Don't Wish
One of One
When Harry first heard the proposal of one of them being hired a fake girlfriend Harry was incredibly hesitant about it. He understands why management wanted to do it but the whole thing just seemed so sketchy and so difficult and there was no way they were going to pull it off. The couple discussed it and didn’t make any agreements until they were sure they were on the same page about it all. In the beginning Louis hardly ever saw Eleanor, if he tweeted about being with her he was sitting on the couch with Harry. Management was pushing them to go out in public more and more but Louis refused to do so, it was bad enough he had to have a fake girlfriend the least management could do is respect his time with Harry.
After a couple months of “dating” fans were becoming suspicious so Louis finally went out in public with Eleanor for the first time. It was awkward and uncomfortable and he absolutely hated it and when he went back to his flat with Harry, Harry was crying on the couch and Louis couldn’t do anything to make it better. After that first time Louis tried to quit, he tried to make management understand that he couldn’t do it but they wouldn’t listen and instead made arrangements for the two to go on a date. One date a week turned into two turned into three turned into shopping trips and train rides and her going to his shows and him going to her university. It turned into Eleanor vising Louis while he was on tour and the worst bit for Harry is that it turned into Eleanor and Louis wanting to hang out with each other.
It was fine you know, Louis and Eleanor actually planning their dates and when to see each other because it wasn’t for the public anymore it was because they enjoyed each other’s company. Harry didn’t know what to do because he couldn’t just tell Louis who he can or can’t hang out with and Eleanor agreed to take on a lot of shit for being Louis’ girlfriend and he owed her, he really did. He never thought Louis would actually be her friend and maybe he should have, they did have to spend a lot of time together but Harry just kind of expected Louis to always hate it and that’s not how it is and well, Harry has to be okay with that.
(+++)
It’s been a very long couple of months with the American tour, plus promo for their new movie and radio and tv appearances so Harry was really looking forward to some time off with Louis. They decided to go on a date since they haven’t been on one in months if not even a year. Harry picked the restaurant; a celebrity hot spot with tons of VIP rooms just so he and Louis could have all the privacy they needed. Harry knew Louis wouldn’t dress up but that didn’t stop Harry from wearing a nicer outfit he really wanted to look good for Louis and it doesn’t matter if Louis has seen him at his best or worst, he wanted to make Louis want him. It’s been a long time since he’s seen the fire in Louis’ eyes and he hopes a nice evening out will bring it back.
Harry checked his watch again thinking maybe it was wrong but when he checked his phone they were both saying the same time which means Louis is late. He’s not really surprised though because Louis is often tardy to lots of things and maybe there was traffic and really Harry shouldn’t be worrying. After waiting for half an hour he starts to panic though and he texts Louis and calls him a few minutes later but he doesn’t get a reply to either. He sends a group text to the boys asking if they know where he is but they say about the same thing; they don’t know where he is and shouldn’t he be with you? Harry tries to remain calm but this is Louis, this is the man he’s been in love with for three years and he doesn’t know where he is and he can’t help but panic. To try to distract himself as he waits for Louis to reply he goes on twitter and just browses. He sees a trending topic and his heart just sinks to the bottom of his stomach and he can’t believe this. He knows he shouldn’t look at it but he just has to be sure.
Harry clicks on the link ‘#louisandeldatenight’ and looks through what people are saying. A lot of it is from the past but he sees a tweet that sends him over the edge. ‘LOOK AT HOW CUTE EL AND LOU ARE ON THEIR TONIGHT! THIS WAS TAKEN MOMENTS AGO’ Harry ignored how creepy it is that someone uploaded a picture that fast and focused on the fact that Louis is out with Eleanor when they are supposed to be having a date and this just hurts worse than anything he’s experienced. He took a screen shot of the tweet and sent it to the boys captioning it with ‘found him’. He left a tip on the table even though he just ordered a drink and left the restaurant. He was surprisingly calm on the drive back to their flat but he didn’t know what to think, he didn’t know how to feel or what he was supposed to do now. What he did know however was that this was the final straw.
Countless times Louis has bailed on his plans with Harry and countless of times when Harry has asked if Louis wanted to do something Louis already had plans with Eleanor and Harry is damn tired of it. Louis and Harry are supposed to be dating and they are supposed to be doing everything together; they are supposed to be going on dates together. They lost themselves and each other along the way and Harry doesn’t want to blame it on Eleanor because they could have tried harder but Harry knew all along that this was a bad idea. He knew something like this was going to happen. When Harry got to his flat he changed out of his outfit and started packing a bag. He didn’t know where he was going to go yet but he knew he was staying in the flat. He packed most of his clothes and some toiletries that he knew he would need no matter where he decided to stay. As he was walking around the flat to figure out what else he needed he spotted his favorite picture of the two of them.
It was taken back in 2010 when they were on tour in Europe and they decided to explore the small town a little bit, just the two of them. They were hugging and holding hands and stealing kisses the whole day and it was just fantastic, it was just the best day. They asked someone on the street to take a picture of them and in true Louis and Harry fashion they did some silly pose. It turned out to be a weird picture but Harry loves it so much and every time he sees it he’s reminded of that day and how much fun they had. Looking at it now though, it just hurts. He doesn’t understand how Louis could do something like this to him. After everything they’ve been through Louis just doesn’t seem to care anymore and it just hurts Harry to his very core.
Just thinking about how much he loves Louis and all the good times makes Harry even more upset that Louis would do something like this. If this was the first time he had done it Harry would be more understanding but no, this has happened quite a bit and Louis knows how much this date would mean to Harry. And yet he still missed it to spend time with her. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fucking fair and Harry hates this, he hates all of this so much. He doesn’t realize he’s crying until tear drops fall on the picture frame in hand. He clutches it tightly before throwing it across the room with an angry yell. And of course at that time Louis walks into the flat and he has no idea what’s going to happen.
“Harry, love, what’s wrong? Why did you throw that?”
Harry wanted to laugh but he couldn’t make himself do it, “Why did I throw that? Where the fuck were you tonight?” Harry asked.
“I was out with Eleanor; we made plans the other day.”
“That’s really fucking funny because you and I made dinner plans last fucking week for tonight.” Harry watched as Louis’ mouth dropped and looked like he was going to say something but Harry didn’t give him the chance. “We talked about this, we fucking agreed to meet for dinner because we haven’t been on a proper date in a year, we spent all night planning it after we, after-“Harry faltered remembering the night they shared together. “I can’t believe you would do something like this to me and with her of all people! God Louis how can you be so fucking dumb to do something like this! I gave her a chance I really fucking did because she helped in the beginning and I won’t deny that but now she’s ruining everything! You’re ruining everything!! You’re always with her! You’re always texting her and calling her and making plans and fuck Louis it’s like you’re actually dating her!” Harry yelled. “In fact I don’t even know why you’re dating me still it’s not like you fucking care anymore!” Harry yelled again walking back to his room to get his stuff. “I’m done, I’m fucking done. I’m tired of fighting for us when you don’t even want this. I am tired of being put on the back burner because you’d rather hang out with your fucking girlfriend. We’re over Louis so have a nice fucking time dating that fucking cunt and don’t wish that she was me.”
(+++)
It’s been a week since Harry broke up with Louis and he’s an absolute wreck. He’s staying with Liam and he hasn’t left Liam’s room since he’s arrived. He cries all day and night and he hardly has the energy to get out of bed, in fact most times Liam has to help him get out of bed and into the shower. Harry feels like his heart was ripped out of his chest and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be okay. He needs Louis. That’s just it, he needed Louis in every aspect of his life. Louis taught Harry so many things about himself about relationships about the world and how to feel and what to believe and what not to believe. Louis helped Harry grow musically and mentally, Louis helped Harry become more confident and outgoing. Louis makes Harry a better person and without him he doesn’t know what he’s going to do, he doesn’t know what will happen to the band. He feels like he made a horrible decision but he can’t allow Louis to walk over him like that despite how miserable his is now.
Another week passed with no word between the two boys and Harry was beginning to lose hope. He didn’t know what to do and Liam already agreed to let Harry live in his flat with him so one day Harry decided to stop moping and just go back to his flat. He told himself that if Louis was there he would just wait until he saw him leave but if he didn’t see Louis’ car then he would go in and get the rest of his stuff. Harry didn’t see Louis’ car in the lot so he figured he was in the clear. Upon entering the flat though it was obvious Harry wasn’t alone. Laying on the couch looking a down right pitiful mess was Louis; his hasn’t been washed in days, his face is red with small break outs, there are bags under his eyes and he looks pale. He’s covered in a blanket and there’s a bucket by the side of his head that smells absolutely vile.
Harry drops his things on the counter like he used to always do and walks towards Louis, almost becoming ill himself. Harry kicks into gear and starts taking care of Louis like he used to; he disposed of the bin and washed it out the best he could before returning to Louis carrying some medication and water. He set the medication on the table and knelt by Louis rubbing his shoulder.
“Baby, wake up.”
Louis groaned but slowly opened his eyes, “What?”
“Lou, you’re ill wake up and take some medication.”
“Is this a dream?”
“No, this isn’t a dream. I need you to sit up for me and take some medicine though, okay?”
Louis started to sit up but collapsed and threw up in the bin. Harry got up to get a wet wash cloth and returned to Louis, rubbing it all over Louis’ face.
“Try one more time but slower for me.”
Louis did as Harry instructed and automatically leaned against Harry as he started to cry. Harry has never been good at watching Louis cry and it wasn’t long until Harry started crying as well. They held each other as they cried and cried and cried, they cried for each other and for the relationship they lost. Once they both calmed down Harry helped Louis take his medicine and they both walked to their bedroom to have a nap together, tangling together like they always did. When Harry woke up Louis was already awake and it looked like he had been crying again.
“Please come back to me.” Louis whispered. “I was an absolute dick and I don’t deserve you but I can’t live without you. Please Hazza, just come back. I need you so much.” Louis cried.
“Louis, baby, it’s not going to be that easy.”
“But why? Why can’t it be? We fell in love so easily the first time we can do it again. Harry please.”
“Louis…” Harry whispered knowing this wasn’t healthy.
“Please? I need you.” Louis said pressing against Harry. “Please.” He whispered again kissing Harry’s shoulder down his arm and back up it again. “I love you, please just let me.”
“Okay.”
(+++)
In retrospect it was probably a terrible decision especially since Harry became sick the next day and they both felt so ill they couldn’t take care of one another nor talk about everything that happened. Eventually though they started to feel better and they talked about everything. It included a lot of tears and confessions and fears and worries but it was all out in the open finally. They had something to work on, something to work towards and they both came to an agreement that Eleanor was to be fired. They both went to their management team and told them what they decided and didn’t give them a chance to say no. It was either no beard or no band and obviously management wouldn’t allow the band to break up so they arranged Eleanor and Louis to break up and already had statements they would say about it in public.
It was about a month post Eleanor break up when the band had their first interview and everyone knew how it was going to go and what Louis was allowed to say but of course Louis didn’t follow the rules.
“Louis how is the single life treating you? It must have been hard breaking up with your girlfriend of three years?”
“Actually it’s funny you say that. I’m not single and no I’m not with Eleanor and I never was. Harry and I have been in a relationship since the beginning of our band starting out. We felt at the time it was our bands best interest to hide our relationship and for me to be dating someone else. Eleanor is a lovely girl and we’ve had a laugh while we hung out but I was never dating her and she understood that and agreed to everything. She did it for Harry and I and I’m grateful but now Harry and I are ready for the world to know the truth about us.” Louis said looking at Harry who was beginning to cry. “Harry is the best thing to happen to me and I’m not going to hide that anymore. Harry and I are in love and we’re happy and we are truly sorry for lying to the fans.” Louis said now looking at the camera. “We didn’t do it to hurt you and we didn’t want to lie to you, we thought it was the best decision. I hope you guys can forgive us for lying and I guess you Larry shippers were right all along.”
After the interview management was furious and they begged the news station not to run the interview but they wouldn’t allow out. The interviewer actually stuck up for Harry and Louis and told management that it was time for the boys to come out of hiding. They’ve done enough of following the rules and it was time for them to be free. Harry and Louis, even the rest of the band, thanked the woman deeply and she just said it wasn’t a big deal and she better get an invitation to their wedding. It was actually smooth sailing after the interview aired. The fans were ecstatic they were finally out and they seemed to understand why they did what they did. Harry and Louis were still getting back into the swing of things but they love each other very much and although they lost their way, day by day they were falling more and more in love with each other all over again.
After a couple months of “dating” fans were becoming suspicious so Louis finally went out in public with Eleanor for the first time. It was awkward and uncomfortable and he absolutely hated it and when he went back to his flat with Harry, Harry was crying on the couch and Louis couldn’t do anything to make it better. After that first time Louis tried to quit, he tried to make management understand that he couldn’t do it but they wouldn’t listen and instead made arrangements for the two to go on a date. One date a week turned into two turned into three turned into shopping trips and train rides and her going to his shows and him going to her university. It turned into Eleanor vising Louis while he was on tour and the worst bit for Harry is that it turned into Eleanor and Louis wanting to hang out with each other.
It was fine you know, Louis and Eleanor actually planning their dates and when to see each other because it wasn’t for the public anymore it was because they enjoyed each other’s company. Harry didn’t know what to do because he couldn’t just tell Louis who he can or can’t hang out with and Eleanor agreed to take on a lot of shit for being Louis’ girlfriend and he owed her, he really did. He never thought Louis would actually be her friend and maybe he should have, they did have to spend a lot of time together but Harry just kind of expected Louis to always hate it and that’s not how it is and well, Harry has to be okay with that.
(+++)
It’s been a very long couple of months with the American tour, plus promo for their new movie and radio and tv appearances so Harry was really looking forward to some time off with Louis. They decided to go on a date since they haven’t been on one in months if not even a year. Harry picked the restaurant; a celebrity hot spot with tons of VIP rooms just so he and Louis could have all the privacy they needed. Harry knew Louis wouldn’t dress up but that didn’t stop Harry from wearing a nicer outfit he really wanted to look good for Louis and it doesn’t matter if Louis has seen him at his best or worst, he wanted to make Louis want him. It’s been a long time since he’s seen the fire in Louis’ eyes and he hopes a nice evening out will bring it back.
Harry checked his watch again thinking maybe it was wrong but when he checked his phone they were both saying the same time which means Louis is late. He’s not really surprised though because Louis is often tardy to lots of things and maybe there was traffic and really Harry shouldn’t be worrying. After waiting for half an hour he starts to panic though and he texts Louis and calls him a few minutes later but he doesn’t get a reply to either. He sends a group text to the boys asking if they know where he is but they say about the same thing; they don’t know where he is and shouldn’t he be with you? Harry tries to remain calm but this is Louis, this is the man he’s been in love with for three years and he doesn’t know where he is and he can’t help but panic. To try to distract himself as he waits for Louis to reply he goes on twitter and just browses. He sees a trending topic and his heart just sinks to the bottom of his stomach and he can’t believe this. He knows he shouldn’t look at it but he just has to be sure.
Harry clicks on the link ‘#louisandeldatenight’ and looks through what people are saying. A lot of it is from the past but he sees a tweet that sends him over the edge. ‘LOOK AT HOW CUTE EL AND LOU ARE ON THEIR TONIGHT! THIS WAS TAKEN MOMENTS AGO’ Harry ignored how creepy it is that someone uploaded a picture that fast and focused on the fact that Louis is out with Eleanor when they are supposed to be having a date and this just hurts worse than anything he’s experienced. He took a screen shot of the tweet and sent it to the boys captioning it with ‘found him’. He left a tip on the table even though he just ordered a drink and left the restaurant. He was surprisingly calm on the drive back to their flat but he didn’t know what to think, he didn’t know how to feel or what he was supposed to do now. What he did know however was that this was the final straw.
Countless times Louis has bailed on his plans with Harry and countless of times when Harry has asked if Louis wanted to do something Louis already had plans with Eleanor and Harry is damn tired of it. Louis and Harry are supposed to be dating and they are supposed to be doing everything together; they are supposed to be going on dates together. They lost themselves and each other along the way and Harry doesn’t want to blame it on Eleanor because they could have tried harder but Harry knew all along that this was a bad idea. He knew something like this was going to happen. When Harry got to his flat he changed out of his outfit and started packing a bag. He didn’t know where he was going to go yet but he knew he was staying in the flat. He packed most of his clothes and some toiletries that he knew he would need no matter where he decided to stay. As he was walking around the flat to figure out what else he needed he spotted his favorite picture of the two of them.
It was taken back in 2010 when they were on tour in Europe and they decided to explore the small town a little bit, just the two of them. They were hugging and holding hands and stealing kisses the whole day and it was just fantastic, it was just the best day. They asked someone on the street to take a picture of them and in true Louis and Harry fashion they did some silly pose. It turned out to be a weird picture but Harry loves it so much and every time he sees it he’s reminded of that day and how much fun they had. Looking at it now though, it just hurts. He doesn’t understand how Louis could do something like this to him. After everything they’ve been through Louis just doesn’t seem to care anymore and it just hurts Harry to his very core.
Just thinking about how much he loves Louis and all the good times makes Harry even more upset that Louis would do something like this. If this was the first time he had done it Harry would be more understanding but no, this has happened quite a bit and Louis knows how much this date would mean to Harry. And yet he still missed it to spend time with her. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fucking fair and Harry hates this, he hates all of this so much. He doesn’t realize he’s crying until tear drops fall on the picture frame in hand. He clutches it tightly before throwing it across the room with an angry yell. And of course at that time Louis walks into the flat and he has no idea what’s going to happen.
“Harry, love, what’s wrong? Why did you throw that?”
Harry wanted to laugh but he couldn’t make himself do it, “Why did I throw that? Where the fuck were you tonight?” Harry asked.
“I was out with Eleanor; we made plans the other day.”
“That’s really fucking funny because you and I made dinner plans last fucking week for tonight.” Harry watched as Louis’ mouth dropped and looked like he was going to say something but Harry didn’t give him the chance. “We talked about this, we fucking agreed to meet for dinner because we haven’t been on a proper date in a year, we spent all night planning it after we, after-“Harry faltered remembering the night they shared together. “I can’t believe you would do something like this to me and with her of all people! God Louis how can you be so fucking dumb to do something like this! I gave her a chance I really fucking did because she helped in the beginning and I won’t deny that but now she’s ruining everything! You’re ruining everything!! You’re always with her! You’re always texting her and calling her and making plans and fuck Louis it’s like you’re actually dating her!” Harry yelled. “In fact I don’t even know why you’re dating me still it’s not like you fucking care anymore!” Harry yelled again walking back to his room to get his stuff. “I’m done, I’m fucking done. I’m tired of fighting for us when you don’t even want this. I am tired of being put on the back burner because you’d rather hang out with your fucking girlfriend. We’re over Louis so have a nice fucking time dating that fucking cunt and don’t wish that she was me.”
(+++)
It’s been a week since Harry broke up with Louis and he’s an absolute wreck. He’s staying with Liam and he hasn’t left Liam’s room since he’s arrived. He cries all day and night and he hardly has the energy to get out of bed, in fact most times Liam has to help him get out of bed and into the shower. Harry feels like his heart was ripped out of his chest and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be okay. He needs Louis. That’s just it, he needed Louis in every aspect of his life. Louis taught Harry so many things about himself about relationships about the world and how to feel and what to believe and what not to believe. Louis helped Harry grow musically and mentally, Louis helped Harry become more confident and outgoing. Louis makes Harry a better person and without him he doesn’t know what he’s going to do, he doesn’t know what will happen to the band. He feels like he made a horrible decision but he can’t allow Louis to walk over him like that despite how miserable his is now.
Another week passed with no word between the two boys and Harry was beginning to lose hope. He didn’t know what to do and Liam already agreed to let Harry live in his flat with him so one day Harry decided to stop moping and just go back to his flat. He told himself that if Louis was there he would just wait until he saw him leave but if he didn’t see Louis’ car then he would go in and get the rest of his stuff. Harry didn’t see Louis’ car in the lot so he figured he was in the clear. Upon entering the flat though it was obvious Harry wasn’t alone. Laying on the couch looking a down right pitiful mess was Louis; his hasn’t been washed in days, his face is red with small break outs, there are bags under his eyes and he looks pale. He’s covered in a blanket and there’s a bucket by the side of his head that smells absolutely vile.
Harry drops his things on the counter like he used to always do and walks towards Louis, almost becoming ill himself. Harry kicks into gear and starts taking care of Louis like he used to; he disposed of the bin and washed it out the best he could before returning to Louis carrying some medication and water. He set the medication on the table and knelt by Louis rubbing his shoulder.
“Baby, wake up.”
Louis groaned but slowly opened his eyes, “What?”
“Lou, you’re ill wake up and take some medication.”
“Is this a dream?”
“No, this isn’t a dream. I need you to sit up for me and take some medicine though, okay?”
Louis started to sit up but collapsed and threw up in the bin. Harry got up to get a wet wash cloth and returned to Louis, rubbing it all over Louis’ face.
“Try one more time but slower for me.”
Louis did as Harry instructed and automatically leaned against Harry as he started to cry. Harry has never been good at watching Louis cry and it wasn’t long until Harry started crying as well. They held each other as they cried and cried and cried, they cried for each other and for the relationship they lost. Once they both calmed down Harry helped Louis take his medicine and they both walked to their bedroom to have a nap together, tangling together like they always did. When Harry woke up Louis was already awake and it looked like he had been crying again.
“Please come back to me.” Louis whispered. “I was an absolute dick and I don’t deserve you but I can’t live without you. Please Hazza, just come back. I need you so much.” Louis cried.
“Louis, baby, it’s not going to be that easy.”
“But why? Why can’t it be? We fell in love so easily the first time we can do it again. Harry please.”
“Louis…” Harry whispered knowing this wasn’t healthy.
“Please? I need you.” Louis said pressing against Harry. “Please.” He whispered again kissing Harry’s shoulder down his arm and back up it again. “I love you, please just let me.”
“Okay.”
(+++)
In retrospect it was probably a terrible decision especially since Harry became sick the next day and they both felt so ill they couldn’t take care of one another nor talk about everything that happened. Eventually though they started to feel better and they talked about everything. It included a lot of tears and confessions and fears and worries but it was all out in the open finally. They had something to work on, something to work towards and they both came to an agreement that Eleanor was to be fired. They both went to their management team and told them what they decided and didn’t give them a chance to say no. It was either no beard or no band and obviously management wouldn’t allow the band to break up so they arranged Eleanor and Louis to break up and already had statements they would say about it in public.
It was about a month post Eleanor break up when the band had their first interview and everyone knew how it was going to go and what Louis was allowed to say but of course Louis didn’t follow the rules.
“Louis how is the single life treating you? It must have been hard breaking up with your girlfriend of three years?”
“Actually it’s funny you say that. I’m not single and no I’m not with Eleanor and I never was. Harry and I have been in a relationship since the beginning of our band starting out. We felt at the time it was our bands best interest to hide our relationship and for me to be dating someone else. Eleanor is a lovely girl and we’ve had a laugh while we hung out but I was never dating her and she understood that and agreed to everything. She did it for Harry and I and I’m grateful but now Harry and I are ready for the world to know the truth about us.” Louis said looking at Harry who was beginning to cry. “Harry is the best thing to happen to me and I’m not going to hide that anymore. Harry and I are in love and we’re happy and we are truly sorry for lying to the fans.” Louis said now looking at the camera. “We didn’t do it to hurt you and we didn’t want to lie to you, we thought it was the best decision. I hope you guys can forgive us for lying and I guess you Larry shippers were right all along.”
After the interview management was furious and they begged the news station not to run the interview but they wouldn’t allow out. The interviewer actually stuck up for Harry and Louis and told management that it was time for the boys to come out of hiding. They’ve done enough of following the rules and it was time for them to be free. Harry and Louis, even the rest of the band, thanked the woman deeply and she just said it wasn’t a big deal and she better get an invitation to their wedding. It was actually smooth sailing after the interview aired. The fans were ecstatic they were finally out and they seemed to understand why they did what they did. Harry and Louis were still getting back into the swing of things but they love each other very much and although they lost their way, day by day they were falling more and more in love with each other all over again.