We're Young and in Love

Prologue.

Vic's P.O.V

“You’re homework for Thursday is to write at least half a page of lyrics describing you’re feelings this week.”
I turned to Oliver maybe abit too excited about this weeks assignment.
“We should write something together.” I smiled but Oliver was too busy not paying attention, writing down some notes to even notice me.
“Oliver?”
I poked him lightly in the arm with my pen to get his attention, making him flinch.
“What?”
He sounded annoyed.
We were both sat at the back of the class, so no one could really hear our whispered conversation.
“I said you can come round mine sometime this week and we’ll write some stuff together…and maybe cuddle a little too.”
“I’d like that.” A soft smile appeared on his lips, making the smile on my lips grow bigger as he agreed to my invite.
I didn’t really know how to describe mine and Oliver’s relationship… we were just two close friends who would kind of cuddle from time to time.
Even though me and Kellin cuddled all the time as well, but its never in the same way like when me and Oliver did… Oliver was special to me.
I mean, things are pretty complicated seeing as I have a girlfriend, so I didn’t really know what was going on between us… I guess we were friends with feelings?
But to be honest, I don’t even know if Oliver has any feelings for me or not… he never really told me how he felt.
But he never complained or pushed me away when we did cuddle, so I guess he kind of likes me?
Oliver scratched the side of his head; he usually did this when he was nervous about something… I couldn’t help but smile stupidly to myself thinking it could only be about my invite.
His long black hair didn’t fall back into place like it usually did; it stayed ruffled and messy revealing certain markings.
They’re were deep purple blue bruising along his neck, at first I thought they were love bites, I instantly folded my arms and sat in a strop with a sour face. He kept that quiet, he hasn’t mentioned being with any girls lately…
I don’t know why I’m annoyed, I do have a girlfriend and me and Oliver are obviously just friends.
I looked over a second time, taking a longer look than the first time… I notice they were actual bruises not love bites at all. There were a row of four circle bruises; it kind of looked as if someone tried to strangle him or something.
I ripped the corner of my page from my book and scribbled down a note passing it discretely to Oliver. I poked him again in the arm with my pen, making him jump a second time as he turned to face me, I nodded to the note.
“Are you okay?” it said.
He frowned, before writing a note back.
“I’m fine, why shouldn’t I be?”
“The bruises on your neck?”
He shifted in his seat as he pulled up his hood trying to hide away from me. He ignored me and didn’t bother writing another note back to me.
“Oliver.” I whispered hoping he’d answer me but his eyes didn’t leave the white board ahead.
I placed my hand on his thigh which made him flinched instantly, startling me.
What the hell is the matter with him? He never jumps like this when I usually touch him… something doesn’t seem right, he’s acting… weird.
The bell ran and the lesson was over but before I could get a chance to talk to him, he was out of the room like a shot.
I ran after him down the corridor and managed to grab his arm to bring him to a stop.
He hissed out in pain as he clung to his arm, this could only mean one thing.
“You’ve cut yourself again haven’t you?”
“No…”
“Well let me see your arm then.”
Panicked filled his eyes, he looked absolutely terrified at my waiting hand.
“Just leave me alone Vic!” he shouted.
I sighed, shaking my head.
“Oliver, I just want to help you.”
He bit his lip, hesitating to talk to me.
I just stood there, trying to be patient while he thinks about talking to me or not.
When I finally thought he was about to speak to me, my stupid bone head of a best friend had to interrupt us.
“There you are!”
Kellin jumped on my back forcing me to give him a piggy back despite being scared to death by him.
“Kellin what the fuck man?!” I was pissed.
“I was looking everywhere for you dude!”
His arms dangled in front of me, holding a bag of freshly baked cookies.
“You’ve just come from the dentist and now you’re eating cookies?”
“Yep, you want one?”
“Hell yeah.” My hand was already in the bag before I answered, dropping Kellin from my back, leaving his arms still draped over my shoulders.
“You want one Oliver?” Kellin asked holding the bag out to him.
“No thanks.” Oliver said hanging his head and slowing walking away.
“Suit yourself.” Kellin mumbled under his breath.
“Oliver wait, where are you going?” I called out to him but he completely ignored me and carried on walking away.
Oh man.
Oliver’s in the year below me and music and PE are the only lessons we have together, well I should say only music because Oliver always bunked PE which I hated. No matter how many times I tried to convince him to come along so we could at least spend a little more time together, he still didn’t.
I let out a sigh as my eyes followed him until he completely disappeared from my sight.
He was so hard to keep track of.
I hated not being always with him, but he made it so hard to be around when I was with Kellin or Claire.
Kellin was still draped over my shoulder, moaning about a tooth ache or something. Having no idea what had gone on between me and Oliver before he interrupted.

I hadn’t seen Oliver since yesterday.
I tried calling and texting him about a hundred times but of course there was no reply.
And seeing as I’m the only one in the whole entire school who talks to him, no one knew where or who he was either.
I was abit chilly wearing shorts as I was walking down to the tennis courts for PE, knowing perfectly well he wasn’t going to be there.
I started to worry about him… where is he?
I suddenly got a weird feeling… something told me to look over across the school field.
And there he was.
Beyond the field, past the school gates a silhouette was slumped across a benched… i knew it was him.
Panic shot through me, dropping my racket I ran a crossed the field and jumped over the school gates and rushed over to his side.
One of his arms hung off the bench holding an half empty bottle of Jack Daniels, there’s no way this amount of alcohol could put him in this state… he’s taken something.
“Oliver what have you taken?”
I shook him lightly, making him blink several times before his blood shot eyes met with mine.
“Vic.” He faintly croaked out, smiling the most ridiculous smile at me.
Shit, he’s in a terrible state.
I couldn’t take him to school nurse like this, he would get into serious trouble.
His body was limp but I was able to scoop his light weight body up in my arms and carry him back to mine. I had no choice but to skip class, I texted Kellin saying “something came up” and would he be so kind to take care of my stuff I left in the gym changing rooms.

He was sat on my bed leaning against the wall, eyes half open; skin an off grey pale colour, bruises on his neck and a stupid smile on his face.
He was a wreck.
“Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”
“I like to feel numb.” he mumbled.
“Well alcohol, pills and god knows what else aren’t gonna help you!”
He just shrugged, keeping that ridiculous high smile on his face. I held my tongue, there was no point lecturing him, I was just wasting my breath when he’s in a state like this.
I crawled next to him on my bed and just stared at his beautiful face, trying to understand what goes on inside that head of his. I brushed my fingers gently through his hair, moving it away from his neck so I could take a better look at the bruises which heavily stained his neck.
He instantly moved away from me, brushing his hair back over the bruises and pulling up his hood to hide from me again.
“Vic don’t.” his voice was firm.
“I just wanna see.” I complained.
“No.”
I let out a frustrated sigh before leaning back against the wall in a mood next to him. I was just worried about him why can’t he see that?
A minute or two past before I finally gave in and thought of another approach.
I slowly slid my hand into his.
I saw him smile down at our hands, which also made me smile.
“Shall we write some lyrics together? We really need to get our homework finished for tomorrow.”
“I’ve already done it.”
“What? I thought we were gonna do it together?”
He shrugged.
“I got bored when I skipped class.”
I frowned at his answer.
“Well can I see what you’ve wrote?”
He pulled out his book from his bag and handed it to me before leaning his head back against the wall, his eyes almost closed shut.

“One more nail in the coffin, one more foot in the grave
One more time I’m on my knees and I’m trying to walk away
How has it come to this?

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it twice, I’ve said it a thousand fucking times!
That I’m okay, that I’m fine, that it’s all just in my mind
But this has got the best of me, and I can’t seem to sleep
It’s not cause you’re not with me, its cause you never leave.”

“Oliver…” I whispered, stunned by his written words.
My eyes finally left his the messy scribbled down words and looked up at him, to only find him asleep against the wall.
I sighed. Fuck, I think he’s really losing it… I need to help him, one way or another; I can’t let him struggle like this.
He always wrote deep emotional lyrics and closed himself off from the world but the last couple of months it’s gotten worse.
I lent my head on his shoulder and placed my hand back in with his, why can’t things just be simple?
I was staring down at our hands intertwined, when I realised this will probably be the only time I can have a look at his arm…
He was too far gone to realise what I was up to, I slowly pulled up the sleeve of his hoodie which revealed not only fresh cuts he denied but there were serious bruising also.
My stomach turned at the sight that I saw, no wonder he acted the way he did when I grabbed his arm yesterday, he must be in complete agony.
The bruises looked kinda odd; they were like four stripes along his tiny skinny wrist… I placed my hand over the bruises and my fingers fit perfectly over them. Shit, these were bruises of someone’s hand mark! The circle bruises on his neck and now the four striped bruises on his wrist…they all add up. He’s been attacked by someone and they left their dirty hand marks all over him.
“Oliver who’s hurt you?” my tone was thick with concern.
I shot a worrying look up at him, but his eyes were closed shut.
It didn’t take long for his eyes to fly open when my words settle in. He freaked out at his bare beaten arm on show and pulled down he’s sleeve instantly.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” he panicked.
“You’re bruises are from someone’s hand… like someone has seriously grabbed hold of you…”
His bottom lip trembled as he duck his head under his fringe.
“Tell me who’s done this to you?!”
He just shook his head before burring his face into my duvet as he began to cry.
“Oliver!” I shouted, getting annoyed that he won’t answer any of my questions, why won’t he just talk to me? I need to know who did this to him.
He just continued to cry into my duvet, completely ignoring every question I asked him. I felt my heart ache at the sound of his tears, I’ve never seen him like this…it was the most painful thing ever.
I curled up next to him, wrapping my arms around his waist pulling him closer to me.
I wanted him to feel comfortable and safe with me, he needs to know he can talk to me.
I snuggled my face into his back.
“Please talk to me.”
I felt him shake his head, refusing to say a word.
I relaxed my face into his back, accepting the fact he wasn’t going to tell me what happen. We layed there for awhile on my bed and he eventually stopped crying; and I just continued to cuddle him from behind, it was the most intimate we’ve ever been. I know we’re not really doing anything but the hold just felt so meaningful, I never wanted to let go of him…I wanted to keep him safe in my arms forever.
This poor fifteen year old boy must have gone through a lot of shit to be in this state.
I started feeling guilty; I’ve known about the cutting for awhile and the few suicide attempts too…which I’ve be lucky enough to stop him at the last minute everytime. But now the sudden bruises. Is he getting bullied by someone at school? I wished he tell me who it is so I could tell them to back the fuck off.
I took a deep breath to calm myself from getting angry; this is probably why he hasn’t told me because he knows I’ll go mad and that wouldn’t really solve the problem.
But I’m suppose to be his friend… his close friend and I’m suppose to help him and protect him… why the fuck haven’t I known about this?!
I gently stroked his arm through his jumper, comforting him.
“You mean so much to me.” I whispered into his ear, he slowly turn to face me, tears glistering in those sad puppy dog eyes and his nose and cheeks flushed pink from crying. I wiped the tears away as I cradle his precious face in my hands, holding him with such care.
There was a sudden pause as our eyes met; I moved my face closer to his so only the ends of our noses were touching.
I didn’t want this moment end, it didn’t seem real… was this really happening?
There were a few seconds of hesitation before he moved slowly up towards my lips; we were just about to kiss until my phone rang breaking us away and instantly ruining the moment.
Fuck, why now?!
I pulled my phone out my pocket; ready to curse at the person on the other end, but that suddenly changed when I saw the name flashing up on the screen.
Shit, its Claire… Oliver won’t be too happy if I answer, but I have to pick up what if it’s an emergency?
I looked back at Oliver with troubled eyes.
“It’s Claire…I’ve got to answer it.”
Oliver frowned, shaking his head before burring it back into the duvet again.
“Oliver I have to.”
“Whatever.” He mumbled.
I sighed.
Great, now he’s annoyed at me, but I have to answer it she might need me.
“Hey.” I forced a happy tone so she wouldn’t question me.
“Wait calm down, I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
She was in pieces crying down the phone to me, begging me to come round to hers.
“Right okay, stay calm I’ll be right over.” I hung up.
God knows how I’m going to explain this to him? Only I know about Claire having cancer and no matter what I say to him he’s just going to believe I’m being a shit friend that only wants to be with his girlfriend.
I wrapped my arms back around him, hoping he’ll be understanding even if I did feel incredibly guilty having to leave him like this.
“Erm Oliver… I kind of have to go.”
“You’re ditching me for her.” He gritted through his teeth.
“No, it’s not like that.”
“Of course it is, you always run to her whenever she calls.”
“You don’t understand.” I tried to reason with him.
He threw my hands away from his waist as he climbed off the bed in anger.
“Oh I understand alright, don’t worry I’m going.”
“Would you just listen to me?!”
I started to lose my temper with him; he was making this more of a drama than it was.
He was standing in front of my bedroom door, bag over one shoulder, tears welling in his eyes.
“Have fun with your girlfriend.”
“Oliver please don’t leave like this.”
“I’m not the one leaving, you are.”
And he just left.
I punched the bed in frustration, fuck!
I had no time to sit and be angry; Claire needed me with her right this second.

The front door opened and Claire flew into my arms crying her eyes out.
“Hey babe what’s wrong?”
“My hair.” She sobbed. She opened up her hand to reveal a massive clump of hair.
“My hair has started to fall out, I don’t know what to do.”
Fuck, this is happening a lot faster than I thought it would.
My heart sank; my breathing became ragged as my stomach turned making me feel sick from anger.
I looked up at the sky above me and cursed God.
“You vulture!”
How dare he do this to someone so young and beautiful, it’s not her time yet… she’s mine!
My arms hugged her closer to me and she continued weeping into my chest.
I scooped her up in my arms and carried her back inside the house.
Claire grabbed the scissors from her bed side table and started cutting massive random chucks out of her hair.
“Claire stop! What the fuck are you doing?!”
She was in complete hysterics; I’ve never seen her like this before.
“It’s all gonna fall out anyway!” she screamed.
“Babe stop!”
I grabbed the scissors from her hands as she just completely broke down, falling into my chest.
What’s happening to all the people I love? Is God punishing me for something? I don’t understand what I’ve done to deserve all this pain, watching them suffer while I just feel completely helpless to them.
“You have longer hair than me now…”
She said in a whispered croak, stroking her fingers through my long straight hair.
“You still look beautiful.”
I felt her fist tighten onto my shirt.
“I can’t do this anymore, I just can’t!” she sobbed.
“You promised me you wouldn’t give up fighting!”
“I can’t Vic… it hurts too much, its stronger than I am.”
“You’re stronger!” I reassured her.
“No I’m not!”
She was giving up. She just wanted to die and leave me here all alone… what about me? I can’t live with myself if I let her give up so easily, I know she’s stronger than this! She can beat it, I know she can, I’ll refuse to let her leave me behind like this.
“I know that you’re in pain but if we both die at the same time… will it still scare you?”
“W-what?” she sobbed.
“If you give in to this then I will too… I’m not gonna let you die alone, I’ll die with you.” I was surprised by the sound of my owns words, I was an emotional wreck but I didn’t care, I’m not going to be left alone without her… or him.

The next day at school me, Claire and Kellin were standing by the lockers making little conversation waiting for class to begin.
I wasn’t really paying too much to what Kellin was talking about; I was waiting for Oliver to walk by, which not long after he did.
“Hey Oliver.” I beamed a smile, but he completely ignored me. I would be lying if I said that didn’t hurt but I guess I kind of deserve it.
“Well that was rude!” Claire mumbled under her breath but I took no notice.
I stared on after him.
His movements looked stiff and awkward; kind of looked liked he was limping too. My eyes followed him to the end of the hall and waited until the bell rang so I could go after him, not making it look too suspicious to the others.
He was sitting at the bottom of the stairs; head lent against the wall, arms wrapped around himself, completely ignoring the fact the bell had rang.
He looked so lonely.
“Oliver?” I whispered.
He jumped even though I only whispered; but he stood up awkwardly when he realised it was me, holding on tight to the banister.
He had the saddest look on his face, eyes glued to the ground, his presents unsteady... i've never met a boy who looks so alone.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, beginning to worry.
He just shook his head, refusing to say anything or even take his eyes off the ground.
Something was definitely wrong. He was acting way too quiet and weird for my liking.
“Hey.” I placed my finger under his chin and pulled it away from the ground. I searched his eyes, hoping to I’d find answers for his silent actions.
It didn’t seem like he’d taken anything, or was high or drunk… nothing but sadness glistened in those beautiful sunken brown eyes of his.
My heart melted. Fuck. I really let him down yesterday; I can tell he really needs me; we need to have some “us” time.
“We’ll hang out at lunch okay, just you and me I promise.”
I stroked a finger across his pale white cheek, his sad brown eyes looking up at mine with the tinest bit of hope.
“Promise?” he chocked.
“I said didn’t I?” I smiled, before kissing him softly on the forehead.
His pale cheeks flushed pink, his eyes looking everywhere but at me as he shifted shyly. I couldn’t help but smile at his adorable shyness.
I took his hand in mine; the corridors were empty so he allowed me to hold his hand.
“Come on, we’re late enough as it is.”
I walked him to his class and stood by the door until he walked in, making sure he wouldn’t skip class. And then rushed to chemistry which I was now 15 minutes late for.

Chemistry was extremely boring and all I could think about was how excited I was to spend time with Oliver at lunch. I was definitely going to make it up to him, not exactly too sure how… but I was. As soon as I stepped out of class my little brother Mike rushed to my side in full panic.
“Vic! Its Claire, come quick!”
“What’s happened?!” I demanded.
“She’s been sick everywhere!”
My heart sank through my chest, the worse filling my brain.
“Take me to her now!”
We were both lying down on one of the nurses bed, I was holding Claire in my arms, her head buried into my chest.
She put me through a right scare.
“I told you not to come to school today.”
“I’m fine Vic, really.”
“Yeah right.” i rolled my eyes.
“Vic please, I don’t want to spend my last days stuck in bed at home…”
“I don’t want you tiring yourself out.”
“I’m trying to carry on as normal Vic, I’m trying to fight it just like you asked me too…”
I let out a sigh; she was just as stubborn as me sometimes. I held her close to me, I knew it was only a matter of time we had left together but she fighting it just like she promised last night.
I stayed with her all lunch time until her mum arrived to bring her home.
She was on strict instructions by the nurse to relax and take it easy.
Lunch was over and I headed to my music class.
I sat down next to Kellin who was panickly scribbling down the music homework which was due into today.
“You still haven’t done that yet?”
“I forgot ok!”
“Too busy stuffing your face with cookies.” I mocked him.
He only stuck his tongue out at me and continued to scribble down some notes.
I slumped back on my chair smirking at how unorganized Kellin was for this lesson, like come on, even Oliver did his homework for crying out loud.
Holy shit, Oliver!
I turned to the empty beside me, Oliver wasn’t here.
My heart started to race incredibly fast.
“Have you seen Oliver?” I worriedly asked Kellin.
“Not since this morning.”
“Shit!”
“He’s probably bunking, as usual.” Kellin commented.
I know Oliver’s always skipping class, but he’s never skipped music before… something didn’t feel right, he must be angry with me for not showing up at lunch. Fuck, I broke my promise!
I pulled out my phone from under the table but there were no text messages from him, only Claire saying she got home safely.
I couldn’t sit still, I started to get extremely anxious.
I shot up from my seat.
“Sir I really need to go to the toilet!”
“You’ve had the whole of lunch time to go.” he spat.
“I was in the nurse’s office the whole time sir.”
“Fine, hurry up before you miss much.”
I shoved my book back in my bag and threw it over my shoulder.
“What are you doing?” Kellin whispered.
“I need to look for Oliver”
“He’ll be fine Vic.”
“No, I need to find him.”
I rushed out of class and began to search along the empty corridors on every floor, in all the toilets, the lunch hall, the school field, the library, the gym changing rooms but he was nowhere to be found. He probably just went home… Angry at me, I felt guilty as sin, but I got distracted with Claire, she needed me. The look in Oliver’s eyes this morning, I knew then something wasn’t right…I should have just skipped class with him then but no, I thought he would be okay.
Fuck Oliver where are you!
I was going out of my mind, trying to think of a place I hadn’t looked.
The toilets on the roof… hardly anyone went up there, some rumours about them being haunted or whatever bullshit. But I thought I’d might as well go and check seeing as I’ve looked everywhere else.
Even though I didn’t believe in ghosts, I began to get nervous as I heard little sounds of whimpering coming from the toilets.
I entered slowly and leaped with absolute fright when I heard a loud chocking noise.
Please dont say...!
I ran to the last toilet and pushed open the door, to my horror I found Oliver hanging from a skipping rope almost lifeless.
“Oliver!”
I grabbed hold of him, holding him up to take the pressure away from his neck, what the fuck does he think he’s doing?!
He was coughing and chocking from the rope around his neck.
Despite being in complete shock and shaking with absolute fear of his life, I manage to untie the rope from his neck, making us both collapse to the floor.
“W- w-what the fuck are you doing?!” I chocked out, tears blinding my vision, hurt lingering in my throat, my chest feeling like its been ripped opened!
“You promised you wouldn’t try and do this again!” i screamed out.
I shouted and lecture him, while he still struggled and chocked for air.
“And you promised you’ll be there for me today…” he managed to croak out.
Guilt flooded through my entire body, my heart feeling like it was being stabbed a thousand times.
I struggled for words.
“You were with her weren’t you?”
“Oliver please listen, it’s not like that, I just got distracted...”
“No! I just want to die, why can’t you just let me die?!”
He began to cry and choke hysterically.
My heart burned from his words, yet another person I cared about was begging for death.
“I told you before I’ll never let you take your own life!”
I was disgusted, why he would even ask such a thing.
“Why?!” he screamed.
"You don't want me! no one does! please, why won't you just let me die already!"
“B...because… because I love you…”
The words just rolled so easily off my tongue…there was no point in denying the truth anymore.
I was madly in love with him and have been for a very long time.
He fell silent; slowly leaning his back against the wall as he took my words in.
“W-what?” he whispered.
I bit my lip.
“I-I love you.”
Our tearful eyes met.
And before I could even gather my thoughts and explain my feelings, he threw himself onto me, crushing his lips against mine.
I was pushed up against the wall wide eyed in complete utter shock.
Is this really happening?
When I finally realised this was real, I relaxed my shoulders and began kissing him back with total love and care.
The kissed only lasted a minute or two before Oliver pulled away.
“I’m…I’m sorry!”
Oli gasp, covering his mouth with his hand as he tried to catch his breath as more tears started to fall.
“No…Oliver its fine.”
I lent forward caressing his face in my hands, hoping to kiss him again but he panicked and pushed me away.
“No!” he screamed.
“Oliver?”
“No, just leave me alone!”
He got up from the floor and stumbled towards the door.
“Oliver please wait!”
I began to panic as I struggled to get to my feet to go after him, by the time I finally got to the bottom of the stairs, a teacher grabbed hold of me, stopping me to follow after Oliver who had disappeared.
“Mr Fuentes what is all the commotion about?!”
“Oliver please! Oliver come back!” I shouted out after him, hoping he would give in to my cry and come back to me.
The tears refuse to stop falling; more streamed down my face as I fell into complete hysterics.
I was heart broken, something in my mind was telling me if I let him go now, I would never see him again.
“Mr Fuentes will you please calm down!” Mr Wilson was getting frustrated but I just ignored him.
I was kicking and screaming in his hold, i just needed to go after Oliver.
“Oliver!”
I continued to cry and scream out for him…but it was too late, he was gone.
I struggled to get out of Mr Wilson’s hold, who eventually had to carry me to the head teachers office because I was in too much of a state.
They demanded answers but I didn’t give them any.
What could I say? The boy I just admitted I was in love with had just tried to kill himself moments ago…? They wouldn’t believe me.
Another teacher came storming into the office interrupting us; he was utterly furious, holding a bloody tissue to his nose, cursing the name “Oliver Sykes”.
Fuck, Oliver what have you done?!
The sick sinking feeling in my chest wouldn’t go away, why did I feel like I was never going to see him again?