Controlled Demolition

If my life were a movie, this is probably where the montage would happen. There would be some upbeat pop song playing while images of Pete and I flashed upon the screen, showing us falling into each other’s beds, kissing, the occasionally discreet looks at school.

This would be the part of the movie where everything was going right, where everything was just fun and nothing seemed like it could go wrong. But of course it could. And it did.

It started when Jess began pointing out that I barely talked to her anymore, that we barely saw each other out of school.

“I’m just really busy,” I said. We were standing by my locker at the end of the school day, where Jess had come up to me and asked when we would be able to hang out again.

“With what?” she asked. “We’re taking most of the same classes so I know you don’t have homework and you pretty much only work at the bookstore on the weekend.”

“I just have some things to do,” I replied, shoving a few books into my backpack.

“Bullshit,” Jess said. “I can tell you’re keeping something from me and it kind of hurts that you don’t feel like you can trust me.”

“I’m not keeping anything from you,” I lied, turning to her and meeting her gaze, hoping she’d back off. Which she did. Just not in the way I expected.

“I know you’re lying to me, Lucy,” she took a step backward, away from me. “When you can come to your senses and realize that I’m your friend and I just care about you, come find me. Otherwise, I don’t know what else to do. I don’t feel like you trust me anymore.”

“Are you serious?” I questioned, shutting my locker noisily. “You’re my best friend.”

“I’m sorry,” Jess said quietly looking down. “It just doesn’t feel the same anymore, you know?”

“This feels like a break up, and we’re only friends,” I said. Jess shrugged.

“I’m here if you want to talk or anything,” she said. “I just… don’t want to put in so much effort and get nothing in return.”

Not knowing what else to say, I stood there and watched as Jess walked away. I wasn’t really sure what to do or how to feel. It’s not every day that your friends just up and decide to cut ties with you.

I guess I didn’t feel too bad because Jess had other friends in school. It was just weird for me because I didn’t really have anyone else. I’ve never been good at opening up to people and making friends. I’m surprised I even got Jess as a friend. Or Pete as…whatever he was.

I sighed and headed down the hallway, picking up the pace when I realized the time and that I had to bring my mom to work soon.

I guess I couldn’t be so shocked at the fact that Jess didn’t feel connected to me anymore. I hardly spent any time with her anymore, usually opting for spending time with Pete. I didn’t see her that often during the day at school either. I really was a horrible friend.

---

After I brought my mom to work, I returned to my apartment to shower and change out of the clothes that I had worn to school. I was supposed to go over to Pete’s apartment at 6. He was going to cook me dinner and we were going to watch a movie, I think. I wasn’t entirely sure.

Pete didn’t normally cook for me, but I suppose since tomorrow was my birthday, it called for extra special treatment. My mom had asked me what I had wanted to do for my birthday, but I didn’t want to do anything special, so my mom was going to take me out to dinner at my favorite restaurant. She had told me that I could invite whoever I wanted, and seeing as Jess decided we weren’t as close as we used to be and Pete was my history teacher who I also happened to be sleeping with, it seemed best for it to just my mom and me. Besides, Pete would get me tonight.

When I was dressed and ready, I slipped out of my apartment and went over to Pete’s, knocking on his door. A moment later the door opened and Pete smiled when he saw me.

“Hey beautiful,” he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the apartment.

When the door was shut, he backed me up against it pressed his body against mine as he leaned in to kiss me. My hands went around his back and attempted to pull him closer to me as the kiss deepened, his tongue teasing the entrance of my mouth. I sighed when he pulled away, resting his forehead against my own and staring into my eyes. I searched his eyes, enjoying the intensity that they held.

“Want to skip dinner?” Pete asked, kissing me quickly and softly. “We could just go straight for dessert.”

I laughed.

“Tempting, but I’m kinda hungry and I’m assuming I’ll need the energy,” I said.

“Very true,” Pete said, grinning and pulling away from me. His hand grabbed mine, and he led me to the kitchen. “Plus the food is ready.”

---

After we ate we sat on Pete’s couch and watched a movie of my choice (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, of course—my favorite). But of course, whenever Pete and I tried watching a movie together, we didn’t actually end up watching it.

Pete had pulled me onto his lap and was playing with my hands, occasionally kissing them gently.

“You were quiet during dinner,” he finally says. I turn my gaze from the television and look at him.

“Yeah?”

He nods.

“Is everything okay?” he asks, and I look down at our entwined fingers, shrugging.

“Jess basically said she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore because apparently I can’t trust her,” I say. “The only secret I’m keeping from her is you.”

“She’ll come to her senses, eventually,” Pete said, pulling me closer to him and pressing his lips to my cheek. “In the meantime, that’s at least one less person to worry about finding out about us.”

I pulled away and glared at him.

“She’s my only friend at school,” I said. “Of course, I worry about people finding out about us, but it was nice to have someone who’s my age that’s my friend.”

“Does my being older than you bother you?” Pete asked.

“No,” I said, placing my hands on his shoulder. “It’s just… Jess has been my friend for such a long time, I didn’t think it would be so easy for her to just walk away from this. I guess I just haven’t had time to process it.”

“Well, you have me,” Pete said, his lips now brushing against mine, pulling me closer. “I’ll be your friend.”

“Is that all you’ll be?” I asked, smiling at him.

“Of course not.” His hand slipped under my shirt, hand caressing the skin of my lower back. “I’ll be your lover, too.”

“What about my boyfriend?” My lips were just barely touching his now.

Pete froze and pulled back slightly.

“I like what we have going on now,” he said, playing with the hem of my shirt. “Why worry about labels?”

He tugged on my shirt and lifted it up, and I helped him take it off. He leaned forward and pressed his lips firmly against my own. When I didn’t immediately respond, he pulled away.

“Are you okay?” he asked. I hesitated a second, before smiling at him.

“Yeah,” I said quietly, leaning forward again to capture his lips with mine, while in the back of my mind I started to wonder what kind of future we could possibly have when Pete didn’t even want to figure out what this relationship was to him.