Too Close for Comfort
Eight.
Months passed, almost a years gone by. Nothing special went on, most of the year went by as a blur of disappointments, not only from Dougie, but nearly everyone else in my life. Broken promises and plans behind my back by so-called best friends, my grandma passed away, and i finally hit rock bottom. My mind was in all sorts of places at the same time and I shut down for months. I haven’t seen Dougie since my grandma’s funeral.
That night, I sat with Dougie and my cousin’s boyfriend most of the night. I watched them talk about anything and everything, occasionally catching him glance over at me with caring eyes. The night ended with me almost breaking down, but he saw and held me close. I hid my face in his neck, nothing else ever calmed me down as well. In his arms, the world stopped. Nothing else mattered. Nothing bad was going on. I felt safe.
But that night was months ago and I haven’t seen or heard from him since. I just can’t help but think what is going on between us? He’s had plenty of chances to do something, but he doesn’t ever take them. Maybe he just doesn’t like me like that, but then why would he act the way he does around me? He’s always treated me different; better.
One night when we were young, he brought his telescope outside into the front lawn to we could watch the stars. But it didn’t work, so I went to go back inside. He sat down in the grass and as I looked back, he motioned me to come sit with him, so I did. We laid together in the grass watching the clouds move, light up from the full moon for hours.
Or that one time when his grandma was sick, he wouldn’t talk about it until it was just us. He told me about the watch that he wouldn’t take off because she bought it for him. He was terrified of losing her. It was the first and only time I’ve really seen him vulnerable. I just wanted to be there for him, but she’s okay now.
All those years of him singling me out to go off from the group we were always with just didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense anymore. I’ve never seen him act that way around anyone else. I just wanted him to be mine, and nothing else.
I’m in love with him.
That night, I sat with Dougie and my cousin’s boyfriend most of the night. I watched them talk about anything and everything, occasionally catching him glance over at me with caring eyes. The night ended with me almost breaking down, but he saw and held me close. I hid my face in his neck, nothing else ever calmed me down as well. In his arms, the world stopped. Nothing else mattered. Nothing bad was going on. I felt safe.
But that night was months ago and I haven’t seen or heard from him since. I just can’t help but think what is going on between us? He’s had plenty of chances to do something, but he doesn’t ever take them. Maybe he just doesn’t like me like that, but then why would he act the way he does around me? He’s always treated me different; better.
One night when we were young, he brought his telescope outside into the front lawn to we could watch the stars. But it didn’t work, so I went to go back inside. He sat down in the grass and as I looked back, he motioned me to come sit with him, so I did. We laid together in the grass watching the clouds move, light up from the full moon for hours.
Or that one time when his grandma was sick, he wouldn’t talk about it until it was just us. He told me about the watch that he wouldn’t take off because she bought it for him. He was terrified of losing her. It was the first and only time I’ve really seen him vulnerable. I just wanted to be there for him, but she’s okay now.
All those years of him singling me out to go off from the group we were always with just didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense anymore. I’ve never seen him act that way around anyone else. I just wanted him to be mine, and nothing else.
I’m in love with him.