Verona Rose

I woke up crying. I couldn’t breathe through the gasping, and my heart was pounding, and those eyes, those horrid, horrid yellow eyes were in my mind, permanently fixed to the back of my memories like scar tissue.

My lips were trembling, and I clamped my teeth down on my bottom lip, desperately trying to regulate my unsteady breathing. I should be used to this. It had been 9 months since the “accident”, since my shoulder was scarred, 8 months since therapy had started, 7 months since my parents had checked out, and 6 months since Vienna had been presumed dead, even without a body.

Well, really she had been presumed to be dead for 8 months. It had just taken me longer to accept it.

Sometimes I still didn’t.
My second alarm sounded then. It snapped me out of my reverie, the loud, blaring beeps making me look across the room to my desk where the alarm sat. I slapped the off button, but couldn’t stop myself from looking up, at the untouched side, where Vienna’s bed laid, untouched since she had last slept in it. Her pictures flapped against the walls with the breeze from the fan. They were pictures of me and her, posters for movies and bands and books. A layer of dust coated her desk, painted her own alarm clock and favorite bracelet grey.

It took my third alarm to actually get me going. I’d started this multiple alarm thing months ago, when I first realized that I was consistently trapped by memories in this room. The several tardies my teachers gave me also helped me realize it, of course. The only reason the school administration hadn’t done anything about it was purely pitied lenience. I couldn’t help but think that my flawless GPA was partially due to pitied lenience too.

Maybe not, though. School work had been the only reason I wasn’t drowning in tears this year. It was the perfect distraction, the perfect thing to lose myself in so I forgot about Vienna, if only for a few moments.

It was the last day of school. Vienna had been so excited to be a junior, had been positive this year would be awesome. I’d agreed, nearly been excited for it. Until she left me all alone, left with this curse. This was what the school year had amounted to: tear-blurred vision, sideways looks of pity, free
A’s, and days that bled from one into another, a formless stream of agony, sorrow, and confusion. There was also the curse, the one infection of the bite on my shoulder that no one knew about, that no one could cure even if they knew of it. Even if they believe it.

I wanted to never think of it again, but I couldn’t. Tonight was another full moon, anyway. I couldn’t ignore it tonight. Because what the police and everyone else called a “bear attack” was by no means a bear attack.

I was never the kind of person to believe in monsters, but I did now. I had to. I was one.

*~*

The last day of school meant it was a half day. I was possibly the one person in the entire school not excited for the final bell. School was my distraction. Without it, I was scared that I might truly lose myself, might finally just stop caring.

Everyone else was grinning and beaming, giggling and talking, but I couldn’t even smile. Around me, I heard my previous friends—I couldn’t quite call them ex-friends, because they weren’t, though we weren’t really friends anymore either—chattering excitedly about heading to some pool party the moment the bell rang. It was the same party Vienna and I had gone to last year, the one we had eagerly awaited to go to this year, because then we’d be seniors.

I didn’t care.

“Hey, umm…Verona, do you think, maybe, you’d want to go? Kasey invited you…” Beth used to be our close friend. Now I can’t remember why. Besides, they didn’t really want me to come. They just felt obligated to.

“That’s okay. I have work, anyway.” I whispered. I didn’t often speak above a whisper anymore. It reminded me too much of howling, which I realize sounds ridiculous, but I can’t get it out of my head. Everyone speaks too loudly, anyway.

Beth awkwardly nodded and turned back to her friends. They were staring at the clock on the wall, counting down the seconds until we were released. I felt a little guilty about turning Beth’s offer down, but I knew I couldn’t bear it to be there, doing normal things, laughing and smiling and swimming as if nothing had changed, as if there was only ever me, only ever Verona Hawthorne. It felt like I would be betraying Vienna.

Besides. I really did have to work.
That wasn’t the only reason, though. I was a monster now. The bite on my left shoulder had given me an infection I couldn’t shake. Even being in school felt wrong sometimes, if I thought about it too much, like the wolf was merely dozing inside of me, waiting for the perfect moment to break out and destroy this feeble, sort-of-peace I’d found for myself.

I was a werewolf, I was disgusting, I was the same thing that had killed my twin sister.

8 months ago, this realization had sent me spiraling, had sent me sobbing and shaking and screaming, rending my skin with my newfound claws.

But I’d since resigned myself to my own monstrosity. It was what I deserved. I had lived and Vienna had died, and it was the least I could do to make up for it. The wrong twin had survived.

The bell rang, then, loud and piercing, startling me so badly my feet knocked the leg of my desk, sending it toppling. It crashed to the floor with a sound louder than a bomb—to my ears anyway.

Some people snickered, one person shoved me, and another pushed the desk further away.

Well, I thought to myself, at least they’re done with the pity.

This ought to be a fun summer.

*~*

I liked the library. A lot, actually. I loved it. There were no ghosts here, no haunting memories. And it was quiet. Beautifully, mercifully, wondrously quiet. It was a new building, only 5 months old, very open and modern, with wide windows and the smell of thousands and thousands of pages pressed close. I could smell the ink, the dust, intermingling pleasantly with the earthy scent of the plants that the librarian—Mrs. Spitz, the only negative part of this place—insisted we have. They were pretty, but a pin in the ass to take care of.

I loved that I had my job here. I also loved that since it was the last day of school, the only people in here were retirees, trying to find something to fill their days with. The only other people were moms whose children were currently in story time.

The only sound was the shuffle of books as I reshelved. It was easy to forget myself in the sound.

But just then, the door open, admitting a disheveled boy and too-loud street noise. I’d be lying if I said I felt a little bitterness at his intrusion to my peace. I was enjoying the silence and relative solitude, but for some reason I didn’t mind listening to his movements. Curiosity was building..

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him. His skin was pale and his hair was dark, dark, dark, possibly black, but also possibly a secret shade of brown that danced between ebony and mahogany.

He was tall. Over six feet. He had broad shoulders and thick, powerfully muscles, though thankfully not horribly huge.

Thankfully? Why thankfully?

I tried to ignore the strange, stupid, burning desire in me to see his eyes. Instead, I tried to content myself with listening to his movements while I reshelved. But when I turned back to my books, I softly cursed myself. They were upside down and in crazy, weird angles and orders.

Behind me, I heard the guy sigh. It was a sound of exasperated frustration, edged with relief. I didn’t know why, but I wanted to know the reason for his unhappiness.

What am I doing? What’s wrong with me?

I didn’t know why I was so curious about him.

Before I could ponder this strangeness more, though, the children’s story time let out, and I jumped at the sudden sound of all the laughing and giggling and the one kid crying. There wsa always one crying kid, no matter what.

I turned to look, and our eyes connected.

The world stopped. Everything halted for that one moment. We were staring, and suddenly something clicked into place within me, like I just found something I never knew I was missing. My heart had stopped, paused in my chest. A small little smile touched both of our faces at the same time.

His eyes were storm-cloud grey, pierced with sapphire blue.