Meet Me by the River's Edge

Can’t stay at home, can’t stay at school
Old folks say, ya poor little fool
Down the street I’m the girl next door
I’m the fox you’ve been waiting for

Hello Daddy, hello Mom
I’m your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bomb
Hello world I’m your wild girl
I’m your ch ch ch ch ch cherry bomb

20 questions or : the only game that can go from ‘what’s your favorite color’ to ‘have you ever given a blowjob upside down’ in two seconds.
The answer ?

Black, because I refuse to believe that it’s NOT a color & Yes, it was really uncomfortable.

But 20 questions was what Jack wanted to play, and like every 8 year old kid, Jack got his wish in the end. Jack, in fact, wasn’t an 8 year old kid … but being fully clothed the difference was almost non-existent.

I munched away happily on my delicious cream cheese rangoons as Jack started the game.

" Okay….what’s your favorite color ? “

See ? Told you so.

" Black, now if you say that’s not a color, fuck you, to me it is. Other than that probably dark red “

I think I might’ve scared him a little with my sudden outburst regarding the question whether black was a color or not, but whatever.

“ Alright black it is. Your turn ” and just like that the smirk had found it’s way back to his face.

" What do you do for a living ? “

That was something I wanted to ask him ever since we met. I couldn’t really picture him doing any serious job. Maybe something with kids, but then again, he had a mind far too sexual and cursed too much to be around kids on a daily basis. Their parents would be pissed if little Timmy started to loudly talk about dicks and boners.

“ I’m in a band, All time low. I play guitar “

Okay now that explains his skilled fingers.

" Hmm, figures. Are you like…I mean I feel bad asking this but are you…famous ? “

It felt weird asking this, I mean if he was then I didn’t know him which was awkward and if he wasn’t then saying ‘No’ was awkward for him. Good job Billie.

But Jack, once again, only laughed his wonderful, dorky laugh and munched away on his spring rolls.

" If you’re a rebellious teenager that’s into fun pop-punk music, then yeah you’d probably consider us famous. Other people, including myself would probably not say so “

" Are you any good ? “

" Pretty good “

And I believed his every word. If Jack said they were good, then they were. I didn’t know this guy too long but I was fairly certain that if they were bad he would say so. He would proudly stand for his failure and love every second of it. But apparently they did good, so I definitely trusted him in that situation.

" You just had 3 questions in a row Billie ” Jack chuckled while he reminded me that we were still playing that stupid high school game. I mean 20 questions, really ? What does one do when the 20 questions have been asked ? Get up and leave ?

" Alright alright, your turn then “

Now here come the sexual questions,

in 3 … 2 … 1 …

" Who is Mattie ? “

Oh.

This, I had not expected to be asked. Why would he want to know ?

Because you just got her stuff you dumbass. He heard your parents talk and he heard YOU talk.

" She was my sister ” My words were much more quite, they hardly left my lips.

'Was' past tense. I hated that. Mattie would forever be my sister. But people tend to get confused when you talk about your dead sister is present tense. So eventually you start adjusting your words to their expectations.

“ Was ? “

" She died. Cancer “

And that was the moment people always started to change. Their behavior was different towards me, they all felt like walking on eggshells when they were around me. Yes my sister is dead and yes I suffered a lot but please don’t treat me like a fucking child.

From the moment those words left my lips I was always ’ the girl with the dead sister’

“ I’m sorry. The big C is a fucking asshole ” Jack said granting me a sympathetic smile.

I think those were the best words of sympathy I’d ever heard. He didn’t go all ’ Oh I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do ? ’ Or ’ You’re so strong to cope with such a big loss “

Those words always came from people who didn’t give a shit about my feelings anyway. I knew it was common courtesy for them to tell me they’d be here for me, when in reality they couldn’t care less. As for me being strong, No, I was weak. I completely freaked and hid behind a reckless, self-destructive attitude to shelter my heart from falling apart, even more than it already did. I was everything but strong.

" Is that why you cried earlier ? ” Jack asked carefully, his eyes trained on mine, and they were holding a certain feeling of comfort and warmth. For some reason I felt that I could tell Jack anything and he would understand and hold me so I wouldn’t fall apart. But who am I kidding, no one would ever fully understand and I could very well hold myself together all by myself. I did that for years.

Suddenly Mattie’s words ran through my mind. She wanted me to accept help when offered. And although Jack didn’t specifically offer me his help I think this was his subtle way of telling me that opening up, just a little, was okay.

“ It’s part of the reason. I miss Mattie every second of every day. But I … I adjusted. I just feel ashamed for my parents, they act like she never existed. And then there’s this “

Hesitantly I grabbed the letter from my bag, along with the notebook and handed them to Jack.

Carefully he took them from me opening the letter first. I could see his face grimace in sympathy and I think to a certain extend he could feel my hurt as his eyes scanned the words of farewell my sister left me with.

" Your sister is awesome “

He said ‘is’ not ‘was’ and that made my insides twist and turn. In the best way possible. It’s like we shared the idea that, wherever she was now, she was still as awesome as she was here. I was not one to believe in heaven and hell, or the story that after we…die, we get judged in front of some golden gates. If I would’ve believed in that then I was sure I would definitely end up in hell. Still I didn’t like the concept of eternal darkness and well … nothing, after death either. I just knew that wherever we end up after we leave this life, Mattie would continue to shake up the place and rock it.

" She is, thank you “

“ For what ? ” He looked at me curiously and confused at the same time. And again he reminded me of a clumsy, cuddly dog.

" For not showering me with your hypocritical pity, like everyone else does when they hear about Mattie “

Understandingly he nodded his head and his messy bi-color hair swished at the movement

“ I figured that pity doesn’t get you very far now, does it ? “

This time it was me to nod, because he just said what I tried to tell people all the time. Though no one seemed to really get it.

I could feel Jack’s eyes on me though as I lifted my eyes he quickly averted his gaze back to the writing in his hands. He opened the notebook that held, Mattie’s … or now rather my, bucket list.

He wasn’t focused on that though, I knew and as he cleared his throat I was sure there was more that he wanted to say.

" Just know that if you ever need help, you can count on me “

I was about to deny him, tell him that I would be okay on my own. But he wouldn’t let me and all I got out before he decided to interrupt me and change the topic was a quite ” Jack, I …”

" So your name is Anabelle ? That’s a nice name why do you call yourself Billie then ? “

" Do you know the meaning of the name Anabelle ? Anabelle means lovable, easy to love. Jack, I’m a mess. I will forever be the girl from the broken home, the girl with the dead sister. I drink ‘till I pass out, I smoke like a chimney, I sleep around and I can’t keep my life in place. Anabelle is everything that I am not. I’m not lovable. Don’t get involved with me Jack. I’m gonna leave you broken. I’m gonna leave a mess “

“ I think you’re an Anabelle “

And with that it was settled, I wouldn’t get rid of Jack Barakat so soon. For whatever reason, he thought that this mess of a girl that I was, was still worth it. That risking getting dragged into this chaos was worth it if he could help me getting better in the end.

" You’re something else Jack “

He let out one of his signature chuckles and I smiled too, inevitably. Hearing Jack laugh was like listening to a toddler laugh, you couldn’t help but smile along.

“ Told you I have my moments “

His eyes scanned the bucket list for the second time while I focused on my food that, by the way, tasted like an explosion of happiness and joy on my tongue.

" Let’s do some of those “

" Huh ? “

" Some of those things on the list, let’s do some of them. I mean there are things that take time and I can’t help you with those, like … I don’t know, fall in love , for example. But some of them sound really fun, we should do them “

I did certainly want to do those things, for Mattie, and having Jack by my side while doing them didn’t seem to bad. He was fun to be around, and he certainly cared about me. So why the hell not ?

" Alright then, what do you have in mind ? “

I hadn’t even read all the points she had put on the list, so maybe giving Jack control over what we did wasn’t the best idea.

" Just wait and see. When we’re done here I’ll go home get ready and call the guys and we’ll pick you up tonight at about…hmm 9? It’s gonna be a night you wont forget. “

Oh god, what am I getting myself into ?

" Alright sounds good can I bring a friend ? “

“ Yup bring the redhead, I think Zack would like her “

How did he know about Clover ? We had not spent a second together at the party, he must’ve seen us enter the house together. What a sneaky bastard.

" Okay cool. Whoever Zack is, he’ll be happy to see Clover tonight “

" Clover huh ? ” he chuckled.

" Clover ”



" Clover, hurry the fuck up. They’ll be here any minute now “

She was taking hours in the bathroom, as usual, but it was already 9:05 so the guys should be here any second.

That’s the thing about Clover, she’s always doing things last minute, no matter how much time for preparation she has. I think that’s the main reason she didn’t go to college. She was just THAT fucking lazy.

“ I’m almost ready “

Just as she stepped out of the bathroom, the doorbell rang and I hurried to open it, revealing Jack, looking handsome as ever, with his skunk hair and his gorgeous brown eyes. Next to him stood Alex, showing me an amused smirk.

They were accompanied by two guys I didn’t know, I bet those were ‘the guys’. His band.

" Well, hello Billie. You look exceptionally good tonight. Like a naughty version of Goldilocks ” Alex complimented me cheekily while placing a kiss on the back of my hand. (Outfit HERE)

The guys chuckled before Jack finally had the decency to introduce me to them ” Hey shortie, alright so you already developed a strong friendship to Alex I see “

Alex chimed in with a loud “ Dude, we’re totally besties ” that Jack casually ignored.

" This guy is Rian, our drummer and this here, this is Zack, he’s the man on the bass “

He pointed them out to me and I could definitely picture Clover and Zack, they’d make a pretty nice couple.

" Billie, I still don’t understand why we’re going out with them. Jack must be really fucking good with his tongue if you want to see him again “

Leave it to Clover to burst out sexual details when you’re currently having company.

As she rounded the corner her eyes widened in shock and embarrassment while Jack grinned like a Cheshire cat.

" Clover, these are Jack, Alex, Zack and Rian “

" Guys, this charming little lady is Clover “

She saluted the guys and immediately fell back into her quirky, outgoing self ” Sup guys ? “

They nodded her way and we made our way outside. Me and Clover rode with Jack and Zack and Rian and Alex took another car.

" You’re not gonna drink tonight ? ” I asked Jack, seriously confused by his behavior.

" Nope, tonight is all about you ” the evil smirk on his lips made me wonder if I had just made the biggest mistake of my life.



" No “

" Come on Billie, It’s on the list “

" Jack, there are many MANY things I do but singing is NOT one of them “

The guys had dragged us to some bar that looked like it was once the meeting point for shady biker gangs. And I have to admit that biker guys are kinda hot, but we were not here for the biker guys, or the beer.

Jack wanted me to fulfill point number 23.

#23 : Get up on the bar and sing and dance, just go wild.

Thanks a fucking lot Mattea, you know I hate singing.

“ I can’t sing for shit Jack “

Alex handed me a big glass containing a beverage that I soon identified as a mojito, a rather strong one.

" Neither does Jack sweet cheeks, but he still does ” Rian chimed in as we made our way towards the pool table.

" How about a round of pool then ? “

" Let’s spice it up a little, if you miss you have to take a shot ” Alex suggested. Those boys were aiming to get me drunk and up on that bar.

But good old Billie came back to the surface and she couldn’t say no to free drinks and a round of pool with her….friends ?!

I have to take a moment to say : I sucked at pool, so much. I looked like a animal without an opposable thumb that tried to switch on a lighter. I failed royally.

So needless to say, I was drunk of my ass. Again. Great Job Billie.

We soon spread around the bar, some of us drinking, Clover and Zack nuzzling noses somewhere and I was rocking the dancefloor.

I remember Jack loyally sticking to his oath of not drinking tonight. That was really helpful for me when some drunk ass guy in his mid 40s wouldn’t keep his hands off me.

His greasy fingers wandered up and down my tights and as much as I tried to push him off, the guy would not leave me alone for a second.

" Aye, leave the girl alone ” and for the second time in a matter of 24 hours, Jack Barakat came to my rescue.

" Sorry man, didn’t know the bird was taken “

Jack firmly pushed him away and snaked his arms around my hips. ” You okay Shortie ? “

" He called me a bird. What a prick. But yup I’m good, thanks to you Jacky Snacky. I think I owe you. You saved me again “

I softly stroked his cheek with one hand while the other roamed up and down his chest. Our eyes locked and I moved closer knowing exactly where this was leading. And hell yeah I was up for another night with Jack.

But no, no Jack Barakat was full of surprises and everything I knew was thrown over board when he was around.

" Not like that Anabelle, you do owe me but that’s not what I want. How about that dance though ? And the singing ? “

Looking back I’m pretty sure getting me drunk was his intention all along, just so I would get up on the bar and fulfill #23.

But I was far gone and didn’t give two shits anymore. I didn’t even noticed that he had called me Anabelle.

" Get me my Clover I’ll get my song and we’re meeting back here in 5 ” I slurred, quickly making my way to the oldschool juke box they still had here.

My woozy eyes lazily scanned the numbers and the song titles until I found the perfect choice. A song me and Clover had sang from the tops of our lungs more than once.

“Once upon a time.
Not so long ago”

" Billiiiie, that’s our song ” Clover’s chirpy voice called me and she came stumbling towards me, she had her fare share of alcoholic drinks too.

" Jacky Snacky get me up on that bar ” I called, in retrospect…that was probably the most idiotic nickname I could’ve possibly come up with.

His arms lived me up and I tried to steady my legs which was difficult due to mild intoxication and those killer heels.

Jack still had his arms up to be prepared in case I would hit rock bottom. Both metaphorically and in real life. And here rock bottom seemed hard and painful.

“Tommy used to work on the docks
Union’s been on strike
He’s down on his luck…it’s tough, so tough
Gina works the diner all day
Working for her man, she brings home her pay
For love - for love “

Clover and I swung our hips from side to side, threw our arms in the air and sang the words from the top of our lungs and the depths of our hearts.

“She says we’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We’ve got each other and that’s a lot
For love - we’ll give it a shot “

The whole bar had their eyes turned towards us but the only thing I focused on was the loud beat of the music in my ears and the rhythm that flowed through my body.

As we reached the chorus the whole bar was bolting the words back to us, the bar was on fucking fire.

“Whooah, we’re half way there
Whooah, livin’ on a prayer
Take my hand and we’ll make it - I swear
Whooah, livin’ on a prayer “

Soon I felt arms being wrapped around my waist and a body pressed close to mine. I knew his smell, his touch and I enjoyed every second that our bodies moved together. I felt comfortable, like I was on top of the world. Maybe trusting Jack wasn’t the worst idea. Clover had her arms wrapped around Zack’s tall frame and I caught a glimpse of his hands that slowly wandered towards her bum.

" You can tick that off your list Shortie, but we’re not done for tonight ” his husky voice met my ear and sent shivers down my spine.

Friends Billie, you’re barely friends with Jack. No sex, or anything of that kind. Friends don’t do that.

" What else is there Jacky Snacky ? “

He turned me around to face him.

" Okay number one, no more Jacky Snacky, what is that even supposed to mean ? And then, tonight is a perfect opportunity to tick off number 14 “

Jack jumped down from the bar and swiftly lifted me down as well.
As we were safely back on the ground I took a look into the notebook.

Number 14 : ” Get some liquid confidence and tell your ex boyfriend what you really think about him, face to face. I know you want to. Give him hell, Anabelle “

Fucking hell, Mattie.