have the heart to hate you."

"I deserved that. I deserved you to be even meaner than that. I deserve to be called every single name in the book for leaving you like I did but well.. After Chelsea, the only thing I knew to be was a cocky arrogant asshole. I hurt you only to kill me in the long run."

He was talking non-sense. The Brian I knew had no feelings. I didn't care who he hurt of how he did it. The silence grew thick as the rain started to pour outside. This was typical Phoenix weather. When the sun would shine it was bright and vivid but when it rained it fucking poured.

"Listen Brian, I've got to head to my apartment now. It's getting late and I need time to think.."

"At least let me drive you, you obviously didn't drive here."

I reluctantly agreed knowing the rain wasn't going to let up for a while. His car was still cherry red. He still drove a little to fast with his music a little too loud. I didn't mind how he drove, every one else might have but it was like an adventure, or as he would put it at times 'Welp, if we die at least it'll be an even bigger adventure'. I swear sometimes he literally thought that he was the infamous Peter Pan from Neverland.

"Take a left, my apartment is the third one on the right." I muttered looking out the window at the pouring rain.

"Hang tight" he said parking his car. He ran out of the car to my side to open my door. "Get under. You're not catching a cold because of the fucking Phoenix bi-polar weather." he said covering me with his leather jacket.

"Thanks.. For the ride, and the jacket umbrella."

"Anytime darling. Listen.. I'll uh.. Call you in the morning?"

"I'll consider answering.. I just.. I need some time to think about whether or not this is for me."

"I understand.. I love you though. Just know that."