Controlled Demolition

Somehow it became a habit that took off quickly with no end in sight. I mean, if no one knew who cared? It wasn’t like we were doing anything bad. It was perfectly normal to spend alone time with your history teacher. There was absolutely nothing wrong with eating dinner with him and watching some television or movies because your mom was always working late. It was just, you know, best not to mention it to anyone… just in case someone got the wrong idea. You never know.

We hadn’t hung out much immediately after that first time. Pete was pretty good about keeping to himself, I suppose. We actually didn’t even hang out again until after he came over for dinner with my mom and me.

My mom cooked some chicken or something (I can’t really remember) and basically told Pete he was welcome over whenever he wanted. She even went as far as to tell him I could use the company because I tended to hole up here most of the time and watch TV or read.

“I just worry about her being here alone so much, especially when I’m working,” my mom had told him.

So when Pete knocked on the door a few days later to see if I needed company the first thing out of my mouth had been, “I don’t need a babysitter.”

I could tell he had been a little surprised when I said that.

“Sorry,” he said, sounding sheepish rubbing at the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean for that to sound the way it did. I know this is weird because you’re my student, but I actually liked hanging out with you when I first moved in here. I’m honestly not over here because of what your mom said at dinner.”

I had then apologized in return and invited him inside. We had watched a few movies and ordered Chinese food. And then it just kind of became our thing.

---

When I got back to the apartment complex after bringing my mom to work I went straight upstairs and immediately knocked on Pete’s apartment door. I could hear him shuffling about before the door opened and he smiled when he saw me.

“What’s the plan for this evening?” he questioned, stepping out into the hallway as I turned to unlock the door to my apartment.

“I got some food from the diner my mom works at,” I said, lifting a plastic bag in my hand so he could see it. Once inside, I went into the kitchen and set down the food on the counter. “And I figured we’d just watch a movie or something. Unless you have a better idea.”

“Nope,” he said, going over to the bag and digging through it, pulling out the styrofoam containers and opening them. “Sounds good to me.”

---

We didn’t do much when we were together, usually just eating food and watching movies, as I said. Innocent enough, until it wasn’t.

I wasn’t really sure when things started to change. It’s funny how things work like that, how things are going one way and then all of a sudden they’re going in a completely different direction. And no one at school suspected a thing.

One time I had Jess over and forgot to tell Pete and he knocked on the door. Of course Jess had seen him, the front door opened into the living room where we had been hanging out.

“Mr. Wentz?” Jess had said, squinting at him in confusion. His eyes met mine, and I could tell he was slightly panicked, but he recovered easily.

“I was just wondering if your mother was here,” he had said. “She said a piece of my mail got mixed in with hers on accident.”

“Oh yeah,” I said, I left him in the doorway and went into the kitchen, grabbing some unimportant mail of my mom’s and bringing it to him. I figured I could just get it back from him later.

“Thanks, Lucy,” he said. “Have a good evening, ladies.”

As soon as he was gone, Jess was staring me.

“Does Mr. Wentz fucking live in your building?” she had asked.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal,” I had answered, sitting down beside her on the couch and grabbing a handful of popcorn.

“Not a big deal?” she said. “That’s Mr. fucking Wentz. Do you know how jealous everyone at school would be if they found out?”

“Well they’re not going to,” I said. “And please don’t say anything. I don’t want people to start bugging me about it.”

“I won’t mention it to everyone,” she said. “But please invite me over more.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes.

I knew she would never expect anything to happen with Pete living so close to me because of how I felt about the majority of the girls in my class. Like I said before: No one suspected a thing.

---

Of course, there was no reason for anyone to suspect anything. At least right away. It was about two months after we had started hanging out that things changed. Where everything got confusing and awkward and… I don’t even know. I’m still trying to process it.

As was usual, I went to Pete’s apartment and knocked on the door after bringing my mom to work on Saturday. But instead of Pete answering the door all I heard was a sullen, “Come in.”

I went inside and saw Pete sitting on his own couch, face in his hands. He looked up when I came in and tried to smile, but I could tell something was wrong.

“Is everything okay?” I questioned, closing the door to his apartment before going over to his couch and sitting beside him.

“Not really,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “My uh wife—ex-wife, is seeing someone already.”

I sat and stared at him, not knowing what to do or say. I know I felt mature for my age, but I was still a teenager and didn’t have experience when it came to adult situations like this. After a moment, I placed a hand on his back and rubbed soothingly. I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate, but I knew if I was upset I would feel somewhat better knowing that someone was there and wanted me to be comforted.

It was silent for a little bit, Pete pressing his palms against his eyes and breathing deeply. Eventually he lifted his head and looked at me and I hated the hurt and pain that was so clear in his eyes.

“Sorry,” he said.

“It’s okay,” I said. He gave me a small smile and I took my hand from his back. Before I could settle it in my lap with the other his own hands grabbed a hold of it and he looked down at it in his own larger hands.

“Thank you,” he said after another moment. “I know I’m not the best company right now, but I appreciate you being here.”

“What are neighbors for?” I said with a soft laugh. He looked up at me and smiled again as his fingers traced over my hand.

I could feel something in my gut, telling me that this moment was different from all the others we had shared. This was more than just two people hanging out for a few minutes. This was two people sharing an intimate moment and honestly, I had no idea what to expect.

My hand tingled in his grasp and before I could register anything else, Pete’s face appeared close in front of mine. Too close.

I knew this was wrong and I would have pulled back or said… said something, but I froze and my breath caught in my throat, and suddenly Pete’s lips were on mine. Briefly, softly, barely there.

He pulled away just as quickly as he had come, and I felt the air escape my lungs as my hand fell from his. I stood up and moved toward the door.

“Lucy,” he said, also standing. I shook my head, and felt around for the door behind me.

“I have to…” I started, but words escaped me. I didn’t know what “I had to.” There were no words to finish that sentence. I opened the door and went quickly into the hallway, and quickly unlocking and going into my own apartment.

My thoughts were a scramble, but the one clear thought in my mind: What the fuck just happened?