We're Young and in Love

You Are My Little Star.

Oli’s POV

To be able to spend more time with my family I decided to work from home for now on and only go into the warehouse if I’m really needed. I was sitting in my home office which basically is a small room in our flat just beside the kitchen. Being at home has helped Josh’s and I marriage a lot to say the least. We hardly argue anymore and we talk a lot more again and enjoy each others company like we once did before all the mess.

We take it in turns to watch Hannah during the day, taking the stress off Josh so he doesn’t feel like the pressure is always on him all the time. I would work throughout the day but I have my routine, I would work up until lunch time where I would have about hour, sometimes two hours break to be with Josh and Hannah depending on what they have plan that day. I would then go back to work through the evening, usually up to 7.30ish depending how much I get done but that’s more of less me done for the night and that’s when I spend the rest of the evening with my husband for dinner and help bath Hannah and put her to bed. The perfect family life Josh says.

Hannah is in her baby walker and running around in my office like she was on a race track. She was almost walking now, she could stand up on her own but as soon as she tries to take her first steps she looses her balance and falls down. So for now, she was simple getting some practice in.

I’m distracted by a loud grumpy whine and I turn my head round to see what has bothered Hannah and I see that one of the wheels to her baby walker is caught up in the rug. I get out of my seat and walk over to her when I see her getting restless and I know it wouldn’t be long till she would start crying. I untangle the rug from the wheel and pat her lightly on her head before she’s speeding off around the room again. I chuckle at her eagerness and walk back over to my desk and continue with looking at the first sketches of the new winter rage.

A loud crashing sound fills the room seconds later and my head flings up in fear.
“Careful.” I warn her in a stern but yet soft tone. My anxiety soon disappears when I notice she simply couldn’t slow herself down and ended up driving into the door. I’ll remember to take that into account when she’s older enough and trying to guilt trip me into buying her a car.

"Da-dyyyy.” Hannah whines, hitting her hand on the door which causes me to look away from the computer screen again and look towards her.
“No Snow, you have to stay in here till I finish work.”
I know she must be bored running round my office over and over but Josh was out shopping with his mum and I never let her run around the flat on her own in that thing. So she was currently stuck in my office with me while I work up to lunch time.
She whines again and hits the door to get back my attention but I ignore her. But of course when I do this it causes her to start crying and that’s the one thing I can’t bare to hear. Her little heartbreaking cries have me filling with guilt and that’s enough for me to give up on what I’m doing, I’m never going to finish work at this rate. I guess an early lunch is in order and I get up out of my seat and go over to her.

“Alright Pipsqueak, you win.” I sigh, pulling her up out of her baby walker and resting her on my hip. She immediately stops crying the moment I hold her, she’s knows all too well I can never resist her cries and she takes advantage of it all the time. Josh would give me a massive lecture if he knew I went running to her but I can’t resist her little sad face, it makes me too guilty to leave her there to cry, especially when she calls out for me too.

I place her in her highchair in the kitchen and start warming up some baby food for her. The front door bell rings and it’s the postman delivering a parcel address to me and I walk back into the kitchen with a huge smile on my face.

“See this Pipsqueak, this is one of your birthday presents.” She looks up at me and the large parcel in my hands with a blank expression on her face.
“But shhh, we can’t tell daddy Josh that I’ve got you another present, so you have to act surprise tomorrow when you open okay?” She has no idea what I’m talking about but she beams a big smile up at me in return anyway which makes me laugh. I put the parcel down and take a seat in front of her while I start to feed her, making stupid swoosh noises and motions of an air plane with the spoon full of food in my hand each time, which seems to entertain her enough to eat her lunch.

Tomorrow is going to be my little girls first birthday. I can’t believe it’s been six months already, it feels like we only got her yesterday. So much has changed over the last few months, I mean she’s already started talking and she’s almost walking too, Hannah is growing up fast… I’ll soon be talked into buying her her first car in no time I’m sure, cos I’m a complete sucker. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give her or do for her, she’s my precious little angel and I’ll give her the world. I’ll make sure she will have everything I never had.

Even me and Josh as parents have changed a hell of a lot as well, I was absolutely terrified about becoming a dad but now I love it. It’s still is scary sometimes cos you never know what to expect but I’m nowhere as nervous as I was from the start, I might not be perfect but I think Hannah approves of me. I love my daughter to pieces, there’s not a day that goes past which I don’t adore her or love watching her grow up into this perfect little girl. Me and Josh have been so lucky, I’m so grateful to have two perfect people in my life who adore me just as much as I adore them. And Fuck, Josh. No words can explain how much I fucking love him. He’s been amazing, so patient with me and always made sure to tell me I’m doing a great job with our daughter, yeah we had times where we’ve fallen out and not agreed to a lot of things, but without him here I wouldn’t have had a clue what I’m doing. He’s supported me from day one and not once has he ever doubted me, he’s made me into a better person and I will treasure that forever. I feel like I have a proper purpose to my life now, which is to be the best husband and father I can be and enjoy every moment of it.

“Dada!” Hannah squeals as soon as she sees Josh enter the room, I didn’t even hear him come in I was so deep in thought. He bends down and kisses her on top of her head almost dropping the ridiculous amount of bags he was carrying.
“Josh I thought you said no more presents?”
“I know but I just couldn’t help myself! And they’re not all from me, some are from mum too.” He says, kissing me on the cheek. He puts down his bags and put some stuff on top of the kitchen counter, ready to show me all the things his bought on his shopping trip before something catches his eye.
“What about you? What is that massive parcel right there?” Josh points over to the parcel I forgot to hide from him. Oh crap.
“Well just like you, I couldn’t help myself. And besides, I want her to have everything I never had growing up.”
“Oh don’t worry, she’s been spoilt rotten by everyone already.”
“Did you even get the present you actually went out for?” I ask, seeing Josh smile and pull out a little black box from his jacket pocket and my heart beats with excitement.
“Let me see it!” I jump up from my seat in excitement.
“Not in front of her Oli.”
“She won’t know the difference.”
“Yes she will.”

I roll my eyes but he takes my arms and pulls me over to the other side of the breakfast bar and turns his back to Hannah to make sure she wouldn’t see the little gift we had made for her. He opens up the lid of the little black box and there sat the most beautiful silver necklace with a full heart charm which had the letter “H” engraved onto it. My heart melts at the sight of it, it’s beautiful. A few years ago Josh had got me and himself a set of half heart charms with the first letter of our names engraved onto them, a sign that we were each others missing pieces. But Hannah is the one who makes us whole, therefore why her charm is a full heart.
“It’s perfect.” I say with a big smile on my face.
“I know. I can’t wait to give it to her tomorrow.”
I know she’s a little young to wear jewerelly but this necklace has a real sentimental value to it and me and Josh just couldn’t help ourselves.
Josh puts the box back inside his pocket and places his hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him as he pulls me in for a kiss.

The kiss is soft but held such passion and after only a few seconds, neither of us pulled away from each other and the kiss soon deepens.
Hannah moans to get back our attention as we both just left her sat in her highchair and we break apart from each other reluctantly. Josh looks at me with lust swimming in his eyes and a cheeky smile on his lips, a look I know too well. The look of “later tonight when we’re alone we’re going to have a lot of fun in the bedroom” look and I’m well up for that. I go back over to Hannah, picking up the baby food I left on the side and carry on feeding her her lunch.

Josh began putting the rest of her presents away and hiding them from Hannah’s sight even though she hasn’t got a clue they’re for her but he insisted to still hide them. He came over to show me some party decorations he had bought whilst in town with his mum and along side some pink butterfly cupcakes which we had personally made for the party tomorrow afternoon.

“Dan bought her this cute little music box, she’s going to love pushing all the buttons and watching it light up.”
“Dan was with you?” I ask curiously.
“Me and mum bumped into him in town and he decided to tag along with us and buy the birthday girl some presents.”
“You know you don’t have to avoid Vic just because of me. I wouldn’t have minded if you wanted him to go shopping with you.” I admitted, not wanting Josh to feel like he has to avoid his best friend just incase he upset me.
“I’m not avoiding him. I’m just choosing to spend my time with my other friends.” He says with a small smile and carries on putting stuff away. I sigh, putting down the empty baby food tub and wiping Hannah’s dirty face. My husband sucks at lying to me but I say nothing more on the subject.

Since me and Josh discussed everything through properly made up and, I’ve notice that Josh has been seeing a lot less of Vic. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really enjoying not having him around all the time because I did find a lot of our problems between our marriage were because of Vic despite the excuses Josh said. As much as I don’t appreciate him taking over my family, drooling over my husband and adoring my daughter like his own… I know how much he means to my husband and I don’t want Josh to feel that he can’t spend any time with him in fear of pushing me away again. We talked about it and sorted it, we both understand how we feel now and I know things won’t go back to how they were before so I don’t feel Josh should carry on avoiding Vic like he has been because I know it will only cause some sort of drama over time.

“He’ll be at the party tomorrow anyway, so I’ll get to spend sometime with him then.”

~~~

We’ve been up since the crack of dawn decorating and organising for our little girl’s birthday party. Josh’s parents and Tom came over a couple hours ago to help us set up, Josh’s mum was helping lay out the party food, his dad piling up the big pile of presents in some sort of pyramid, and Tom was blowing up balloons and putting up banners. Josh was upstairs getting Hannah ready, while I stayed downstairs to help every body else set up.

“We’re ready.”
We all turn to face Josh who had all three of us stop what we were currently doing and run over to him and the little birthday girl. She had a white headband over her head with a bow because her hair wasn't long enough to tie up yet so we accessoried and she was wearing a red frilly dress with black shiny shoes and white frilly socks and I couldn’t deny the lump which had formed in my throat from the sight of her. My daughter is honestly the cutest little girl in the whole wide world.

The party had already started and a lot of guests have turned up to spend today with us and make it special for our little girl. I was standing by the balcony doors enduring conversation with my brother and Dan, whilst Josh was sitting on the sofa with Hannah in his lap opening yet another load of presents. This has been going on for at least half an hour or so, I have no idea where we’re going to put all of these presents but I’m so grateful for everyone treating Hannah with lovely gifts. She was currently opening up a present which Liam had shyly handed to her; Liam is Kellin’s three year old son and I’m pretty sure he is the reason we have Hannah today, because Josh would occasionally babysit Liam for Kellin and I guess that made Josh want to become a father and start a family with me. And I’m so glad he did.

The door bell rings and Josh’s dad kindly goes ahead and answer it and through the crowd appears the short tanned Mexican with his younger brother following not far behind him and they both head straight over to Josh and Hannah on the sofa.
“ViVi!” Hannah squeals, doing grabbing hands up to Vic when she sees him. She couldn’t quite say Vic’s name properly yet, so she decides to call him ViVi instead.
“Sorry I’m a little late princess.” Vic grins, picking her up and tapping her on her nose before she buries her head in his shoulder. I still couldn’t understand what it is about Vic she likes so much; she simply shy’s away from everybody else, what was so special about him I’ll never know.
“I tried calling you, I didn’t think you was going to come.” I hear Josh say as he stands up from the sofa and stands beside Vic who hands him a bag full of presents.
“Something came up but I wouldn’t have missed my God daughters first birthday for the world.” He pulls a funny face at Hannah which causes her to giggle. Josh greets Mike with a simple pat on the back and a quick hello before turning his attention back to Vic who was far too interest in Hannah than anyone else in the room.I couldn’t help notice he was acting abit off with Josh, I wasn’t sure if that was because of Josh avoiding him lately or because of whatever “came up” before the party made him act this way. But whatever the reason, I wasn’t having any drama from him today.

“We’re about to play parcel parcel, do you wanna join?”
“Love to.”
Vic sits down on the floor with Hannah in his lap and Josh sits beside him and Kellin sits with Liam on the other side of Vic, along side a few others with their kids who joined the circle to play the game. Josh’s dad was in charge of the music, which was the Disney sound track who shamefully everybody knew the words to apart from me. I didn’t join in the game, I just watched from far away drinking fizzy pop and taking photos and smiling like a stupid proud father as I watch my daughter light up with joy and Oskar having the time of his life shredding up the wrapping paper left on the floor.

“Babe, I think maybe its time we light the cake.” Josh calls out to me and I smile and nod.
“I’ll give you a hand.” Vic says, passing Hannah back to Josh and getting up. There wasn’t much for him to give me a hand with but I accepted his help anyway.

I started taking the cake out of the cardboard box and placing it on the kitchen counter and handed Vic the pack of candles, we only needed one hence why I didn’t really need his help.
Vic reaches a crossed me to get the lighter, his arm brushing against mine and I slightly tense, seeing him glance down at the contact of our bare skin touching. He doesn’t pull away; in fact he lightly brushes his thumb over my skin instead before glancing up at me, for the first time in a very long time with pity and guilt in his eyes.
If I ever gave someone long enough, past the permanent dark heavy ink on my skin you could just about make out the numerous amount of hideous scars which layed beneath.
I pulled my arm away from him instantly as I feel myself become very self conscious.

“Oliver I-“
“They’re the past.” I say bluntly cutting him off, closing this conversation right here. This is something I didn’t feel comfortable talking about to anyone, especially to Vic. He knew I self harmed but it wasn’t as bad as it was when we went to school together… it worsen after I left.

Feeling like Vic eyes wouldn’t leave me alone and afraid of anyone else seeing them, I put my red flannel shirt on over my tank top hiding my arms. Funny, I haven’t felt this paranoid about my scars in years, my tattoos hid them well and now Vic managed to see past them, I’m afraid that others will as well and will judge me not only as a person but as a husband and father too.
I just want to enjoy my daughter’s birthday without worrying about anything. Today is about her and no one else and I refuse to allow anything to ruin that, including this small incident.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” He whispers, raising his hands and generally looking like he didn’t mean it.
“Just drop it.” I warn, in the nicest but yet firm way so he would understand not to bring it up again. Thankfully he listens to me and lights the candle on the cake before he walks over to join the rest of guests who where gathered around the table.
I take in a deep breath to clear my head and not allow this to get to me. I then pick up the cake and turn around to find everyone wearing bright colourful party hats and holding out party poppers ready and singing happy birthday to Hannah.

I walk over to the table with the cake to Josh who had Hannah sat in his lap who’s eyes were fixed on only the cake in front of her, I couldn’t help but smile at her excited reaction.
“Don’t forget to make a wish Snow.” Josh says, helping her to blow out her candle, causing everyone to cheer and clap.
Make a wish? I wonder what she would wish for if she fully understood. I wish for nothing but love and happiness for my little girl, make her life be full of fun, light and beauty and nothing like my childhood.

The cake was cut and passed around to our guests and the party continued for a couple more hours and more games were played and more presents were opened and I can happily say the party was a good success and Hannah seemed to love every moment of it.
The party was now over and most of the guests had already left and some politely stayed to help clear up. Josh comes over to me with a sobbing tired Hannah and I knew it was time for her bed time.

“Da-ddyyy” she cries, reaching her arm out to me and I smile and take her from Josh which she then snuggles her face into my chest as she clings to her duck teddy. I’ve bought her a hundred more teddies and she’s probably got a hundred more today but no matter how many she gets, the bright yellow duck given to her by her God Father seems to be her favourite.
“Today’s worn her out, which means she’ll sleep all through the night.” Josh says in relief, stroking her hair and kissing her cheek gently as she drifts off to sleep on my shoulder.
“Did you enjoy your birthday Pipsqueak?” I coo, rocking her as she falls asleep.
“She loved it. And she’s been spoilt rotten, god knows what we’re gonna do with all these new toys.” He says looking around the room which is covered in toys.
“I think its time we start looking for a bigger place to live.”
Josh whips his head round in shock to me and meets my gaze.
“You mean it?”
“Yes.” I smile and Josh lights up like a kid on Christmas day and he leans in to give me a big kiss in return. I feel my heart clench, I absolutely love seeing my husband so happy and I’m glad I’m the one who makes him happy, I couldn’t ask for a more perfect family.
“I love you.” He says smiling his beautiful smile I adore so much.
“I love you too love.”