The Diary of Mari Delrous: The Beginning of the Second
AUGUST 2012
AUGUST
TUESDAY AUGUST 7TH 1:32 AM
YO YO DEVIIL!
Gawd im learning so much of myself these days. RIGHT NOW in the AM I am currently listening to the great EIGHTEEN music stations here compared to the TWO country stations we had at loosetown BAWHAHWHAH…Right now I am proud of myself because at 12 I managed to sneak a double popsicle from the fridge. YAAY MIDNIGHT POPSICLES! Texting friends….they disappeared! Oh wellll! So for the past 2 weeks….ok its really dark right now im going to try and fix my handwriting….
ANYWAY AS I WAS SAYING, the past 2 weeks have been great I went back to to the theatre courses! Musical theatre yeaaaaa cheesy! I kid it was really fun we ended with a bang! Show! My parents video taped our performance but I got angry because my father kept zooming up on MY FACE and not everybody else so it made me uncomfortable and made the video not facebook worthy for our crew. DAAAAAAAD…..also I was a little two flamboyant compared to everyone else I think cause apparently I was WORKIN IT a lot but I was the only one so I look silly…..I feel so embarrassed…OH WELLL
The first week was just chill and goofing off, the second week was BOOM LETS DO THIS.
ANYWAY so not long ago I kinda did something stupid I was texting Jaylynn who was freaking out about Connor but I gave her a wake up call it could be worse using the example of how Mark stopped talking to me. She then got me worked up to confront him or something because I was going crazy. So I messaged thinking whats the worse that could happen?
“Mark what happened we haven’t talked in forever what did I do wrong whatsup?!”
After about a day he answered something like : “its not that I just find no time for that stuff anymore.”
That’s when I had an are you fucking kidding me face. And I asked why sort of confused then he said: “I don’t know, maybe because a good friend of mine Is pregnant so im helping her out in anyway I can, So im too busy taking care of her.”
I just froze. I told him what I thought just like how sweet that is, then I just stopped annoying him.
I don’t know anything anymore, I sort of explained that to him in a way and he seemed confused like with the how my friends disapeered thing.
It just ended with wha?
ME: Eh?
Oh?
ME: Eh?
I burnt my finger on a toaster….
Me: Ouch toaster….
Anyway hes cool and all but I don’t think wed ever be as close as we used to be. I just don’t know anything I haven’t done much art anymore I painted a bit sure, Manga, nah…comics yes….And I haven’t continued Moon yet. I cant find much motivation but im struggling to keep it going no matter how boring it gets!
I think im just missing the ingredient: Friends, people, people to tell me what they think to push to help me so I can help them! Sometimes being alone is the worst weakness…
How come when I finally like somewhere I end up leaving….I was actually important in loosetown to some people….People started to know me….here….I still love but….
Oh well just live and screw society.
Speaking of society I have come to learn a lot of people my age are suffering from the same I am….Embracing….something they shouldn’t…It seems a lot of us are depressed and shrewed up by society and just everything going on in our world. The message that is given to us is: Nothing in life is fair, Companies with money rule the world and ruin it, Humans are stupid bwahbwah, all true, love doesn’t last, amen, everything sucks kill it all or kill yourself. So many I have personally asked said they think that way and hate the world because of it and yet these are all people who you wouldn’t expect to say that. Its like we are all depressed inside.
I….want to do something about this….
Change the mental….
Some would say im nothing but naïve…..
Well fuck you then.
So many young ones think this way its like an army! We could send a message! That something must change its course somehow before its too late and we’re all crazy! Haha madness seems lovely….
AUGUST 8 2012
I had another dream!!!!!!!
I HAD ANOTHER DREAMMM?!!!
Not cool BRO! What does this mean?!
Does my body want me to LOOSE THE VISA CARD OR SOMETHING?!
WHAT IS GOING OOOOONNN?!?!
Ok breathe….breathe….breathe….
Ok im at peace now.
SO WHAT?!?! sex ISN'T NECESSARILY A BAD THING RIGHT?!
You know without it there aren’t any dirty jokes that make you laugh like ONHONHONHONHON!!!! Can you imagine a world without dirty jokes?!?!?!
So what its uh….somewhat natural right?
OH GOOOD……
WEDNESDAY 29 AUGUST 2012
I got my braces off today…Now I feel weird….tomorrow I get a retainer….Now even though I got my braces off its only for one year and then I get new ones again. YEP. NEVER ENDS.
Anyway….
I made a friend not long ago.
He is my Californian pen pal. Nolen
This must be the coolest pen pal I ever had cause hes fun to talk to! And hes pretty nice….at day….xD Yeah AT DAY….And ill mention this because we both have something in common. We’re both werewolves….inside joke….Anyway I love this guy! Thanks to his wise words I got over Mark! Its like he knows I can do better! We may be penpals but we are also like each other’s human diaries or something! We tell each other secrets that absolutely nobody knows about us which is amazafying! And I know im over mark cause I had a dream Mark asked me out to be his girlfriend and I denied. When I woke up I was like….IM FREEEE! And with secrets we did this thing where we exchange something and I told him about the dream that I felt ashamed of…You know that ONE DREAM I MENTIONED EARLIER….and he said the best thing possibly to say! “Well its only human lol!” That makes it feel SOOO much better! Anyway with every conversation like that we end up making a cheesy “pun” Pens with benefits. AHHAHAHA cool guy.
TUESDAY AUGUST 7TH 1:32 AM
YO YO DEVIIL!
Gawd im learning so much of myself these days. RIGHT NOW in the AM I am currently listening to the great EIGHTEEN music stations here compared to the TWO country stations we had at loosetown BAWHAHWHAH…Right now I am proud of myself because at 12 I managed to sneak a double popsicle from the fridge. YAAY MIDNIGHT POPSICLES! Texting friends….they disappeared! Oh wellll! So for the past 2 weeks….ok its really dark right now im going to try and fix my handwriting….
ANYWAY AS I WAS SAYING, the past 2 weeks have been great I went back to to the theatre courses! Musical theatre yeaaaaa cheesy! I kid it was really fun we ended with a bang! Show! My parents video taped our performance but I got angry because my father kept zooming up on MY FACE and not everybody else so it made me uncomfortable and made the video not facebook worthy for our crew. DAAAAAAAD…..also I was a little two flamboyant compared to everyone else I think cause apparently I was WORKIN IT a lot but I was the only one so I look silly…..I feel so embarrassed…OH WELLL
The first week was just chill and goofing off, the second week was BOOM LETS DO THIS.
ANYWAY so not long ago I kinda did something stupid I was texting Jaylynn who was freaking out about Connor but I gave her a wake up call it could be worse using the example of how Mark stopped talking to me. She then got me worked up to confront him or something because I was going crazy. So I messaged thinking whats the worse that could happen?
“Mark what happened we haven’t talked in forever what did I do wrong whatsup?!”
After about a day he answered something like : “its not that I just find no time for that stuff anymore.”
That’s when I had an are you fucking kidding me face. And I asked why sort of confused then he said: “I don’t know, maybe because a good friend of mine Is pregnant so im helping her out in anyway I can, So im too busy taking care of her.”
I just froze. I told him what I thought just like how sweet that is, then I just stopped annoying him.
I don’t know anything anymore, I sort of explained that to him in a way and he seemed confused like with the how my friends disapeered thing.
It just ended with wha?
ME: Eh?
Oh?
ME: Eh?
I burnt my finger on a toaster….
Me: Ouch toaster….
Anyway hes cool and all but I don’t think wed ever be as close as we used to be. I just don’t know anything I haven’t done much art anymore I painted a bit sure, Manga, nah…comics yes….And I haven’t continued Moon yet. I cant find much motivation but im struggling to keep it going no matter how boring it gets!
I think im just missing the ingredient: Friends, people, people to tell me what they think to push to help me so I can help them! Sometimes being alone is the worst weakness…
How come when I finally like somewhere I end up leaving….I was actually important in loosetown to some people….People started to know me….here….I still love but….
Oh well just live and screw society.
Speaking of society I have come to learn a lot of people my age are suffering from the same I am….Embracing….something they shouldn’t…It seems a lot of us are depressed and shrewed up by society and just everything going on in our world. The message that is given to us is: Nothing in life is fair, Companies with money rule the world and ruin it, Humans are stupid bwahbwah, all true, love doesn’t last, amen, everything sucks kill it all or kill yourself. So many I have personally asked said they think that way and hate the world because of it and yet these are all people who you wouldn’t expect to say that. Its like we are all depressed inside.
I….want to do something about this….
Change the mental….
Some would say im nothing but naïve…..
Well fuck you then.
So many young ones think this way its like an army! We could send a message! That something must change its course somehow before its too late and we’re all crazy! Haha madness seems lovely….
AUGUST 8 2012
I had another dream!!!!!!!
I HAD ANOTHER DREAMMM?!!!
Not cool BRO! What does this mean?!
Does my body want me to LOOSE THE VISA CARD OR SOMETHING?!
WHAT IS GOING OOOOONNN?!?!
Ok breathe….breathe….breathe….
Ok im at peace now.
SO WHAT?!?! sex ISN'T NECESSARILY A BAD THING RIGHT?!
You know without it there aren’t any dirty jokes that make you laugh like ONHONHONHONHON!!!! Can you imagine a world without dirty jokes?!?!?!
So what its uh….somewhat natural right?
OH GOOOD……
WEDNESDAY 29 AUGUST 2012
I got my braces off today…Now I feel weird….tomorrow I get a retainer….Now even though I got my braces off its only for one year and then I get new ones again. YEP. NEVER ENDS.
Anyway….
I made a friend not long ago.
He is my Californian pen pal. Nolen
This must be the coolest pen pal I ever had cause hes fun to talk to! And hes pretty nice….at day….xD Yeah AT DAY….And ill mention this because we both have something in common. We’re both werewolves….inside joke….Anyway I love this guy! Thanks to his wise words I got over Mark! Its like he knows I can do better! We may be penpals but we are also like each other’s human diaries or something! We tell each other secrets that absolutely nobody knows about us which is amazafying! And I know im over mark cause I had a dream Mark asked me out to be his girlfriend and I denied. When I woke up I was like….IM FREEEE! And with secrets we did this thing where we exchange something and I told him about the dream that I felt ashamed of…You know that ONE DREAM I MENTIONED EARLIER….and he said the best thing possibly to say! “Well its only human lol!” That makes it feel SOOO much better! Anyway with every conversation like that we end up making a cheesy “pun” Pens with benefits. AHHAHAHA cool guy.