Sequel: Alkaline Eyes ›
Lithium Kisses
My Idol is a Human Being
A/N: No author's note really for you guys today. But I have some vids for you to check out :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn-6eOxnEMI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icXUkIfZxyg One's by Pierce the Veil and the other is by A Day to Remember. I just know you'll enjoy them.
Tick tock. The slow moving hands of the clock seemed to be mocking me. Tick tock. It felt like I was sinking into the plush leather couch I was sitting on. Mike, my parents and the principal were discussing my fate behind the cold wood of locked doors. Should I feel remorse what I had just done? Of course, but there was also a minute part of me that wanted to do that again, and again and again. Pandora was my soul-mate, I should have the right to do whatever I want with her. I rolled my eyes, thinking of the terrified expression on her face as I kissed her. I was the best damn thing she'd ever have in life, and I knew it. As I was sulking about this, the door opened. The principal, Mike and my parents did not look happy. "Shit..." I muttered under my breath.
Three hours later
Rain poured down on me in an endless torrent. A worn-out plaid suitcase was the only thing that stood by my side now. I had been kicked out of my house and expelled. Wrongfully, I might add. Green Day hated me. Pandora probably despised my entire existence. Even, I despised my entire existence. There was pretty much nothing left for me to live for, but still, I kept on living. I pulled my hood away from my face. When it rains out, no will ever know that you're crying. The streets stretched out endlessly before me. That's when I realized I had left my notebook in my locker. It contained a lot of my secretive thoughts, especially ones about Pandora. "FUCK!" I shouted to no one in particular, although I did scare a cat rooting around in a trash can. I NEEDED to get that notebook, otherwise I'd still be embarassing myself even after I killed myself. The school wasn't too far from my current location, thankfully, so I dashed off towards it.
It was after hours and the school was completely dark,but I went in anyway. This notebook was far too important to leave behind. Sprinting down the hallway, I tripped on a puddle of water that had been leaking on the floor. There was a curious flushing sound in the background along with hints of muffed laughter. "Some cholo probably got his head stuck in the toilet or something" I whispered to myself, beginning to shiver. I didn't want a repeat of all of the swirlies I had to endure last year. Alas, I was too late. The punk girl with ink for milk glands walked out of the bathroom looking overly satisfied with herself. I tried to sneak away but she grabbed me by my hood. She had an ominous glint in her eye.
"Well, if it isn't the bleeding heart activist..." She cooed evilly as she dragged me into the bathroom. "I had to have both of my tits removed because of you, and now you're going to pay." She pointed to her now existent breasts. There were about two goths and one other punk in the bathroom. The punk with the dirty green mowhawk was shoving Billie Joe's head into the toilet. Tears were streaming down Billie Joe's face and his checkered underwear was ripped from having received countless wedgies in a row. His eyeliner was smeared haphazardly and he was gasping for breath. It was almost too difficult for me to bear, seeing my hero at his absolute worst. This time, I couldn't help him and I knew it. I bowed my head as I was dragged towards the toilet bowl next to Billie Joe. His dull eyes were filled with pain.
"No... Don't...hurt..,her" He cried. My eyes widen in surprise. "Let me...take her suffering...for the both us...I can endure it..." They threw his head underwater again and flushed. Over and over, over and over, until his face was drained of color. I begged them to stop. They didn't listen. I begged them to let me go in Billie's place. They gagged me with toilet paper. Finally, after what seemed like hours, they gave us both swift kicks in the head and left us there to wither away in our shame. Billie Joe was no longer moving, water dripped out of his mouth. I nudged him gently. He shivered uncontrollably. I helped him to his feet. The look in his eyes truly frightened me, they were devoid of all emotion. Together, we walked through the hallway, sopping wet.
Outside, we both sat down on the curb, it was raining harder than ever. There was a strange look on Billie Joe's face. It looked like he wanted to say something. "I had no idea you dealt with so much pain...I...I had no idea." He murmured sadly. There was a faraway look in his eye, as if his mind had been transported to another place in time. I wondered why he hadn't fought back against the beating he endured earlier. Someone like Billie Joe who had been seemingly fearlessly defiant in the face of everything was brought down so easily. I wanted to take the memory of his torture, and the dull expression on his face and eradicate it entirely from existence. So I asked him why. Why had he not fought back? Why did he take my place? I had so many questions.
Billie Joe was silent for a moment, and then he spoke. "No one knows this, but this is the highschool I went to. My time there was hellish, to say the least. And I didn't have to just deal with swirlies either. My entire body was bruised from the time I entered school and until the time I left. It was took it's toll on my rebellious spirit in the worst of ways. I even tried to commit suicide, but couldn't go through with it for some reason. So, instead, I dropped out. Green Day has been my solace ever since then and allowed me to forget all of the pain I felt." His voice cracked as he spoke. Then, he held up his wrists for me to see. Very faint, faded scars lined both of them. Hesitantly, I brought both of them to my lips, kissing them gently. My gaze met Billie's and it felt as if our very souls were connected. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. No one, not even Pandora, understood me like this. I could his feel the rhythm of his heart beat pulsating.
We stayed like that for a long time, letting the rain wash away at us. Then, Billie Joe suddenly asked me "Do you know why I love the rain?".
"Why?" I asked, needing to know.
"Because, you can cry as much as you want and no one will ever know..." He whispered. I nodded, understanding completely. Then it hit me, my idol was human after all, just like me.
I was almost sad about this.
Tick tock. The slow moving hands of the clock seemed to be mocking me. Tick tock. It felt like I was sinking into the plush leather couch I was sitting on. Mike, my parents and the principal were discussing my fate behind the cold wood of locked doors. Should I feel remorse what I had just done? Of course, but there was also a minute part of me that wanted to do that again, and again and again. Pandora was my soul-mate, I should have the right to do whatever I want with her. I rolled my eyes, thinking of the terrified expression on her face as I kissed her. I was the best damn thing she'd ever have in life, and I knew it. As I was sulking about this, the door opened. The principal, Mike and my parents did not look happy. "Shit..." I muttered under my breath.
Three hours later
Rain poured down on me in an endless torrent. A worn-out plaid suitcase was the only thing that stood by my side now. I had been kicked out of my house and expelled. Wrongfully, I might add. Green Day hated me. Pandora probably despised my entire existence. Even, I despised my entire existence. There was pretty much nothing left for me to live for, but still, I kept on living. I pulled my hood away from my face. When it rains out, no will ever know that you're crying. The streets stretched out endlessly before me. That's when I realized I had left my notebook in my locker. It contained a lot of my secretive thoughts, especially ones about Pandora. "FUCK!" I shouted to no one in particular, although I did scare a cat rooting around in a trash can. I NEEDED to get that notebook, otherwise I'd still be embarassing myself even after I killed myself. The school wasn't too far from my current location, thankfully, so I dashed off towards it.
It was after hours and the school was completely dark,but I went in anyway. This notebook was far too important to leave behind. Sprinting down the hallway, I tripped on a puddle of water that had been leaking on the floor. There was a curious flushing sound in the background along with hints of muffed laughter. "Some cholo probably got his head stuck in the toilet or something" I whispered to myself, beginning to shiver. I didn't want a repeat of all of the swirlies I had to endure last year. Alas, I was too late. The punk girl with ink for milk glands walked out of the bathroom looking overly satisfied with herself. I tried to sneak away but she grabbed me by my hood. She had an ominous glint in her eye.
"Well, if it isn't the bleeding heart activist..." She cooed evilly as she dragged me into the bathroom. "I had to have both of my tits removed because of you, and now you're going to pay." She pointed to her now existent breasts. There were about two goths and one other punk in the bathroom. The punk with the dirty green mowhawk was shoving Billie Joe's head into the toilet. Tears were streaming down Billie Joe's face and his checkered underwear was ripped from having received countless wedgies in a row. His eyeliner was smeared haphazardly and he was gasping for breath. It was almost too difficult for me to bear, seeing my hero at his absolute worst. This time, I couldn't help him and I knew it. I bowed my head as I was dragged towards the toilet bowl next to Billie Joe. His dull eyes were filled with pain.
"No... Don't...hurt..,her" He cried. My eyes widen in surprise. "Let me...take her suffering...for the both us...I can endure it..." They threw his head underwater again and flushed. Over and over, over and over, until his face was drained of color. I begged them to stop. They didn't listen. I begged them to let me go in Billie's place. They gagged me with toilet paper. Finally, after what seemed like hours, they gave us both swift kicks in the head and left us there to wither away in our shame. Billie Joe was no longer moving, water dripped out of his mouth. I nudged him gently. He shivered uncontrollably. I helped him to his feet. The look in his eyes truly frightened me, they were devoid of all emotion. Together, we walked through the hallway, sopping wet.
Outside, we both sat down on the curb, it was raining harder than ever. There was a strange look on Billie Joe's face. It looked like he wanted to say something. "I had no idea you dealt with so much pain...I...I had no idea." He murmured sadly. There was a faraway look in his eye, as if his mind had been transported to another place in time. I wondered why he hadn't fought back against the beating he endured earlier. Someone like Billie Joe who had been seemingly fearlessly defiant in the face of everything was brought down so easily. I wanted to take the memory of his torture, and the dull expression on his face and eradicate it entirely from existence. So I asked him why. Why had he not fought back? Why did he take my place? I had so many questions.
Billie Joe was silent for a moment, and then he spoke. "No one knows this, but this is the highschool I went to. My time there was hellish, to say the least. And I didn't have to just deal with swirlies either. My entire body was bruised from the time I entered school and until the time I left. It was took it's toll on my rebellious spirit in the worst of ways. I even tried to commit suicide, but couldn't go through with it for some reason. So, instead, I dropped out. Green Day has been my solace ever since then and allowed me to forget all of the pain I felt." His voice cracked as he spoke. Then, he held up his wrists for me to see. Very faint, faded scars lined both of them. Hesitantly, I brought both of them to my lips, kissing them gently. My gaze met Billie's and it felt as if our very souls were connected. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. No one, not even Pandora, understood me like this. I could his feel the rhythm of his heart beat pulsating.
We stayed like that for a long time, letting the rain wash away at us. Then, Billie Joe suddenly asked me "Do you know why I love the rain?".
"Why?" I asked, needing to know.
"Because, you can cry as much as you want and no one will ever know..." He whispered. I nodded, understanding completely. Then it hit me, my idol was human after all, just like me.
I was almost sad about this.