Memories

Willow flitted around her room, excitedly. She put the finishing touches on her make-up, hair, and pulled on her boots. She looked around to see her friend and roommate, Jackie, wasn’t even dressed yet as she sat on the floor wrapped in a towel in front of the mirror. Her make-up brush was in her hand and she was applying some eyeshadow.

“I’m heading up to the roof,” Willow said, snatching up her camera before practically skipping out of the room.

She opened the third door in the hallway before climbing the steps to the roof. She was greeted by the warm air of the fading sunlight. Lifting her camera from its free-hanging home around her neck, she pressed her eye to the viewfinder and snapped a few shots of the city in the distance.

The only thing she’d wanted for her birthday was to see him, and with the mysterious knock on her door that morning, she’d found two tickets to the show that night, making her wish come true. She’d spent hours fretting over what to wear, how she looked, what he would look like and if he would be just as happy to see her as she was to see him.

They had agreed before he’d gone on tour that they weren’t going to get into a relationship because they knew the distance would be a strain on both of them. Willow was tired of that, however. He’d been gone over a year, tonight being their last show, and she was finally going to tell him how she truly felt; she was completely in love with him and wanted to be with him no matter what.

Her phone chirped in her purse and she pulled it out, letting her camera dangle at her stomach.

“Can’t wait to see you” the text read.

Smiling, she sat down on the cement wall and contemplated what she was going to reply when it chirped again.

“Got passes for you & Jack after the show. Go find the bouncer to the side of the stage & he’ll have em for you”

She smiled before she typed out her reply.

“I’ve missed you a whole lot, Zacky. Can’t wait to see you either!”

“I’m staying with you, right?”

Willow frowned as she read his text. She couldn’t help but think of the last time he’d asked if he was staying with her. He’d had a show that night, too. When she went to where she was supposed to meet him, she found him gone. After calling and texting him all night, she finally went home to wait for him. She stayed on the roof, her favorite spot in the whole apartment, until the sun had been up for several hours. Even then, she still hadn’t heard from him.

“Jackie’s spending the night with Derek.”

She sighed and lit a cigarette as she waited for his reply.

“Sweet. I’ve missed you more than you can imagine.”

She smiled faintly at her phone and slipped it back into her purse to finish her cigarette.

By the time she was stubbing it out, Jackie appeared in the doorway.

“Ready?”

“Hell yes,” Willow replied, brushing her chocolate hair out of her face.

They filed into the door, down the stairs and through the apartment. With one last check of their things, they headed out.

Stopping for a quick bite to eat, they made it to the venue in record time. The doors weren’t open yet, and they moved to stand in the line that was growing longer.

Soon enough, the doors opened and they filed inside, getting as close to the stage as possible. Willow grabbed Jackie’s hand and led her to the middle-left side of the stage where she knew he’d be most of the show.

The lights went out and a roar erupted from the crowd, making Willow smile. She was so proud of her boys, but especially him. “Sevenfold!” was chanted throughout the crowd and her heartbeat sped up a bit, waiting to see him. She screamed along with the crowd as she was being pressed up against the boundary by the people behind her. She didn’t mind one bit. A flame shot up from either side of the stage and the sounds of “Critical Acclaim” filled the stadium, making the crowd even more raucous.

He was facing the back of the stage, away from her but her eyes were glued to him. Quickly, she lifted the camera to her eye. His crisp white shirt and black pants were easily recognizable. Brian started his intro up on the box set out for him and then Zacky whirled around, his black and gold guitar slung around his neck to accompany Brian. Matt’s scream filled the air and the guys went nuts, jumping and spinning. It was easily one of the best moments of her life.

Halfway through the show, she was sure Zacky had seen her, because he kept pointing to the same area where she was. The smile on her face seemed to grow wider, if possible, and he smile on stage. She knew then he’d definitely spotted her. Even behind his sunglasses, she could feel the intensity of his gaze. She lifted her camera to her face and snapped a few more pictures.

She and Jackie almost left their spot after the last song, but then something came on the television screens on either side of the stage and they paused, watching. A video of the guys came on, and one of the Berry twins came out to say the fans wanted an encore. The crowd went nuts and soon the guys were back out. Willow screamed the loudest when Zacky came out in the red coat she’d bought him the previous year for his birthday. They played “A Little Piece of Heaven” as their encore and she sang along with every word.

Fighting through the crowd was a disaster and she it ended up taking them almost thirty minutes to get through to the body guard at the side of the stage. She explained to him about the passes and he told her to wait, using his microphone system attached to himself to see if what she’d said was true. After he’d gotten the confirmation, he moved them to a door and it was opened by another security guard holding the passes. He led them down a few halls and pointed them to the door where the band would be.

Barely able to contain her excitement and Jackie forgotten momentarily, she pushed the door open only to find it empty. Frowning, she looked around but didn’t see anyone. She walked out of the room and practically ran into Jason Berry.

“Hey, Will!” he said, hugging her.

“Where are the guys?” she asked, hooking a thumb over her shoulder.

“They didn’t tell you?” he asked.

“No,” she said, frowning. “Tell me what?”

“They left a few minutes ago to go to some club. Some promotion or some shit.”

Thoroughly confused, she pulled out her cell phone and checked it. She didn’t have any messages or missed calls. She immediately dialed Zacky’s number. It rang several times before going to voicemail.

“I’m sorry,” he said, frowning. Leaning in, he hugged her again. “Happy birthday, Will.”

“Thanks, Jason,” she said, lifting one side of her mouth into a weak smile. “Tell Mattie I said hey.”

She turned around and walked back towards the exit, Jackie jogging to catch up.

“Maybe he had to, and he hasn’t time to call you, yet,” she contemplated.

“’Fool me once’,” Willow said, shrugging.

As they pushed their way out into the city, she was reminded of her graduation from Southern Cal. He’d talked it up all week, saying how proud he was of her and how excited he was to see her walk, and when the day came…he never showed. It was only hours later, when she was sitting on the roof, did he show up, a cupcake in hand. He’d claimed he had another band thing and she’d forgiven him.

At first, she brushed it off, knowing his first priority was his band. She knew that from the beginning, but missing one thing after another after another became almost too much for her. He’d forget lunch dates or trips to the beach or shopping times when he’d asked her to help him shop for his mom or sister. He’d beg for her forgiveness and when she finally caved, he’d explain how much she meant to him and how much he loved her.

They walked quietly down the street towards the garage where they’d parked their car.

“What if we go get a drink? I still owe you one and we can still salvage your birthday!”

“Yeah, that sounds amazing, actually,” Willow said, smiling at her best friend.

A scream brought their heads quickly around in time to see a limo driving past them. The windows were down in the back and screaming could be heard from inside, but it was the person coming through the sun roof that made Willow stop in her tracks.

Zacky was pushed through the top, his shirt off, sunglasses on and he was screaming at the top of his lungs. The smile slowly faded from Willow’s face as a look of recognition dawned on her.

He stopped in mid-scream, seeing the two girls walking on the sidewalk. He recognized Willow’s face as she turned towards him. All of his excitement left his body in a single instant. He saw the look of hurt and betrayal flash over her features before she turned away from him, tears glistening in her eyes.

Zacky ducked into the sunroof, screaming for the driver to stop the car. The rest of his group paused in their partying to look at him, stunned. He seemed so angry as he quickly gathered his things and got out of the car as soon as it had come to a stop.

Willow and Jackie were just about to pass the car when Zacky emerged. He straightened himself up and ran after them.

“Willow!”

She ignored him as the tears came rushing down. Jackie linked her arm in Willow’s and pulled her close. They kept walking as Zacky kept yelling after them. He grabbed her arm as he caught up with her and she jerked it away.

“Willow, stop.”

“NO!” she screamed, whirling away from him.

Jackie moved back as her arm was ripped from Willow’s arm. She looked between her best friend and the guy she’d been in loved with for years. She looked broken. Jackie’s eyes found the limo that was in the middle of the street, several heads stuck out of the small window watching the scene.

“Willow, please let me explain.”

“Explain what, Zacky? That you fucked up, again? That you let me down, again? That you ‘just forgot’ or ‘were busy’ again? I’m done, Zacky. I’m done waiting for you, time after time, while you’re out doing who knows what with God knows who. I’m done waiting for you to grow the balls to ask me out and I’m done waiting for you to love me the way I love you. I’m so fucking done, Zacky.”

“No, Willow, please… I’m sorry!” he cried, his face showing how upset he was.

Willow’s face showed it more. She laughed, a humorless, hollow sound and blinked a few times, fighting back the tears.

“You’re always sorry, Zacky. You always promise you’re going to make it up to me. You always say you’re going to fix it yet you never have. I think I can overlook other times, but this is my birthday, for God’s sake!”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILL!” Johnny cried from the limousine but everyone ignored him.

An “ow” followed, signaling someone had hit him. Willow didn’t even glance his way as she looked at Zacky. His shocked face was more than she could stand. He hadn’t said a word; hell, he didn’t know what to say to her. She was so angry, but as he thought about it, he realized it was justified.

“Will…I…You’re right,” he said, his shoulders slumping forward.

She saw the look of defeat on his face and knew she’d won. But won what and at what price? After her complete meltdown and rage against Zacky, she felt completely drained and tired.

“Just leave me alone, Zacky,” she said, wearily.

Swiping at a tear, she turned away from him for good.

Jackie stood, her mouth open, looking after Willow. She was completely torn between following her best friend and making her turn around and fix the situation. She had been there the whole time, watching as Zacky and Willow did their weird little dance around each other, neither of them confessing to each other that they were in love with the other, but always loving each other. She’d comforted Willow for so long after each time Zacky had broken his promise, never speaking a word ill of him or hating him for what he was doing to her. Finally, seeing her friend so broken, her anger spilled over.

“I defended you,” she started, angrily. She advanced on him until he was backed up and off the sidewalk. “I defended you for so long! I never said a word as I watched you rip her heart out with every single ‘I promise’ and ‘I’ll be there’ and ‘I miss you’! I always thought you’d come around but you never fixed it! You kept fucking up!”

“People change, Jackie!”

“People do change, Zacky,” Willow said, coming up behind Jackie. “Obviously, you haven't.”

She’d heard the whole conversation Jackie had with Zacky. She was upset because Jackie was so upset about it, making the entire situation worse.

“Don’t call me anymore,” Willow said before turning to pull Jackie with her.

Zacky watched them walk away as they rounded the corner and out of sight. He stood there a few more seconds before turning back to the limousine. He didn’t feel like partying anymore. Sliding into the backseat, there was a silence as someone had shut the music off.

“Maybe you should…” Brian started.

“Don’t.”

“Okay,” he whispered.