Arms

She wouldn’t have given him a chance. That is what Ha’ri had told her when she asked why he lied to her about his friend being in the education field. He calmly said that with her sour attitude towards Hollywood and actors she would have never had an open mind about Matt if he spoke the truth.

In all honesty, it didn’t matter. They took separate cars as Belen softly exhaled that she is going to spend the night at her home when Ha’ri shyly asked if she would spend the night. It was too soon and it didn’t matter what condition it left their relationship in, she still felt like they were strangers more than anything.

Mainly she stayed in the relationship because of her beliefs. Belen kept telling herself that even though she is having relations with other men in the process. She’s more than a hypocrite, but either her or Ha’ri had made the move of filing divorce.

“I can’t believe that fucking happened!” Andy exclaimed dramatically, her hands rapidly signing when Belen finished her story. Simply signing, ‘I know.’ Belen stayed somber reliving the whole scene within her mind, more than anything she felt horrible for Matt. Forget Ha’ri for one moment, she disregarded Matt’s feelings when she jumped into being friendly with him.

“I’m sorry that happened, but you deserved it. Not that I don’t love you. I totally feel for Matt right now and what about Ha’ri? Didn’t you mend that relationship recently?”

Belen pursed her lips, “Sort of. It’s complicated…I really don’t know what we are doing, Ha’ri and me. We just naturally feel into routine again.”

“Is it because you feel guilty?” That is the main question, did she feel guilty? Leaving him in such a tender and traumatic moment in their lives; the moment she walked away knowing it is never going to work out after being with him for so many years?

She didn’t know, Belen didn’t want to sound heartless and say that she isn’t supportive and there for Ha’ri. Being there though, gave him hope, something that she never intended giving him. It’s all very confusing.

“Matt’s not answering my text.” She complained, stuffing her face in a pillow to wallow in her misery.

Beside herself, there is a glimmer of hope that Matt will show a kindness of heart and answer her text. She can care less if he told her off as long as he held a conversation with her; it has been killing her for the past several days that she had no response.

Andy didn’t help much explaining how deeply hurt Matt must have felt and to be quote on quote dating his friend’s wife is icing on the cake. “He probably wants to put serious boundaries on your friendship or what is left of it after your deception.” Belen glared at the oblivious woman as she continued to sign what Matt must be feeling.

The one person she thought would be giving her comfort or reassurance is the person that is giving her the most shit right now. Groaning, Belen tossed her phone across the living room wishing that he will magically text her.

So for the next week she has been completely immersed in her life without Matt and to be honest it felt off. Belen did live without him those months they were apart after that faithful night, but that was before she got to know him as a person. The wonderful, sweet, quirky, spazzy that has brought comfort to her soul in so many ways.

He is the best person to be around when involving stressful times such as these. Juggling work, school, and her estranged husband; she detached herself from the world.

This is her last year of school before getting her final degree and her accomplishment will be recognized. Belen had to focus on that than being hurt every time Matt shot down an invitation from Ha’ri. Her husband has reached out to Matt trying to involve him in some of their activities since he didn’t have many friends here in Los Angeles.

Belen tried to be discreet and had a façade of worry that Matt might alone most of the time. Ha’ri on the other hand laughed it off stating that Matt is the most social person in the world and probably made friends with everyone in the Los Angeles area.

She couldn’t agree more until Ha’ri provided another stake in her heart when he pondered openly why the actor doesn’t like her. Matt hung out with Ha’ri plenty of times after that night, but when he spoke of her name he shut down.

“Did you say anything to him that night? Offend him in any way?” Ha’ri accusingly looked at her, sort of knowing how she can be when in tense situations.

Keeping more information from Ha’ri she shook her head as he shook his head in dismissal. Months seem to fly by as her graduation date seems to be getting closer. With final exams will soon be out of the way the diploma will be in her grasp. Attention seems to passing her way as her being one of the youngest to receive a PhD no less deaf.

That comment stung, but she kept a brave face and soldiered on.

Taking time off her final presentation on her paper she went shopping for Ha’ri because his lack of substantial food made her cringe. Take out and frozen meals were horrible and after scolding him, he pouted asking if she could shop for him.

Giving her his card, he scooted her out the door as she rolled her eyes at the gesture. It reminded her of when they were happily married and he manipulated the situation into his favor. Not that she hasn’t done it either.

Pushing the shopping cart down the aisles, she stacked meat, fruits, vegetables and the main necessities before standing in the dairy section wondering if it was a good idea. As she wondered, her head instinctively turned to the side letting her eyes wander. Belen thoughtlessly set her eyes back on the cheese before getting a double take on what she has seen.

Is that…Matt?

Standing there in a stupor, her heart started to beat thunderously in her chest. What should she say? It’s been almost five months since she has last seen him. He looked different than when she had seen him; his hair has obviously grown out a few inches, scruff on his face and his clothes…

She never understood his style.

Wearing a white jumper wrapped around his waist with a grey shirt that is way too big for his frame, it easily swallowed his body and white cargo shorts. What brought a smile to her face was his sometimes needless thing for no socks with his converse.

Wondering how she should approach him, a tightening in her chest continued as he walked further down the aisle minding his own business. Belen glanced at the aisle to see it is filled with candy and sweets. Her smile gotten wider, he still hasn’t changed and why should he? For a minute she thought he would have drastically changed because of what she has done.

The fear of her cruelty didn’t do a number on him like she thought it did. Tightening her hold on the bar of the cart, she spun it around and headed into the sweets section before she changed her mind. Hastily strolling down her feet stopped at the edge of the aisle, hesitating to wander in and casually bump into him.

Pink flushed her cheeks at the thought of her clumsy self-slamming into him while in her thoughts. She would profusely apologize trying to help him up and look into those green eyes that would send her to cardiac arrest—

Why is her chest tightening? Is it because she absentmindingly been staring at this unusual shade of green for what felt like hours?

Then it all came crumbling down, spinning frantically around she saw that she indeed walk into the aisle, rammed into Matt and did those things she imagined. Her mouth stayed opened as she is in near tears of what just happened.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm yourself, there. No need to get hysterical.” Matt awkwardly responded to her erratic signing. If he didn’t cause attention now, Belen is surely is. Grabbing her hands, her face flushed even further as a small whimper left her lips. Tears glistened her eyes as she innocently gazed up at him wondering what he is doing.

“You’re making quite a scene, love.”

He watched as her lips slightly opened as if she were to talk only to fall short with a disgruntled sound coming out instead. Her hands slipped from his as she apologized with a small fist to her chest in a circular motion.

“It’s okay.”

Belen’s eyes darted around moving anywhere, but him making this all the more weird. He tried to think of numerous of ways to weasel his way out of this situation without looking like a dick. There were still a few people glancing there way and if he just left well that would cause some buzz somewhere.

Waving his hand around to grab her attention, she finally looked at him at a complete loss. Typing something on her phone his chest tightened watching her cutely lift her phone for him to read.

“I see you are practicing your sign language…you’re getting good.”

Despite his effort to distance himself from her, he smiled while he signed thanks. Avoiding her for months has been eating away at him; at first he was beyond furious with her for her betrayal, but as the days gone by he started to miss her.

Pushing aside his feelings, he enjoyed her company and by far one of the nicest people he has met even though she kept things from him. He’s assuming the marriage isn’t going well due to the fact she had no wedding band on now or even then. Maybe she’s going through a rough patch? Ha’ri seemed happy when they were out together when he was ‘introduced’ to Belen.

Looks can be deceiving though.

She typed away he felt his resolve crumbling before his eyes. “I know this must seem absurd what I am about to ask and you have the right to say no and you probably hate me. I just…think it would be nice to show Ha’ri that we can get along and I know he is going to ask you to go to my graduation party.”

He wouldn’t say he hated her far from it. She hurt him and lied to him in the most shocking way with the turn of events that transpired. Still he didn’t correct her as she nibbled on her lip. Matt noticed the floral dress she wore decorated with sunflowers, her favorite flower he might add, black studded heels that brought her almost to eye level with him and a black floppy sunhat.

Fingers twitched at the urge of cradling her in his arms as he would have whenever he thought she looked adorable. More often than not and holding a grudge was never his strong suit.

“I’ll take it to consideration.” He almost winced at his tone as she nodded her head in understanding.

Waving at him she walked around him continuing on her path towards the checkout leaving him wondering what he should do next.

Belen’s heart continued to pound in her chest as she tossed the items on the conveyer belt and quickly swiped the card. Gathering the bags, she almost tumbled out of the market as she swiftly dashed out of the lot and towards the home of her husband.