Lithium Kisses

A/N: I've decided to show part of this story to Samantha, so that way she'll know how I feel about her. Maybe she won't fucking ignore me after that and actually respect the things I do for her

I still had my inauguration ceremony in January, even though I was now officially the prez. Sum 41 was going to play at the ceremony, along with Bowling for Soup. They were downright HONORED when I asked them, as if it was the best thing that had ever happened to them. I just hoped I could convince Deryck Whibley to divorce that stupid whore Avril Lavigne because he deserved someone far better. She's wasn't even pop-punk, she was just POP but still tried to pretend that she was the shit. Deryck would be good with one of the girls from Blacklisted Me. At least those two had class, unlike Avril and Pandora.

Something was amiss though after the incident at the end of the concert where I had won the presidency. Billie Joe had been holed up in his room ever since and it had been a week since then. Maybe it was the fact that I had to push him away while he was fucking me because it hurt too bad and blood was getting everywhere. I didn't know. This would be so much fucking easier if Billie Joe was a girl and a not a guy. Dicks fucking hurt. Maybe it was the fact that Tre had launched a fire work at the speaker of the house who had been sitting in the first row audience. And maybe it was the fact that Mike refused to talk to any of us because we were "sell outs" in his opinion.

I knocked on Billie Joe's door. He was talking to someone on the phone. "Babygirl, it's not what you think. She and I aren't in a relationship so I'm not cheating on your pretty little ass. No, no, I did NOT get a blow job from one of the strippers back in that shitty old bar. I wouldn't do that to you. That whole thing on stage was just a publicity stunt. Nothing more..." Billie Joe said to someone. It felt as if someone had dumped acid on my mind. Billie Joe was in a relationship? No, no way. This had to be some stupid joke. Or a dream. But if he was, I suppose that had to be okay. He and I weren't dating and I was a lesbian. Even though he had given me kissing lessons, it had been for educational purposes only. Billie Joe opened the door.

"For the last time, I did NOT order viagra... Oh wait, you're not the room service bitch." Billie Joe said in shock. He noticed the sad look on my face. To be fair, I didn't even know why I was so sad. But it was as if someone had squashed my heart like a pigeon squashes a tomato. Tears welled up in my eyes. He noticed the sad look in my eyes and pulled me into his room, shutting the door behind us. There was also a sad look on his face. He motioned for me to sit down on the bed, so I did. There was empty beer bottles and cigarette cartons everywhere. A pair of red checkered underwear was draped over the television. An old stained plaid dildo was laying the corner, because everyone knew Billie Joe liked guys as well as girls. Not many people have that kind of depth.

I told him that I had overheard the conversation. He told me that he figured. "Listen, Heather, I probably should've told you before, but I'm married. And I have two sons." He said solemnly. I nodded. Yeah, that was okay. I didn't care about that. I didn't care. I didn't care. Why was I so sad? My black heart felt like it was breaking into three pieces. The sadness even lingered in my bones. "My wife will be here in a few hours. I just thought I'd let you know." Billie Joe said.

"...That's fine." I whispered "I'm lesbian anyway. I just....I don't know why I'm so sad right now." Billie Joe hugged me tight and ran his fingers through my hair.

"Well, you're feeling sad because....uh...it's not important." Billie Joe tried to explain. Even he didn't know. I thought my idol knew everything though. I tried not to cry but the tears fell out anyway. Billie Joe softly kissed my cheek and the rubbed my back. It felt...nice, I guess.

Just then, the door flew open and there stood a tall woman with wavy black hair pulled up in a pony tail with a red bandana around it. She was thin, pale, and was wearing a shirt wtih an upside down American flag, ripped blue skinny jeans and vintage converse. Most people would've found her cute, but I thought she was as ugly as a pug. Maybe I should replace the picture of Sid stupid Vicious with her picture on my dartboard at home. Something about her made me reallly pissed off. Billie Joe immediately pushed me away. I fell quite hard on the floor. "It isn't what it looks like, Andrienne, she was sad so I gave her a hug!" Billie Joe said quickly. So her name was Andrienne...

I picked myself up off the ground and wiped the dirt off of my converse boots. I tried to smile at Andrienne. She walked over and grinned sweetly. "Hi, you must be Heather..." She said. Relief filled my mind. Maybe she was nice after all. I still hated her though for some reason. Suddenly, she grabbed my the collar of my shirt and slammed me up against the wall with an evil smirk on her stupid stereotypically pretty face. She leaned in and hissed "You may be the newly elected president, but that DOES NOT give you the right to stick your filthy hands where they shouldn't be. Do you understand that?! Then again, it wouldn't matter because all politicians are lying cunts anyway." Then she slammed my head into the wall three times and let me go. I slunk to the floor, holding my probably bruised head. I gave her the nastiest look possible. She just kicked me in the stomach.

Then, Andrienne walked over to Billie Joe. "I may be your pretty housewife, but I'm not completely brainless. If I find out that you've been doing ANYTHING with this tart over here, I'll strangle you with your own tie." She snarled fiercely. Billie Joe cowered slightly and gave me a worryingly look. God, she was a stupid bitch.

"Babygirl, I promise, I wouldn't never do anything that would hurt you. You're truly the last of the American girls to me." Billie Joe pleaded. That seemed to calm her down a tiny bit. She told me to leave though, which pissed me off. I was tempted to flip her off as I walked out, but I didn't want to be hurt anymore. She slammed the door shut behind me, after calling me a "worthless bitch". I couldn't understand why Billie Joe married her. She was ugly, confrontational and probably only used him for his money. And I was the fucking president of the US. I deserved to be treated with a little respect. Maybe I could find someone to assassinate her for free and then leave her bones somewhere in the Nevada desert for the vultures to fool around with. I smiled evilly. I would be sure to look into it.

The light flickered in the hotel momentarily. Then, they shut off entirely. I cringed for a second. As dark as my heart was, I didn't like being stuck in a pitchblack hotel where I didn't know my way around. There was window with moonlight filtering in at the end of the hallway. I made me way over there. But before I could reach the moonlight, someone grabbed from behind and held a switchblade to my neck. The person had a female figure, I could tell because their tits were against my back. I struggled to try and break free, but their grip only grew tighter. The person dragged me into the storage room next to the window. They gagged me and tied both of my wrists together. I was able to somewhat see the person now because I had awesome night vision. She looked like she was in her mid twenties and had short teal hair that was shaved on one side. She was wearing a black latex cropped tank top and shorts and chunky combat boots. Kinda looked like a combination of punk and goth, eww. That meant she was a brainless anarchist who was also cynical AND probably liked strange tattoos. Gross. Looks like I had met my match. "You may be wondering why someone as "important" as yourself if tied up and gagged. Let me spell it out for you, since you look like an absolute moron. I was sent here to assassinate you because you aren't fit for being president, but somehow this ignorant country elected you anyway." She sneered at me, and was looking through a collection of various knives. I squirmed rapidly.

I was the best thing for this country, why couldn't assholes like her see that? Was it because I was emo? That didn't mean I wasn't a person. In fact, I was more than a person. I was an idea and ideas are bullet proof (i got that quote from some movie about a cloaked terrorist that Samantha had showed me. It had a boring and cliche plot, but I liked the quote.) I wouldn't be going anywhere, even if she killed. I'd come back and lead this helpless country from the dead if I had too. Plus, I had to get Billie Joe away from the super bitch.

Suddenly, the door burst open and two bears on unicycles rode in with Tre right behind them. They were all carrying assault guns that were cocked and loaded. I gasped because this was all insanely perfect! Tre had a maniacal smirk on his face and was laughing wildly. Oh yeah, that's right, he was was a self-proclaimed bodyguard of mine... He pointed his gun straight at the assassin, who didn't didn't look all that worried about it. The bears on unicycles shot off their guns in all directions, nearly missing me. The assassin chuckled slightly and muttered something about incompetency, and then slid out the window. Tre strode over to the window, pointed his gun out the window and began to shoot. There were sounds of loud screeches, breaking glass and honked horns beneath the window. "I killed her! I killed her! YAY!" Tre cheered. So he did have his practical uses after all... I gave him a jolly rancher and sent him off to go do Tre things. He and the bears wheeled out.

The hotel suddenly felt very lonely for me again. And then I remembered... Tre forgot to untie me. I was stuck there, gagged and bound. If Billie Joe was here, he'd untie me because I was his best friend but nooooo, his stupid wife just HAD to show up. I tried rocking back and forth to loosen the ropse, but nothing happened. Fucking shit. I then tried chewing them off. That didn't work either. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Just then, Billie Joe walked through the door with Andrienne. He looked very concerned at my predicament but his wife just rolled her eyes. I guess Tre had told him what happened or something. "Stupid fucker forgot to untie you, I see." Billie Joe muttered. He bent down, and gently untied me with a grace that made his wife glare. I couldn't see why. It's not like he had an unnatural interest in me, we were just really close friends. His wife yanked him back as soon as he was done. I stood up, brushed myself off. Billie Joe motioned for me to come with them, but his wife smacked his hand away.

"No, no way in hell. I'm not letting you out of my sight. She's piece of dirt. You have me, and Mike and Tre, that's all you need as far as "friends" go." Andrienne snarled.

She wasn't kidding. I never had the chance to talk to Billie Joe after that...