Death's Daughter

I kept walking, knowing the road ahead of me better than I knew myself. I could walk it with my eyes closed, which came in handy at times like this, when the darkness surrounded me like a suffocating cloak and it didn’t matter if my eyes were open or closed, all I could see of my surroundings was, well…. Nothing. A color darker than pitch and coupled with the sounds of the dead.

“She’s broken, there is no coming back for her.”

The words sliced through the emptiness with a resounding echo.

“I know,” It came out of my mouth but it almost didn’t sound like me, more confident and calm than I would ever be.

“Then why did you come if not to beg for your love?”

“To tell her I love her. She has forgotten. Will you grant me permission, Madam Death? I know you know how it feels; to struggle to remember what love is, to wonder if it was fear that made him hold you close. To wander through endless hallways of broken promises and regrets that Death made you break, that Death caused you to never be able to repair. Madam Death, I promise not to plead for her release. Madam Death, I just to see her, hold her, kiss her, one last time. I would love a million more times, an infinite number more times, but I will take what you give me. Please, Madam Death.”

“I cannot. You know I cannot.“ This time there was a hint of emotion in the voice that seemed to have no body, to come from everywhere. Sadness. Or maybe anger.

“Then let her know I love her, let her know I wish I could hold her all night long.” There was so much more I wanted to say, all the words I was never given the chance to, all the ones I was afraid to. “Madam Death, take me to her please! Let her keep me for all eternity!” I was almost choked on the tears I hadn’t known I was shedding. “Madam Death- Gee- I will stand here until I wither away to nothing, death on my own terms. The fastest way to see her. But then it will only be a second as she watches me pass through judgment and is unable to be as good, as kind, as strong as her. Will she want me then, Madam? Will she take me then?”

“Frankie, my Frankie, you know I cannot take you before it is your time.”

“I am not asking for death, I am asking you to make me yours, Gee, please. I know you can.” I was barely audible.

“Frankie, I wouldn’t.” Even though she says it, softly and with feeling, the darkness starts to lift and the face and body I knew so well came back into bright clarity.

Her short, dyed red hair still covers her right eye, still in the black skinnies and band tees that she wears in my dreams. And in new combat boots.
“The shoes are new.” And just like when we were both alive she blushed at the slightest comment from me on her appearance.

“Daddy got them for me,” She opened her mouth once again, probably to tell me the store or the story but, she shuts it again with an audible ‘snap’. “Frankie, go back to the Overworld.” It was an order and my body begs to obey. Both because of the order from Death herself, and because the girl who I will love forever asked me to do something.

Something so easy, go back to the Overworld and live out your life there, have a family with another woman, have all the dogs she would let you have, watch as your daughter or son grew up. Leave this place of Death and forget the girl you think you love.

The thought of being with anyone other than Genivere hurt on a physical level and felt like a punch to the gut, breaking down the illusion she had built in my mind’s eye.

“But I love you, Gee, please. Just make me yours.” Brushing my hair out of my eyes with one, I lifted the other towards her. “Ger-bear, why?”

“The pain, Frankie! It hurts, Frank. What if you decide you don’t want to be mine anymore, the only way out would be death, but for what? You sold your soul to DEATH! And what if I stop loving you? And you are stuck forever loving me when my heart no longer belongs to you? Frank, why would I do that to you?”

“Because you can see 100 years into the future, Gee. You tell me, tell me what you see. Are we still together? Am I yours? Did you let me go, live your life alone? Because that is what I would end up doing if I don’t find myself on the end of my own knife.”

“Frankie, don’t say stuff like that.”

“I’m sorry, I know, I am sorry. But, Gee. I… I don’t want to live without you. I just….. It was hard enough getting through the first two months after your death, now that I found a way to be with you, I doubt I can last two months up there. I would rather I spend my time down here, as a ghost. At least then I could just forget and float, you know? But, tell me, what do you see?”

“You… are… with me.”

“Then shouldn’t that answer your question?”

“I can only see 100 years into the future, if I do this it will mean forever, Frank. Forever.”

“I will take those odds.”

“I don’t know if I can do it to you, Frank.”

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Kiss me, Gee.” Her hazel eyes met mine before she rolled them and came to stand in front of me.

“I am Madam Death, Frank. I have stuff to do, you know.” We both had dries tears on our cheeks and eyes puffy from crying, the words were mostly for herself, because they weren’t fooling me.

“Just kiss-” And she had attached her lips on mine, very effectively shutting me up. It was everything that I hadn’t had for over half a year. All the breaths I couldn’t take in, all the blue skies I couldn’t see through my tears, all the puppies I wasn’t able to pick up off the side of the road. She was everything. And I didn’t want anything else.

And for that minute after, I was able to hold her in my arms as if we weren’t in the afterlife and talking. Like we were in my backyard tree-house, alone and feeling like we were five again.

“Goodbye, Genivere.”

“What? NO!” Her arms wrapped tighter than before and I couldn’t walk as her leg moved to wrap around me, joining her other limbs in a kind off cage.

“But there is no other way." I felt horrible, knowing exactly how I was playing with her feelings.

"Then I will do it! I will do it! Just don't leave me here! Not again!"

"Gee, baby, don't do something you don't want to. I won't kill myself, okay? But, I doubt I will love anyone as much as I love you."

No, I am going to do it. Right now." And she let go of me, took a small step back, tilted my neck up and bit.

Blood hit the ground, the moans of the dead surrounded us, but at least I was hers forever.