May the Gods Be Ever in Your Favour

**Jimmy's POV**

I sat on my throne sipping a Heineken, pondering what Zeus had said. He had stormed out of the room, leaving the rest of us to chat and what not.

I took in the faces of my "family."
Then, I saw her. She had the beauty of a thousand woman, even more so than my niece, Aphrodite. She had dark brown hair with blonde bangs. She was laughing at something Athena had said (who was actually a guy...). I had learned his mortal name was Rian Dawson. Her laugh was light and tinkly and her smile was perfectly straight with pearly perfect white teeth. It made my heart beat fast and butterflies invade my stomach.

Wait, what??

I was the lord of the dead!!! Why was I getting all googly eyed at a petty goddess???

Despite my better judgment, I got up and walked over to her and pushed Athena to the side.

"'Scccuse me miss, I just couldn't help but notice you from over there. I'm Hades." I held out my hand.

"Oh I know who you are," she sneered. "I could see you drooling from here."

"Hey!!" Athena shouted.

"What?" I spat.

"I was talking to her first!" he whined like a three year old.

"Dude, piss off," I replied, deflecting his comment.

"Just because you're the lord of the dead doesn't mean you're hot shit! At least I know who she is!!" He yelled, getting up in my face. Some of his rogue spit landed on my nose.
I wiped it off and turned towards him.

"AT LEASE I DON'T HAVE A GIRL'S NAME!" I roared, my anger boiling over the edge.

"I AM NOT A WOMAN!!!!!" He bellowed, his face turning red. He then turned and marched off in anger, stomping his feet like a three year old.

"Well, back to you my lady," I said turning back to the beauty behind me. "Who might you be?"

"Persephone. Your wife," she replied flatly, crossing her arms.

My jaw dropped.

She smacked me. "Next time, try not to be such a dick! You already keep me hostage six months out of the year, you could at least try to be nice once in a while!!" She shouted and stomped off as all of the other gods and goddesses laughed and pointed at me.

I could feel my face getting hot. I marched out of the room with my fists clenched and down the golden steps.

I punched one of the massive golden pillars.

"FUUUUUUUCK ME!!!" I yelled, nursing my throbbing hand.

"Not having such good luck with the ladies, huh Hades?" I heard a voice say.

I turned in a circle. Nothing.

Then a very short man -erm- goat? materialized before me. His torso was that of a man, but his bottom half was furry and he had hooves. Upon his head, nestled in his blonde an black hair, were tiny horns. I began to laugh.

"Looks like you won't be either, goat man!!" I fell to the floor and laughed my ass off until tears were streaming down my face. He sighed and cleared his throat.

"Are you finished now, asshole? You already haven't been getting on anybody's good side so, I guess I'll be the first to look past your flaws," he shrugged.

"And who the hell are you?" I asked.

"I'm a mix of Pan, god of -- and Phosphorous, god of --. The two both picked me, so I'm stuck in between with both of their duties. So basically, I'm the anti-Christ satyr," he replied.

I stifled another laugh, thinking that maybe I should be making friends.

"Hmm. Alrighty then," I said.

"You can call me Johnny, Johnny Christ," he replied, holding out his hand. I took it.

"You can call me Master," I offered.

"How about no..." he sighed.

"Okay... Call me Jimmy."

"That's better. Now about this whole prophecy thing..." he began.

***

As it turns out, the anti-Christ satyr dude was actually pretty smart. He had told me more about the Olympians past and informed me of who I had for allies and who weren't so fond of me. The only one I really cared for was Persephone. She reminded me so much of my girl friend back home... I shook my head. No. Bad Jimmy. God business is going on now.

Anyways, Johnny had convinced me to strike a meeting with Zeus and Poseidon. Just the Big Three, so we could discuss what to do about the prophecy. Some of the minor gods were starting to get antsy. Mostly Ares, but gods know that all he wants is a good ol' war.

I returned to my kingdom and was laying in bed when the thought occurred to me, or I should say one of my servants mentioned it to me, that before we did anything at all, the oracle needed to be consulted. But I would let Zeus in on all that jazz later. Right now I wanted to check out my new home.

***

I ordered my servants to take me on a tour if the Underworld. I saw Elysium and The Fields of Asphodel, but The Fields of Punishment were my favorite. I couldn't believe that I had the power to grant eternal punishment on some damned souls if I wanted to!! It was crazy. I could actually feel the power run through my veins, but I didn't know how to channel it. The most I could do was spark colorful flames and magically make Heinekens appear out of thin air.

As if he could read my thoughts, my servant turned to me and said,
"Don't worry Master Jimmy, in time, you will discover your powers and unlock your full potential."

Then, he walked off, leaving me alone on the bank of the River Styx.
I walked to the gates of The Underworld, the black sand scrunching in between my toes.

There was a boat traveling down The Styx, with my doorman, Charon, at the end paddling deceased souls to their fate.

"BARK BARK BARK!!!" The booming barks shook the ground and sent the souls into a frenzy.

"Hit the deck!!" Someone shouted and dove to the ground.

I laughed, but soon stopped when a huge glob of smelly, sticky liquid doused me.

"Eww!! What the hell!!!!?" I looked up. Above me was a massive, three headed Bull Mastiff.

I squealed and ran. Charon caught me though, and grabbed me by the shoulders.

"Hades!! Such a wonderful surprise seeing you down here!!" he shouted. I was shaking. I had a sense of deja vu, but couldn't put my finger on what it was.

"Go say hi to Fluffy! She's missed you! The old Hades wanted nothing to do with the sweet baby," he said and shoved me towards the massive dog.

I trembled beneath her.

"Uhhh... Hey girl." I stammered and patted her humongous paw. She wagged her tail and then sat down, crushing a few hundred souls beneath her massive hindquarters.
I laughed. She knelt her head down and I patted her wet nose. She licked me, drenching me further.

I spent a few minutes petting her, but was interrupted when something flashed across my vision. Directly across from me, on the other side of the River Styx, were my parents, staring in my direction with a wary look on their faces.

I got nauseous. I ran towards them, but they disappeared before I made it to them.

Charon called to me. "Sir, I'm afraid there's not much you can do. Punishment is given at the Time of Judgment. May I ask who they were?"

"My parents," I answered with a sick feeling in my stomach. "They died in a car accident when I was 17. I've lived on my own since then."

"I'm so sorry, sir," he said before whistling for Fluffy and returning to his duties.

A cold, stony feeling settled in my stomach.

I wanted to go home.

***

I returned to my chamber, showered and changed, and packed a few things.

"I'm leaving!!!" I shouted, not caring if anybody tried to stop me.

"Master!" My servant shouted.

"Before you go I have one thing to warn you of."

"What?"

"You are only allowed to do one thing on your first trip back to the mortal world, and that is to tie things up with your loved ones at home. Your powers will cease when you leave, and will be given back upon your return. Here's your pearl, Master Jimmy," he finished as he gave me my traveling pearl.

"Thanks man," I replied and was soon zooming from the Underworld and back to my small apartment in California.