Status: Complete
I'm Not Insane
Chapter 19
It’s been a week since I’ve last seen you. How have you been? School’s starting soon. At least that’s what Nurse Alice told me. That’s why you haven’t been coming every day.
Do I believe in God? No. Not at all.
Why?
If you had to live in this place like I do and see what I see then you would stop believing in God too.
Oh, yes. I did believe. But then I stopped being naïve. That fucking asshole who crossed my path wouldn’t have done so if that creature in the sky was there to control his puppet strings. I would’ve been stopped from doing what I did. I wouldn’t be here right now.
Christians always preach that God loves everyone. Well you know what? Fuck them. There isn’t anyone in the sky watching over us right now. If there was someone to love us, there wouldn’t be any crimes. People wouldn’t have to die and others wouldn’t have to go to jail. This place I’m in now wouldn’t be here. If someone was really up there looking down at us, then why are people being sent to asylums? We’re so unwanted here. Not a single patient has been treated nicely. Even the children are treated like shit. Aren’t children supposed to be a gift from the imaginary friend up above? Then why is He letting children be electrified here? Why is he letting them be tortured? Why is he letting them run around naked and go hungry? Oh, that’s right. He’s not real.
I’m not wanted either. If there was a God he would’ve saved me from this. I wouldn’t have to receive insulin to calm myself down. There would be no need for ice baths. I wouldn’t be chained to this bed. I wouldn’t be forced to listen to my neighbors scream. I never would’ve developed a fear for the dark.
You think this is all happening for a reason? You really think this is all part of your imaginary friend’s plan? Please. Don’t get me started on that “everything happens for a reason” bullshit. What’s the reason for this asylum? To help people like me, right? We aren’t getting that help. So what’s the reason for this place? On a general note, what’s the reason behind children dying on the streets? Women being raped? Men getting beaten? What’s your imaginary friend’s big plan for these people?
I’m being offensive? Please. I’ve heard worse around here. Everyone who’s stable enough to “believe” doesn’t believe in God. So you’re kind thinks we’re all going to hell then. So what?
I swear, if one more person tells me this is all part of “God’s big plan” for me I’ll bash their face in with a knife.
Do I believe in God? No. Not at all.
Why?
If you had to live in this place like I do and see what I see then you would stop believing in God too.
Oh, yes. I did believe. But then I stopped being naïve. That fucking asshole who crossed my path wouldn’t have done so if that creature in the sky was there to control his puppet strings. I would’ve been stopped from doing what I did. I wouldn’t be here right now.
Christians always preach that God loves everyone. Well you know what? Fuck them. There isn’t anyone in the sky watching over us right now. If there was someone to love us, there wouldn’t be any crimes. People wouldn’t have to die and others wouldn’t have to go to jail. This place I’m in now wouldn’t be here. If someone was really up there looking down at us, then why are people being sent to asylums? We’re so unwanted here. Not a single patient has been treated nicely. Even the children are treated like shit. Aren’t children supposed to be a gift from the imaginary friend up above? Then why is He letting children be electrified here? Why is he letting them be tortured? Why is he letting them run around naked and go hungry? Oh, that’s right. He’s not real.
I’m not wanted either. If there was a God he would’ve saved me from this. I wouldn’t have to receive insulin to calm myself down. There would be no need for ice baths. I wouldn’t be chained to this bed. I wouldn’t be forced to listen to my neighbors scream. I never would’ve developed a fear for the dark.
You think this is all happening for a reason? You really think this is all part of your imaginary friend’s plan? Please. Don’t get me started on that “everything happens for a reason” bullshit. What’s the reason for this asylum? To help people like me, right? We aren’t getting that help. So what’s the reason for this place? On a general note, what’s the reason behind children dying on the streets? Women being raped? Men getting beaten? What’s your imaginary friend’s big plan for these people?
I’m being offensive? Please. I’ve heard worse around here. Everyone who’s stable enough to “believe” doesn’t believe in God. So you’re kind thinks we’re all going to hell then. So what?
I swear, if one more person tells me this is all part of “God’s big plan” for me I’ll bash their face in with a knife.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hopefully this wasn't too offensive, but I really wanted to show the patient's view on religion after all she's been through. I'm probably going to change the rating to R because of this.