Cougar

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PRESENT DAY like several hours after where we just left off.
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Ally and I have had sex five times tonight and I’m still not satisfied. This, my friends, is a sign of bad fortune. I swear. Last time I got like this, I slept with Shelby. Two times. In one day. While she and my sister were 'talking.'

They’ve obviously made up since then, but I still feel pretty shitty about it.

Eh. Anyway. If you don’t wanna read about ‘detailed’ sex, skip down to the “|*|” cos guess what. I’m about to get laid some more. This was the ‘whatever’ I wanted earlier - loads of sex. (author: don't worry. stuff gets explained during it, so that's why it's here. not just for my own amusement. well...sort of.)

Ally collapsed down on the bed bedside me. Her hand went over to cover her heart and she stared up at the ceiling, smiling faintly. She was panting hard and laughed out my name when I tried to lay on top of her again, needing more.

“Tyler,” she said against my lips, starting push me off. “I’m tired.”

I pressed myself back down. “One more time.” She pulled back to look at me, putting a hand loosely on the side of my neck. “Just one more.” She bit her lip but tipped her chin up to kiss me in a way that told me ‘okay,’ spreading her legs so I could fall right in between, going inside her for the sixth time.

I groaned when she tightened around me, moaning softly. I started to pump slowly.

She felt so good.

Our breathing quickly grew louder and her head shifted to rest between my neck and shoulder. She lightly bit down on my neck, hands gripping my shoulders.

She moaned again, uttering, “More,” which meant more of everything.

I quickened my pace and thrusted harder. Her legs wrapped around my torso and she groaned quietly. “Faster,” she whispered, her mouth finding that one spot on my neck. Her tongue circled and flicked against my skin. I started to close my eyes letting the wonderful feeling spread all over my body. I moaned a bit, going quicker just like she wanted. I became aware of the bed creaking under us.

I blinked to see she had tipped her head back, her eyes fluttering shut. I took both her hands and pinned them down onto the mattress, pushing her legs open wider. My hand went to grip onto her neck roughly. A whimper fell out of her mouth and she opened her eyes to stare into mine. Her mouth hung open, gasping, and she moaned again.

Hearing her moan was the most satisfying sound, and seeing her naked under me was insane. I remember the first time we got close to having sex: four months into the school year, on her desk during lunch. We finally did it two months later in her room. Nothing about her has changed; she’s just as good now as she was then. She’s feels just right. Perfect.

The intense memory is what eventually brought me over the edge and I abruptly jerked away from her, pulling out. “Oh, fuck. ” Her back arched and she moaned when I came on her stomach. I dropped my head back, squeezing every last drop out onto her, and tried to savour the feeling, but it didn’t last as long as it used to. A haze of gloom darkened my mind seconds after. A feeling I loathed, but couldn’t stop from getting lately. (author: ah, see. herein lies the reason for the obligatory sex scene....man. feels nice to add my commentary into a story.)

Ally got my attention back when she slowly took her index finger and dragged in across her stomach before dipping it into her mouth. She had a small smile that stayed even after she tugged lightly on her bottom lip again. I knew she hadn’t came yet, so after I matched her smile, I bent down, pushing her onto her side, laying behind her. She draped her leg over mine and I pressed inside her again, moving fast.

Her moans came out short and quick with each thrust. I watched her eyes glide shut as she slanted her head back once more, resting next to mine. She inhaled sharply, mouth falling open to let out a shaky moan. She took another sharp intake of breath, clasping her hand under her knee, bringing her leg up.

I could feel her tighten around me and knew she was getting close. I went faster, biting down on her shoulder blade. She quietly moaned, tiling her head to the side, lips clashing eagerly with mine. Her moans grew louder and louder until one finally broke the sound barrier.

Her hand searched desperately for something to grab onto. She snaked it around my neck and into my hair, grabbing a handful. Her hips jerked forward as the loud moan came out. Being overwhelmed by her orgasm, her eyes rolled back before squeezing shut. She circled her hips wildly before gradually slowing them down as she finished.

|*|

She fell back onto the bed with a relaxed sigh. I pulled out of her and she shifted to have her back facing me. I bent my arm under hers and over her hip, bringing her in for a hug.

I love you is what I wanted to say, but it wouldn’t come out. I don’t even know if I feel it completely. It just felt like the right thing to say to her.

I went with a soft kiss of her neck, making her smile. We laid there a little longer in silence until she asked, “Done?” Though I still had the lingering feeling of being discontent, I knew it was destined to stay no matter how many times I tried to satisfy it.

I nodded, sighing out, “For now.”

Our long night finally came to an end minutes later when we both drifted asleep, exhausted.

-

The seven hours of this so-called ‘sleep’ zipped by, leaving me to feel massively tired when I was awoken around five by Ally sitting up. My eyes wouldn’t let me open them so I couldn’t be bothered to. I waited for her to fall back down onto the mattress and then poke me as a way to wake me up, but she didn’t.

Instead she sighed, lying back.

The room went quiet.

The way she sighed made me slowly open my eyes. From the outline of her nose, I knew she was looking up at the ceiling. I shifted slightly to see what she might’ve been staring at and saw nothing. I looked at her as she blinked a few times, continuing to stare up.

Suddenly, she whispered, “Tyler?”

I didn’t answer her right away on account of I was having a small heart attack. Speaking over my startled heartbeat, I said, “Yeah?” She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I waited for her to respond and after a sigh she did.

“Am I…the same?”

“What do you mean?” I asked confused. She gulped before turning her head towards me.

“You know…do I feel different? Am I not good…anymore?”

Oh. I get it now. I reached for her arm, making her slide closer to me. I gave her a quick peck on the nose. “You’re perfect,” I whispered, cupping her chin. “Amazing.” She had smiled faintly when I kissed her nose, but it dropped when I asked, “Why would even you think that?”

She pulled away to avert her eyes from me. She stammered out, “It’s just before it wouldn’t take this much to..." She searched for the right word and chuckled slightly, saying, "...satisfy you. You’re usually good after two times, but…last night…” Her sentence trailed off as she pouted, glancing up at the ceiling again. “And when you were like that last time and the time before, you ditched me for, like, a week...”

Her eyes went to mine.

She asked - somewhat fearfully - “Are you getting tired of me?”

“No, no,” I assured her quickly, though part of me said yes. We’ve been together for five (four?) years; that’s monumental for me. I don’t know if you remember a small detail about me. In case you don’t, let me remind you - certified sex addict since I was fourteen.

I’m really shocked we made it this far, honestly. Yeah, I like her and she’s my friend with benefits, so she’s there when I want sex, but there’s always going to be a want for someone new. Just for a little bit. That explains Shelby and I back in high school and a few random girls throughout the years.

She doesn’t know about any of them.

And the reason I ‘ditch’ her for about a week is, honestly, because of guilt. We’re not dating, but sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on her. I don’t like lying to her, but I didn’t want to upset her. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. But all in all, she shouldn’t be upset over anything. She knows we’re not in a real, committed relationship so I can do whoever I want - as can she, though I don’t think she is.

I decided to fuel her ego.

“You’re just so good, baby. I want you so much.”

“Really?” She still spoke softly and with a little doubt. When I nodded, kissing her gently on the lips, she seemed to relax. Her hand lightly brushed over the raised scar on my face, but what she said didn’t relate to it.

“I was just paranoid,” she muttered before laughing to herself, saying, “I’m such an idiot.”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.”

“Mmhmm.” I leaned down to give her another kiss on the forehead. Her eyes drifted shut and she sighed. She craned her neck to her right, hand fumbling for her phone. She clicked the lock button, wincing when the blinding light stunned us both. The time read 5:47.a.m.

She pushed it under pillow and sighed, looking up at me.

“I should go shower; you came on my stomach, remember?”

“Oh.” I rolled off of her to give her space to get up. “Right.” She laid there a few seconds before grunting as she sat up. She scooted on her naked bum to the foot of the bed, climbing off.

She stopped to pet Baby on the top of her head, making kissy sounds, though she was obviously asleep.

Getting to my closed door, she slowly opened it, sticking her head out its gap. No one left last night. I don’t think so, anyway. I had woken up in the middle of the night and tripped over Ellie’s lifeless body on my way to the kitchen.

The coast must’ve been clear or Ally felt daring as she bolted out the door into the dark hallway. The bathroom light flipped on and I got a few glimpses at her before she shut its door.

I laid in bed for a few minutes until I heard the water turn on.

Not feeling as tired as before, I decided to get up and go out into the kitchen for something to drink. I tried my best to make it through the minefield of sleeping bodies, but wound up stepping on someone’s wrist.

They groaned and just by that I knew it was Shelby.

She grumbled, bringing her hand to her chest, “Dude, what the fuck?” Apparently my response wasn’t that important to her. She rolled back over to wrap an arm around Ellie’s waist. Ellie was too dead asleep to feel Shelby’s hug and snored loudly instead. That made Shelby scoff, slapping her little manicured hand against Ellie’s sleeping head.

Must’ve been numb, too. Ellie didn’t react at all.

I bit back my laugh and tip-toed my way around them, not having to bother with Damien and Michael. They snuggled on the couch.

My bare feet cringed when I stepped onto the freezing cold flooring of my flat’s tiny kitchen. I ended up hopping over to the fridge, obtaining a Propel. It was just as cold so I ran over to set it on the dining room table.

I sat down in one of the four chairs - and guess what. That bitch was like the Arctic Ocean. My boxers did nothing to stop the immense cold, but I was suddenly too tired to care. I cracked open my drink and took a sip.

My back itched slightly and my fingers went to brush against a rough oval shaped wound on my back. It was about the size of my palm. It made me think of the Sahara Desert, dry and cracked.

It wasn’t too bad right now, but I reminded myself to put my eczema lotion on it before I left for work today or I’d wind up crying at some point from how painfully dry it could get.

The sound of the running shower was oddly relaxing and I dropped my head down on the table, closing my eyes. They snapped open when someone cursed. Didn’t have to look up to know it was Shelby.

She has a very…unique voice. Much like a ghetto valley-girl.

She hissed, pulling a chair out to sit down in, “Why is it so fucking cold in this house?” I sluggishly brought my head up to smirk at her.

“Still used to the fiery temperatures of Hell, I see.”

She gave me her middle finger with a big smile. Her face suddenly fell and her eyes grew wide.

“Holy shit!” she said, her smile coming back. I quickly sat up and looked around me.

“What?” I asked, starting to panic. “There’s not a spider or something, is there?” She went to say, ‘Holy shit’ again, but I snapped, “What, Shelby? Don’t fuck with me; what is it?” She started laughing insanely and pointed her finger to me.

“Your neck, that’s what.”

My neck? Oh, god.

My hands flew up to my neck. I felt around for any bumps, hoping if anything it’d be goitre. (Do not look that up.) There was nothing but smooth skin. That only meant hickeys. Not a good thing. Especially since they’re from Ally. She goes all out.

I hopped up from my chair and bolted to the bathroom, not caring that I stepped on Ellie and whacked my hand against Damien’s head when I passed the couch. I ignored their whines and knocked once on the bathroom door.

Ally shouted, “What?”

I pushed my way in and anxiously looked into the mirror, my jaw dropping at my reflection. Big - and I mean big - purple and slightly blue slabs of skin covered most of my neck and some of my chest. There were random specks of clear skin poking out, but not enough.

I have to work today - in front of about two hundred high schoolers - not all at once, obviously. How was I going to cover this up?

I gaped, “Oh, fuck.”

Again, Ally asked, “What?” but didn’t bother to check as Shelby ran into the bathroom. She stood at my side with a huge smile.

“That’s impressive,” she said, putting her hands on my shoulders. She laughed to Ally, “Good work, dear; you’ve doomed him.”

Finally, Ally yanked the drapes back a few inches.

Wiping shampoo out of her eye, she asked, “What do you mean?” She stopped and gawked at me.

“Holy shit,” she said in disbelief. “What happened?”

“You,” I just about snarled, motioning to my neck. “Do see what you did?”

Shelby interjected with, “You look like you’ve been attacked by a cougar.” Ah. Everyone’s favourite joke. I flipped her off and she licked my finger. Not your average reaction, but for her it is.

She went on to laugh again.

“This happened last night, didn’t it? You guys were so loud; the neighbours came over to ask if someone was getting murdered - I’m not kidding. Okay, maybe a little...”

Ally ripped the curtains shut with an “Oh, my God.” Shoving Shelby, I went back to my freak-out, moving my face inches away from the mirror.

“What am I supposed to do about this?”

Shelby was for once heaven-sent. She put that notorious smile on her face and grinned at me. “Got you covered, lover.” I was pushed down by her onto the lid of the toilet seat while Ally grabbed her towel and wrapped it around herself, stepping out of the bath. Shelby had gotten her purse from the living room and took out a weird circular disk type thing.

Either make-up or birth control.

I’m guessing make-up because she popped the lid and rubbed its brush around in circles before grinning at me again. Ally stood at her side and watched her seemingly succeed at covering up all the hickeys.

Ally took a step back. “Huh,” she said, giving Shelby a round of applause. “That went just as expected. You can still see them plain as day, but 'A' for effort.” My eyes widened and I pushed them both away from me, going up to the mirror again.

Okay. Not a good job. As Ally said, they were still amazingly prominent. I wanted to cry. I whipped around and scowled at their smirking faces. I snapped my index finger to my neck.

“I’m going to kill myself.”

“It’s not that bad,” Ally tried to defend Shelby, but her face told me it was. “Take a sick day.”

Are hickeys really worth taking a sickie?

I didn’t even have to think about it. Yes. Yes, they were.

We joined the now awake Ellie, Damien and Michael. I ignored them as they laughed their asses off and walked passed them into the kitchen, going to my contacts on my mobile. I found the school’s, clicking on it.

And here commences my shit lie. I told Sharon - the nice lady at the main office - that I was feeling out of it. Simple as that. I could almost hear her frown as she said, “Oh, that’s terrible. Well, I hope to see you tomorrow, feeling better than ever.”

I laughed out a, “Ditto,” and then a goodbye, hanging up. I stormed off to my room, flipping off everyone in the living room when they laughed.

I fell on my bed - onto Baby - with a frustrated sigh.

Then remembered something.

Oh, crap, shit, no. (Blink 182 song?) I was supposed to get my jacket back from Beck-o today. What if she forgets it now and I never get it back?

God. Today is rubbish.

Ally soon came back into the room to change her clothes after everyone else left. She tried making small-talk with me. Request denied.

“Oh, come on,” she laughed, climbing up next to me on the bed. I turned my back to her, pulling the comforter over my head.

“Bugger off,” was my muffled retort. She laughed again, giving me a quick kiss through the blanket. I felt the bed shift as she got up and the closet door open. The way she was going to pay me back for dooming me like this was simple. I uncovered my head and watched her change from her towel to a pair of denim jeans and a grey ruffly shirt.

Hah. Take that.

Wait. I can do this anytime I want.

Damnit.

Oh well.

I was soon left alone in my flat after the clock struck seven. Ally gave me a quick kiss before leaving me.

Immediately falling to boredom, I sat up and flipped on the TV to SpongeBob. After an hour of that, I was bored again. Daytime telly sucks bum. So I got up and rummaged through our ‘guest’ bedroom - aka the room where all our junk goes to die. There were boxes upon boxes of crap I haven’t thought of in years.

I grabbed one of them and flipped it open to find books. Normal things like the Bible and Stephen King laid side-by-side. I dug through that one a bit, but wasn’t pleased by it. I took a break and went back to my room, masturbated, then sat back down, grabbing another box.

Most of my day is this, just so you know. After each box I went through, if nothing in it peaked my curiosity, I wanked for funsies.

One box, though, did catch my attention. In it laid several folders with stacks of paper in them.

I murmured out, “Well, damn,” when I flipped one of them open and then another. They all contained works I wrote for my Creative Writing class. How convenient.

Hmm. Which one shall I bore you with? One that pertains slightly to what’s going on now maybe? I guess I could finally tell you how I got my scar on my face, ‘cause you gotta learn everything about me at some point. It’s painfully interesting. I cried like a bitch when it happened, so maybe you will by reading it.

Doubt it, but here we go. Also, I didn’t get Baby until I was about eleven or ten. I mention a dog in this narrative. It’s not her. It’s my very first dog, Kraken. She was…crazy strong and protective.

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Tyler Williams
Mrs. Orr
Creative Writing p.6
Thursday, October 15, 2011 (Author: I haven't decided on a set year I wanted his junior year to take place in. so it's subject to change. also, don't read if blood makes you squeamish.)



At the sound of my mother letting out another ear piercing cry, I dug my face into my dog’s neck, making her whimper quietly. I wanted to help her, but I was seven; there was nothing I could do. I stayed in room while they fought in the kitchen, something that has grown to be normal, but still made my heart drop every time.

She yelled something at him again and I could hear his punch land on the side of her face. She fell quiet while he took over, shouting incoherently.

From beside me, a low growl came from my dog, Kraken. The protective side of her was starting to overtake her as she stood up on all fours. Another low growl resonated in the pit of her throat. I hooked a finger under her collar, telling her to stay, but she didn’t listen.

She suddenly tore away from me, barrelling off my bed and out my open door.

I could feel my stomach plummet to the ground and I hopped up from my bed, chasing after her. Her legs took her faster and she made it into the kitchen first. I stepped foot into the living just in time to see the pit bull get kicked square in the stomach. She yelped, falling back.

A knot formed in my throat and I made a dash for her, kneeling down to pet her as she whimpered. Normally she was a very resilient dog, but when he abused her, she wouldn’t stand a chance. My head shot up in shock when there was a loud bang against the wall. My father stood in the walkway of the kitchen and the living room, feet away from me. His pocket knife in his grip.

I looked passed him to see my mum, crouching on the ground between where two counters met. Her head was in her hands. I saw her shoulders quiver as she let out a loud, shaky cry. I noticed her knuckles were slightly red and scrapped just like her arms. Where there weren’t bruises there were cuts and burns she put on herself. Even at seven, I knew what she was doing. I understood why she would do that to herself. I wasn’t an idiot.

I frowned at the proof of how unhappy she really was and how there was truly nothing I could do.

My father’s voice boomed into my ears.

“Why you lookin’ so sad, boy?

My mouth trembled to answer him or at least attempt to smile, but my mum had looked up when he said ‘boy.’ Her red, bloodshot eyes averted to me and she frowned. Not getting an answer from me, he took a few steps forward, flicking out the blade of his pocket knife. I flinched back.

“You never smile,” he said, pointing it at me. “After all I’ve done for you…”

“Leave him alone.” We both stared disbelievingly at my mum. She whispered tearfully, “Just leave him alone.”

His fist hit the wall, making my mum and I jump. She cowered back when he turned towards her, directing the blade at her. “You shut your mouth or I’ll kill you both.” Her head fell into her hands again and she didn’t say anything back at first.

Then her voice cracked when she whispered, “Just stop…”

I looked to my father. His eyes were narrowed at her then suddenly they flashed to me. His hand sprang forward to grip my shoulder. He clasped down roughly and tugged me up in front of him. He hooked an arm around my throat, pulling me straight up off the ground. My legs swung violently, feet longing to touch the ground. My foot knocked against his leg and he grasped a hand over my chin. My hands went up to pry his hands away, but that made him tighten his hold.

I could feel the air in my throat get cut off momentarily and I gasped.

My mum’s head came back up and her shoulders shook when she held back another cry.

“Let him go.” She tried to sound strong, but her voice cracked again. She was too scared to get up and stop him. The darkening bruise on the side of her face was what held her back. His grip tightened even more and I choked. He took the opportunity of my mouth began open to stick the blade of his pocketknife to the edge of my mouth.

It was cold and tasted like rust. This wasn’t a sharp, clean blade. Dull blades make the nastiest wounds.

I held back a cry.

My mum cried out again for him to stop. He smirked at her before jerking me down. I could feel the blade pull my skin back, but not enough to cut. I still grunted, knowing what he was planning on doing.

Then…he did it.

He pushed his forearm hard against my throat and, in the split second I yelped in pain, he ripped the blade back. A huge jolt of pain made me lose my sight for a few seconds. I felt it tear through my skin; the insane burning sensation was overwhelming making me cry out again, this time for my mum.

A mixture of cool blood and tears filled my mouth and dripped down my chin. He ripped the blade back again when I screamed and then one more time. I don’t know what was louder: my mum as she wailed at him, me screaming in absolute agony, my dog barking and snarling at him or the sound of my flesh tearing against the dull blade. Everything was so loud and earsplitting.

My dog ran to bite at him only to get kicked again - harder this time. She hit the corner of the wall and fell lifelessly to the ground. The amount of times he’s hit her and kicked made her weaker than she should ever be. I didn’t know it then, but that killed her.

She literally fell lifelessly to the ground.

The blade was finally yanked from my mouth and I dropped it closed. The two now separate flaps of skin collided with each other and another shock of pain rang through me. I cried again, slowly opening my mouth, though my jaw was in immense pain. I could feel my heart beating through it.

I stupidly thought it was over, but he quickly let go of me long enough so he could have his hand be the thing gripping my neck. His fingers spread and he placed the blade at an angle against my throat.

I actually hoped he was going to kill me.

Instead he pushed down hard enough to break the skin. He yanked the blade back again. Pain was the only thing my mind was letting me comprehend. A wave of something cold cascaded down my neck and onto my chest.

Blood.

He loosened his grip and I fell to the ground. I couldn’t move and didn’t even bother to. Sound had gone away some time ago to me and was slowly coming back. My ears tensed at the sound of screaming. My mum was crawling towards me, sobbing wildly. I think what scared me the most was that I was gradually losing the ability to feel the pain anymore. My jaw still shook and quivered, but I was numb as to why.

My mum had leaned down to drop her head onto my shoulder. I didn’t realise she had picked me up to hold me. Her hand was clasped around my neck to try and stop the bleeding. We both knew that was useless.

She was sobbing right into my ear. I recall being annoyed by how loud she was.

My eyes sluggishly slid to see the door to the garage close behind my father as he left the house.

Just like that. He didn’t even care about what he just did.

I tried to tell my mum I was alright, that we’d be alright, but the blood gurgled in my throat, hindering me. I coughed and sent a pocket of blood out of my mouth.

That was the last thing I remember before I blacked out, waking up in the Emergency Room hours later.

-

So there you have it. I'm the Joker.

:P

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, I titled my head back to get a look at my neck. There was no longer a scar anymore. It had gone away years ago unlike the one on my face.

I grimaced at my reflection.

That stupid, stupid scar.

What’s worse is when people ask about it. Normally, people can grasp that it wasn’t a pleasant experience getting it and they know not to ask, but then there’s a few who don’t care and ask loudly in the middle of class.

One of those people was a girl I was ‘friends’ with back when I lived in Oregon. She would notice everything mildly embarrassing about me - mostly any of my scars - and would blatantly ask me in front of heaps of people.

God. I fucking hated her.

But…that’s for another time, another chapter. But most likely, I will forget I said anything about it and won't bring it up ever again.

Well…depends…was this a long chapter?

Yeah. I think it was. You got a lot of information in the chapter, I think, so goodbye.