Schrei So Laut Du Kannst

"We know you three sneaked out last night," my mother announced over dinner twenty-four hours after the bonfire; I groaned inwardly.

"And we're very disappointed. We trusted you, Katy, to not lead them astray."

"It was our fault, Frau Michaels. Katy is not to blame."

"That's very sweet of you, Tom, but Katy mustn't be bailed out of trouble."

"But it was our idea. We'd heard about it and decided that, since it was our birthday, that's how we wanted to celebrate."

"Yesterday was your birthdays?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Oh, Jerrod. Don't punish them. It was a birthday present for them."

'Fine. But if you dare sneak out of this house again, Katelyn, you will be grounded for a month. From everything."

"Yes, sir."

I pushed away from the table and slammed into the kitchen. I could sense their emotions: confusion, shock, anger; and I knew I would deal with the latter later.

"Where are you going?" my father demanded.

Or now... "My room."

"No, you're not. We're having a family dinner."

"Yeah, it sure feels like a great family dinner," I spat. "You're the perfect father, aren't you? Hitting Mom when you think I don't see. Throwing things, screaming, arguing. And Mom's just Susie Homemaker, isn't she? Being all best friend when she wants things to be 'perfect.' She tries to please you, but she's so stuck in her own dreams of how her future would have been if she hadn't gotten knocked up at sixteen. So, yeah, what a wonderful family we have."

"Young lady---boys, go to your room please."

The twins put their plates in the sink and walked out of the middle of the battle. My father waited until he heard the door shut to begin his rant.

"You are way over the line. Do not ever say that stuff again, or I swear to God you'll regret it."

"The only thing I'll ever regret is being the daughter of an abusive, tyrannical, selfish bastard."

Before I could react, he had stood and advanced on me. His hand was hard and solid against my cheek. I shoved him as anger bubbled through me, heavy, hot, boiling.

"Don't hit me. Don't ever touch me again, or I'll call the goddamn cops. I'm not going to stand here and be a ragdoll for your abuse. I'm not! Screw this. I'm outta here."

He looked shocked, but I ran to my room, grabbed my shoes, and shoved them on. Bill and Tom followed me out of the house; I didn't know where I was going. I just knew I needed to go somewhere. I collapsed at the park, on the merry-go-round, and sobbed. The Kaulitz boys sat next to me and remained silent. I couldn't go back---I said so to my friends.

"We understand."

"Can I just escape from this nightmare?"