All My Heart

31st October 2011
Weybridge, Surrey

"Hey, call me back as soon as you can, alright? I'm getting worried." Dan let out a half-hearted laugh, running his fingers through his hair as he cut the one-sided phone call.

He stared at his blank screen for a moment, breathing out shakily. He was sat in his home, on his couch whilst staring at the moving images on the telly. It was an episode of How I Met Your Mother or something, but he wasn't really paying attention. His mind was preoccupied with thoughts of his best friend.

She was never one to completely reject his phone calls and text messages – she usually texted him right back, even if she was upset and wanted to be left alone. It was the same for him, really. If he wanted to be alone – Aria not even being an exception to that – then he'd just reply her texts saying just that. 'I want to be alone.' And he'd be left alone till he felt up to social interaction with other human beings again.

Dan knew what today was. Of course he knew.

But since she hadn't outright told him to fuck off, he presumed that she was just sad and didn't mind having a friend with her.

He heaved another sigh and he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Two hours later; with not a single text or phone call returned.

"That's it." He mumbled to himself under his breath, getting to his feet and going into his bedroom to put on a proper t-shirt in favour of the vest top he'd had on.

He was only going to drive over to Ari's, make sure that she hadn't done anything and then he was going to go back home. She probably wanted to be left alone, and so as the best friend, he was going to do just that. Everyone needed to be alone at some points in their lives – even two inseparable friends such as themselves, contrary to popular belief.

A few minutes later, he was outside her door, quietly pushing the spare key he had into the key hole and then opening the door as quietly as he had slid the key in. He had kept his eyes trained on his hands, as though that would make any door creaks or whatever not happen, so when he shut the door behind him and finally turned around – he was stunned.

The living room was in a mess – pillows, picture frames and knick-knacks all flung across the room from where they'd been previously. The couch was slanted, as though it was kicked that hard. The coffee table was toppled over. The DVD cases were all over the carpeted floor. Broken pieces of glass could be seen from where he stood – presumably from a glass, or a plate.

The place was a wreck, and he could only imagine what Aria was like.

"Ari?" He called out, raising his voice so that it would echo around; his blue eyes landing on her iPhone that was laying idly on the little shoe cabinet thing by the door, as though it'd been left there since the night before and left alone since then – which it probably was.

"Ari!" Dan shouted now. She wasn't in her bedroom, or her bathroom. The guest room was empty. He went back out into the living room area, going into the kitchen as he tugged at his hair. Her flat wasn't that huge, there was no where else she could be.

His heart stopped in his throat as he took in the sight before him. The kitchen was as wrecked as the living room was. But there was something different. In the kitchen, there was a girl – a sobbing mess, curled up in a little ball in the corner of the kitchen, her legs pulled up to her chest as her hands pulled violently at her hair. He caught sight of blood on her palms and he gulped, mouthing the word 'no'.

She let out another strangled sob, as though she was trying so hard to contain it – which she probably was – and that made Dan immediately move forward to pulled her broken body into his own. She resisted him, but he was stronger and he easily manoeuvred her so that he had his arms wrapped around her tightly; one hand on the back of her head so that it would be tucked into the crook of his neck.

Aria didn't say anything, but she stopped resisting him. She didn't hug him back, but she sat still – tears silently dripping out of her eyes as slowly as possible. Her palms were still bleeding from how she'd dug her nails so deep within the skin so Dan gently pulled her up with himself, lifting her up by the waist to place her on the breakfast bar and then grabbing a few paper towels, pressing them to her open palms before pulling her back into his arms.

Unlike before, she pulled away this time, rubbing at her eyes.

"L-l-leave me a-alone. I'm f-f-fine." She hiccupped, her eyes trained on the blood that was seeping through the paper towels. "I'm – I'm fine." She repeated, sniffling.

"No, you're not." Dan said softly, bringing a hand to cup her cheek as he leaned forward, resting his forehead upon hers. "You're not alone, Ari. I know today's a bad day. It's a horrible day, and I get that you want to be alone – I get that. But I also need you to know that you're not alone, and that I'll always be here for you."

Aria pulled back slightly. "I – I don't n-n-need your h-help."

"You're a mess, Ari." He replied honestly.

Why would he lie and tell her that she was okay? She wasn't okay. Why should he just walk out of her flat – pretending like he believed her when she said that she was fine, and trust her to not accidentally hurt herself?

"But that's okay. Because, you're upset, and you're broken – but that's okay." Dan assured her. "I'm your best friend and all I want to do is to help you. We're best friends – and that's what best friends do. They help you. They laugh at you. They protect you. They embarrass you. They put you back together when you think that you're broken beyond repair. I'll pick you up if you fall to pieces, I always will. You just have to let me."

Aria watched him with glassy eyes. He would've liked to think that it was from his cheesy speech – it most definitely wasn't because she wasn't as emotional as most people assumed all girls were but he liked to think that he'd touched a part of her soul or whatever – but it was just really the 'leftovers' from her tears from before. He smiled at her, tucking a hair behind her ear.

"Let me be the one to save you."

***

22nd April 2013
New York, NY

Aria scrunched her nose up and her eyebrows knotted together as she watched Max and Matt stuff their faces with the burgers that they'd had sat in front of them. The aforementioned duo, Aria, and Josh had gone to get dinner together since apparently none of them were up for clubbing. Drinking? Yes. Clubbing? Not so much.

They said that they had a couple days off in New York, so it didn't really matter if they didn't go to the 'hippest clubs' that night. A fan had suggested that they try out the little Bar & Grill that the small group were currently in, since she had been keeping up with the little series that Max and Matt had started on their YouTube channel.

The others were off doing their own things – either with each other, or with anyone else on the tour. They'd asked Dan to come along, but there was something off with him. Even Aria couldn't place her finger on what felt off about him, and she was his best mate.

The younger girl shook it off as him just not being up to going out that night, so the others trusted her judgement and went on their way.

"Why are you eating like you haven't eaten in two years?" Aria questioned in an exasperated manner, covering her face with her hands as she saw people frowning at the two in distaste.

"We're hungry," Max shrugged.

"And we're having a competition. See who can finish the fastest." Matt added.

Aria blinked, then she shook her head with a small scoff. "Idiots."

"Watch your mouth, kid."

"But you're both being disgusting and childish – I mean, an eating contest? Really?"

"Again: watch your mouth, kid." Matt smirked, making her roll her eyes as the other two gentlemen snickered.

"I hate you all."

"Yeah, okay, kid."

----

The brunette pushed open the door to her and Dan's shared hotel room – there were two separate super-single beds so they didn't really give a shit. They often cuddled in the same bed, anyway. She let out a small yawn as she pushed open the door, rubbing at her eyes. She didn't even know why she was tired although she had a suspicion that it was because of the amount of food that she'd had.

"Your mates are insane, I swear –" she started, only to cut herself off as her eyes took in the sight before her.

The sheets were pulled off from the bed – both beds – and thrown carelessly, there were stray feathers from the pillows on the lush carpeted floor, the lamp was knocked over, the vase that was once filled with beautiful lilies was broken and the flowers were ripped apart from their stem.

It seemed like an all too familiar scene.

"Dan?" Aria called out cautiously.

She received no response, making her heart skip a beat. She dropped her purse on the floor gently, pocketing her mobile – in case she needed help from one of the guys. Aria walked into the room, going to the bathroom door and knocking on its wooden surface gently. "Dan?"

No answer.

"It's only me." Aria said softly through the door, knocking again gently. "Come on, Dan. Open the door? Please?"

No answer. Again.

"I don't know what's wrong, and I don't need to know unless you want me to." She spoke honestly, leaning her head against the door while still standing. "But what I do need is to know that you're okay. Please be okay."

He didn't answer, but she didn't move away from the door. She heard shuffling and then the sound of the locked bathroom door being unlocked, so she leaned away; taking a minuscule back to look at the man before her.

A man who looked to be but a boy. A boy who was so upset, and lost, and confused.

Dan opened his mouth to say something, but no words could escape his throat. A lone, traitorous tear trailed down his cheek and he didn't even bother wiping it away. He opened his mouth again, only to immediately clamp it shut.

Aria said nothing, only stepping forward to wrap her arms around his shoulders; his own muscled and inked arms going straight to wind around her waist. He held onto her so tightly – like if he let her go, or if he didn't hold onto her tightly enough, she would disappear. She would become nothing but a memory, or a figment of his imagination.

"I miss him." Dan eventually whispered into her hair after the two stood embracing in the doorway of the bathroom for a few minutes.

Aria froze for a short moment, before she continued to run her fingers through his hair. He rarely ever spoke about missing him – his father – even to Aria. One would assume that since Dave was a father-figure to her after her own father walked out, Dan and Aria would be able to empathise with one another. They did, but Aria would never ever feel the same sense of loss that Dan did with losing his father. She didn't know how to get him to talk, to let out whatever pent up emotions he held in, until the day her mother passed away and she realised that talking didn't do any good.

They said that talking would help them move on. It would help them let go, or whatever. It wasn't true.

Talking about it could sometimes help, yes, but other times, it just made it hurt so much more. It made the loss so much more real – when all you really wanted was to wake up from the terrible nightmare that you prayed you were having.

Dan and Aria had a mutual understanding. Aria wouldn't talk about Dave unless Dan spoke up first, and Dan wouldn't talk about Natalia lest Aria brought her up.

"It'll be okay." Aria eventually replied, whispering it into his ear soothingly.

"I feel like – like I d-d-disappointed him. Like I let h-h-him down." Dan hiccuped, sniffling as he hugged her tighter.

She frowned. "Why would you think that?"

"B-because I'm n-n-not home e-enough. I c-c-can't take care o-of my own f-f-fucking f-family."

Aria's frown deepened as she pulled away from him, placing a hand on either side on his face. "Where's all this coming from?"

He shrugged, unwinding his arms as he took a small step back and wrapped his arms around himself instead.

"Dan..." She trailed off. "Why would you think that? You haven't disappointed him. Don't you fucking dare that you think you're a disappointment. You're anything but."

"I'm not home enough for my mum. I can't even take care of my own family." He spoke quietly and his voice cracked on the last word.

"Says who?" Aria asked incredulously. "Dan, just because you're not home and earning money from a boring nine-to-five job that you would probably hate, it doesn't make you a bad son. You're taking care of your family by doing what you love. You're making money from what you do best – from what you love. There's nothing wrong with that. That doesn't make you any less of a capable man taking care of his family."

Dan scoffed lightly. "A man?" He repeated. "I'm not a man. Look at me: I'm crying. What man cries over something like this?"

"A real one." She replied easily. "You're human. Unless you're a robot incapable of expressing emotions then I stand uncorrected. A human has feelings. A human shows emotions. Sadness is an emotion. Tears are one of the outcomes of sadness. You're human and that doesn't not make you a man."

Dan stayed silent, eyes looking over her shoulder at nothing in particular. Dan never liked seeing people in his weak moments, and crying in front of Aria would be a definite no-no.

"And hey," she started, smiling slightly, taking a small step towards him. "– if you still think you're not a man, then so be it. You're not a man, then. You're a hero. You're my hero."

The older male frowned lightly in confusion.

Aria smiled. "You saved me from myself. Now it's time for you to let me be the one to save you."