With a Love Like Yours

The second night I heard Frank crying I couldn’t just lay there and listen to it. It was such a heart wrenching sound. Like he was empty inside but so full of sadness at the same time. I got up and quietly walked into the living room, thinking about what I was going to do. As I got closer to him I could see he was shaking. I didn’t know whether it was from tears or something else. I was only about five feet away and he still hadn’t noticed me.
“Frank..?” I said quietly. He jumped and looked up at me, eyes wide, a terrified expression on his face.
“Gerard!” He squeaked, his voice breaking on the a.
“Hey, hey Frank. It’s um.. it’s okay.. Can I sit?” I didn’t really know what to say. What do you say to someone you barely know when they’re sobbing and shaking and looking like they’ve seen a ghost? He didn’t say anything, so I took that as an okay. I sat down a few inches away from him. His knees were pulled up to his chest and he was hugging himself so tightly that I could see the muscles in his arms straining as if he was trying to physically hold himself together when obviously he couldn’t mentally. I tentatively put my hand on his back and for a moment when I my hand first made contact with his shirt he tensed up even more and I almost moved away, but then he relaxed so I did too. “Hey Frank,” I said again, trying to make my voice sound soothing, “Try your best to calm down, okay? Breath..Just breath..” He seemed to be having a sort of panic attack so that’s how I treated it. I slowly moved my hand up and down slightly on his back and he relaxed a little more. We sat like that for a while, me rubbing his back and telling him to breath, it was going to be okay, Frank hugging his knees to his chest. After about ten minutes (I think. Time is hard to judge late at night) his shaking had mostly subsided and he turned his head a bit so he could look up at me through his hair, which I thought looked cute falling across his eyes like that, but then I felt bad for thinking that, given his current state.
“G- Gerard?” He said slowly, his voice shallow and rough from crying so much.
“Yeah, Frank?” His eyebrows furrowed together.
“I- I’m sorry..”
“For what?!” I asked, I was completely confused. If anything I should’ve been apologizing for walking out here and intruding when he probably just wanted some space.
“For being like this. You didn’t have to come comfort me. You shouldn’tve. You look exhausted, I’m keeping you from sleeping. You shouldn’t have to help me..” The look on his face looked so horribly sad, like he was completely disappointed in himself and worried I’d hate him.
“Oh Frank, it’s fine. It’s totally fine. I..I think I understand sorta what you’re feeling, okay? I get..sad..a lot and I have some anxiety too.. I get it. It’s okay.” He just looked at me for a few seconds. From his expression it seemed like he’d never had anyone tell him it was okay, never had anyone understand. Then suddenly his face flooded with relief and very slowly, very carefully, he hugged me. Usually I would object to being touched, but with Frank that night it was okay. I hadn’t really had a hug in a while. I put my arms around him and hugged him back.
“Thank you Gerard.” He whispered, moving away from me a little. “Thank you.” I told him it was no problem and if he ever needed me he should come and get me. And it was true. I was perfectly fine staying up late to make sure he was alright. It didn’t bother me in the least.
Frank seemed to be doing okay and like he was ready to go to sleep, so I let him. I walked back to my room and got into bed. Twenty minutes later when I still couldn’t quite sleep I got up, just to check. Frank was fast asleep. I hoped he was dreaming something happy.