Sequel: Alkaline Eyes ›
Lithium Kisses
The Lunatics Have Taken Over the Asylum
A/N: Someday, I do genuinely hope to be the president of the US. I bet I could fix up this country in a day. Samantha still isn't talking to me. I hope I didn't do anything too bad to make her act like this. I bleached my hair and gave it red streaks on Friday. Personally, I think I look bad ass. Anyway, does anyone else think Green Day is one the most inspiring bands in the world. I mean, look at all they've accomplished! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wY9Bbb7VcQ8
It felt like I had been asleep for a thousand years once I woke up. But I felt peaceful. My head was still resting on Billie Joe's lap. I felt embarrased. How long had it been there for? I sat up. Billie Joe yawned loudly, looking quite content. He ruffled my hair affectionately. "Heh, you were asleep for quite a while. Do you feel better?" He asked. I nodded. He took a swig of beer. His breath reeked of alchohol. My heart sank. It looked like a month in rehab didn't even put a dent into his obsession with alcholol. Hopefully he wouldn't do anything too stupid.
"Is Mike and Tre back yet?" I asked. Billie Joe shook his head and burped. He patted his belly. "It's just me and you tonight, sugar." He said contently. Well, maybe he wasn't that drunk after all. There was rerun of Jerry Springer on the television and the reception was horrible. Billie Joe got up and began kicking the television as hard as he could. The screen flickered and began to smoke. "Fucking...Stupid TV...Work, you motherfucker." He slurred angrily. Okay, so maybe he was drunk. It was nothing I couldn't handle. Billie Joe picked up the television and then hurled it out the window. "Stupid fucker...That'll teach yeh." I decided that now what would be a good time to lock myself in the bathroom so that I wouldn't get thrown out the window next.
I quickly dashed to the bathroom and locked the door. My heart was pounding loudly in my chest. I quickly tried to catch my breath. And than I screamed. There were hamsters swimming in the toilet. And in the sink, and in the bathtub. And they were squeaking. Billie Joe busted down the door. "What's the- HOLY SHIT! Why are there hamsters in the goddamn toilet?!" He shouted in disbelief drunkenly. Then it dawned on us. Tre. No one else was even capable of this kind of insanity besides him. They were scampering everywhere. I had no idea what to do.
Billie Joe ran out and came back with a frying pan. I tried to wrench it from his grasp to no avail. "Don't hurt them. I don't want to have to clean up their bodies." I begged desperately. That wasn't what he had in mind. The pan was sizzling with bacon in it. The hamsters stopped squeaking for a second. "Get the bacon, you little fuckers." Billie Joe slurred. Stampeding, the hamsters chased Billie Joe out of the bathroom, squeaking louder than ever. I followed.
And then I heard a door slam. Mike and Tre were back. I gulped. There were Hamsters in everything. On the couch, in the television, playing in the cereal box, chewing on Billie Joe's underwear. It was pure fucking chaos and it looked like Billie Joe and Tre were loving everything minute of it. Billie Joe almost had a few of the hamsters out the door, and was waving the frying pan frequently when he accidentally hit Mike in the face with it, bacon and everything. Mike fell against the wall, swearing because of the pain. There was a large abrasion the size and color of mars on his face. Now on the floor, Billie Joe was frantically trying to get the swarming hamsters off of his face. Tre stood in the corner, cooing over how cute they were. "Do something." I mouthed to him. He shook his head.
"Noooo, they're my precious little babies that I rescued from a pet store. I was trying to teach them how to swim, but then you meanies ruined it." Tre pouted, crossing his arms. Even I wanted to strangle Tre at this point. It was shocking how Green Day had become so popular with his antics constantly holding them down. They were even stronger than I previously thought. I picked up a slinky and held it out to Tre. He shook his head. "Nuh uh." He continued to pout.
"Please... I don't you to have to run after Mike again." I pleaded. Tre thought for a moment. Then a giant grin appeared on his face. He rummaged around in his pockets and pulled out a harmonica and began to play. The hamsters stopped swarming Billie Joe and perked up their tiny little ears. Tre skipped out the door, and the hamsters stampeded after him. Mike just stared at him. "Go forth and let your feces safely multiply" Tre cried out sadly.
"So you knew how to get rid of them this whole time." Mike said firmly. Tre nodded sadly. It looked like he really missed the hamsters. Billie Joe looked like he was going to strangle him, but it was Mike who acted first. He hoisted a flailing Tre up in the air and chucked him out the already broken window, scattering glass everywhere. I tried not to laugh. Mike was usually the quiet, calm and sensible one of the group. It was always the quiet ones that are the most violent. I began to wonder if Pandora was the same way. It could be fun...
Everything calmed down for the most part after that. Mike declared that he was going to bed. Tre followed after him like a child that had just been severely scolded. I bent down and helped Billie Joe stand up. Immediately cracking open yet another beer, he downed it in only three gulps and hurled it at the wall. Then he bitched about the television. I was now too exhausted to give a shit. He drunkenly poked around, looking for something to do. Finally, he sank down on the couch next to me and slung his arm around me, pulling me close. "You look sooo bored, sugar" He hissed directly in my hear. I shivered uncomfortably. Should I feel awkward about this? He planted several soft kisses on my neck. I giggled uncomfortably and tried to pull away. "Whasamatter...best friends do this allll the tiiime. And we're best friends, aren't we?" He whispered, breathing his hot breath on my neck. I didn't know what to say to this. Pandora had never tried to do this with me, but she was also extremely shy, so maybe that's why it never happened. Billie Joe seemed like a nice person, and he was a nice person, so maybe I could trust him on this. No. I was strictly a lesbian. And I belonged to Pandora. No one else. I managed to push him away.
Billie Joe huffed impatiently. He rummaged around in a pile of magazines for a minute. It looked like he was desperate to find a certain one. After ten minutes, he gave up, and walked out of the bus. I debated whether or not I should follow him. He looked like he might get himself into trouble, so I followed distantly behind him. We reached the shitty part of town where the cholos and goths tend to hang out in large, violent groups. Right then, I wished I would have carried a knife. He entered a small looking bar that had electronic music blasting from it. I followed closely behind him. I was expecting lots of drunk people but I was definitely NOT expecting lots of half naked girls with burly guys jerring wildly over them. The girls were sexy but the guys were not. I sat down at a table behind Billie Joe, wondering why he would come to one of these places in the first place. I did not peg him as that kind of person.
There three people dancing on stage. A hick girl that was wearing a pink camo thong, a scrawny looking man that had loads of piercing and very long black hair. Billie Joe was eying him closely. I realized who the last person was with a shock. It was Pandora!! She must've recognized me as well, because she suddenly looked more uncomfortable than she already was. I waved to her, trying to get her to come over here. When she didn't respond, I stood up and yanked her off the stage by her ankle. There was lots of cheering but I smacked the people away that were trying to manhandle her. They began to bitch about how I should share with other people. I asked her why she was here, of all places. She shook violently before answering. "I've been trying to raise money to help the transsexuals in my school." She whispered. I gasped in disbelief. She hadn't forgotten about me and the cause we were fighting for! I was so overjoyed and excited. Maybe she loved me just like I loved her.
"You did this all for me, Panda?!" I asked excitedly and was prepared to hug her tight. Pandora, however, shook her head.
"No. I'm not doing this for you. This was never about you. This is about them." She whispered back. It felt like my heart was being ripped out. Helping out the transsexuals was MY idea, not hers. She had no right to raise money without me. I looked at her for a few seconds and then shoved her as hard as I could into the crowd of drunk people. There was a tip jar with her name on it on the stage with hundreds of dollars in it. I reached in and grabbed all of the money, stuffing it into my pocket. Serves her right for deserting me.
Everyone was rowdier than ever now that they had a hot naked girl to fight over. Billie Joe was still sitting at a table in the corner but the scrawny guy with tattoos was under it. Billie Joe looked like he was yawning. The tattooed guy stood up, wiping some random white goo off his face. "You don't look like the kind of person who should be in here." He said before walking off. Billie Joe noticed me.
"Heeey, Heather. When did you get heeeere." He slurred tiredly. I tried to pull him from his seat so that we could leave but he wouldn't budge. "Hey, hey, hey. Whastherush?" He asked. I told him that I was tired and wanted to get back to the bus. There was no one on stage at this point. Billie Joe thought for a moment, and stood up. This was good, now I could finally go home and sleep. Instead of walking with towards the exit, Billie Joe climbed up on stage. He clumsily grabbed the microphone. "Hey, you drunk motherfuckers! I'm Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day, the best damn band in the entire universe! I'm gonna put on a sexy show for all of you because you little shits asked for it!" He shouted. I groaned in exasperation. The crowd cheered.
Billie Joe began removing his tie and shirt. Sweat dripped down him like a faucet. Then he bent over and smacked his own ass a few times. I left at that point. There was probably no way I could convince him to come with me. Alone, I walked back to the tour bus.
There just had to be a downside to everything.
It felt like I had been asleep for a thousand years once I woke up. But I felt peaceful. My head was still resting on Billie Joe's lap. I felt embarrased. How long had it been there for? I sat up. Billie Joe yawned loudly, looking quite content. He ruffled my hair affectionately. "Heh, you were asleep for quite a while. Do you feel better?" He asked. I nodded. He took a swig of beer. His breath reeked of alchohol. My heart sank. It looked like a month in rehab didn't even put a dent into his obsession with alcholol. Hopefully he wouldn't do anything too stupid.
"Is Mike and Tre back yet?" I asked. Billie Joe shook his head and burped. He patted his belly. "It's just me and you tonight, sugar." He said contently. Well, maybe he wasn't that drunk after all. There was rerun of Jerry Springer on the television and the reception was horrible. Billie Joe got up and began kicking the television as hard as he could. The screen flickered and began to smoke. "Fucking...Stupid TV...Work, you motherfucker." He slurred angrily. Okay, so maybe he was drunk. It was nothing I couldn't handle. Billie Joe picked up the television and then hurled it out the window. "Stupid fucker...That'll teach yeh." I decided that now what would be a good time to lock myself in the bathroom so that I wouldn't get thrown out the window next.
I quickly dashed to the bathroom and locked the door. My heart was pounding loudly in my chest. I quickly tried to catch my breath. And than I screamed. There were hamsters swimming in the toilet. And in the sink, and in the bathtub. And they were squeaking. Billie Joe busted down the door. "What's the- HOLY SHIT! Why are there hamsters in the goddamn toilet?!" He shouted in disbelief drunkenly. Then it dawned on us. Tre. No one else was even capable of this kind of insanity besides him. They were scampering everywhere. I had no idea what to do.
Billie Joe ran out and came back with a frying pan. I tried to wrench it from his grasp to no avail. "Don't hurt them. I don't want to have to clean up their bodies." I begged desperately. That wasn't what he had in mind. The pan was sizzling with bacon in it. The hamsters stopped squeaking for a second. "Get the bacon, you little fuckers." Billie Joe slurred. Stampeding, the hamsters chased Billie Joe out of the bathroom, squeaking louder than ever. I followed.
And then I heard a door slam. Mike and Tre were back. I gulped. There were Hamsters in everything. On the couch, in the television, playing in the cereal box, chewing on Billie Joe's underwear. It was pure fucking chaos and it looked like Billie Joe and Tre were loving everything minute of it. Billie Joe almost had a few of the hamsters out the door, and was waving the frying pan frequently when he accidentally hit Mike in the face with it, bacon and everything. Mike fell against the wall, swearing because of the pain. There was a large abrasion the size and color of mars on his face. Now on the floor, Billie Joe was frantically trying to get the swarming hamsters off of his face. Tre stood in the corner, cooing over how cute they were. "Do something." I mouthed to him. He shook his head.
"Noooo, they're my precious little babies that I rescued from a pet store. I was trying to teach them how to swim, but then you meanies ruined it." Tre pouted, crossing his arms. Even I wanted to strangle Tre at this point. It was shocking how Green Day had become so popular with his antics constantly holding them down. They were even stronger than I previously thought. I picked up a slinky and held it out to Tre. He shook his head. "Nuh uh." He continued to pout.
"Please... I don't you to have to run after Mike again." I pleaded. Tre thought for a moment. Then a giant grin appeared on his face. He rummaged around in his pockets and pulled out a harmonica and began to play. The hamsters stopped swarming Billie Joe and perked up their tiny little ears. Tre skipped out the door, and the hamsters stampeded after him. Mike just stared at him. "Go forth and let your feces safely multiply" Tre cried out sadly.
"So you knew how to get rid of them this whole time." Mike said firmly. Tre nodded sadly. It looked like he really missed the hamsters. Billie Joe looked like he was going to strangle him, but it was Mike who acted first. He hoisted a flailing Tre up in the air and chucked him out the already broken window, scattering glass everywhere. I tried not to laugh. Mike was usually the quiet, calm and sensible one of the group. It was always the quiet ones that are the most violent. I began to wonder if Pandora was the same way. It could be fun...
Everything calmed down for the most part after that. Mike declared that he was going to bed. Tre followed after him like a child that had just been severely scolded. I bent down and helped Billie Joe stand up. Immediately cracking open yet another beer, he downed it in only three gulps and hurled it at the wall. Then he bitched about the television. I was now too exhausted to give a shit. He drunkenly poked around, looking for something to do. Finally, he sank down on the couch next to me and slung his arm around me, pulling me close. "You look sooo bored, sugar" He hissed directly in my hear. I shivered uncomfortably. Should I feel awkward about this? He planted several soft kisses on my neck. I giggled uncomfortably and tried to pull away. "Whasamatter...best friends do this allll the tiiime. And we're best friends, aren't we?" He whispered, breathing his hot breath on my neck. I didn't know what to say to this. Pandora had never tried to do this with me, but she was also extremely shy, so maybe that's why it never happened. Billie Joe seemed like a nice person, and he was a nice person, so maybe I could trust him on this. No. I was strictly a lesbian. And I belonged to Pandora. No one else. I managed to push him away.
Billie Joe huffed impatiently. He rummaged around in a pile of magazines for a minute. It looked like he was desperate to find a certain one. After ten minutes, he gave up, and walked out of the bus. I debated whether or not I should follow him. He looked like he might get himself into trouble, so I followed distantly behind him. We reached the shitty part of town where the cholos and goths tend to hang out in large, violent groups. Right then, I wished I would have carried a knife. He entered a small looking bar that had electronic music blasting from it. I followed closely behind him. I was expecting lots of drunk people but I was definitely NOT expecting lots of half naked girls with burly guys jerring wildly over them. The girls were sexy but the guys were not. I sat down at a table behind Billie Joe, wondering why he would come to one of these places in the first place. I did not peg him as that kind of person.
There three people dancing on stage. A hick girl that was wearing a pink camo thong, a scrawny looking man that had loads of piercing and very long black hair. Billie Joe was eying him closely. I realized who the last person was with a shock. It was Pandora!! She must've recognized me as well, because she suddenly looked more uncomfortable than she already was. I waved to her, trying to get her to come over here. When she didn't respond, I stood up and yanked her off the stage by her ankle. There was lots of cheering but I smacked the people away that were trying to manhandle her. They began to bitch about how I should share with other people. I asked her why she was here, of all places. She shook violently before answering. "I've been trying to raise money to help the transsexuals in my school." She whispered. I gasped in disbelief. She hadn't forgotten about me and the cause we were fighting for! I was so overjoyed and excited. Maybe she loved me just like I loved her.
"You did this all for me, Panda?!" I asked excitedly and was prepared to hug her tight. Pandora, however, shook her head.
"No. I'm not doing this for you. This was never about you. This is about them." She whispered back. It felt like my heart was being ripped out. Helping out the transsexuals was MY idea, not hers. She had no right to raise money without me. I looked at her for a few seconds and then shoved her as hard as I could into the crowd of drunk people. There was a tip jar with her name on it on the stage with hundreds of dollars in it. I reached in and grabbed all of the money, stuffing it into my pocket. Serves her right for deserting me.
Everyone was rowdier than ever now that they had a hot naked girl to fight over. Billie Joe was still sitting at a table in the corner but the scrawny guy with tattoos was under it. Billie Joe looked like he was yawning. The tattooed guy stood up, wiping some random white goo off his face. "You don't look like the kind of person who should be in here." He said before walking off. Billie Joe noticed me.
"Heeey, Heather. When did you get heeeere." He slurred tiredly. I tried to pull him from his seat so that we could leave but he wouldn't budge. "Hey, hey, hey. Whastherush?" He asked. I told him that I was tired and wanted to get back to the bus. There was no one on stage at this point. Billie Joe thought for a moment, and stood up. This was good, now I could finally go home and sleep. Instead of walking with towards the exit, Billie Joe climbed up on stage. He clumsily grabbed the microphone. "Hey, you drunk motherfuckers! I'm Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day, the best damn band in the entire universe! I'm gonna put on a sexy show for all of you because you little shits asked for it!" He shouted. I groaned in exasperation. The crowd cheered.
Billie Joe began removing his tie and shirt. Sweat dripped down him like a faucet. Then he bent over and smacked his own ass a few times. I left at that point. There was probably no way I could convince him to come with me. Alone, I walked back to the tour bus.
There just had to be a downside to everything.