With a Love Like Yours

That night we ordered pizza. It was vegetarian, which caused a few half-hearted, teasing complaints from Mikey and I, but neither of us could cook much without meat and Frank said he just burned everything he tried to make. While we ate we watched a movie. It was some brain dead comedy that wasn’t all that funny anyway. I kept finding myself distracted from the screen and looking at Frank instead. He was… intriguing. Yes, that’s a good word to describe Frank Iero. I like his name. It’s nice. Flowing, but crisp. His facial features are like that too, actually. Soft, but well defined at the same time. He would be great to draw. I like art, it’s kind of my thing. Art and music. I wondered what kind of music he liked. Would he like my stuff? I -
“GERARD? HELLOOOO? EARTH TO GERARD!” What?! I looked up and realized the movie credits were rolling and I’d been totally zoning out.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah. Sorry. I was thinking.”
“About what, Lindsay naked?” Mikey teased.
“Shut up!” Why would he say that? Frank was gonna think I was some perverted freak. Frank, who seemed to be more confused than annoyed or freaked out, chimed in at that moment,
“Uhm.. who’s Lindsay?” he asked.
“This girl Gerard TOTALLY has a thing for!” Mikey laughed.
“I DO NOT HAVE A THING FOR LINDSAY. SHE’S JUST MY COLLEAGUE!” I yelled in mock anger, pushing him off the couch. By this time Frank was giggling his head off at us. He had a very nice giggle, I noticed. It was contagious and soon we all ended up on the floor, laughing stupidly. Once we stopped and I caught my breath I felt the need to finish defending myself. “Seriously though guys, we’re friends. That’s it!” It’s true. Lindsay’s really great and we’re good friends, but that’s all we are. I’d never really thought about her as anything more.
“Alright, alright, keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. I’m tired. I’m gonna go to bed, if you don’t mind.”

* * *

Soon after Mikey went to bed Frank and I followed suit. I wasn’t all that tired, but Frank said he was and he needed the couch, so I’d gone into my room. It’d been fun, eating and watching the movie and laughing with Frank and Mikey. I’d been a while since I’d just hung out with anyone like that. Even though I’d barely known Frank a day, he seemed cool. He seemed like a friend, and I don’t really have enough of those.
As I lay there in the dark thinking, something I do a lot, I heard a muffled sound from the living room. It wasn’t a normal noise of the building, I knew those well, but somehow it was still familiar. Then I realized. It was crying. It was Frank Iero crying. With all the smiles and laughter I’d forgotten how sad and scared and angry he still must be. How could I forget? So much for being a “friend.” I listened for a minute, debating whether I should go out and try to comfort him or just pretend not to hear it. I ended up going with the second option. For one thing, I wasn’t great at comforting people and he barely knew me. For another, I’d spent enough nights crying into a pillow to know he probably would prefer if I just left him alone. I pulled one of my own pillows over my head. I felt so bad for him, but there was nothing I could do right then, so I tried to ignore the muffled sobs, and eventually fell asleep.